"One...two...three...four...That's it! That's it! You got it! You got it!" Fatima shouted, as Chris and the Backstreet Boys danced to Larger than Life. Brian picked Chris up and tossed her to AJ, who caught her. As she continued to dance, Chris looked over her shoulder and smiled.

AJ returned it quickly, going straight into the next move. He was entirely focused on his work, and paid no heed to Chris, except when he danced around her and was overcome with the scent of vanilla. Chris had finished her bottle of Chanel the day before and was now wearing Vanilla Fields. It was driving him crazy; he loved it.

"...And that makes you larger than li-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ife." AJ sang finishing the song. Fatima ran over to Chris, clapping wildly.

"Perfect! Perfect! That was absolutely wonderful!" She put her arms around Chris. "B-Rok, why didn't you tell me you had such a talented cousin?"
Brian smiled, wiping his face on his shirt sleeve. "Because I didn't know she could do that."

"Gee, thanks Bri." Chris said. "It's nice to know how well you know me." He made a face and she stuck her tongue out.

"Enough you two." Kevin cut in. "Why do you always pick on each other?"

Brian put his arm around Chris. "Because we love each other, don't we 'Riss?"

"Yeah yeah yeah. I guess." Chris mumbled. Then she looked up and smiled, rolling her eyes. Everyone laughed.

"Seriously, though. Chris, dear, you were excellent." Fatima said. "I can't wait to work with you on tour."

"Thanks, Fatima. That means a lot." Chris removed Brian's arm from around her shoulder. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to shower and get ready for work. If we're done, that is."

"Sure. We've been working all morning. You deserve a break." Kevin said. "While you go, though, the rest of us will take a short break and then get back to rehearsing."

"Aw, man, Kev. Do we have to?" Nick groaned. "I mean, it's like lunchtime and I have this incredible urge for McDonald's."

"Yeah, me too," said AJ. "I haven't had my number six in about two weeks." He stopped, pretending to count on his fingers. "Yeah, two weeks. That's about right."

Chris laughed. "Well, if you feel like waiting about twenty minutes or so, I don't have to be to work until two. We could all go out if you wanted."

Nick opened his mouth to speak, but Kevin cut him off. "I don't think we should be taking outings right now, Chris. Thanks for the offer, but we really should get back to work."

"Well, then maybe I should stay and rehearse, too. If I'm going to be on stage with you guys." Chris said. "Work can wait. I'll just tell them I can't come in--"

"No, Chris," Brian interrupted. "You have responsibilities that have lasted longer than this one that just came out of the blue. Go to work."

"Bri, I won't. It's just at the hospital snack bar. It's no big deal."

Howie came over and pushed AJ lightly on the shoulder. AJ turned around and pushed him back. "Hey!" They laughed.

"Chris, you look awful to begin with. Don't make any irrational decisions. Why don't you go shower and stuff, go to work, and give them the two-week notice. You can rehearse part-time, and once it gets closer to tour time, you can go full speed." Brian said gently, trying to convince her.

"Oh, so now I look awful, too?" Chris joked. But on the inside she was hurt. Why didn't he want her to continue? She felt she was doing a good job; Fatima had even said so. Why was he trying to get her out of the way?
"I didn't say that. I just meant that you should probably take a break."

"Oh, and going to work is taking a break? Ha ha. Very funny." Chris pulled away and walked to the open door of the garage. "I'll see you later tonight, then." And with that, she went into the house, closing the door behind her. The guys heard her walking across the floor and run up the stairs.
Howie sighed. "Here we go again. What was it about this time, 'Rok?"
Brian shrugged. "I have no idea, D. She's been really emotional lately."

"You don't think it's that...you know. What girls are always complaining about?" Nick asked nervously. AJ laughed.

"Well, Nicky. Why don't you go upstairs and ask her? Unless you're afraid you'll get your head chopped off?"

