Okay, so this is a little on the OOC side (okay, a LOT on the OOC side), but I had to indulge a bit. I always thought the scene at the end of The Secret needed more. Seth is often forgotten and/or used for his comic relief, and I wanted to see the side we don’t get to see, so I write it. J Viva la fanfic!

Welcome To My World

By Jinx

Spoilers for The Secret

The four of them stopped on the sidewalk by the parking lot, looking down at the students milling around the quad. They were being observed with the quiet intensity reserved for those who have fallen from their social graces. Well, two of them were at any rate. The third was being observed with the revulsion of merely being the new kid on the block. The last was being observed (or rather ignored) with the ridicule of being the school dork.

The last of the group to have fallen from grace was the first to speak.

“This is gonna be weird,” Luke stated.

“Yep,” Ryan said.

“Everybody’s gonna be staring at me. Talkin’.”

“Yep,” Marissa agreed.

They watched as Luke’s former friends huddle around each other, eyeing him. The cheerleaders glanced Marissa’s way before turning their backs on her as though she wasn’t there.

“Maybe I can just blow the whole thing off. Go hit the beach. Give everybody time to get it out of their systems.” Luke looked to Ryan for confirmation.

“It doesn’t work like that,” Ryan answered. “It’s been months. I’m still the kid from Chino that burned a house down.”

“And I’m still the girl who tried to kill herself in Mexico,” Marissa added.

“I’m still the…” Seth looked down the line at the other three. “I’m still Seth Cohen.

“Man, this is gonna suck,” Luke breathed.

“Yep,” Seth confirmed. “Well, welcome to my world.” He dropped his skateboard to the ground and skated off not really wanting to hear anymore of everyone’s whiny complaints.

He had been dealing with being the school outcast since day one; and that had been over ten years ago. He could skate through the crowds and no one would even bother to acknowledge his presence. Unless, of course, it was the water polo team trying to trip him off his board. Now, he wondered if they would even bother anymore since he and Luke were… What the hell were they anyway? Friends? He supposed it could be looked at like that. Luke’s oust from the popular crowd certainly put him in league with Seth. And wasn’t that just strange and unusual?

And it was typical Newport style to kick someone to the curb when they were already down. It wasn’t Luke’s fault that his dad was gay. But the kids of Newport didn’t care one way or the other. Luke’s dad was different, so therefore, he was different and no longer part of the group.

Same thing with Marissa… she tries to kill herself and is turned away, albeit temporarily, because she did something out of The Newport Norm.

And Ryan… hell, he was an outcast simply because he wasn’t from The O.C. He had the looks to get him in with the ‘in-crowd’, but he didn’t have the background; and your background was everything in a town like Newport.

Seth? Well, he may have had the background: his grandfather owning pretty much all of Newport, but he was just too geeky to fit in; and so he didn’t even try. And here was Mr. and Miss Popularity bitching about no longer being who they once were. Seth snorted as he skated away. Maybe everyone should have to fall from grace once in their life to know how it feels to be Seth Cohen all the time.

Wishful thinking on Seth’s part, sure, but it was a nice thought.

He stopped momentarily to let them catch up, but they were still sniveling about how everyone was looking at them funny and how they just wished everything could go back to the way it’d been.

Seth was in no mood and skated away.

“Seth!” If it had been anyone else, he wouldn’t have stopped. But it was Ryan. And for some reason, Ryan was the one person Seth just couldn’t ignore. He prayed to Moses and Jesus that the other two wouldn’t be with him, but when he turned around he found his prayers had gone unanswered.

His face hardened. “What?”

“Wait up,” Marissa implored.

Seth frowned at her. “Why?”

Ryan shot Seth a concerned look, but didn’t say anything.

“Solidarity in numbers, man,” Luke answered, smiling.

Seth looked at Luke like he’d sprouted wings. “You’re kidding, right?”

Luke’s eyes narrowed. “What’s your problem, Cohen?”

“My problem?”

“Yeah!”

“C’mon, man,” Ryan started, trying to soothe Seth. He took him by the arm and led him away from the other two. “Give ‘em a break.”

