JELLO Top Ten Lists!

Duh. Top ten lists written by the JELLO Brothers!!

Our top ten lists have come from the fertile minds of such JELLO Brothers as the Suedo One, (Not) the Atomic Playboy, Aggroman, and now, Bob, Lord of the Pants! Enjoy!

13.) The people in L.A. apparently like hi-top tabi boots, and offer to buy them off of you repeatedly.
12.) If it has boobs, it's not neccessarily female. If it has a face like a man, it more then likely is.
11.) If a guy walks up to you and says "Man, you are one fine, ass, bitch", he is NOT making obvious comments about your looks.
10.) It is not polite to interrupt people while they are talking to themselves.
9.) PAMPHLETS BAD! BAD HANDOUTS BAD!!!!!
8.) After setting foot in LA, it takes 4 seconds before you are asked if you can spare some change.
7.) After setting foot in LA, it takes 10 seconds before you are asked if you are selling any drugs.
6.) After setting foot in LA, it takes 11 seconds before you realize you were just seen as the type that sells cocaine.
5.) After setting foot in LA, it takes 26 seconds before you are asked if you wanna buy any drugs.
4.) After setting foot in LA, it takes 32 seconds to be asked by an L.A.P.D. officer if anybody has asked to sell you drugs.
3.) After setting foot in LA, it takes 33 seconds to point in the direction of the crack-head selling drugs.
2.) It takes an L.A.P.D. officer 20 seconds to run down a crack-head.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING I LEARNED WHILE IN LA!!!!!
1.) The ghetto version of the 7-11! 6-10! (It's true. We have pictures.)

12.) "How goes it?" "It continues."
11.) Snurp.
10.) I owe you a Coke.
9.) Carpe Diem (oops, no wait, that's Dead Poets Society)
8.) The Beatdown Corner.
7.) Hey Guido!
6.) Check out my butt.
5.) Ooooo...Do you wanna get freaky with me?
4.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
3.) Columbo!
2.) RBC!
and the number one JELLO Brothers inside joke or obscure reference is:
1.) Aggroman is an alien. (This one is so inside, Aggroman doesn't even know what the hell is going on!)

10) Is that a midget flying over the horizon?
9) I didn't know "giving first aid to an unconscious Don Bensey" was an event this year...
8) It's a new record! The cops showed up before the third event!
7) Oh no! The canadian geese are attacking Soda Wench!(and me without my camera)
6) Who needs water in Kool Aide anyway?
5) Our Power-Tic-Tac-Toe team is going to clean up this year-- I hid landmines on the field and only I know where they are!
4) Who could have guessed that 1.3 million people would show up today and throw stuff at us?
3) Okay, who let the Rhesus monkey loose?
2) The picketers and protesters demand Kool-Aid.
And the number one phrase overheard at the JELLO Brothers Olympics 2000 is....
1) I heard they booked N'Sync for the halftime show! Yeah, the beat-down corner is getting warmed up right now!

10) Combine Power Tic-Tac-Toe and Stick Fighting to create Power-Blinfolded-Stick Fighting! Three headshots in a row wins!
9) Combine Deadly Musical Chairs, Dirty Dozens, Spitting for Distance, and Stick Fighting... the most violent, ugly event of the year.
8) Replace the Kool Aide powder with crack
7) New event: Clean Kama Sutra's basement
6) This year's first place champion gets to beat up the beat-down corner
5) New event: standing in the middle of traffic
4) Step in goose poop, we throw you into the pond.
3) New event: urinating in public
2) Replace the traditional "sleep over Kama Sutra's house the night before the olympics" with "have a kegger the night before the olympics"
1) Two words: Square Dancing

Top Ten things someone might say if the Suedo One showed up at their door.

• 10.) I didn't think my sponsered child was supposed to live with me dam your
• black Heart Sally Struthers bombsagoogla!!!
• 9.) Now I've seen everything
• 8.) Honey get the poloroid camera! Micheal Jackson came to town
• 7.) So you failed the pepsi challenge? Smooth moves, professor Dumbass
• 6.) Can't you people take a hint I won't switch to mci?
• 5.) Go away I already payed my electric bill
• 4.) So how about this heat? (dead of winter)
• 3.) Honey hide the china
• 2.) We didn't order any cookies this year little girl
• 1.) What the hell is this? I ordered a pizza.

Top Eleven Rejected JELLO Brothers Nicknames

• 11.) The Butt Cheeze-Whizzard
• 10.) The Last of the JELLO Brothers
• 9.) Klu-Klux-Karl
• 8.) Al Stroker
• 7.) Dances with Soda Wench
• 6.) I Kill Dogs
• 5.) NADS, The Boy with Two Testicles
• 4.) NAD, The Boy with One Testicle
• 3.) Man-Girl, the Boy with No Testicles
• 2.) Girl-Man, the Girl with NADS
• 1.) Man-Man, the Boy With Four Testicles