"Funny, Bone. Very funny." Nick glared at him. AJ reached over and ruffled his hair.

"Aw, don't get mad, Nick. You know we still love ya." said Kevin. "But I am getting really concerned about Chris. She hadn't been herself before the last tour, either."

Fatima looked at her watch. "Tell you what guys. Why don't you get your heads off of Chris for a while and get back to work? I'm sure if there was something bothering her, she'd tell one of you."

Brian and Kevin nodded. "That's true," said Brian. "She used to give her opinion on--"

"--everything." Kevin laughed. "She never shut up. Do you remember the time when Kat came over to borrow one of her dresses or something for a party and when she tried it on and came down the stairs, Chris said that she looked like she had been rolling in a vat of purple oatmeal with a wild boar?"
AJ burst out laughing. "Did she really? That's too rich."

Brian nodded. He put his hands on his hips and shook his head around as if to get his hair out of his face. "Oh, my goodness, Kat. I cannot believe you'd wear something like that. It makes you look like you've been playing in oatmeal," he said, mimicking Chris. The guys began to laugh uncontrollably.
"And the funny thing was," Kevin said in between laughs," is that it was her dress!"

When AJ finally caught his breath, he said, "Where was I? When did this happen? I think I would have remembered something like that." Howie looked at him and shrugged.
"Maybe you were still with Amanda. It was a year or so ago."

Before AJ could respond, Fatima clapped her hands together sharply, causing the guys to look at her, startled. She shook her head, smiling.
"It seems to be that I have lost your attention. Go on. We can be done for the day."

"YIPPEE!!!" cried Nick. "Now I can go to McDonald's!" He raced out of the garage without so much as a parting glance. AJ rolled his eyes. Nick could be so immature sometimes, but was always good for a laugh. And was so easy to pick on, too.

"I think I'm going to head back to Em's place," said Brian, stretching. "Since we got done early, I'm going to see if I can spend some quality time with her, if you know what I mean."
"Ugh! Must you be so graphic, 'Rok?" said Howie. "Some of us don't have to know all that."
"I wasn't being graphic. I was stating a fact."

Howie shrugged. "Whatever you say. I'm going home to sleep. By myself," he added, giving Brian a look. Walking to the door, he waved without turning. "See you guys later."
"Tomorrow!" yelled Kevin.

"Yeah yeah," Howie yelled back. A few minutes later, AJ, Kevin, and Fatima heard two cars start and pull out of the driveway. Fatima looked at her watch.

"I hate to think that we only spent four hours on these moves." she said, looking at her watch. "I hope we're more productive tomorrow."
"Well, sometimes things get a little out of hand." Kevin apologized. "I'm sorry."

Fatima smiled. "Don't be. It's only been a week since the tour ended. We still have time. The next one doesn't start until August. We'll just get back into the groove tomorrow."

"Sounds good," said AJ. "I'm ready and rarin' to rehearse." He stopped when he heard Kevin chuckle.

"You are always ready to perform. If we didn't have these breaks, you'd still be out on stage entertaining the audience."
"Who would probably still be there," AJ finished. "But it's true, you know."
"Yeah, Bone. We all know," said Fatima, walking to the door. "I'll see you guys tomorrow bright and early."
"Bye!" chorused Kevin and AJ, waving. Moments later, her car started and then all was silent.
"Whew! What a morning." said AJ, yawning. "She really pushed us hard."

Kevin nodded. "I know. But I'm glad that she liked Chris. I think she did good, don't you?"

They had just walked through the door and into the kitchen. The sounds of running water, a stereo, and Chris singing echoed through the house. AJ stopped to listen, although it was hard to hear over the water. Her voice was difficult to describe. It was beautiful, captivating, enticing, sensual...
"Bone! Wake up!" Kevin snapped his fingers. AJ snapped back to earth.
"What?"

