Title: Flights of Life

Author: Jesfrealo

Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we all know I don’t own ‘em, stop reminding me. I’m not making any money, this is done purely for enjoyment.

Ratings: PG

“When’s Ez getting home?” Buck Wilmington asked as the guys sat down to lunch.

“He’s getting a flight in right now,” Chris Larabee commented from his place at the table. It was Friday and they’d been working really hard lately so Chris decided to give the guys a break and take a nice big lunch at Inez’, “Plane’s supposed to arrive at 3:30.”

“Wonder how the seminar went?” Vin commented.

“Frankly, Brothers, I’m surprised Ezra stayed around for the whole thing, we all know that the two things our absent brother dislikes most are seminars and other people telling him how to do his job,” Josiah said just before he took a gigantic bite of his turkey club.

“Well, now, that mighta had somethin’ to do with Chris’ threat on ol’ Ez’s life,” Vin said before turning to Larabee, giving him a cockeyed grin and adding, “Ya think, Cowboy?”

“Shut up, Tanner,” Chris fairly hissed. “Anyway, who wants to go pick him up?” Chris asked flashing briefly back to Ezra’s adamant refusal to leave his Jag in some parking lot for a weeklong seminar.

“Reckon I could go,” Vin finally volunteered seeing no one else really felt like going to pick up Ezra, who would no doubt be doing his best to act like a bear. For whatever reason Vin had never seen a man who flew so often in his career hate flying so much. It wasn’t even so much that the man was scared of it (even though he was not only scared but terribly paranoid) he just couldn’t see anything good in flying. Vin could remember him often stating that, ‘The human species was not meant to take to the skies, had that been the intent we would have been created with wings’.

“Thanks, Vin,” Chris commented, glad he hadn’t had to force anyone and doubly glad that he wouldn’t have to go, if he had he might have been forced to inflict severe bodily harm on the wily southerner, the man had a penchant for annoying him the likes of which no other single human being possessed.

~7~

Ezra Standish hated flying. He hated it for many reasons the least of which included the hassles involved with flying. Throughout his life, whether it be when he was simply Maude Standish’s child to be carted off to wherever her next con was or during his less then illustrious career in the FBI to now in the ATF, he had always been forced to fly.

However, Ezra hadn’t always hated flying. As a child, he loved it; he thought it was the most wonderful thing to soar through the clouds. As a teen he had found it incredibly exhilarating. That all changed at age 18. In his life Ezra had only ever had one positive male role model and that was a particular English teacher who also happened to be some long lost relation. Upon finding out, when Ezra was just preparing to enter high school, that they had a relative in teaching Maude decided she would throw her troublesome teenage son on the vibrant, middle aged, high school English teacher.

Michael Wilbourne, long decided bachelor, welcomed Ezra into his home immediately, having always loved kids, particularly teenagers. While most found them nothing but difficulties, Mike didn’t share those opinions. He’d taught teens for twenty-six years and had learned that no matter how difficult they seemed he could learn just as much from them as they could from him, provided he could break through the aloof, and often vain and sarcastic exteriors that his students and teenagers, in general, tended to carry as their shields.

Ezra had been a decidedly tough nut to crack, so to speak. However, in the end Mike had won out and gotten to the core of Ezra allowing his true and beautiful colors to show through. Mike had showed to Ezra to importance of learning and had taught him not only freshman English but also how to enjoy learning and want to learn more. He also helped Ezra to see that his mother’s way wasn’t the only way. That there were other avenues in which he could use his “God given talents” without having to become a con. When Ezra turned sixteen Mike gave Ezra his first taste in the idea of being an undercover agent and set the fire that would drive Ezra into the FBI and ultimately into the ATF.

Mike helped Ezra to find his true potential and get into a good college. Ezra knew that all he’d accomplished in his life was thanks to Mike’s guidance. However, Mike would never know that. When Ezra turned 18 and left for the University of Georgia, Mike had gone to visit his sister, who was ill in California. Ezra had driven him to the airport and had watched the plane take off. When it was in the air Ezra left the airport and thought nothing more of it. He’d headed home and hit the books, and then he’d gone to bed. The next morning he woke up and flipped on the TV, as he was getting ready to go to his first class. It was all over the news. A plane had crashed, while attempting to make an emergency landing in California’s Salinas Valley. While there were some survivors there were at least fifty casualties and no one had escaped unscathed or with minor injuries. No one was * walking * away from this. Ezra had promptly made the telephone calls only to find out that Mike was missing as of that moment. Ezra couldn’t find the energy to go to class that day. He couldn’t find the energy to do anything. He just sat by the phone waiting for the call. He finally got it at 9:30 that night. Mike was still alive, but only barely.

