Lucky
sequel to: One Chance
By Jinx
i knew how it felt to be another one in need of someone to show the way
until you saw a part of me that nobody else could see and my life hasn’t
been
the same…
Lucky,
Hoobastank
Seth
It had
been five weeks, four days and several hours since the incident in the bathroom
at school (not that he was counting or anything) and true to his word, Seth had
left Ryan alone to figure out this whole possible Seth/Ryan Thing. Okay, so it wasn’t just possible. It was a definite. At least that’s what Ryan made it out to be
when they were talking: He just needed to get his head around what his heart
already knew.
Seth
could understand that. He’d been doing
that himself lately. Because contrary to
popular belief, Seth was still trying to wrap his head around this whole thing,
too.
He had a
feeling that the summer away had a lot to do with it. He had left
And while
he was sailing away on his catamaran; that was when he realized he may have
felt a bit more than friendship for Ryan than was strictly normal… for best
friends and/or brothers, that is.
When his
notebooks (yes, plural) started filling up with images of Ryan during the
summer, the clue bus he’d been ducking and dodging for several months ran him
over and flattened him on the spot.
It was
time to hop on and admit defeat.
Not that
having more than brotherly feelings for his best friend was a bad thing. But up until then, Seth had considered
himself one hundred percent a ladies kind of guy.
The clue
bus was packed, of course. Full of
sideway glances and too long hugs and late night video tournaments that had them
sitting much closer than what was strictly considered
guy-normal. He sat amongst the memories
and felt his heart break as he realized he would probably never see Ryan again…
never get the chance to tell him how he felt.
Ryan was with Theresa now and they were having a baby.
Seth was
officially alone.
Again.
So, Seth
spent his days and night sketching reams of notebooks. Some pages were of Summer. A few were of other people of Newport: Marissa, Luke—formerly of Newport, even Anna—formerly
of Newport, the latter two who had moved away, too—like Ryan. But mostly, they were of Ryan.
And now,
one of those notebooks was in Ryan’s pool house, tucked neatly under a
pillow. Or so Seth had been told when he
went to Ryan to ask for the book back.
Ryan refused and told him that it was helping him. Seth shrugged. Who was he to argue with that? Whatever assisted Ryan with figuring everything
out faster was fine with him. He was
tempted to provide Ryan with the other three notebooks, but thought better of
it when he remembered Ryan going through the Summer pictures and calling him
‘obsessed’. Ryan would probably freak if
he knew there was more than one notebook of him.
One was
more than enough. Four? That was practically stalking. Ryan would put a restraining order out on him
so fast Seth’s head would fall off.
Though
with Ryan, one never knew. He might
actually find it funny. Enduring? Oh, who was he kidding? Seth would never see Ryan again.
The five
weeks didn’t pass as slowly as Seth assumed it would. He was still pretty much avoiding
everyone. Well, not so much avoiding;
more like not seeking out others company.
Summer
had cornered him the day after the Bathroom Incident and proceeded to verbally
wring his neck for what he had said to Zach.
Though,
he had to admit, he never could have guessed the outcome.
“You mind telling me what that was all about yesterday,
Cohen?”
His locker door was slammed shut barely missing his
fingers. Seth blinked and glanced down
into the very pissed off eyes of his ex-girlfriend.
“Hey, Summer.”
“Don’t you ‘hey, Summer’ me, Asshat. What the hell is going on with you?”
Seth adjusted his pack before leaning against the
lockers. “Look, I’m sorry, it’s just…”
“I don’t want to hear it, Cohen. That was a pretty mean thing you said
yesterday and…”
“Mean? Mean??”
“Yes, ‘mean.’”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I
didn’t know you had the market cornered on ‘mean’. Excuse me for encroaching on your territory,”
he snarked.
“What the hell is with you, Cohen?”
What the hell was with him? He thought. He looked at her
and an idea so foreign to him popped into his head, he wondered if someone or
something had taken over his body
while he wasn’t looking. Because he was… Was he really? Yes, he was.