"I asked you if you had any plans for the afternoon and if you didn't did you want to help me get stuff ready for Chris's birthday party next week." Kevin said, opening the refrigerator and looking inside. "Want anything to drink?"
AJ nodded. "Got any Coke? And sure, I'll help out."
"Thanks, Bone." Kevin handed him the can of soda."
No problem." AJ opened the can and gulped it down. "Ahh."
Kevin smirked. "You are too much, Bone. Too much."
Nodding, AJ held up the can in a salute. "I am the master."
"Ha! Yeah right. Anyway," Kevin continued, "Chris's birthday is next Friday. She's going to be nineteen."
"Only nineteen?" AJ said, shocked. She looks so much older.
"Yes, I know that. I think it runs in the family."
Oops, thought AJ. "Did I say that out loud?"

Kevin nodded. "But don't worry. Brian and I are trying to introduce Chris to other people. You know, try to get her involved with someone. She's been alone too much."
"What do you mean?" AJ asked.

"Well," Kevin said. "We leave her alone a lot when we go on tour and out to rehearsal and stuff. We've never taken her with us because she was too young, and since Brian and I are her guardians per ce, we told her that she had to stay and finish school. I feel really bad, though, since we were in Europe when she had her graduation."
"Yikes," AJ said. "Didn't you know when the date was?"

Kevin shook his head. "She never told me or Brian. I think either she forgot and got too wrapped up in the event, or she just thought that it wasn't important enough to bother us. Chris is like that. She doesn't want to make anyone angry or upset, and it pains her greatly when she can't do something for someone and she hurts them somehow. Very caring and sensitive."
"Hmm. Did you ever tell her that she could call anytime at all if she needed you?"
"Yeah. Hundreds of times. But she never called. Ever."

AJ was in disbelief. "How could she not want to talk to you guys? You practically raised her."

Kevin shrugged. "I don't know. I guess she didn't want us to miss our tours or anything. Or maybe it was resentment. We've never asked her, and really don't want to. Like Fatima said, if there is a problem, she'll let either Brian or me know."
"Are you positive about that?"
"No." Kevin looked up toward the stairs. "I'm not sure about anything."

Chris let the hot water beat down on her back. She was a little sore from the four hours of rehearsal, and now she had to get ready for work.

"Ugh! I hate working in the hospital. I hate seeing all those people who are visiting friends or relatives who are sick and sometimes dying." She reached for the shampoo and poured some in her hair.

"It hurts me so much to know what's going on in there and not being able to do anything about it. Why oh why do I do this to myself?" she moaned as she vigorously soaped up her hair and then rinsed. Opening the shower curtain, Chris wrapped herself in her towel and stepped out onto the foot towel. Looking in the mirror, she saw what Brian meant when he had said that she wasn't looking well. Her face was pale despite the hot water, and very thin. Chris let her eyes look down the mirror at herself and she saw how her bones stuck out, she saw the bruises. And she felt so tired and weak; all she wanted to do was sleep.

"But I can't. I have responsibilities," she muttered to herself as she began to dry off. "I have work to do, and rehearsing to do. I'm going to be very busy, and nothing's going to be big or bad enough to stop me."

Standing up quickly, Chris groped for something to support herself because of the wave of dizziness that suddenly appeared. After a few seconds it passed, like it always had, and she opened the bathroom door a crack and looked into her bedroom.

Satisfied that no one was in there, because somehow that AJ has gotten in here before, Chris hung up her towel in the bathroom and walked naked across her room to the closet. Pushing aside the beaded curtain, she got out her white uniform and white shoes and began to get dressed.

It was too silent in the room, so Chris scanned the room for her stereo remote control. It wasn't in its place, and Chris wasn't about to waste the time to look for it. It had been too long a shower and she had an hour's drive ahead of her to get to the hospital.

"Yikes! And I still have to do my hair!" she said, hurriedly reaching for her brush and a pony-tail holder. Pulling her hair back into a pony-tail, which made her look sixteen instead of almost nineteen, Chris glanced into her full-length mirror, and stopped.

