Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
Never slap a man whose chewin' tobacco.
Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.
Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
Never follow good whiskey with water unless you're out of good whiskey.
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
Never shoot yourself in the head to stop a headache.
Never trust a man who agrees with you; he's probably wrong.
~*~
It doesn't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
Lettin' the cat out of the bag is a lot easier than puttin' it bag in.
Good judgement comes from experience.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. the moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
Sure, we could start making fun of Yankees but where's the fun in that?
The biggest problem with an open mind is that your brains may fall out.
You can always tell a tenderfoot...they think Heinz ketchup is spicy.
Careful is a naked man climbing a barbed wire fence.
Cowboy dress is determined by three things: weather, work, and vanity.
Ride the horse in the direction its going.
Did you know that there is an equestrian anatomical miracle going on in the world?
Generally you ain't learnin' nothin' when your mouth's a-jawin'.
Tellin' a man to get lost and makin' him do it are two entirely different propositions.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a raindance.
~*~
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets the harder it is to swallow.
The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.
The results are the same givin' a teenaged brat a loaded gun or a fast car.
~*~
If you're riding in front of the herd take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
If you get to thinkin' your a person of some influence try ordering someone else's dog around.
If you find yourself in a whole the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
If it don't seem worth the effort it probably ain't.
If you aim high, make sure you have plenty of ammunition.
~*~
When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don’t be surprised if they learn their lesson.
When you’re throwin’ your weight around, be ready to have it thrown back by somebody else
~*~
Don’t worry ‘bout bitin’ off more’n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger’n you think
Don’t interfere with something that ain’t bothering you
Don't squat with spurs on
~*~
There are three kinds of men:
1) The one that learns by reading.
2) The one that learns by observation
3) The rest of them pee on the electric fence for themselves
There are more horse’s asses than horses.
There’s two theories ‘bout arguin’ with a woman. Neither one works.
~*~
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Always look at what ya eat; it may be critical to know what it was
~*~
A closed mouth gathers no foot
A woman marries a man thinking she can change him, but she can’t. A man marries a woman thinking she won’t change, but she does.
An old timer is a man who’s had a lot of interesting experiences—some of them are true
~*~
Most smart asses just don’t fit all that well in a saddle
Most times, with free advice you get what you paid for
~*~
Some men talk cause they got somethin’ to say. Others talk ‘cause they got to say somethin’.
Some people get carried away with their own importance…trouble is, it’s never far enough.
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