Seth was contemplating telling her.
What?!
Yes! He was actually
contemplating telling her the truth. Oh god, he was definitely insane. It was the stress of just having admitted to
Ryan that he ‘liked’ him… that way
that was doing it. It must have
been. It was the only thing he could
think of. This was Summer Roberts
here! Miss Rage-Blackouts herself. Was he actually thinking about telling her
that her ex-boyfriend was now in love with his best friend?
What the hell was he thinking?
Obviously, he wasn’t because the next thing he knew, he
had taken her arm and was dragging her down the hallway until he found an empty
classroom. He followed her inside and
closed and locked the door.
“What the he—?!
Cohen! What has gotten into you?”
Summer demanded, hands fisted on her hips.
Seth squeezed his eyes shut,
hoping that if he couldn’t see her, it would make everything much easier.
What the hell are you thinking? His mind roared.
No! No, no, no, nononononono!
Instead, he opened his eyes and started pacing. “Look, Summer, I’m
really sorry about yesterday, okay? You
are right. I am an asshat. What I said yesterday was mean. I’m totally sorry, okay?” He ended his apology by sitting dejectedly on
the edge of a table, eyes closed, head bent.
That’s good. You didn’t say anything. Good boy!
Just apologize and maybe you can get out of here with what is left of
your dignity.
He was expecting a lot of things: yelling, hitting,
punching, things being thrown. None of
that happened. Instead, he felt a gentle
touch on his arm and he looked up into surprisingly compassionate eyes.
“This is about you and Ryan,
isn’t it?”
Seth’s eyes widened.
“Huh?” He said stupidly. He did
not just hear that. Did he?
“Cohen. I may be shallow and
conceited…” Seth snorted and she hit his arm. “But, I’m not dumb. I
know you like Ryan." She waved her arm around. "Like that. I mean, you left Newport
practically the second Ryan drove away. Hello!” She smacked him on the
side of his head.
“Yeah, well…”
“You’ve been acting strange. Well, stranger than normal for you, since you
came back. It didn’t take a genius to
figure it out.”
Seth turned panicked eyes towards her. “You don’t think everyone knows, do you? Oh god!
I can’t believe I’ve been so transparent! Oh my god!
What am I gonna do, Summer?” He gripped her arms and swallowed nervously,
shaking her like a ragdoll.
“Calm down, Cohen. Sheesh! I don’t
think everyone knows. I mean Ryan
doesn’t, does he?”
Seth sagged back down on the table. “He does now.”
Summer’s eyes widened.
“When?”
“When he came to yell at me for…” he smiled up at her, “…being
mean to you.”
“Ah,” she started sarcastically. “My own
knight-in-shining-armor.”
“Hey! I thought
that was me!”
Summer sneered. “It
was until you ran off to
Seth grew serious.
“I’m really sorry about that, Summer.”
Summer jumped up on the table and sat next to him. “I know.” She linked her arm with his and
leaned against him. “It’s okay. I’ve got a new knight.” Her eyes sparkled when she looked up to
him. “He’s a pretty good guy.”
“Yeah,” Seth agreed.
“He is.”
“Hey!” Summer elbowed Seth in the ribs. “Get your own knight.”
Seth sighed and looked away.
“I’m sorry, Cohen,” Summer put
her chin on his shoulder. “Did he freak
out when you told him?”
“Kinda. Sorta. Not really.”
“Well, which is it?” She lifted her head and glared at
him.
“Not really. He
said he needed time to think about it.”
“Really?” Her voice
hopeful. “That
great. Uh, that’s great, isn’t
it?”
“Yeah, it’s great,” Seth said. The lack of enthusiasm hung heavy in the air.
“You don’t think he returns your feelings?” She put her
head back down on the side of his arm.
Seth shrugged. “I
don’t know. I guess I’ll find out,
though… sometime.”
They were silent for a few minutes before Summer jumped off the table and stared pointedly at him.
“What now?” He asked anxiously.
“Now?
