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 Poetry
I wrote all the poem
 Manic-Heart
I can't make it tomorrow
With all this sorrow
I'm so sad in tears
And it happened all these years
It won't go away
When I try to stray
What did I do wrong?
TO feel all these feelings too strong?
I'm not normal
Maybe all of this is just an evil hormone
I can't run
I can't have fun
Everyday
It sits and stays
Stressing my heart
That is falling apart
I want to feel alive
But all I feel is deprived
Sick Girl 6/24/2002
 Dreams that Scream
My dreams are silent but loud
There is a frantic crowd
And the sky is red
"It's the end of the world," someone said.
All alone in my dark room
Holding a broom
Looking for a light
Want it bright
Looking for a comforting face
To get me out of this maze
And is shakes
With snakes
Wild wind, rain and hail
I feel frail
I can't find you near
Can you hear
My dying screams
In my dreams?
4/17/02 I entered this poem "Dreams that Scream" at poetry.com and received a letter from them.. They said that this poem will be published in a book called Letters from the Soul out in Fall 2002. This poem made it in the semi-finalist and will be entered into the final competition held in July 2002.
 feeling...........strange
In ,,,a RAGE
deprive........and suppressed
I'm *****feeling *** undressed
from my ~~~~~~life
I took a ^^^^^KNIFE
and felt my <3 heart
BRoken ++++++ it felt
i kneeled down =
WITH Tears....and a frown....(
I prayed to GOD
with a loud.........................sob
to take this.....PAIN
********OUT OF MY BRAIN ****
 i panic
when i feel manic
i pull out my hair
when i start to stare
deep strange thought
circle and tie with knots
i start to cry
when i feel like i want to die
i start to laugh
when i count the things i don't have
then i close my eyes shut
and i start to cut
all the loose ends
so my heart can heat and mend
 I will make you wet.
I will leave scars.
I will burn.
I will scratch.
I will make you itch.
I will demand.
I will be in charge.
I will beat.
I will pull.
I will make more.
I will hate.
I will make you sick.
 overwhelmed with grief
who was the thief
who stold my heart
and tore it apart
i feel too much
when i don't feel your touch
why do you stay dry
when i start to cry
 pic by Sick Girl
Untitled
By Sick Girl
I smelled him near. I crawled against him and threw
him along a pole. I did not wait for a second to pass me by. I wanted to explore his body first. I tied him against the old, dirty light pole. Blind folded and demanded that he'd be mine. I ripped his clothes open and felt his shivering hot body. I began to kneel slowly as if I was to sacrifice this body. Was I? My body ached and my chest swelled up. My eyes turned violent. I licked his lips wanting to kiss him but I would back off and waited for a second. My nails played with him softly down his back. Down by his neck my lips laid no motions. My teeth felt angry playing with his skin. Nervous I sensed he was though he expected the worse out of it. Kissing, licking, sucking I gasped for air and bit him as my nails ran against his chest roughly. He cried outloud. Blood filled my dry mouth. He untied himself and opened his tearful eyes and laid helplessly on the cement floor.
 This damaged day I lay and weep.
My soul to creep.
Into the nightly sleep.
I'll find a place hallow and deep.
They made me feel all so cheap.
And left my heart with a leak.
So in this journey that I seek.
Don't let them harm me to their peaks.
 I'm a panther hunting and smelling you near.
I'm a bird searching for the worm that'll give me life.
I'm a snake sliding through your body.
I'm a fish swimming for you.
I'm a bat that'll suck the living hell out of you.
I'm a parrot repeating what you want me to say.
I'm a cat purring for you to come out.
I'm a dog barking softly as if you were my spy.
I'm a rabbit smelling every inch of you.
I'm a bee sucking your precious skin that's going to gratify me.
I'm a lion that wants to dominate your body.
 candle me into your breaking smile
light my tongue with your seet germ
i want to eat till my mouth won't chew no more
i can't believe i'm in your eye
i tried all these crying years
Now i'm a dot in your heart
you break me like ice at times
you put me together with your lust
but let me eat some more till I say no more
my sweet tongue aches for more
i want to die inside of you
by sick girl
 DARK HIS BODY SMITHERS ME
HE SPARKS WITH TONES OF HYPNOTIZING MUSIC THAT DRAWLS ME TO HIS OPENING SWEET MOUTH.