Standing in front of Chris was a woman, a young woman. An abnormally thin, pale, sickly looking woman, yet still a beautiful woman. A woman with a smile that could melt the coldest of hearts. A woman with eyes so big, round, dark, and searching, they could see down into the depths of the soul. A woman with hair as dark as, Hershey's dark chocolate bar. Or espresso, Chris thought, smiling slightly. On the outside, this woman looked to have no worries, no problems. Always cheerful, always pleasing others.

But on the inside, there was a young child. A child full of the fear of loneliness, of losing a loved one, of being lost, of not being loved. A child who doesn't know where to turn, or who to turn to. A child longing for her mother's touch, for her father's encouragement, for comfort, for love. A child thrown into the adult world, not knowing what to expect, not knowing how to take care of herself. A child faced with a future full of pain.

Chris shook her head to rid herself of the image. The woman in the mirror disappeared as Chris walked out of the bedroom and down the stairs. She heard voices coming from the living room, but she didn't stop to see who it was. She was running late.

"Hey! I'm leaving. I'll be back after eleven." She shouted as she trotted out to her Volvo. Opening the door, Chris slid behind the wheel and started the car. She looked up at the house and saw Kevin at the window. He waved. Chris nodded in return, honked the horn, then pulled out of the driveway.
"Where's she going again?" asked AJ, coming up behind Kevin.
"To work, I guess. She works at a hospital an hour away."
"Ew!"AJ wrinkled his nose."What does she do?"
Kevin shrugged. " I really don't know. Snack bar or something."
"She left rehearsal for that ?" AJ said, amused. "Why?"

Kevin turned around to look at him. "Why what? Why does she work there?" AJ nodded. "I dunno. I guess because she wanted to. Why do we do what we do?"

"Ahh," said AJ, pointing his finger like a gun. "Gotcha. Now what about her birthday?"

Kevin started to walk up the stairs, calling down as he ascended. "Obviously we'll have to have a party, not as big of one as we had for your eighteenth, but.."

"Why not? She'll be nineteen, she's your cousin, and I think she'll enjoy it."

Kevin smiled. "You might, but I don't think she would. Chris kinda enjoys just family and a few friends. You know, sitting around talking and watching movies, or doing something extremely athletic. She's very active." He stopped, noting a mischevious glimmer appear in AJ's eyes.

"Don't even think about it," Kevin warned. "I'm taking care of Chris, and I don't want you to try it. Besides, she's too young."

"C'mon, Train," AJ retorted. "I wasn't thinking about doing the wild thing with your cousin. And just for the sake of argument, haven't you ever watched or read the news? People are having sex younger and younger each week, and you say nineteen is too young? Geez, you really are an old man."

"Give it up, Bone," said Kevin, giving AJ a gentle push. "Please just do this one thing. For me, if for no one else. I don't want Chris to get hurt."
AJ gave Kevin a sideways glance. "And what if, by chance, mind you, she decides to?"

Kevin looked at him sternly, shaking his head. "Then that's her decision. I just don't want you to be assisting in the decision process. Now let's drop the subject and get planning. Next Friday will be here before you know it."

Chris pulled into the parking lot of Orlando General Hospital at exactly 1:59. She hurriedly turned off the car, got out, locked the door, and ran to the employee entrance, her pony tail bouncing. She clocked in at 2:02, smiled a quick "hello" to the nurse at the main desk and continued on toward the snack bar. Kat was tapping her foot impatiently when Chris came behind the counter.
"Where've you been, Ms. Punctuality?"Kat said, as Chris fumbled with the strings of the apron.
"Rehearsing. Have you been waiting long?"

Kat sighed. "Just the longest two minutes of my life. Here, let me help you," she said, putting her hands on Chris's shoulders to turn her around so Kat could tie the strings. "Whew girl! You been losing weight?"