Seth glared at Ryan. “A break.” It was a statement, not a question.

“Yeah, man. They’ve gone through a lot.”

Seth bit the inside of his lip to keep from screaming. “They’ve gone through a lot?” He looked over Ryan’s shoulder and saw Marissa and Luke looking over at them. “They’ve gone…” Seth clenched his hands into fists. His anger had turned to icy calm when Luke and Marissa stepped up behind Ryan.

Luke’s eyes were dark with anger and embarrassment. “Look, man. Don’t go out of your way or anything.”

Seth turned on Luke, one hand swinging his board around dangerously. “Oh, don’t you even dare try that guilt trip crap.” He stepped into Luke’s personal space, face to face, finger jabbing into Luke’s chest. “I’ve taken beatings from you and your buddies every month for the past ten fucking years, Ward, so don’t you dare start with me.”

Luke immediately backed down, silently admitting his past wrongs. “Dude, I…”

“What?” Seth hissed. “You didn’t mean to? Your friends made you do it? It was an accident? All eighty three times you and your buddies beat me up? I’m sure the broken wrist was an accident and the cracked ribs and the black eyes and cracked jaw bone and the…”

With each infraction, all three of his ‘friends’ grew paler and paler. Marissa had no idea that her ex-boyfriend had been such a bully. Ryan had no idea that his friend had endured so much torture. Luke… well, Luke had no idea that his tormenting had caused so much damage: emotional or physically.

“Seth,” Ryan began.

Seth sighed and looked away momentarily. “Look. I’m sorry that you all feel like social pariahs. I do. But that doesn’t mean I want to stand around and listen to your tales of woe.” He looked at Ryan meaningfully. “I live this shit. Every day. I don’t need to hear about it from someone else. Two someone elses. Especially someone elses who don’t even know the meaning of what they’re talking about. Yeah, okay, so you guys lost the status you had with your friends. Well, at least you had a status to lose. At least you had some friends to begin with. Me? I’ve had nothing.” He looked at Luke. “Nothing but water polo guys kicking my ass all the time and,” he turned to Marissa, “the girl next door who couldn’t even bother to say hello to the kid that lived right next to her… for ten years.”

Luke and Marissa hung their heads, trying not to look at Seth and see the recrimination in his eyes. They had never had everything spelled out to them before and it was a horrible eye-opening experience.

Ryan stood aside in shock. He never realized what Seth had gone through, mainly because Seth never said anything. It did, however, make him change his views of Seth. Not that he thought Seth was snobby, by any means, but he just figured that Seth lived this sheltered, privileged life, albeit lonely, but nothing that he couldn’t handle. But he had been wrong. Seth’s life in Newport wasn’t too far from Ryan’s life in Chino. The only difference was that Seth healed his wounds in a big house by the ocean while Ryan healed his in a tiny, run down house on a tiny, run down street.

Ryan was jerked from his thoughts when Marissa spoke. “I’m sorry, Seth. I…I didn’t know.”

Seth shrugged a shoulder. “Yeah, well…”

“Cohen…” Luke stepped up to Seth and Seth took an instinctive step back; years of assault always in the back of his mind. Ryan moved to intercept Luke; a new and sudden need to protect Seth moving him forward. Luke acknowledged Ryan’s shielding and stepped back. “Seth. I… Um, I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry, man, I don’t…”

Seth shook his head and raised his hands. “Look. I’m glad you’ve, like, seen the light or whatever, but…” He sighed and pushed off on his board and skated away.

The other three watched him go before Ryan turned on Luke and Marissa, confused shock clear on his face. “Eighty three times?!”

“I didn’t know it was so much,” Luke admitted, ashamed.

“I’m sure Seth exaggerated,” Marissa defended.

Ryan looked at her with disapproval. “I know Seth can exaggerate at the best of times, but I’m sure he could keep count as to all the times he was terrorized by your boyfriend,” Ryan accused. “It’s something people who are abused do. I should know. I could give you the exact number of times my mom’s boyfriend hit me.”