That was all Ezra needed to hear. With the exception of Mike’s sick sister he had no immediate relations. And Ezra wasn’t going to let him go through it alone. As Ezra had boarded the plane he realized he’d never before realized the risks that getting on an airplane posed, if anything went wrong you were dead…

Ezra quickly chided himself, he knew it was more likely for you to be killed or injured in your car but all of the sudden he got cold chills thinking about getting on an airplane. He shook the feeling away though, he had to see Mike.

He spent the next days watching Mike struggle for life. He was on life support, with tubes everywhere. Ezra was faced with a terrible decision. As of his eighteenth birthday, Mike had given Ezra power of attorney if anything terrible were to happen to him. Now it was Ezra’s decision whether or not to pull the plug on his now comatose mentor, hero, and friend. Weeks later, Ezra could not stand to see the man he’d admired so much anymore. He knew the man wouldn’t want to live this was, such a vibrant person didn’t deserve to suffer like this. The doctors had told him often that even if Mike did ever awake he could never resume anything resembling the old life he loved so dearly. In the accident his neck had been broken. Mike would be quadriplegic. He would need a machine to breathe for him. He wouldn’t be able to teach. He wouldn’t be able to write. He wouldn’t even be able to feed himself. And that was assuming he ever woke up, and that he didn’t have any brain damage, two huge ifs.

Ezra felt hot tears running down his cheeks when the life support was finally taken off. When Mike finally was freed to go into heaven. Regardless of that knowledge, Mike’s death still stung, Ezra would never again feel so alone as he did in the days following Mike’s death. He’d never felt such pain, he guessed that this was real life- and it sucked.

From there Ezra’s life had been one rotten downward spiral. Partly because he had allowed Maude to take a large portion of it over. He felt numb. No one really understood. No one got it because no one could understand it-at least not anyone Ezra had ever met. People couldn’t understand how some guy who Ezra had stayed with on and off for four years, some devoted English teacher, some guy Ezra was hardly related to and no one could really understand, people couldn’t understand how some guy like that could mean so much to Ezra. What they didn’t understand was he had saved Ezra. He’d made him see that the world wasn’t crap. He’d made him see that the whole world wasn’t the crap he’d experienced in his short life, and that anyone can change the world. Mike made Ezra realize the vast possibilities this life we all live has to offer and that anyone, even some no account high schooler could make a difference and could change the world any way he damn well pleased. That was just part of what Mike taught Ezra.

Ezra walked into Mike’s home angry. It was anger on the surface, and it was caused by feeling unwanted and unloved his whole life. It came from loving his mother with all his heart and never feeling any love returned. It was being abused. It was all this culminated into no self-confidence and self-hatred; needless to say that he also hated the whole world and everyone in it. However, Mike changed that. He changed everything in a way that Ezra would never in all his years be able to comprehend. Mike managed to bring out who Ezra would have been had he been truly loved. Mike instituted some tough love. He instilled self-confidence into Ezra. And he made Ezra see that he wasn’t the only one who had gotten some kind of raw deal in the life department. And on top of all that he made Ezra stop hating the world and all it’s inhabitants by making some insights into Ezra’s mother that Ezra had never thought of. Mike hinted that perhaps Maude loved him but had suffered too. That maybe she was afraid to love him because maybe Maude had gone through things as bad or worse then what Ezra had gone through. Only with Maude maybe no one had been there to show her the truth. To show her the stuff outside the crap.

That’s what Ezra lost when Mike breathed his last. Mike taught a no account kid to dream, to see the wonder of everyday life. Mike taught Ezra the wonder of life itself, but when Mike died Ezra lost the wonder, and all the other lessons.

When Ezra graduated college he joined the academy to get into the FBI. Those years went by in a blur, Ezra never stopping to realize what he’d accomplished. The wonder just wasn’t there, and neither were the dreams or the hope, life just really wasn’t there for him.