Chris turned around. "Not by choice. I haven't been feeling well lately, and the thought of food makes me want to hurl."

"Well, you picked the best place to work, didn't you? Kat said. "Do you want me to stay with you in case you get sick?"
"Uh, well, I'm not sure, exactly. You know how I hate asking for help."
"Yeah, but at least take a few more minutes to go get checked out."

Lifting fearful eyes to Kat, Chris said, "I'm not feeling that bad. And besides, it's Sunday. There's nobody here, patients or doctors."

Kat put her hands on Chris's shoulders, looking her straight in the eyes. "Look. Do this for me. I've noticed that you haven't been yourself lately. You've gotten thin, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but you're constantly pale, and I can even feel your bony shoulders. Please go do this for me."
"But I..."Chris started to say, but Kat cut her off.

"I'll be fine. Like you said, it's Sunday afternoon. Nothing's going to happen where a rush of people come in unless it's some sort of party. Go."

Chris shook her head emphatically. "No. Not now. I'll go tomorrow, or even later when the night doc comes in. But I'm not leaving now that I've just gotten here."
"Do you promiseto go when the night doctor comes in? I've been worrying about you." Kat said.
"Worrying about who?" asked a familiar voice. It was Mae, the supervisor.
Chris blushed. "About me. How ya doin' Mae?"
Mae smiled. "Just fine Chris, how about you?"
"Ah, not too well. And there's something I need to tell you."
"What's that?"
"Yeah, what is that?" echoed Kat. Chris gave her a look.

"Well," Chris began, "I have been recruited to go on tour with my cousins, and I have to go to mandatory rehearsals. Long and grueling, mind you. I just finished my first one today. Anyway," Chris took a deep breath. "Since these are going to be taking up all of my time, I'm afraid that I cannot continue to work here." She looked at Mae. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, dear. I'm proud of you." Mae reached out and gave Chris a hug. "You've been a joy to work with. And since I like you so much, you don't need to wait a week to leave. Yesterday can be your last day."

Kat was looking at Chris with a dropped jaw. "You get to dance with the Backstreet Boys?" Chris nodded slightly, a small smile forming at her mouth.

"Yes," she whispered. Kat shrieked.

"That's so great! I'm so proud of you!" She pulled Chris out of Mae's arms and squeezed her tightly. Chris made an exaggerated choking sound to insinuate loss of air. Kat let go. After a few moments, Chris was able to speak again, and she looked back at Mae, who was smiling broadly.
"Are you serious, Mae? I would hate to break the rules."

"Sweetie, you've never broken the rules in your life. Now go on and get out of here. Make some music with your boys."

"Thank you, Mae." Chris said. When Mae turned her back to go into the kitchen, Chris untied her apron strings and brought it over her head. Kat was still looking at her with a shocked, but proud, look on her face.

"Looks like we both get to go, now," Chris said, trying to make small talk.

"You know, Chris, you don't need to be ashamed or embarrassed when you do something great. No one's going to be jealous of you, because you don't flaunt it or brag. And that's what makes you so well-liked."

"Thank you, Kat. That means a lot. But now," she said, walking toward her locker, Kat following behind, "I think I'm going to go home and go to bed. I'm so exhausted."

"Yeah, sounds like a good idea. I think I'll head home too. After I catch a flick and a fast meal with Mark. Wanna come?" Kat offered. "No, thanks. I think I am seriously going to go to bed. I'll talk to you later, okay?" "Okay."

Chris left the hospital that afternoon in a state of confused joy with a side of disbelief. It was unreal to her how she had been so lucky these past couple of days. So lucky and happy, in fact, that she sensed there was something more to come. But as she started her car to go back home, Chris decided to let fate take its course. She wasn't about to devote herself to worrying about the future when she had other important things to take care of. Pulling out of the hospital parking lot for what she thought would be the last time, all Chris could think about was sleeping in her own bed, and the promise she had made to Kat became forgotten.