Falling Apart©

By Meg Galganowicz

Chapter 4: It’s Your Smile

(Two weeks later)

Aly walked away from the main desk with a bewildered expression on her face as she studied a sizable, thick envelope. Once she got back to her dorm she plopped down on her bed and settled to an Indian style position. “I don’t even recognize the return address,” she mumbled. A light suddenly went off in her head and she tore at the seal, anxious to see its contents.

As the envelope fell from her hands she pulled out a stack of papers and pictures and placed them on the bed in front of her. One in particular caught her eye and she reached for it curiously. A light blue, 4x6 envelope had her name scrawled on the front. Turning it over in her hands she saw a small tennis ball on the back, hand sketched. Opening it carefully, so as not to rip any of it, she pulled out a single sheet of paper. A letter.

Aly-

Hey girl! Didn’t think we’d forgotten ya now did ya? I’m not sure exactly what city we’re in at the moment, which is sad really. Ya know, 12-year-old girls throwing themselves at me isn’t all that great when I’m half-awake. Hope school is going well and all that, my tutor is leaving so I’ll have a new one soon. Lou isn’t very good at hiring these people I don’t think and my Mom is getting annoyed.

“I need you (I need you), more than anyone baby, you know that I have from the start.”

~Justin

Aly laughed and folded the letter back up. “That kid is crazy.” Shaking her head she reached for another envelope, this one was red however. “Two guesses who this is.” Sliding her finger under the seal she tore it open and gleefully pulled out another letter.

Twinkle toes!

Greetings from Mars! We’re all going a bit out of it for now, which I’m sure you can gather from all this stuff. It’s random but if it’s related to you at all, I’ll admit that it was probably Lance, Justin, or JC that found it. Oh, and Joey picked out the Superman thing for you, says it’s from his collection. So don’t lose it! ;-) Keep up the hard work for tennis and everything will fall into place!

“It’s not easy to fall in love”

~Joey ~Chris

“Don’t go hinting at me Chris, that’s not helpful,” she pouted, putting the letter away and reaching for another one. “Yellow…” she pondered. She giggled when she started reading it, there was no mistaking who it was.

Baby girl –

I still don’t know exactly why I call you that. I duno, it just fits. Anyway…you have got to be permanently scarred from seeing us dancing around that night back in Florida. But that was a lot of fun. Unfortunately because of the PHONE HOGS I haven’t been able to talk to you much since then. So here’s what I’ve got to say for now: Damn… Okay so I don’t really have anything fascinating to say! As you can see each of us has written and put in little quotes at the end. How are you coming on them? I think Justin’s was a little too obvious. I’ll be difficult – as always – and toss in something original! ;-)

“Is she walking back to me?”

~Lance

“Aw, Poofoo, you can do better than that!” she laughed. “And we all know who this is,” she commented to herself as she picked up a final envelope of the same size. It was black, and her name in a tight, quick cursive with a silver pen looked back at her. “What have you got to say, Jez.” She sighed and opened it, holding the letter delicately between her fingers. Her breath caught in her throat and she leaned back against the wall silently. Her fingertips brushed across the words. His handwriting alone fascinated her.

Aly ~

How’s my girl doing? Good I hope. Sorry I haven’t been able to call recently, things have been hectic and we’re all exhausted. Chris kidnapped my phone the other night so that I’d sleep instead of call you. We only had about 4-5 hours of sleep that night. Ah well…such is the business I guess. Tryouts are in a few weeks aren’t they? Good luck! ;-) Do you have a 3-day weekend at all some time soon without a massive paper due? I was kind of hoping I might be able to see you again, even if we can’t go out somewhere. Give me a call when you get the chance, even just to leave a message. I don’t care if it wakes me up…just want to hear that voice of yours again. Miss you…

“You found your way into my head, Where even angels fear to tread.”