All his successes came in the FBI came, but there was no one to share them with. Ezra grew more devoid of all the good things; every day was cloudy. Then the scandal. Ezra was sent undercover one last time for the FBI; at least, he knew it would be his last time. It was deep cover; he was there for nearly a year. When the time for the bust came Ezra finally realized how far gone his life was; how dreary his existence was. He realized it when he realized he didn’t want to break cover, when he didn’t want to go through with the bust. When he wanted to stay with the criminals. However the bust did go down. With flying colors. And Ezra boarded a helicopter, from that moment on Ezra would always associate flying with the pain he felt at that moment; the pain of losing Mike, the pain of what his life had become, the pain and the crap-he was lost in it again. All that pain from one lousy mechanical error. One lousy misdirection. One lousy flight.

At that point he felt there was nothing he could do to fix the mess his life had become. So he didn’t do anything and the clarity was gone. That miserable but clear moment was gone and life descended further, straight to rock bottom…

That’s right, Ezra had reached rock bottom. On the outside no one would have thought so, but he had, internally Ezra Standish was standing in the seventh circle of Hell on Earth and damn near close to jumping into real hell. Yup, right out the eleventh story window of his FBI office…wait, make that his former FBI office, right out of that damned window straight onto the pavement and from there, real hell.

~7~

“Hey,” A decidedly female voice called from beyond the abyss he was in.

Everything was shaking. Correction, everything was dark * and * shaking.

“Hey!” The woman’s voice was more persistent this time. “Wake up!”

Oh, I’m sleeping, well hell lady, I’m not any more. Vivid green eyes opened, “Madame,” the southern drawl came out sounding decidedly pissed off. “Why have you awakened me?”

“Well, first, I thought you might not want me to hear your entire life story, second I thought you might want to use this,” She held up a tissue, “before that stewardess you were attempting to hit on walks by again,” She finished sounding completely unperturbed and completely calm, cool, and collected.

“Number one, why on Earth would I require that hanky? And what do you mean? I don’t recall regaling you with my life story. Kindly explain yourself,” Ezra asked, now a little less pissed, but extremely confused.

The woman didn’t respond but her hand search through a backpack that she’d lifted onto her lap. “Look,” She said simply, handing him a small mirror from her bag.

Ezra took the proffered mirror and looked into it. To his great surprise his eyes were red, puffy, and bloodshot. Furthermore, his cheeks were tearstained with moisture still resided on his cheeks.

As the woman saw the surprise register on the stranger’s face she held out the tissue once more. Ezra took it without a word and wiped his cheeks. He used the Kleenex to wipe his face with one hand while he still held the mirror with the other. As he studied himself he remembered the dream. He remembered the horror of that time of his life. He remembered the pain and the memories had been triggered the moment that he’d bordered the plane. Suddenly he went back to what the mystery woman had said ‘My life story?’ Ezra thought. “I was talking in my sleep,” He said slowly a look of sheer horror on his face.

“Yeah,” She said gently, her voice taking on a kind and gentle tone that Ezra was surprised to hear. For the first time he noticed her. She had brown hair with light, natural highlights. It was messily tied back into a loose bun-looking thing high on her head. She wore sort of a baggy long sleeved, dark blue t-shirt that had interesting white designs all over it. Noticing the collar of the shirt he could see she was wearing another shirt beneath it. The one she’d been wearing when they boarded the plane. It was sort of a khaki, yellow color. It was soft and relaxing, cotton. It was sleeveless, with three, metal buttons down the front, and weaved lines making up the rest of it. She also wore off-white, pull string, Calvin Klein shorts, and gray, blue, and yellow New Balance sneakers. Her clothing hid what was obviously a less then average figure and while her face was pretty, Ezra felt the woman, perhaps in her mid to late twenties, was slightly overweight despite looking athletic and a life-long tomboy. She was nothing spectacular, more like spectacularly average. However he studied her eyes, which showed a sharp wit and intelligence. Those were eyes that showed incredible spark and life. They had a hard edge but right now showed something of compassion if not empathy.

“How much did I say?” He asked praying she hadn’t heard as much as he feared she had.

“More then I should have let myself hear. I should have woken you up, but I got nosy and caught up in the little narrative you had going. You must be quite a story teller if you can paint pictures like that in your sleep,” She said with a smile, in a vain attempt to make him feel better.

Ezra let out a little, under-his-breath, cynical laugh. “Really, how much do you know?” He spoke quietly.

