Falling Apart©

By Meg Galganowicz

Chapter 8: Endless Night

Aly awoke with a start, a frightful image in her mind. Grabbing her phone and day-planner she quickly punched in a series of numbers. Anxiously she waited, pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. There was a pause as it was picked up and then a familiar voice came over the line.

“Yo, Spaz’s lair, ‘sup?”

“Um, Chris please,” she asked, trying not to let on who it was.

“Who is this?”

Before she had a chance to answer Chris demanded his phone back and spoke into it hurriedly. “Hello?”

Aly’s head spun and began to throb. “Dad?”

“Hey you, what’s up? Haven’t heard from you recently. Leavin’ us behind for bigger and better things?” he joked.

“Dad, please…”

Her lost tone caught his attention, as did the despondence that was obviously clouding her beautiful features. “Hold up, talk to me.”

“I...um…I can’t stop shaking and my head really hurts.”

“You getting sick?” he questioned, sitting down away from the noise of other people, motioning for a curious Justin not to follow him. “No. I…”

Chris knew she was trying not to cry, but he was frightened as to why. It had been awhile since she’d cried as far as he knew; she was stubborn like that. “Try to explain what’s happening inside,” he told her softly. All he could do was talk to her.

“Maybe….yeah…should I call Jake? I mean, you’re probably really busy. Geez, I’m sorry Dad, I didn’t really think before I…I mean, when I woke up I just…I’ll see if I can get a hold of him.”

“No, wait, Al. Don’t do this now, you needed me and I’m here. Whatever it is I’m right here.”

She sighed and clenched her eyes tight to fight back sorrowful tears. “Everything’s falling apart at the seams,” she whispered, her voice barely carrying through his phone.

“What do you mean?”

“JC is gone, I’m away from all of you, Jake, and Riley. I don’t have any friends here. And I…I didn’t make the team this year either. Dad, what am I supposed to do here?” Aly’s voice had fallen to a whimper and several tears cascaded down her face. “I’m trapped here with nothing.”

“No…no you’re not. You can come visit us some time, we’ll send you plane tickets and you can hang with us before a concert. Maybe play some hoops with Curly?” he tried.

Aly shook her head with a foolish smile stretching her lips before she realized he couldn’t see her. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

“Then I’ll demand it of you, okay? Don’t fall apart on me.”

By now Justin was seated beside Chris and trying to listen in on the conversation as best he could. The older man’s hands were starting to tremble and he quickly picked up Busta and began to pet him. Justin knew something was wrong and started to worry frantically about their friend in California. They were, however, at a photo shoot in the middle of the. He tuned back in when Chris’ voice raised.

“Alison, do you promise to call Jake when you hang up the phone?” Chris demanded.

“Yes.”

“And let me know when you’ve talked to him and what’s happening okay?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry Dad….I just can’t do this anymore…”

Chris heard her cries and spent additional ten minutes calming her down before finally getting her to hang up and call her close friend. After turning his cell off he ran a hand across his face and put Busta down on the floor.

“Chris what is it? What’s goin’ on?” Justin persisted.

“Not good, J, not good at all.” And that’s all he would say. They went on with the photo shoot, neither of them saying anything to Joey or Lance for the time being.

Once they had gotten back to the hotel and everyone was occupying their small down time Chris fell back on his bed and stared up at the ceiling blankly. “Haven’t heard back from her?”

Chris’ eyes shot open and toward the door he had left ajar. “Nope.”

Justin sat down backward on a chair and rested his arms on the back, heaving a small sigh. “Chris, you have to tell me what’s going on.”

“Says what rule?”

“Says the rule that we are friends and that I love that girl as if she were my sister,” Justin ground out. It was true, the more they had been apart and he worried about her the more he found that he loved her. Not as his bandmate had, but much like Lance had – though he kept it under his belt much better.

Lance was leaning on the doorjamb with his arms crossed, “I knew there was something you two were hiding.” He walked in and took a spot on the floor after closing the door, resting his back against the wall. “So spill.”

Chris rubbed at his eyes, resting a forearm over his face. “Aly called during a break at the shoot today.”

“Yeah, I know that much,” Justin cut in, “What was wrong?”

“She’s scared, J, and I really don’t know how to help her. She said she’d call Jake so hopefully he’s calmed her down. She had said she was shaking.”