You buy me a latte to make up for being mean to me yesterday.”
Seth smiled and slid off the table. “M’lady.” He offered his arm. Summer threaded her arm through his and they
left the classroom, making their way to the rec room.
Seth
smiled again feeling much better about the whole thing and knowing full well
that he had gotten off very, Very, VERY lightly with Summer
this time around. The next time? Probably not so much.
Plus, now
he had an ally of sorts. Well, if
nothing else, someone who knew. It made
it that much easier to deal with. And it
lifted a weight from his chest that he didn’t realize had been slowly
suffocating him.
He made
his way to the rec room and settled on to his favorite couch in the
corner. Not feeling like sketching, he
put his feet on the table in front of him… something that he’d seen Ryan do
hundreds of times. Leaning back, he rested
his head on the back of the couch and closed his eyes.
* * * * *
Ryan
Ryan
walked up the few steps to the upper lever of the rec room and made his way to
the darkened corner where Seth had taken up residence on the only couch this
far back. It had been Seth’s new
favorite spot for the past two months.
Most of the time Ryan would see Seth up here by himself, but a few times
he would see Zach and/or Summer up here, too.
A few times, Ryan had joined him.
But for the most part, Ryan tried to leave Seth alone. He knew that Seth was doing his own form of
thinking just as Ryan had been for the past several weeks.
It hadn’t
been easy.
There had
been many times when Ryan had wanted to seek out Seth, but he always
refrained. He was afraid that if he went
to Seth, then Seth would assume that Ryan was ready and he was so not ready. Okay, so he was more ready than he was five
weeks ago, but…
But the
past five weeks had been murder. Ryan
had certain expectations. One of which
was a nightly game of PlayStation. No
matter what they were doing, unless their girlfriends kept them busy, they
always had time for a quick game. But
there had been no PlayStation. Also, he was
used to Seth bursting into the pool house unannounced at odd hours of the day
and night. The past five weeks? Nothing.
These two
things alone were causing tension in the family. Sandy and Kirsten were starting to take
notice. He would catch sly glances and
covert looks between Sandy and Kirsten as they sat a dinner even though Ryan and
Seth tried their damnedest to keep some kind of normality between them.
But they
hadn’t succeeded because their nightly game hadn’t happened… for five
weeks. Nor had they bothered to study
together, even though they used to study together either in the pool house or
at the dining room table.
Ryan was
finding himself going insane just from his lack of Seth. And it was with that understanding late last
night that Ryan realized that his head finally comprehended what his heart had
been trying to tell it all along… he loved Seth.
It’s about fucking time, he thought angrily to
himself. And it only took five and a half weeks of solitude to figure it out!
So, when
he got up this morning, he was determined that today would be the day he would
tell Seth.
He had
sauntered into the house, ready to sit down next to Seth and confess everything
(providing the Cohen parents weren’t in the room).
Unfortunately,
as had become habit since the Forgetting Seth Incident several weeks ago, when
Ryan woke up, Seth had already left on his skateboard. Seth had yet to forget or forgive either Ryan
or his parents for leaving him behind that morning over a month ago and took to
‘boarding to school every day.
It was a
punishment that both Ryan and Seth’s parents felt they justly deserved and so, hadn’t
said anything to Seth about it… yet.
Though Ryan could tell Sandy and especially Kirsten were going to crack
soon and say something.
So it was
with that thought that Ryan was now standing at the top of the steps watching Seth
relax on the couch, feet on the table, head resting on the back of his seat.
There was
only half a day left of school and Ryan felt he should certainly wait until the
end of the day, but seeing Seth sitting there… he just couldn’t.
He moved
over to the couch and sat down next to Seth.
Seth didn’t move for the longest time and Ryan began to wonder if
perhaps Seth had fallen asleep. That is
until Seth’s head tilted in his direction and a brown eye barely creased
opened.
Ryan felt
his insides twist as a slow, small smile curved Seth lips. “Hey.”
“Hey,”
Ryan whispered. The butterflies in his
stomach growing to Mothra sized proportions.