~JC

Closing her eyes she forced herself to control her emotions. She had always known how she was feeling and been able to bite back tears and screams. This was different, because she couldn’t understand the thing that was causing them. A lone tear rolled down her cheek before she furiously wiped it away with the back of her hand. “He didn’t want you to cry,” she scolded. Glancing at the pile of small pieces of paper, trinkets, and pictures she had to laugh. These five young men certainly knew how to make a person feel good.

After another half-hour she had looked over everything and placed it back in the envelope for safekeeping. Tucking it under her pillow she climbed off the bed and picked up the portable phone she and her roommate had invested in. “Here goes nothing,” she whispered. Dialling a number that was instinct to her fingers she paced nervously around the room. She was ready to speak into an answering machine when she heard a click at the other end, but a warm voice was in its place.

There was a warm rumble of laughter through the phone. “Shazaam.”

Aly was mute. She practically dropped the phone.

“Hello?” he repeated, sounding a bit annoyed this time.

“Bryan Adams,” she replied lightly, surprised she was able to say anything.

He was silent for a moment, and she could hear Justin in the background asking whom it was. “You know it?”

“Yeah. I’ve got almost all of his CD’s actually.”

“Wow. And here I thought I was being tricky.”

“That whole package was incredible. Thank you. I loved all the pictures of you guys goofing off and stuff.”

“We had a little time here and there on our own so we just collaborated. Sent it two days ago by over-night.”

Aly laughed. “I didn’t pick up my mail from the past 3 days till now.”

“Damn girl, you gotta do that more often!” he laughed, “We may send stuff more often.”

She stood and looked out the window. “So…where are you guys right now?”

“Somewhere in the middle of the country I think. This touring thing is amazing. A lot of work and not much sleep, but amazing nonetheless. Overall the response from fans is unbelievable.”

“I would think. You guys dancing around like that and singing pop ballads at the same time, that’s enough to make anyone go wild.”

“Cute, real cute.”

“That’s me.”

“Damn, I gotta pass off the phone before I can’t have kids.”

Aly laughed at the image of one or more of the guys threatening to kick him. “Please, go.”

After a scuffle she heard an upbeat voice yell triumphantly. “Hey Al!”

“Don’t break his phone!” she cried.

“We won’t, don’t worry. So you got our stuff?”

“That I did. And you were much to obvious with your quote mister, but I loved it all.”

“Good. Smiling? Laughing?” he quizzed, prying for reactions.

“Yes, all that and crying.”

“Aw no! You weren’t supposed to do that!” he exclaimed in dismay.

She smiled. “It wasn’t you it was Jez. Don’t mind that though, it wasn’t bad. You really need to get yourself a tutor and stick with them, otherwise you’ll never make it to graduate babe.”

“Yeah, I know, and there’s still two years to go.”

“It’s hard work, but give me a call if you ever need any help, okay?”

“Thanks, Al. Aw damn, I’ll talk to ya later.”

“Bye Justin.”

“Baby girl, how are ya?”

“Lance!”

“That be me,” he replied, chuckling.

“You know, Pretty Woman is quite a famous song, I don’t see how you planned to stump me on it.”

He laughed out right at her reply. “You’re right, but it was worth a shot. You listen to that type of music or what?”

“A bit yeah. I’m open to basically everything.”

“That’s cool. Wow, I finally get to talk to you.”

“Don’t mind my babbling here, but you sound as if your voice has gotten deeper, if at all possible.”

“Not that I know of.”

“Oh well, guess it’s just coz I haven’t heard it in awhile. Do you think I could talk to Joe for a minute?”

“Yeah sure, take care.”

“You too!”

Joey chatted to his best friend for what seemed like a half-hour before finally handing off the phone to a pouting JC. “Seems your guy is getting jealous,” he told her.

“He’s not really ‘my guy’ Joe…”

He paused, thinking about what she had said, before saying goodbye.

“You just feel the need to be best buds with each of them, don’t you?” JC asked, feigning frustration.

