Our Mission Statement
(as transscribed by Aggroman)

Who are we? What do we do? Why do we do it? Who do we do it with? What is this "it" I keep referring to? Who am I, anyway?

Calm down. I am Aggroman, Official Scribe of the JELLO Brothers. We are the JELLO Brothers, a big, small, secret, not-so-secret, secret brotherhood that has been in existence for hundreds of years. Or, in its current incarnation, existed for at least 2 years or so.

What we do is enjoy ourselves, damnit! Our purpose is to have fun. You get a fake name, you get to celebrate non-traditional holidays, there are commandments, and you feel a sense that you are not alone in the world. No matter how "weird" or "normal" you are, there are others like you. And we refuse to step on the white tiles.

We do it with whoever feels like joining. The one prevaling rule, above all others:

There are no rules.

This is a group of choice. You celebrate the holidays you choose to. You converse and attend activities with the JBs you choose. You choose your name. You choose what stuff is on your page. You choose which rules to follow. Choice is the key word. So is RBC. But we'll get to that later.

Now, here I present our original JELLO Brothers mission statement, first presented to the world in October of 1998:

We of the JELLO Brothers, being, depending upon which particular Brother you are referring to, of sound minds and bodies (some bodies more sound than others), come together for one specific reason: to save our collective sanity. In a world with so much depression, violence, and negativity, we came together to make each other laugh, for humor is the cure-all, the panacea, the opium--lithium--valium--wonder drug for contemporary society. The laughter and mood we create helps keeps us all safely grounded.

In order to further the concept of our “secret” brotherhood, each member is provided with a nickname. The member may choose their own or can ask an established member to choose one that is acceptable. Please, no profanity.

And, while we always refer to the JELLO Brothers as a Brotherhood, it is of course not a merely male society. While I could not give the exact percentage a few minutes ago, I just employed the magic of my laptop’s calculator, and can now give you the exact percentages of male members (if you giggled at that, grow up!) versus female members versus dual members versus individualized members. Here they are:

Male: 52.486%
Female: 44.751%
Dual: 1.105%
Individ: 1.657%
Male: 95 members
Female: 81 members
Dual: 2 memberships [The Two Musketeers and the Tonnika Twins]
Individ: 3 [The Immortal Bob, SLWP, and Snoopy's Girlfriend (or Sister)]
Total: 181 members

There are no rules.

If you have questions, comments, or anything else of that nature, feel free to e-mail me at kingofsuede@hotmail.com