“’S up?”
Seth asked, his other eye slitting open to stare at Ryan
under heavy-lidded eyes.
Has he always been so sexy? Ryan thought to himself before
shaking his head.
How could
he have thought he needed time? He had
missed Seth terribly these past several weeks.
Missed him like he had never missed anyone before… up to and including
his mom and brother. There was no way
that Ryan could be without Seth. The
past five weeks was proof enough of that.
Ryan
watched in amusement as Seth’s eyes slowly started to widen as the implications
of Ryan’s silence began to filter into Seth’s always-running brain. Seth slowly sat up, removing his feet from
the table and leaned his head forward, full wide eyes now focused solely on
Ryan.
“Ryan?”
“Yes.”
Ryan
stifled a grin as he watched Seth’s eyebrows come together in confusion. He leaned forward and whispered, “That wasn’t
a question, Seth.”
“It
wasn’t a…” Seth began to repeat before understanding dawned in his eyes and he
sat back quickly and blinked rapidly several times at Ryan. “You mean?
Uh, I mean, you… well, that you’ve… we… um…”
Ryan quirked his mouth. “Yes.”
Seth’s
eyes widened further and his mouth formed an ‘o’ under his own fingers which
he’d brought to his lips. He began
nodding his head. “Okay. That’s, um, that’s great. I mean, that’s awesome. That’s…”
Seth then frowned and cocked his head at Ryan. “Um, Ryan?
What exactly does that mean?”
Ryan sat
back against the arm of the couch. “It
means, ‘yes’, Seth. It means I want
you. It means I want everything.”
“Ev… um,
everything?” Seth barely managed not to squeak.
“Everything,”
Ryan confirmed. He leaned forward. “It also mean that while it is a ‘yes’, I
need just one thing.”
Seth
nodded, though if he stopped since the first time, Ryan couldn’t be sure. “Okay.
Name it. Anything and it’s
yours. All you have to do is ask. And I’ll make sure it happens. Whatever you wan…”
Ryan
reached out and pinched Seth’s lips with his index finger and thumb. He stared pointedly at Seth and Seth nodded
his understanding. When Ryan removed his
fingers, his glared defied Seth to start talking, which to Seth’s credit, he
didn’t.
“It’s not
something I want, per se. It’s something
I think we both need.” When Seth merely
nodded, Ryan continued. “We need to go
slow.” Seth raised his eyebrows silently
telling Ryan to go on. Ryan shook his
head. “No, that’s it.”
“That’s
it?” Seth blurted. “That’s it?!” Ryan nodded.
“Well, duh, dude! What did you
expect? Did you think I’d want to jump
in the sack…?”
“Seth!” Ryan’s hand shot out and covered Seth’s mouth
with a slap. He glanced around the room
and was relieved when he saw that most of the student in the rec room where down
by the arcade games and pool table. None
had heard Seth’s outburst.
He slowly
removed his hand and glared at Seth.
“Sorry,”
Seth whispered, looking around them as well.
He turned his attention back to Ryan.
“But, dude. Seriously? You’re not the only one who needs to do the
slow thing.”
Ryan’s
brows lifted. “Really?”
“Yeah,
man. I mean, I love you and stuff, but
I’m just not ready for the… you know.” Ryan could see Seth’s cheeks color in
the dim light and felt relief that Seth was probably feeling the same way he
was.
Ryan
raised an eyebrow. Seth had said that he
loved him during their conversation in the bathroom, too, but to hear it again…
wow! “You love me?” He whispered.
Seth
looked down and away. “Um…
yeah?”
A corner
of Ryan’s mouth curved up. “Is that a
question?”
“Uh, no?”
Ryan
looked pointedly at Seth, who was suddenly trying his damnedest not to look at
Ryan.
“No. As in ‘no’ you don’t or…”
Seth’s
head snapped up. “No! I mean, yes!
I mean…”
“Well,
which is it?” Ryan sat bemused.