“Very funny. I didn’t get to talk to Chris, so make sure he calls me some time in the next week or so.”

“Anything up?”

“Nah, I just want to chat and catch up.” Liar.

“Oh.” He was silent for a moment and she could tell that he was walking away from the rest of the group.

“Where are you hiding this time?” she joked.

“Bathroom,” he sighed.

“JC, you really need to do something about this.”

“This?” he asked nervously. Oh no…

“The fact that you’re always ending up in the bathroom, hallway, or closet when I call!”

“Oh, that. Yeah, I know…it’s fine with me as long as you’re on the other end of the line.”

“Don’t go all mush on me here babe, that’s not like you. What’s up?”

“Just miss you that’s all.”

“Miss you too,” she replied, taken by surprise at his admittance. “Don’t you guys have somewhere to be?”

His brow furrowed at her changing the subject. “In a few minutes yeah, we’ve got an interview for a magazine.”

“Didn’t I tell you that y’all would hit it big?” she whispered, forcing the words out on a strained breath.

“Yeah, I think you did.” He closed his eyes and listened to her breathing, imagining each breath as it drifted past her lips. “Aly, is something wrong?”

“No, nothing. I’m just…worried about this paper I have to write, not really sure how I’m going to go about it. That’s all.”

“Oh.”

“You should get going, I know it takes you five forever to get going. By the time you walk out the door you’re always late,” she teased.

“True, true,” he sighed. “Can I call you tomorrow?”

Her lips curled in a bashful smile. “You can try. I should be awake but there’s no guarantees.”

“Alright then, ‘till tomorrow. ‘Night Alison, sweet dreams.”

His voice was smooth and sent a chill down her spine, but at the same time she wondered why he was so sweet. “’Night JC, sleep well.” Aly hung up and rolled over on her stomach. Stop pouting and don’t cry it’s not the end of the world. Don’t expect more and you’ll be surprised. She repeated her mother’s words over and over in her head, all the time knowing she was convincing herself of a lie.

(A week later)

Aly leaped across the room and picked up the phone. “Hello?”

“How’s my girl?”

“Chris! Hey!” she exclaimed, surprised and flustered momentarily.

“You sound out of breath… Anything goin’ on I should know about?” he teased.

Aly cried out, “Unless you want to know the details of my English class, no.”

“Too bad…no action, huh? Not even a little?”

“Chris!”

He laughed heartily and the conversation continued. They talked about how her psych classes were going and what she thought about pursuing it as a career. She greatly declined, determined to make it first as a tennis player – her heart’s desire. The evening grew late as they talked about her family and friends, and he eventually brought up her and JC. Aly grew quiet and answered questions as minimally as possible. One question, however, broke her damn and the doubts she had poured fourth. After another hour it had turned into a partial argument.

“Why don’t you just say something to him? Be the one to make the move!” Chris asked, exasperated.

“Because I’m not the person who can do that! Don’t you understand? I may be a fairly out-going, confident person, but there’s nothing worse for me than being turned away. Nothing. And that’s not a risk I’m willing to take with him.”

“Then let me talk to him.”

“Why? So I can tattle to my Dad and he’ll feel sorry? Thank you no…”

Chris sighed. “It’s late Al. You should get to sleep so that you can play tomorrow, and I have interviews and rehearsals to do.”

“Okay. Good to hear from you though, and thanks for listening.”

“Hey, no problem. It’s nice to have someone want to have a real conversation with me.”

“Any time Dad.”

“Sleep well Alison.”

“You too.”

Justin and JC were digging into bowls of cereal when Chris followed Joey into the room. “Curly is here before I am?” Chris whined. “Damn, I’m getting’ slow.”

“You’re gettin’ old is more like it,” Justin retorted.

“And he speaks!”

“It’s his second bowl,” JC let on with amusement.

Chris nodded as he poured a cup of coffee. “Might I speak with Shazaam?” he requested in an imitation of Yoda.

