Falling Apart©
By
Meg Galganowicz
“Someone better be dead.”
“I can call you tomorrow if you like, but you had said you needed to talk to me.”
“Alison, hi, I fell asleep waiting to hear from you. How was the week?”
She yawned and accepted his sweetness without sarcasm as she walked to her room. “JC, you sound exhausted, why don’t you give me a call in the morning?”
“Not a chance. I finally got you on the phone, I’m not going anywhere. So what have you been up to?”
“Tennis, dancing, avoiding Riley…the usual really. Jake and Kay arrived home tonight and I ran into them. Or rather…they found me.”
“Why is Riley giving you trouble?”
Aly sighed and pulled out her pajamas. “Just harassing me the past couple days.”
“What do you mean harassing?” JC questioned, turning onto his back and leaning into his pillow.
“It’s nothing I can’t handle, Jez, don’t worry about me. How’s the music coming?”
“It’s coming.” He paused and chuckled low, “What am I saying, it is awesome. The stadiums are off the hook.”
She smiled and ran a hand over her face. “Hold on a minute, I’m gonna change to get into bed.”
“Aw, don’t put thoughts like those in my head,” he whined lazily.
Aly rolled her eyes and put the phone down. She quickly changed into a pair of shorts and loose tank-top before picking up the phone and falling back on her bed. “So, you needed to talk to me about something?”
“No.”
“That’s what your message said.”
“I needed to talk to you in general, just…hear your voice I guess.”
She felt herself smile, “You still can charm a girl. How are you doing without Laura?”
He didn’t answer for a minute or two, but she could hear him breathing deeply. “I feel guilty for this…but I’ve noticed her absence less and less. Is that a bad thing? Does that make me an asshole or anything, Al? Coz when I broke up with you I was miserable for months. I’m not this time though.”
“How long had you two been together?”
“Almost six months.”
“Not as long as we were, maybe that could be part of the difference.”
“Maybe.” Or the difference could be that I really loved you and not her, he told himself silently, shuddering at the implications his discovery had.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(Month or so Later)
By the end of the summer, Aly was feeling herself spinning out of control. College was over, but she had chosen not to immediately go on to graduate study. Kaylie had taken back all the classes Aly was covering months ago leaving Aly to only work with the younger tennis players. Jake did his best to look out for her, but he was busy with running the pro shop and giving lessons. Plus, he was a married man now, priorities shifted.
Not that she blamed him in any way, but she suddenly felt like she was out on her own. The thought frightened her as she let Aurora and herself back into the apartment after going for a walk. Mentally she had been pushed to be the adult and take care of herself when her parents died. Physically and materialistically, however, someone else had always been there for her. Whether it was Eric, Jake, Kaylie, or the guys.
The apartment was silent and she looked around it with a dismayed expression, her soft features wilting at the loneliness. What was she going to do with her life? Tennis had dropped out of the picture except as a way to make money. She barely made enough to pay rent and eat each week, however, and reality was hitting home. Jake offered to help out in August, but being the stubborn person she was she had refused. A silent prayer went to her father for setting up the trust fund when she was younger. It had, in combination with the finances left by her parents’ passing, allowed her to get out of four years of college almost debt free. There had been a few loans but nothing she shouldn’t be able to pay off in a few years. Then again, where would the money be coming from in a few years?
One thing she could count on was the friendship that was rekindling between JC and herself. It was all she really had left at the end of the day that she was sure of. The phone rang, interrupting her thoughts. It was a beacon to her, suddenly, of how slowly but surely she was depending on him again for her happiness.
“Yeah? I mean, hello?”
“Yeah? That’s how you answer your phone now?”
Aly sighed and fell back on the couch, closing her eyes. “It has been a long day, a long week, and you just interrupted my thoughts. ‘Yeah’ is going to have to do.”
“Sorry I asked. What happened this week that made it so long?”
“You honestly want to know? Okay, sit back and get comfortable.” She cleared her throat and began the tale, ending finally with the current Friday. “The hot water wasn’t working when I got up this morning so I took a cold shower. Traffic was hell because some idiot got in an accident, making me late for work. One little girl started to cry in my noon clinic because a ball hit her, which is pathetic. The damn thing can’t really do that much damage, especially at the speed a four-year-old hits it. Aurora has a limp, though I have no idea why. And I was just realizing that I’m completely alone in this damn city now that I succeeded in finding Jake a life, I have bills to pay, and my future is slipping away because I have no direction. Then you called.”
“I’m included in that mess? My apologies. I think it’s better to try and look at good things though, rather than dwell on the bad.”
“You are such an ass, you know that Justin?”
“Yeah, the guys have been telling me that a lot lately. Don’t know why.”
She shook her head, “Newsflash, you put your nose where it doesn’t belong!”
Justin was quiet for a moment as he talked to someone else in the room with him. She knew they were staying at a hotel at the moment, at least that’s what she had been told.
“Justin, don’t tell everyone my problems! Geez…you are such a gossip it’s disgusting.”
“I don’t usually get mistaken for Justin, but thanks for the perspective. Sorry you had such a bad week.”