Lance let his head fall back against the wall, making a low, hollow sound. “Damn it.”

Justin pulled out his phone and found her easily. “Come on…pick up…” He waited for a full minute but no one picked up the line at her dorm. “Shit.” He flung the phone recklessly and let it fall on the couch.

All three men sat silently, each praying wordlessly that their fears weren’t answered.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

(Two weeks later, Aly’s spring break)

Jake tossed his keys on the counter and whistled as he went toward his bedroom to drop off his tennis bag and some clothes he picked up from the cleaners. “Hey Al!” He kept walking toward through the kitchen and into the family room, thinking she’d fallen asleep. He didn’t see her. He began hearing music, however, from her room and smiled wanly. “Crazy girl.”

He knocked on her bedroom door and opened it carefully when he didn’t hear a reply. “Al? Come on, I wanted to tell you something, where are ya?” he joked, thinking she was in the closet searching for something she had left behind on a previous visit.

Still no reply. Scratching the back of his head he looked through the remainder of the house before noticing the partially open bathroom door. Quickly throwing it open his eyes scanned the area, landing on her huddled form immediately. “Aw Al, hun…” He bent over next to her.

Her knees were pulled up to her chest and she was dressed in her pajamas, which she had been for the entire day apparently because they were still wrinkled. There were tear stains on her cheeks, leaving a red ring around her eyes as she stared blankly ahead of her. Jake put a hand to her cheek but it was cold. “Al..hey, Alison, look at me. Come on.”

When she didn’t respond he looked around with panic, thinking she had taken something, but nothing was in sight. “Aly, what happened? Are you hurt? Do you feel sick?”

Her lips parted and she started to say something, but the words stuck in her throat for a moment before she could get them out. “I want you to leave, Jake.”

“Not a chance, Alison.”

“Jake, I want you to leave – now.” Her voice was forceful and so level it made his spine straighten. She pulled away from him, curling up to hide something in her lap.

Jake yanked her to her feet and a picture-frame went smashing to the floor. Aly instinctually lunged for it, the glass cutting her hand in the process. “All right…let me have that.” He carefully slipped the picture out of her injured hand and onto the windowsill before setting to work to clean off her cuts. Shaking his head he caught himself whispering a soft Hail Mary under his breath.

Aly remained motionless, watching him with a numb expression. “Why didn’t you leave? I told you to leave.”

“Alison, you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried, so don’t even think I’m walking out,” he whispered. “Besides, you’ve got a visitor coming over tonight so we have to get you all prettied up.”

Her eyes looked at him suddenly, seeing a spark in his eye. “No. No, I don’t want to see anyone.”

“Too bad, coz we’ve been planning this one out for a bit. You’re going to take a shower and I’ll find something for you to wear okay? Kaylie will be over shortly; she was just going home to get changed. I’ll be in the kitchen making dinner.” He finished up and placed a delicate kiss on her cheek. “Careful okay? I don’t want to lose my baby sister.”

Aly nodded, watching him hesitantly walk out. She did notice, however, that he took the picture, glass, and frame with him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

JC sat crouched against the wall, head in his hands. Numb. It was the only word that seemed to come close to how his body felt heavy and empty; the way his mind refused to do anything or listen to anyone. A few trembling fingers rubbed at one eye for a moment before falling to his side as he let his head rest against the wall. The yelling came back to him from a week ago, the truth in the voices tore his heart open with little effort required.

“What the hell were you thinking JC!?”

“I was thinking of her!”

“Excuse me?”

“You didn’t see her on New Year’s Joe, you didn’t see what I saw!”

“Like hell I did. You two are so f*ckin’ good for each other it almost makes the rest of us sick. Why the hell did you say that?” Joey shoved him up against the wall, getting fully in his face.

JC shoved him even harder, sending the man stumbling back a few steps. “Don’t you ever tell me about my personal life, Fatone.”

“Well some one sure as hell has to,” Joey muttered.

“What the f*ck makes you all think you know what’s going on, huh? Why in hell gives you the right to butt in?” JC yelled, his voice raising.

Bodyguards were scattered throughout the hallway but no one made a move to separate the two. No one knew why the other three members hadn’t stormed out of their rooms to split up the escalating argument, but everyone knew it was coming.

“Coz someone needs to show you how much you hurt her.”