HIS EYES WINKING STRAIGHT TO MY HEART INVITING MY STAY FOR A COMPANION TO TENDERNESS.
ARMS THAT WRAP MY HEART INTO COMFORNTNESS AND SAFETY.
I DON'T CARE TO BREATH AS LONG AS I DIE LIKE THIS AND not unHAPPY AND aLONE.
ACTIONS BRING ME BACK HERE TO STAY.
LOOK AND YOU WILL GET ME....FOREVER.
BY SICK GIRL
  i AM ONE.
i AM THE IMPATIENT DRUG YOU WANT.
i AM THE ONE YOU BREATH ON.
i AM THE NEEDLE YOU STICK TO.
i AM THE ONE ON TOP.
i AM THE SWEAT YOU BARE.
i AM THE ONE THAT MAKES YOU HURT.
i AM THE BLOOD YOU PITY TO.
i AM THE SIN YOU CARRY.
i AM THE WISH YOU ASKED FOR.
i AM THE PRAYERS IN YOUR DARKNESS.
i AM THE WANTED DRUG.
i AM THE BELLS THAT RING.
i AM THE ONE THAT CARRIES YOUR SOUL TO SLEEP.
i AM THE ONE THAT MAKES YOU SCREAM.
i AM THE ANGEL BEHIND YOUR BACK.
i AM THE SELFISH ONE.
i AM THE SNAKE YOU LICK.
i AM THE PAIN THAT DRAWLS YOUR DRY MOUTH.
i AMTHE ONE YOU CRY FOR.
i AM THE BLOOD YOU DRINK.
i AM VANISHING.
i AM THE GRUMPS YOU MAKE.
i AM THE FEVER YOU'LL HAVE
i AM SIN.
i AM YOUR KATT.
i AM YOUR MASTER.
i AM YOUR POCKET.
i AM YOUR TOY.
i AM YOUR INVITATION.
i AM ALL YOU NEED.
i AM TOO SICK.
 i will make you wet..
i will leave scars..
i will burn..
i will scratch..
i will make you itch..
i will demand..
i will be in charge..
i will beat..
i will pull..
i will make more..
i will hate..
i will make you SICK.......
 Oh my friend if only you knew what I carry
Why do I wish to be in glue
Sending messages don't come through
the things I do
the sacrifices
what do you do for me
i hurt in many ways
Why do I find myself thinking of how it would be
To be with you
I smile though I cry
it won't happen I say
so I sit and delay
I'm waiting for the phone to ring
it's dark
It's black
It's twelve I say
and still I lay
 I WILL LOCK YOU IN
MAKE YOU DIE SLOWLY
I WILL SCRAPE YOUR INNER THOUGHTS TILL YOU BECOME SWOLLEN
I WILL NOT STOP TO PITY YOU
I WILL MAKE YOU HURT SO BAD THAT'LL TURN YOU INSANE
I WILL MAKE YOU SWEAT INSIDE
THIS IS THE BEGINNING
WAIT TILL THE CHAPTER ENDS
IT'LL BECOME MORE INTENSE
GOODBYE'S AREN'T FOREVER YOU KNOW...
 you penetrate me
you make my eyes bleed
you make my heart explode
you make me more
you stimulate me
you make me pray
you make me beg
you make me sing for more
you make me sweat like a pig
you make me a wild pussy katt
you make me a Sabbath bitch
you make me closer to GOD
you make me SICK
in all
You make me Cum
 I will write, drink my filth say my mistakes and slowly kill my brain.
It's dark and quiet.
The cold air that sinks in my skin.
The light that closes me in my own shadow.
I miss you deeply.
What a misery you are.
Your a reptile crawling down my skin.
Unstoppable melody.
Your Ungodly.
Never tedious around me.
Though I will always prefer you..I do
I am at my peak.....please come quick.
 i wish you knew me
i wish you could feel me
i wish could see me
i wish you were here
i wish you could touch me
i wish you were slightly aggressive
i wish you wre a bit submissive
i wish you my pain
i wish you tears of pleasure
i wish you could satisfy me
i wish you sickness
LOOK WITH YOUR NAKED EYES at me.
