Remember how we were best friends? You know, when we were little. That's right, remember? We weren't only best friends because we were sisters. We were best friends because back then, nobody understood either one of us, except for each other. We were both lost souls, except when we were together. It was always Natalie and Jessica. Never apart. Never fighting. Who would have thought that sisters didn't fight? We didn't. Remember playing the Ouiji board on the picnic table our parents let us paint in our front yard? Remember how I wouldn't play without my Rainbow Brite doll? You wouldn't without your troll. We'd watch Rocky Horror Picture show, Silence of the Lambs and Dances With Wolves -- only because we weren't allowed to. We never understood anything, we just liked singing along with Rocky Horror, we liked pretending we were scared in Silence of the Lambs (although we didn't know what was going on), and we only like Dances with Wolves because he said "I just pissed in my pants and there's nothing anybody can do about it". Remember making video tapes with my dad's hokey video camera, you were the talk show host with the rainbow colored clown hair wig, I was the girl with the grey wig and an acoustic guitar with four strings that you interviewed. Remember, we used to sing into Mister Microphone while the video camera was recording us -- we made our own music videos. "I Think We're Alone Now", "Teenager In Love", "Step By Step". Those were our songs. We'd dance like we saw the people on MTV dancing. It never looked right coming from a five and eight year old. Don't you remember Mister Microphone?

No, why would you?

We were so inseperable. Both of us, we were always by each others side. You were my role model, my idol. My best friend. You were everything I wanted to be.

That was then. This is now.

We can't be in the same room for more than ten minutes without you throwing something at me, throwing me down the stairs, or trying to wring my neck. We don't talk for more than a few seconds at a time. Small talk, mostly. Anything beyond that, I get called a fucking cunt who wastes your time. You say you don't want to talk to me. You say you hate talking to me. I waste. Your time. We live in the same house, our rooms are only foot steps away. If our rooms got any closer, they'd be connecting. We go months without talking. Because you. Don't want to talk to me.

I can't stand the person you've become. I looked up to you. And now you've wasted your life, our friendship, our family - on drugs. I'll never be able to say I respect you. I have lost every ounce of respect I've ever had for you. I can't even look you in the eyes anymore. You're a constant reminder of how you've let me down as a sister.

As a best friend.

You'll always be my sister, but I'm not proud to admit it. I'll never be able to hug you, or brag that you're my best friend. That's all gone now. You've let me down. I feel nothing towards you. That is so sad. You are so sad.

You'll always be my sister.

But you'll NEVER be my best friend.

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