To most people, G.G Allin was nothing more than a disgusting flash-in the-pan. The most whacked-out poo-flinging, self-debasing and wretched man to ever grace a stage. Sure, he would defecate on stage, and either eat it or throw it on his fans. Sure, he often ended-up soaked in his own blood and getting arrested. And yes, he even shoved a banana up his butt in front of God and everyone. What most people DON'T know is that G.G. Allin was probably the most influencial figure of Western Civilisation. He was as timeless as he was repulsive, as benevolant as he was disturbing. He was a maverick, an outlaw, a felon in fourteen states, a dreamer, a visionary, an artist, a poet, misogynistic, fecal-obessed, entertainer. And were it not for this great man, the so-called "civilised world" as we understand it would have never existed.
In fact, G.G. Allin was the FIRST Christian Roman Emporer. See pic below. A picture doesn't lie. It CANNOT lie! It only conveys the obvious truth.
Roman Emperor GG Allinus Ceasar Constantine Agrippa (AD 63-110)
Other little known facts about G.G. Allin:
GG's real name was "Jesus Christ Allin" and "GG" came about because he had trouble saying "Jesus" as a child
GG got his kicks on Route 66
GG co-founded the Black Panther Party, the Latin Kings, the Crips, the Bloods and the Weather Underground
GG liberated South Africa from Apartheid
GG came up with the idea of "Scrabble" and "Monopoly" while high on gasoline and Flintstones vitamins (he only ate Wilmas)
GG stole the material from a gay theatre troop so Betsy Ross could make our American Flag
GG was responsible for the invention of the internal combustion engine
GG was Winston Churchill's personal advisor during both WWI and WWII
GG not only established the international slave trade, he also single-handedly abolished it as well
GG assassinated Rasputin (and kept ressurecting him)
GG played middle linebacker for the NY Jets in Super Bowl I
GG won the admiration of the entire world by discovering Nova Scotia
GG invented the game "Dungeons and Dragons" (Gary Gyax... "GG")
GG came up with the process of fermentation for alcoholic beverages
GG was the Gunman on the Grassy Knoll
GG was always "Livin' La Vida Loca"
GG founded M.A.D.D.
GG taught Elvis how to play guitar
GG told Benjamin Franklin to "Go fly a fuckin' kite"... and Ben DID! (GG gave us electrcity!)
GG fought with Sitting Bull at the Battle of Little Big Horn and flung his poo on Custer's corpse
GG discovered trees were made of wood
GG discovered animals were in fact made of meat
GG presided over the Council of Nicosea
GG was one of the signatories of the US Declaration of Independence
GG was a four star general in both the Union and Confereate Armies (he changed sides three times and still wound up on the loosing side)
GG was the inspiration for T.S.Eliot's "The Wasteland"
GG was the first human to swim across the English Channel
GG only bathed eleven times in his entire life (with actual soap and water)
GG was the mastermind behind not only the Manhattan Project, but alternating current as well (Tesla ripped him off, but GG lost that legal battle due to a paperwork error)
GG inspired the Amber Alert
GG egged on Adam to "Eat that fuckin' apple! Ya pussy!"
GG led the Third Crusade
GG founded Islam (he called himself "Mo-hommad"... he actually was asking for "more hummas" and some fool thought he was stating his name)
GG invented Windows 3.1
GG told Freud "Yer fucked up! You wanna fuck yer mom! You sick bastard!"
GG demanded Karl Marx write "The Communist Manifesto"... then called him a "smelly douchebag"
GG was the first person to smell a fart...and LIKE IT!
GG invented the first vomit-powered mini-van
GG is credited with inventing heavy-metal music
GG actally turned lead into gold three times... so he could buy malt liquor (which he also invented)
GG was the first Branch Davidian (and never forgave David Koresh for "loosin' them fuckin' guns and all that tight ass"
GG gave us instant coffee
GG founded the American Republican Party (he thought "Hey, I live in a republic and we outta have a fuckin' party!")
GG cared about amimals and children deeply; so he co-founded the NAFCSA (National Association For Children Shagging Animals)... later to become NAMBLA, which he then sued Alan Ginsberg (and won $3,000)
GG thought Britney Spears was "a talentless nasty piece of trailer ass" and claimed he "wouldn't do her with a cat's cock"...she later gave birth to his first daughter, Amnesia
GG was the first person to drink iced tea from a mason jar
GG had a brief cameo in Star Wars, he was the guy in the cantia that Ben Kenobi scrapped with and cut off his hand. GG never forgave Ben for this act and until his dying day vowed revenge
GG could smell "easy ass" in any junior high in the US
GG was the primary founder of the Illuminati, the Knights Templar , Freemasonry and the European banking system
GG possessed not only x-ray vision, but was a Filipino faith healer who tried to cure Andy Kaufman
GG read 1,048,557 books in his lifetime... none were written in the English language
GG planted the stains on Monica Lewenski's dress (he also pooped on her for $16.00)
GG invented the bikini (it was orginally meant to be worn by elderly men)
GG was once CEO of the DeBeers Corporation
GG once filled a quart bottle with his own semen, it took four days of constant masterbation.... DNA evidence later confirmed he was not "entirely human")
GG was the Father of Architecture worldwide
GG gave God the idea of cable television
GG actually penned the words to "I am Woman, Hear me Roar" (orginally entitled "I am Bitch, Hear Me Whine")
GG invented the internet... NOT Al Gore
GG talked Al Gore into not only rooming with Tommy Lee Jones in college, but also talked him into going to Vietnam.... neither of which got Al killed as GG had hoped
GG is not only Bill Clinton's biological father and brother, but George Bush Sr.'s as well
GG gave the world Crayola crayons ... and came up with the name "crayon" while attempting to describe glass-blowing to a thrid-grade class in Des Moines, Iowa
GG discovered the color purple
GG invented plastic
GG belived PETA was another "fag conspiracy" and repeatedly wore fur and ate meat just to spite them
Amazingly enough, even the uptight French have embraced his artisrty and his drawing, The Hunter enjoyed a stint in the prestigous Louvre
The Facts DO NOT LIE. GG Allin is the pillar upon which Western Civilastion is built. I implore each and every thinking, aware and concerned man woman and child to spread the word that without this great man we would all still be living in the Dark Ages.
GG Allin's Offical Site
Eyewitness to the Funeral of GG Allin
You are sicko number
to visit this site.
Check-out the petition to GG Allin on a US Postage Stamp
Click Here
All photos of GG Allin are property of and stolen from GGAllin.com and were used without permission. Because he woulda wanted it that way.