LOOK WITH YOUR NAKED EYES as I undress thee...
LOOK WITH YOUR NAKED EYES what it could be..
LOOK WITH YOUR NAKED EYES as i move as you want me to move...
LOOK WITH YOUR NAKED EYES only at me..
LOOK WITH YOUR NAKED EYES as they tell me a story of you..
LOOK WITH YOUR NAKED EYES at my lips as they inhale you in...
LOOK WITH YOUR NAKED EYES at me
My little boy's mentality of passion excites him for The God of the Moon.
He's in search of a bride. The Queen of the Bee's.
Little does he know she will meet his deeds and make him grow weak.
My little boy so young and so wrongful.
In search of a life he will never posses only actions will leave him at rest,
My little boy crippled at heart with one tiny eye to peak into the deadly night.
But little does he know she will put a deadly fight,
My little boy now weep your soul to sleep.
it's so devine...my sweet sour wine..
you win my depression instead of regression..
i disappoint you and leave you tasteless..
i have no battery to stop at your aggression..
everything wins my appreciation....
When I look into you I want to tear my insanity out..your beautiful next to me...
Your a rose and I am just your bloody thorn hanging on..and don't cut me..
When I look into you I delay my promise land...you'll someday see that I am human just
like you.
When I look into you the ice breaks and I shiver thinking it's cold but really it's hot.
When I look into you this liquid of erotic sensation comes over my body and I become
submissive to every vow I have.
When I look into you I feel as if I have a knife cutting my throat over and over again.
When I look into you I want to get into you..
When I look into you you seem to feed my inner scars
When I look into you deep inside I cry day and night
When I look into you I get excited knowing your right by my side...
 Spanish Kisses
Come and KISS me tonight all night.
Lick your lips just right all night.
Place them next to mine all night.
Move me closer to you as we KISS softly all night.
Deeper and deeper we KISS all night.
We KISS in the spotlight all night...
As we become one all night.
Something on my mind.
I'm trying desperately to find.
Your not even there
Nor do you see m to care
How I feel about this.
You just end it with a sugarless kiss.
And so I cry.
And my feelings are dry.
I'm trying to explain
That my heart is in pain.
I can't sleep at night
Not knowing that I have a light.
Some sense of direction.
Some kind of instruction.
Take this foul taste
Pull it out and press
ERASE.
 How can I say goodbye?
Will you ever be ready to let go all the ties?
It hurts to know I won't see your face again.
I don't want to feel afraid.
That I won't see your face, your hand in mine.
You were always my guide.
You were my flower along with my sun.
Will you see me when I run?
To the fields of trouble
Or when I feel humble?
Will you feel me when I sleep?
Or when I cry too deep?
You were my everything.
You were my voice when I sing
And everything I think.
I can't help but feel so sad
While our kind is glad.
That your entering his world.
No more pain.
No more swords.
Will you be my angel
That I may believe for as long as I live?
 My life is cut.
With dried blood on my skin.
Pain with shivers.
Tears and mistakes.
Regret my past.
Am I here for how long?
Because I can't stand the ache.
You've damaged my existence.
Scared me for life.
I will never be the same.
It's all a game to you.
And I cry.
Because you don't know.
How this effects me.
Turn the page.
Skip the page.
Turn the page.
Skip this stage.
And I cry.
And I cry.
Because you laugh and laugh.
And I could only cry.
 pic by Sick Girl
i am 25.
will i ever reach the sky?
before I die
without getting high
i don't want to sit and cry
nor do i want to lay in the sun and rye
nor do i want to kick my boots and lie
on the green meadows of the rye
am i saying too much? oh my!
but do you want to know the reason why?
let me fix it this mess and kiss you goodbye.
   i feel so down
with a frown
no one around
my beating heart
is tearing apart
i feel so empty and useless
who am i ? I feel so clueless
what does my life mean?
when i feel like it's under steam
my dreams break
and all i want to do is take
 I can't sleep
I feel weak
And feel too deep
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