JELLO Brother of the Month: (Not) the Atomic Playboy
(Not) the Atomic Playboy
I find it a bit ironic that the JELLO
Brother who first suggested that there
be a JELLO Brother of the Month to
rant about be the one we rant about!!
So, remember, we love ya, and this
is all in good fun, but, buddy, we're
gonna tear you a new hole! COLUMBO!!
Let the ranting commence!!!
Alrighty, here's how this'll go. Each person who wrote a rant about (Not) the Atomic Playboy is credited, and you can click on their name, and be taken down to their particulat rant. Enjoy!!
Just remember that this is all in fun. We certainly don't want anyone's feelings to get hurt. So if I go too far, I'm sorry. Enjoy!!!
Rant 1
Hello all,
Yes, it is time. A time for fun, a time for games, a time to make Dan cry. We all know he deserves it (I thought I REALLY did, but apparently not). So, me being the angriest of all of us, I figured I would start us off.
Dan, the little brother I never wanted. Dan is the interesting combination of Shaggy (from Scooby Doo), Monty Python (one or all of them, take your pick) and the late Napolean Bonaparte (a drunken night in Vegas can explain it all). They somehow created this child (I’m guessing Marlin Brando picked up some genetics info from the Island of Dr. Moreau) and then took turns peeing on it.
Well, that glob of genetic goo grew up, and became the one and only (thank god) Dan Comstock. Dan is a manic maniac with thoughts of megalomania (say that 5 times fast). "First Role playing... and then the world!" were his first words. Of course, he had to take the paint chips out of his mouth to say this. Where he got the idea that role playing somehow connected to World Domination, I'll never know. But he did.
One day, while playing with his sock in a basement outside Colorado, he discovered a group of wandering rats. "First, I shall follow these rats, for they shall be my minions, and then...the world!!!" This is how he found his way to Fairfield, CT. And those rats live in his hair to this day.
Dan's life has been not as interesting since then. This daily life consists of school, role-playing, feeding the rats, and filling jars with urine.
Rant 2
“I would rant about Dan, if I thought that he could hear me over his ego.”
Rant 3
He's made us laugh.
He's made us cry.
He's made us consume dairy products for reasons only Eris knows why.
He's they kind of guy you'll loan five bucks for no reason at all.
He's the kind of guy that will kick you in the neck one minute and wave a swedish tit monkey in your face the next.
He's the kind of guy that lonely televison network executives wish they could be.
That is why we Jello Brothers all love him.
Can't you see why?
Oh yeah, and poop, too.
Rant N
Well, folks. What can you say about a guy like (Not) the Atomic Playboy. Huh? Well, I don't know about you, but I can say plenty. These past three rants (or, shall I say, 2 rants and a quarter) seemed a bit harsh. But hey, who am I to argue with a running theme?
But before I start on my good friend, I think our other roasters have earned a shot or two:
--Jimmy the Wolf, a barroom hero: He is so opinionated that he won't even listen to both sides of a cassette. And, the only time he stops talking is to change feet.
--Moose: He couldn't really concentrate today. He couldn't find his teddy bear.
--Magic Piper of Love: All I can say is this: hehehe.
I may be returning to the classics of the roasting theme, and if I do, we probably feel the same way about it, so up yours too!!!
(Not) the Atomic Playboy and I have been friends for a long time now, and there are many reasons for that. The main reason: mostly, bad luck. No, seriously, we've always gotten along with each other in this way. He tells me how much he loves my jokes, and I tell him how much I love his stories. That's how we've remained friends for so long...lying to each other. But there's one thing I've always wondered...when he changes his mind, just what does he do with the diaper? It's true, he can be outspoken -- but I've never heard anyone do it.
But really, I want (Not) the Atomic Playboy to know that this was all in fun. A little roasting (or a lot in this case) let's us know that, hey, we're human, and not perfect. We love you, my friend, and I'm glad to have such a worthy selection to represent the spirit of the JELLO Brothers...