Seth
opened his mouth to probably shove his foot further down his throat, but then
it dawned on him that Ryan was messing with him. Ryan laughed as Seth muttered, “Jerk.”
Ryan
looked around to make sure no one was watching before whispering, “Me, too.”
If Seth’s
face could light up their darkened corner, it would have been the brightest area
of the rec room. Ryan mentally shook his
head. What a place to have this conversation…
What is with them and confessionals at school?
After a
few minutes of them smiling stupidly at each other, Ryan looked down at his
watch and realized that their next class was in a few minutes. “Yeah. Okay. Look,
why don’t we finish this at home, okay?”
Seth
grabbed Ryan’s wrist and looked at the time.
“Sure, dude.”
They both
stood to leave.
“Meet you
out front after school?”
“Um, what
about…? I mean… didn’t you catch a ride
with Lindsay this morning?” Ryan watched
Seth bite his lip, suddenly unsure.
“No. I road my bike in today.”
Ryan
smiled inwardly as Seth looked first shocked then pleased. “Oh, okay, dude. See ya later.”
Ryan
watched Seth leave and realized that for the first time in five weeks he was
happy… really happy. He hadn’t expected
it to be that easy, but the hardest things usually were simpler than expected.
He smiled
all the way to his next class.
* * * * *
Seth
They
biked and ‘boarded their way home mostly in silence, silently agreeing that
their talk would be better in the privacy of home… specifically the pool house.
“So,”
Seth began, dropping on the bed and laying cross length along the bottom. He turned his head and watched as Ryan closed
the door behind him and stood at the door staring at Seth.
Seth
quirked an eyebrow. “Yes?”
He
watched as Ryan inhaled deeply and crossed the room to sit beside him.
“Um…”
Seth started only to be interrupted by Ryan.
“I broke
up with Lindsay.”
Seth
blinked at Ryan and sat up.
“Uh,
oookay?”
“Yeah.”
“Um, when
did this happen? And why didn’t you tell
me?”
Ryan
turned his head to face Seth and curled the corner of his lips in a small
smile. “I’m telling you now.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah,
‘oh’.”
“Um, are
you okay? I mean, are
you and Lindsay okay and stuff?”
Ryan
faced forward again, giving Seth a good look at his profile. “Yeah, we’re good.”
Seth
looked down at his hands between his knees.
He suddenly felt bad for Ryan’s break-up, though he couldn’t figure out
why. This was supposed to be a good
thing. “I’m sorry, dude.”
Seth
could see Ryan out of the corner of his eye turn to him. “It’s not your fault.”
Seth
turned incredulous eyes on Ryan.
“Well,
not completely,” Ryan amended.
Seth
nodded and looked away.
They sat
in silence for a moment longer until Seth saw Ryan’s hand come into his field
of vision and reach down to take one of his own. Seth snapped his head around and looked at
Ryan, who was facing forward again, resolutely not looking at Seth.
“Look,”
Ryan began. “Lindsay and I had a long
talk a few weeks ago and we both pretty much decided that it was never going to
work between us.”
Seth
returned to looking at their entwined fingers and noticed how easily they fit
together. He continued studying them as
Ryan continued to speak; Ryan’s thumb slowly caressing the base of his index
finger.
“Besides
the fact that she is kinda my
aunt… She really wants to have a
relationship with her dad… your grandfather… my—hell, I don’t know—enemy? Whatever.
She’s also trying to have a relationship with her sister… my guardian.” Ryan ran the fingers of his other hand
through his hair and gently squeezed their clasped hands. “It’s just too complicated. And now there’s…” Ryan raised their clutched
fingers. “…this.”
“Should
‘this’ not happen?” Seth asked quietly, looking down at his hand now in Ryan’s
lap.
Ryan
turned to Seth for the first time since he started speaking. “No!”
Seth’s
eyes widened at Ryan vehemence before his smiled. It was nice to know that Ryan wanted this
just as much as he did.
Ryan
grinned at Seth then looked down at their hands in his lap. “No, ‘this’ should definitely happen.”
