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10 Reasons

Inspired by some of our lesser rivals we here at the fanzine have constructed a page dedicated to proving that Cheltenham is better than the four main surrounding teams/places (Gloucester, Hereford, Oxford, Swindon). If you have any points to add to these lists then please mail me. If you would like to know some of the reasons why we dislike these teams then please visit the rivals page of this site.

Gl**c*ster C*ty

  1. Gloucester folk make Malcolm Shotton sound intelligent!
  2. Gloucester City play in the Doc Martens Premier were in Nationwide Division Three!
  3. Gloucester is in a state of economical decline!
  4. It has no nightlife!
  5. It has sh*t shopping!
  6. They all follow rugby!
  7. Cheltenham is bigger and has a larger population!
  8. Sunkmeadow is where we send our rejects (Ryan Gannaway, ha, ha, ha)!
  9. There going bust, after an incompetent chairman spent far to much trying to stop us getting promoted!
  10. The College of Higher Education is in Cheltenham proving that we are intelluctually smarter!

H*r*ford United

  1. Its in Wales (Enough said)!
  2. The local custom is to shag sheep!
  3. Its a third of the size of Cheltenham!
  4. Its in the middle of nowhere!
  5. We steel all their good players for low prices (Walker, Grayson etc.)!
  6. Graham Turner is an incompetent w*nk*r! (See 5.)
  7. Edgar Street is full of rust!
  8. Their going bust! (See 6.)
  9. They needed one of our ex-players to knock Newcastle out of the cup (Ronnie Radford)!
  10. They have a pet bull that sh*ts on the pitch for goodluck before each game!

Sw*nd*n Town

  1. Its full of roundabouts, that keep the locals bemused for years!
  2. SC rejected their managers job!
  3. Jimmy Quinn is incompetent!
  4. They have the worst ever record in the Premiership!
  5. They were managed by Glenn Hoddle!
  6. Their 5 million in debt! (See 3 & 7.)
  7. One of their chairman is a Jockey!
  8. There star player is called Iffy!
  9. They spend 500k on a player then sell him for 20k! (See 3.)
  10. There going bust! (See 6, 7, & 9.)

Oxturd United

  1. Its full of antique shops!
  2. There ground is only half built!
  3. Malcolm Shotton sounds like a retard! (See 4.)
  4. Malcolm Shotton is a retard!
  5. They failed to nick SC and landed up with a retard (See 4.)
  6. Its the gay capital of the region
  7. Its much more expensive to live than anywhere else in the region
  8. There 13 million in debt!
  9. There going bust! (See 8.)
  10. Whaddon Road has more seats than the Manor!

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