JC stopped mid-spoonful and let his eyes roll to rest on the older man warily. “Depends. Why?”

“There are matters that need to be discussed,” he continued.

JC finished his last mouthful and sighed. “Why do I have the feeling there’s a slim chance of coming out of this alive?” he whispered loudly to Justin. Justin grinned and waved goodbye like a little child. “Right, thanks for the support there kid.”

“Come.” Chris nodded solemnly, then burst into giggles and wandered into an adjoining room. JC bid a farewell to Joey and told him to say goodbye to Lance for him, then followed Chris and closed the door behind him.

“So what’s up oh mighty one?” he questioned, sitting down on the bed.

Chris paced for a moment, then flat out glared at him. “Are you having fun?”

“Excuse me?”

“Are you having fun? It’s a simple question. I never thought you would be the one I’d have to ask, but here we are and I’m hoping I don’t have to lecture you.”

“Mind explaining why you’re getting pissed off?” JC snapped, his eyebrows furrowing in sudden defense.

“Alison, JC – Alison,” Chris emphasized, leaning forward.

“Yes, I know her. We both talked to her last night.”

“I’ll be blunt because you’re blind to what you’re doing to her obviously. Are you having fun playing with her?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” he growled, standing up.

“Spell it out, Chasez. Do you or don’t you care about that young woman? Because if you don’t than you have got to tell her.”

JC’s brow knitted in confusion. “What?”

“Answer the damn question,” Chris bit out.

“It’s none of your business!” JC exclaimed, laughing haughtily.

“It is my business because she told me and trusted me with information last night that flashed in neon red that she’s hurt!” Chris cried. “So tell me, do you or don’t you care about her?!”

JC froze, staring at his friend. “What did she tell you?”

“Answer me.”

“Tell me.” JC stepped forward and the two friends found themselves in a face off, both angered and emotional.

“Unless you give me a reason I see no point in telling you!” Chris shouted.

“Yes!” JC screamed suddenly. “Damn it yes, I do! Not that you’d understand that!”

Chris’ eyes flamed. “News flash JC! She doesn’t know that!”

The door opened and a deep voice yelled at the pair. “What the hell is going on in here?”

Chris continued as if he hadn’t heard his eyes piercing JC’s deep blue ones fiercely. “So why don’t you figure out exactly what you mean when you say you care about her. This is one person I will not allow to be left in the dark or hurt. No questions asked.”

“Oh, so now I’m supposed to propose to her so she doesn’t feel hurt or neglected?” JC snapped. “Not going to happen Kirkpatrick.”

“Did I say you had to marry the girl!”

“Will you two SHUT UP!” Lance shouted, his deep voice rising louder than any of the guys had heard it before. Their eyes landed on him curiously and he put his hands on his hips. “I have a feeling I know what’s going on and it won’t end well I’ll tell you that now. So chill out. Chris, you’ve told JC now let him deal with it, he may be blind but he isn’t cruel and he isn’t stupid. JC,” Lance sighed as he turned to him, “for everyone’s sake, keep yourself in check today and take some time out by yourself tonight We don’t have anything scheduled after the dinner. Go back in there and finish breakfast so that we can get to practice in a civilized manner. Please.”

Chris and JC numbly nodded, exchanging short nods with each other and silently walked back into the other room. Lance shook his head in disapproval as he followed them. Justin let out a whoop and put his hand up for a high five from Lance. “Go Lance! Bein’ the big guy!”

“Is something wrong?” Aly asked, breaking the silence between them. It seemed they always had something to talk about, there was forever a topic to find. That was something she cherished and found in no one else.

“What? No, why would you think that?”

“It’s just…you’re being really quiet tonight. Feel okay?”

JC bit his lip for a moment before letting out a defeated sigh. “Al I lied. Chris and I fought yesterday morning.”

“Jez, what… What does this have to do with me?” she asked curiously.