Luke and Marissa looked at each other in horror.

“Look, Ryan, I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I didn’t realize what we were doing to him.”

“Obviously.”

“You think he’d let me apologize… again?”

“I’ll talk to him, okay?” Luke nodded gratefully. “Just give him some time, all right?” Luke nodded again.

* * * * *

After school, Seth and Ryan went directly to the pool house. They were lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling… had been for over an hour and Seth was more quiet than Ryan had ever seen him. He wanted to ask him if he was all right, but after this morning, he knew that would have been the dumbest question he could ask. Of course Seth wasn’t all right. He certainly wasn’t. How could he be? He’d just found out that his best friend had been suffering an agony that no one, not even he, could have imagined. Cracked ribs? Cracked jaw bone? Broken wrist?

Unconsciously, Ryan gently reached out and encircled Seth’s left wrist with his right hand and caressed the bones under the tender flesh. Seth’s head turned to him and a small smiled curved Seth’s lips. Seth turned so he was lying on his side and held out his right arm.

“Actually, it was this one.”

Ryan turned so he was facing Seth and took the proffered wrist, bringing it to his lips to press gentle lips to the once broken bones.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Ryan whispered against the skin.

Seth shrugged a shoulder. “Nothing to say really.” At Ryan’s incredulous look, Seth continued. “It pretty much stopped after you came, so… There were a couple more pushings and shovings, but nothing like before.”

“Why didn’t Sandy or Kirsten do anything?”

Seth smiled self-deprecatingly. “Because I told them that I fell of my skateboard.” Ryan shook his head unbelieving. “It wasn’t all that far from the truth. I just didn’t tell them that it was the water polo jocks that tripped me up or knocked me down or…” He shrugged again.

“Jesus, Seth,” Ryan breathed. He leaned forward and softly traced a finger around Seth’s jaw. He trailed up the side of Seth’s face, lightly brushing over a cheek bone, around an eye, down the bridge of his nose. He then leaned forward and traveled the same path with his lips, gently touching every spot he thought Seth may have been injured by the abuse, finally ending with a light brush over Seth’s lips.

The kiss was warm and sweet. Ryan treating Seth delicately. It was no wonder the boys had been so loving with each other from the very beginning. Both knowing the harshness and cruelty of touch and not wanting to bring that to this relationship.

Ryan had always thought, though, that Seth was overly caring with him because of Ryan’s past, and while that may have been partially true, it seemed it was also because Seth could empathize with what Ryan had gone through. Something Ryan had just found out today.

Ryan broke the kiss and wrapped his arms around Seth, pulling him to his chest, holding tight. He tucked Seth’s head down under his chin, entwining his legs with Seth’s. He wanted to erase everything that Seth had gone through, squeeze the memories of the torment away. And while he knew that was impossible, Seth had done the same with him occasionally over the past months, he could make sure that it never happened again.

He knew that Luke would never hurt Seth again. Not because Ryan would kill him if he did, but because this whole experience had changed him; made him a better person. And Seth telling him off today, showed Luke a side of himself that Ryan was sure no one would ever see again. So, something good did come out of it.

“I’m sorry,” Ryan murmured in Seth’s hair.

Seth tilted his head back and looked into Ryan’s compassionate blue eyes. “What for?”

“For not protecting you.”

“Ryan…”

Ryan ran fingers through Seth’s hair. “I won’t let anyone hurt you again.”

Seth smiled crookedly. “I know. Me, too.”

Ryan grinned, disbelief glinting in his eyes.

“What?” Seth leaned further back. “You don’t think I could kick someone’s ass for you?”

Ryan laughed. “I’m sure you could.”

Seth put his head back on Ryan’s chest and nodded. “Damn right I could. And don’t you forget it.” Seth’s words were a bit slurred, proof that the day had taken a lot out of him.

After a few minutes, when Ryan was sure that Seth was either already asleep or just getting there, he whispered, “Love you.” He felt an answering smile against his throat and closed his eyes, letting sleep claim him, too.

Finis

7/17/05