“I know you were abused and unloved as a child; that your mother was a con artist and trucked you off to wherever she could. I know that when you were 14 and beginning high school you were sent to a far off relative named Mike Welbourne, a middle aged English teacher who taught you the truth of life. That he ended up dying in a plane crash when you were 18. That it was you who ended up making the decision to pull the plug. That your life spiraled. That you were an undercover agent for the FBI and were falsely accused of being on the take. That you wanted to stay undercover. That you were getting fired from the FBI and in turn your whole life and you left me off with…you were about to commit suicide by jumping out of your eleventh story office window because you felt your life had descended into Hell so you might as well take the express route to the real thing,” She finished making the thing seem like a marathon saying it all in what seemed like one breath.

“I’m guessing I didn’t say it all in such spare detail?” Ezra dared to hope.

“I’m afraid not, you told all including your personal feelings. I apologize for listening but I’ve got to ask. What happened?” She said sounding truly heartfelt and concerned. Ezra looked into the woman’s eyes and saw true caring. Ezra knew how to read people and as far as this woman was concerned it was clear to any fool, himself included, that she was the real deal. She was a good and honest person who wasn’t speaking to him to pry but out of worry for him. Her ultimate goal was not to leave him be until was sure he was all right, better then all right.

“If you are to know my * entire * life story, may I perhaps have the honor of knowing your name?”

She laughed quietly. “Yes, it’s Karen, Karen Conrad,” she laughed once more and shook her head, “Do you always talk like that?”

“I’m afraid so, my dear,” Ezra genuinely smiled, he liked this woman. He never took to people this quickly. The look in her eyes reminded him a little of the look in Mike’s eyes, true caring, honesty, love for all people, and a wonderful vest for life.

“Will tell me what happened, I mean with the window?” She asked again then quickly added, “I mean if you don’t want to tell me I would understand completely but you know, I’d like to know. But don’t I mean I don’t want to…”

“It’s alright, Miss Conrad. I’ll endeavor to tell you,” Ezra paused a moment and locked eyes with the woman and gazed into them. She gazed right back, unblinking, unflinching, never looking away. She let him see right into her. So he began to speak, always keeping eye contact, “It was my first turn of good luck, since meeting Mike. I was sitting on the inside windowsill just looking down and deciding on when to jump. That’s when the intercom in my office rang. The was taut, abrupt, and an utterly nasty as usual. It was my boss, calling me to his office. I stood up and left the window thinking that whatever this call was about would finally drive the cowardice away and allow me to jump. So, with that in my mind I walked into his office. Within was my boss and a man clad entirely in black. But not stuffy FBI agent black clad. This was black jeans, a black button-down western looking shirt. He was wearing a shoulder holster and a leather jacket was on the back of the chair he was sitting in. I wasn’t sure where he worked but it sure as hell wasn’t the FBI. As I walked in he stood and turned to face and greet me. His eyes were hard and cold and though he jovially smiled and nodded his head at me slightly I got the distinct feeling this was not a man to be crossed. Anyway, then my boss nodded his head and the man asked me to come with him. I did and we walked to my office. He nodded for me to sit and he did the same. He told me he was starting a new ATF team and that he wanted me to be their undercover agent. I asked him if he knew my record. He said he did. I asked if he knew the charges that had been made against me. He said yes again. I asked him if he knew I was a maverick and rebelled against all authority. He again said yes. I asked him why he would want me on his team. He said simply it was because I was the best. I said, 'How can you ignore the accusations that I’m on the take'. Then he sat back and asked ‘Are you?’ I said, ‘no’. He said ‘ok, then I guess we don’t have to worry about that’. He actually took me for my word. So, I joined that team. And I resisted their friendship at first. I even screwed up and almost got someone killed for my lack of trust on our first bust but they gave me a second chance. The seven of us, we make a great team. And I’ve gained six friends who are more family to me then anybody since Mike. I owe them my life in more ways then I can count,” Ezra breathed out and smiled once more at Karen. They sat for a few minutes just looking into one another’s eyes lost in some sort of heaven-made wonderment.

Suddenly the plane counsel beeped and the captain’s voice interrupted them. “Ladies and Gentlemen please buckle your seatbelts we’re heading in for a landing at Denver’s International Airport, we should be on the runway in ten minutes,” The buckle-up light above their heads blinked on.

Their connection broken Ezra and Karen sat back and buckled themselves in. They sat in silence as the plane tilted and jilted with descent. Then Karen spoke once more, “With the FBI you were in Atlanta, what are you doing here in Denver?”