“Okay,”
Seth whispered.
“I just
think we need to take this slow.”
“Okay.”
“I
haven’t been all that successful with relationships. Not in
“Okay,”
Seth’s voice cracked, so he just nodded… several times… like a bobble head.
Ryan
smiled kind of shyly. “Okay.”
* * * * *
Seth bound
into the kitchen the next morning in his usual manner, causing his parents to
look at him in concerned amusement.
“Good
morning, parental units. How are you
this fine day?” He pulled the cereal and
two massive bowls from the cupboard, grabbed two spoons and sat down in his
usual chair at the end of the island.
“Well,
hello yourself, stranger,”
Remembering
the milk, Seth jumped up and snagged the carton from the fridge before sitting
down again.
“Hello,
sweetie,” Kirsten said as she gave him a kiss on his temple. “Need a ride this morning?”
“Yeah,
that’d be great,” Seth mumbled around a mouthful of Cap’n Crunch.
“Does
this mean your skateboarding-to-school days are over?”
Seth
slowly lowered his spoon in to the bowl.
He’d seen the interchange between his parents and knew that he was going
to have to explain his past behavior. “Um,
yeah, about that…”
“We’re so
sorry, sweetie. Your father and I have
felt terrible for leaving you that day.”
Seth
looked up at his mom and blushed. “I
know. I’m sorry I’ve been acting like a
brat.”
“Oh, HA!
Dad. You are so the funny one
today. Might you be performing at the
Comedy Club this weekend?”
“No, that
would be your mother.” Kirsten grimaced
at her husband.
“Knock it
off, you two.”
Just then
Ryan entered and sat next to Seth. Seth
slid the empty bowl towards Ryan and grinned at his parents.
Seth
nudged Ryan as he attempted to take his first bite of his cereal. “Hey, Ry.
Dad’s gonna be at the Comedy Club this weekend. We should check it out.”
Seth
grinned as he watched Ryan raise his eyebrows at his parents. “Really?”
Ryan said, mouth full.
“Yep. He’s apparently funny. At least he thinks so.”
“All
right you guys. If you want a ride to
school, I suggest you get your books and be out at the car in five.”
“Wow!”
Seth said standing up and taking his bowl to the sink. “Now, that’s funny. She actually expects us to go to school. Maybe mom should be working the comedy
circuit instead of dad.”
Kirsten
rolled her eyes. “Make that three.”
Seth
laughed as Ryan jumped up from the stool and ran out to the pool house to get
his bag.
* * * * *
Today was
as boring as every other school day was at Harbor. Seth had kind of rejoined the land of the living, and by that, he was more social than he had been in
the past few months.
He sat
out at his ‘usual’ table on the veranda for lunch. And slowly but surely the rest of the gang
made their way towards the table. Even
Marissa and Lindsay came by. It was like
it had been before. Only Seth and Ryan
were sharing a secret. A secret that they had barely managed to figure out themselves let
alone something that they could or would share.
Okay, Summer knew, but it wasn’t as scary as Seth might have
thought. Although…
He hadn’t
had the chance to tell Ryan that Summer knew and he
was kind of afraid to tell him. Would he
be pissed? Now that Seth thought about
it, it may not have been the wisest choice in the world to tell Summer. Not because
telling Summer was bad, but the whole telling-anyone
thing…
Okay, so
yeah, maybe he should have waited.
But, he
couldn’t undo it, so he’ll just have to suffer the consequences when they
came.
He hoped
they didn’t come for a very, very long time… like never.
The table
was very crowded today and with the addition of another person, Ryan had to
slide closer and closer to Seth until they were practically pressed along the entire
length of their bodies. Seth was
squished between the railing of the veranda and Ryan.
Not that
this was a bad thing, in Seth’s humble opinion.
In fact it was a very, very good thing.