“She would have gotten hurt anyway, Joe. You didn’t see the pain and fear in her eyes…not like I did.”

“Damn you Chasez!” Joey exclaimed, jumping at him and shoving his head into the wall. “She loves you! But obviously you don’t deserve that.”

JC, watching his band mate with narrow eyes, was about to lunge forward when Justin stepped in and pressed him into another room.

The curly-haired young man leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. “I miss her too, you know. Laying into Joe isn’t the answer,” he spat out bitterly.

JC stopped, back to his band mate, and every muscle in his body tensed. “I suggest that you either shut up or get the hell out of my room,” he growled, head down as he restrained himself.

Justin couldn’t stand it. “I know you love her and so do they, we just don’t understand what’s going on. It’s showing in your performances, ‘C,” he countered.

Counting to ten, JC attempted to calm down, but his friend’s next response pushed the wrong buttons.

“Are you afraid to admit you hurt her? Or that you made a mistake but are too f*ckin’ proud to admit it?” Justin pushed off the wall and shook his head in disgust.

JC’s eyes narrowed and he whirled to face the younger man. Instantly he pinned his friend up to the wall, hostility in his voice. “I swear to God, J, if you don’t shut the hell up there are going to be some very upset teenyboppers!” he cried. His hand gripped the baby blue jersey as he slammed Justin into the wall. “All I want is to be alone. Do you understand? Or should I pound the message into you so that you do understand?!”

Justin’s eyes were wide with shock at first, but they narrowed as well. “You wouldn’t.”

“You bet your ass I will.”

“Put him down, JC.”

JC hesitated at the familiar voice, but let his friend go, stepping back as he did so.

“Justin go back in your room,” Mike told him, an annoyed tone in his voice. Turning to JC he crossed his arms and glared. “Sit.”

“Mike, I’d appreciate it if you would just leave me be.”

“What the hell has gotten into you?”

“I don’t need you lecturing me, Mike! I’ve got a mother and father at home, not to mention 4 band mates who think they’ve got the f*ckin’ right to-“

“Damn straight they have the right. Those four guys have seen you go through everything in the past five or six years, Justin longer than that. Don’t you lose respect for that now JC. They want to know what’s going on so that they don’t end up the victims and so that they can help you. Stay here until someone comes to get you to leave for the venue.” Mike glared at him once more, then stalked over into Justin’s room, slamming the door behind him.

Justin was packing his stuff and ignored the door and Mike.

“You mind telling me what the hell that was all about?” Mike asked indignantly. “I’m used to holding back hormone driven, crazed females, but not one of your best friends!”

“He’s being an ass about Aly. He hurt her so badly, Mike, you have no idea,” Justin replied coldly.

Mike ran a hand across his face. “Stay here. That means this room and the bathroom, no where else. I am going to talk to Wes and the others.”

A small sob choked up through his chest as he clenched his eyes shut tightly. He was tearing apart everything he loved. He didn’t want to go home because he didn’t want to infect his family with whatever was happening to him. Shaking his head he stood up quickly and walked over to the bed, intending to make a phone call. He dialed the ingrained numbers on his cell but immediately hung up. His body slumped over and his forearms rested on his knees.

“She trusted me and I hurt her. They trusted me and I fought them. I lied…to my best friends.” His words began to shake as he slumped down onto the floor, his back up against the bed. A few tears fell and he covered his face in desperation as the world closed in around him.

* * *

“Yo, man, that was ‘C’s number,” Justin relayed to the others in the room. He had snatched it up quickly, hoping Aly had called him.

“What did the ass want now?” Chris snapped.

“Hey, he may have screwed up but he’s still our friend.”

Lance shifted in his spot and watched Justin’s face harden. He hurriedly stood up and shoved the chair back by the table. “I’m not losing another friend to this mess,” he muttered to himself.

Two minutes later he reached down and pulled JC to his feet, holding him tightly in a gruff embrace. They stood that way for a good ten minutes, JC leaning thankfully into his friend, ashamed at the way he had been acting. Lance walked in when Justin hadn’t returned and laid a hand on his shoulder in hopes to comfort the youngest. Justin locked eyes with Lance and the bass of the group was surprised to see a tear trickle down his pale cheek.

“We’re gonna work through this, man,” Justin promised in a hoarse voice, clutching his best friend close to him, “We won’t let you down.”