“About you.”

“Oh.” She sat down and felt a knot twisting in her stomach. It was all too obvious now what they had argued about, and she didn’t like the sick feeling that filled her body.

“He was right though, and I haven’t been fair to you. I can’t believe I’m saying this. I really like you and…care about you.” He cleared his throat. “Chris said that you were hurt, and it’s probably my fault.”

“No, JC. Wait, what did he tell you?”

“It doesn’t matter what he told me, Aly. Just hear me out okay?”

“JC.”

“Please.”

“Fine.”

“There’s something here and if you’re willing to work with the distance… Alison I want to give us a try.” He held his breath and waited to see if she would say anything. “Aly?”

“Did he put you up to this? Did he force you to change your attitude and all this?” Aly demanded her tone indecisive.

“No. He just thrust the truth under my nose. I mean it, Alison. What….um… What do you say?”

Aly became flustered. “You’re serious aren’t you. Oh my God… I didn’t think you’d…you never seemed as if…”

JC cursed himself. “I’m sorry if it came across that I didn’t really care or anything, but that was in attempt to convince myself. Girlfriends weren’t something I allowed myself to think of or consider once we signed the contract. And you have to know that I can’t go public with this, Lou cornered us all into this image that restricts us. I wouldn’t have minded. But after the past three months… Would you give it a chance with me?” he asked, his voice dropping and becoming soft.

Aly swallowed hard and a grin crept across her face. “Yes,” she squealed quickly, sounding as if she were back in high school. “Are you sure though? I mean, I don’t want to have…”

“Alison.”

“And let me remind you I don’t look that great in a dress. I’m athletic not a model. Not that I’m going to need to get dressed up I guess, but uh…”

JC laughed and he rested his head back against the wall. “You look damn sexy dressed up hun, I wouldn’t worry about that one if I were you.”

“Right. You’ll have to keep trying to convince me of that one. You should get going though, right? The guys are probably dressed by now and waiting for those hacky-sack skills,” she teased.

“Hey, watch the cracks there. We may not be experts but we’re better than you!”

“Good point. Go on, I don’t want to keep the fans waiting any longer.”

“All right. I’ll call you tomorrow okay? You don’t have class Sunday right?”

“Nope. I just have a few errands to run at some point.”

“Good. Sleep tight Al, and sweet dreams.”

“You too hun.” The hung up and Aly’s grin was almost permanent. Nothing could brighten her day more than a call from him, or even a message on the machine. They seemed to be not only growing as people but also growing together, their lives becoming intertwined with one another. She fell back on her bed and sighed contentedly, staring up at the white ceiling vacantly.

JC flipped his cell phone off and shoved off the wall to head down a string of halls and back to his friends. He walked in and tossed the phone in his bag, which security would pick up and get to their bus while they were on stage. Chris, Joey, Lance, and Justin were scattered around the game room doing various things. “Yo, Chris, come ‘ere!”

“Huh?” Chris looked up in time to see JC’s face before he was enclosed in a tight embrace. Once released he raised an eyebrow in question. “What the hell is up with you Mr. Smiley?”

“Hey, that’s my name!” Joey exclaimed from his position playing fooseball.

“Yeah well, he’s the one that’s grinning,” Chris pointed out. “Should we just call him the Cheshire Cat or somethin’?”

“I did it.” JC’s statement made all four heads turn toward him in recognition. His eyes shone and he was almost bouncing out of his outfit.

“Jez…” Justin questioned.

“Did what exactly?” Lance finished.

Chris’ eyes widened in surprise. “Seriously? You...”

JC nodded and hugged him again.

“Um, mind telling me why he’s getting all the hugs tonight?” Joey asked.

“Coz he’s the one who yelled at me.”

“Huh?”

“Just tell us already,” Lance sighed.

JC held his arms out to his sides and answered him, “It’s official. I’m no longer ‘single and ready to mingle’.”