Aly groaned and stood up to try and get started on some form of dinner. “You have no idea how good your voice sounds right now.”
He chuckled softly, “No, can’t say as I do, but anything that helps I’m up for.”
“How about a nice long massage after a bubble bath?”
“Only if I can join you.”
She laughed out loud, “That would sorta be crossing the line between friends, don’t you think, Jez?”
“I guess, yeah. It’d be fun though, wouldn’t you say? Fun and relaxing, perfect combination.”
“Why do I put up with you?”
She could see his smile through the phone and rolled her eyes. “You need me, hun, and you know it.”
The phrase stopped her as she reached for the handle of the refrigerator. You need me. The same thought that had come to her only several minutes before was being thrown back in her face by the same man that it involved. It was true.
“Al? You there?”
“Mhm.”
“You sound spaced. Watching TV with mute on again or something?” he teased.
“No,” she replied, the sound coming out as a whimper as she sat down cross-legged on the floor to scratch the puppy behind the ears.
JC’s brow furrowed and he hushed the people around him. “What’s going on, Al, you’re upset.”
“No, not upset at all.”
“Don’t lie to me,” he sighed, “please.”
“You’re right. I do need you.”
He was caught off-guard by her blunt statement and glanced at Justin and Chris who were in the room with him. A lump formed in his throat. “You know I need you, too.”
“Thank you, Jez. That’s not what I meant though. It was a really long week and a bad day, but all I could think about was the chance that I might get to talk to you tonight or this weekend. That’s dangerous.”
“I don’t really know how to take that,” he answered quietly, leaning back on the bed. Justin glanced at him for a moment questioningly before turning back to the card game he was playing.
“When we were together I needed you and that led to almost self-destruction when we ended. I don’t want that to happen again. We aren’t even involved and I need you. It isn’t bad in any sense about you; it just frightens me some that’s all.” He didn’t reply and she rushed to cover her sudden disclosure. “Hell, you’ve got your entire life before you and an immense bank account. I’ve got my life before me with only a shattered past. At least my parents left me enough money to get me through college.”
“Al, I needed you, too,” he returned finally. He had wandered into the connecting room that was unoccupied to get away from the curious stares of his friends. “I still do. I mean, this is me going completely mush on you here, but…I look to talking to you or seeing you as a refuge. At the end of a tough week you’re the voice I want to hear. Sure, it’s frightening…but I’m not letting go of that again. Even if we’re only friends.”
“When did you become such a sap?”
“Since you made me watch all those movies.”
Aly laughed lightly and felt a small blush climb to her cheeks. “You want to know why Riley and I split?”
“Only if you want to tell me.”
“He hit me.”
JC froze, the very blood in his veins running cold. “He hit you.”
“Very good, you could be a parrot. Yes, he hit me. Not that often, and he was always more than eager to make up for it. It all came to a head at the engagement party because he wanted to go home early – you can easily assume why. I didn’t want to and he…well he tried to force me. We got as far as just outside the building when he slapped me for refusing to go any further.”
“Did he ever really hurt you?”
“Only my pride and my trust.”
JC thought for a few minutes, trying to imagine a reason as to why anyone could raise a hand to the young woman. He never found one, but instead found a buried need to ask her something. Can I…It would have to wait, however, because this wasn’t the time. “Did Jake kick the crap out of him?”
“No. But he’s fired him at this point. Riley couldn’t believe I didn’t love him. I almost wanted to laugh at his face when I told him that, it was a Kodak moment.” She giggled to herself at the memory and smiled into the phone. “Up until mid-August Riley worked at the club with me, we’d give clinics together, etc. Jake finally hired someone else to replace him because the guy was still trying to dominate me.”
“Why didn’t you get his position?”
“Too close to Jake. It would have looked inside. Not that it would matter, everyone there loves both of us.”
“Aren’t we modest.”
“Hey, I got Christmas presents from a bunch of people last year. How cool is that?”
“Very.”
“I have no direction anymore, Jez, this is a problem.”
“What is it that you want to do now?”
Aly drew her eyes to a focused point on the floor, bewildered. “What do you mean?”
“When I met you, you were determined to become a professional tennis player. You had ambition that I admired and was drawn to. What is there now that you want to do that you don’t think you can? Do not saying ‘nothing’ because I know for a fact that there is something you are itching to do.”
Without hesitation she answered him. “Dance.”
“Okay. We’ll find a way for you to do that then.”
“We?”
“Yes. As in you and I. There’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to dance. Do you want to teach or just dance?”
“Um, I don’t know. Hadn’t entertained the prospect of either really. Filling in for Kaylie was fun, but I loved just the dancing itself. There’s so much passion and expression it in.”
JC smiled confidently. “Think about it and call me over the weekend, alright? Lance is giving me a look that means I have to be somewhere.”
“Tell him I say hi. Thanks for ending the week on a good note, Jez.”
“Anytime hun, you know that. Give me a call later. Bye.”
“Bye.” Aly looked down into Aurora’s adorable face and a grin a mile long spread across her face at the thought of what she might be able to pursue. “This is going to be one hell of a rollercoaster.”