“Well, that man who brought me into the ATF and saved my life, well his team was in Denver. Now I’m a part of the Denver ATF, team seven. What brings you to Denver?”

“I’m moving here, I’m here to look for a place to live, then I’m moving in,” Karen spoke with a smile.

“Moving here, for good?”

“Perhaps,” Karen said, hazel eyes twinkling, “I’m here for a new beginning, if I find one, I plan to stay.”

Ezra nodded to Karen. “I hope you do,” Ezra said under his breath, not intending Karen to hear, as he reached beneath the seat in front of him to grab his carry-on.

“You hope I find a new beginning or you hope I plan to stay in Denver,” Karen asked as Ezra looked up at her sheepishly before promptly blushing.

“Both,” He answered.

Karen Conrad sat back and smiled. She looked at him and said, “While I know your life story you never did mention your name…”

“Ezra Standish, at your service,” Ezra said with a dimpled smile that showed off his gold tooth beautifully.

“Good to know you, Ezra Standish,” Karen said holding out her had to him, for a handshake.

“Likewise, my dear lady,” Ezra spoke, but instead of shaking her hand, he took it, and brought it to his lips.

Karen laughed and Ezra smiled. They sat back as the plane landed perfectly on the runway.

The intercom came over their ears once more, “Ladies and Gentlemen, we’ve arrived at Denver International Airport, Local Time, 3:30, the weather outside is a bright and sunny 84. You picked a wonderful day to visit Denver. We thank you for traveling Metrojet and hope you’ve enjoyed your flight.”

Karen and Ezra stood wordlessly and gathered their things. They waited and entered the mad dash to exit the plane, neither in any real rush. Karen had ended up a few people in front of him and he lost her as he went to exit. He felt budding fear that he might lose her altogether. He shook it off as one of the stewardesses said, “I hope you’ve had an enjoyable flight, sir.”

“Madame,” Ezra stopped and addressed her honestly, a grin on his face, “You have no idea.”

Ezra ran down the connecting terminal and shouting, “Karen!”

~7~

Vin Tanner walking aimlessly among all the people trying to find Ezra’s terminal. He hated crowds, and this place was a madhouse. They made him claustrophobic and antsy. And at this moment if those two words didn’t describe him he didn’t know of any two that could. He guessed not even Ezra could come up with two words worthy to describe his current state. He glanced up at the billions of flight on-time arrival monitors and thanked God when Ezra’s flight was already landed, on time. “Now all I’ve got to do is find the stinkin’ terminal.”

Looking at another monitor he saw Ezra’s flight number and the terminal number A-36. Vin followed the numerous signs in what seemed to him like a mouse maze and finally reached the luggage area where those on Ezra’s flight were all herded to pick up their luggage. He looked around and didn’t see Ezra. Then he saw him race down the escalator. Shoving people like a crazy person and shouting Karen at the top of his lungs. Vin had never seen the gambler in such a state. Finally he got to the bottom of the escalator and ran over to an extremely average looking woman with kinda messy hair and something of an ungainly appearance. Vin watched as Ezra spoke to her for a moment.

~*~

“Karen!” Karen turned when she heard Ezra’s voice and saw the man hurtling toward her.

“What, Ezra?” She with a laugh as he reached her.

“Where are you headed right now?” Ezra asked with a huge smile, as he took deep breathes in an attempt to catch his breath.

“To get my luggage?” Karen said with a smile.

“No,” Ezra chided knowing she was just trying to get him riled, “After that.”

“Oh, after that,” She said with a wide smile and took a deep breath, “To try and find a hotel.”

Ezra took her hands and thought a moment, “Let me give you a ride?”

“Are you suggesting I get into the car of a strange man who divulged his entire life to me through a dream on an airplane?” She said with more then a little humor in his voice.

Ezra released her hands and had a look of pure dignity on his face when he said, “No, I’m not a strange man, I’m an officer of the law,” He said.

“Oh, well in that case, where’s your ride?”

“Ahh,” Ezra looked around and spotted Vin looking at him curiously, “It’s that rather scruffy gentleman over there.”

She shook her head and said with pure humor in his voice, “You ride him?”

“No, that’s absurd!”

All Karen could do was laugh. “Oh, Ezra…”

Ezra gave her a look of mischief before leaning forward and touching his lips to hers.

THE END?