Very good. But with Ryan pressed
against him, he was finding it extremely difficult to contribute to the
conversation at hand. And since the
conversation had turned, thanks to Zach, jackass,
back to the comic book, he was expected to supply his side of the
conversation. Which he
was not doing a very good job at if the jabs he was receiving in his side from
Ryan were any indication.
“What is
with you, Cohen?” Summer asked, amusement twinkling in her eyes and voice. “You’ve been acting weirder than normal. And that’s saying a lot.”
“Oh! Ha ha!
So funny today, Summer. You and my dad should do a dual act at the
Comedy Club.”
Summer’s
brows furrowed together. “Huh?”
“Don’t
mind him,” Ryan interjected. “Joke from
this morning.”
“Whatever,”
Summer rolled her eyes and turned back to Zach.
Zach
started in on the graphic novel again, but Seth quickly lost interest when he
felt knowing eyes burning a hole through his skin. He flicked his eyes toward Summer
and accidentally caught her eye. She was
looking between both he and Ryan; a small smirk curling her lips.
He glared
at her, silently begging her to knock it off.
“So,
anyone have any plans for this weekend?” Marissa asked, having been quiet for
most of the lunch.
There
hadn’t been a lot of conversation between her and Ryan or Seth since she hooked
up with Seth’s ex-girlfriend, Alex. And
while the two girls were still together, it felt strange and awkward to say the
least.
But Seth
hadn’t been so happy to hear Marissa talk than at that very moment.
“Not
really,” Seth answered first.
“I was
going to have dinner with my dad,” Lindsay stated, earning her a glare from
Marissa at the mention of her step-father.
“I’m glad,”
Seth heard Ryan mutter to Lindsay as he placed his hand over hers.
Seth
tried really hard not to be jealous, reminding himself that Ryan and Lindsay
broke up… because of him.
Seth
smiled smugly.
“Zach is
taking me to Rodeo on Saturday,” Summer added.
“I am?”
Zach questioned.
“Yep.”
“Oh. Okay.
I am.” Zach grinned. The others at the table smiled knowingly.
“What
about you,
Seth
scowled at her.
Ryan
looked down at his tray. “Um… Seth
finally talked me in to learning how to sail.”
“I did?”
Seth asked, getting a pointed look from Ryan.
“Oh! Yeah! I mean, I did. Talk him into learning. How to sail.
I just forgot it was this weekend.
Yeah.”
“Sail?”
Summer mocked. “Is that what they’re
calling it now days?” She mumbled.
Seth’s
eyes widened and he kicked her under the table, missing her and kicking Zach
instead.
“Sorry,”
Seth muttered, flushing and looking down.
Not only embarrassed by missing his target, but blushing at the looks he
was getting from everyone at the table…
specifically Ryan, who was looking at him in confusion.
“Trying
to become a
Seth
frowned in disgust. “God, I hope
not. I like him just the way he is.”
Several
pairs of eyes turned to Seth and he burned hot in embarrassment. “I mean… you know what I mean.”
They all
started laughing at him; everyone except Ryan who was still staring at Seth
with part horror that Seth had let that slip and part awe that Seth had let that slip.
“Oh, ha-ha everyone. Perhaps you and my
dad could take your act on the road.”
“Nope,” Lindsay
said standing up. “Just to study
hall. I gotta go. Big test in History this afternoon.”
“What?”
Summer screeched, standing up as well.
“There’s a test?”
Seth
tried to watch Summer freak out because that was
always fun and he wanted to be vindictive, but he was still mortified over what
he’s said. That is until he felt a foot
curve around his ankle. He looked over
at Ryan, who was resolutely not
looking at him. He pressed a bit closer
to Ryan and grinned.
The table
cleared quickly after that, leaving Ryan and Seth alone.
With a
silent groan of disappointment from Seth, Ryan slid his chair away.
Ryan
looked pointedly at Seth, making his wriggle uncomfortably in his chair.
“What was
that with Summer?”
“Uh, n-nothing.”
Ryan
narrowed his eyes and stared at Seth. “Nothing? Didn’t
sound like nothing.”
Seth bent
his head down, resolutely not looking at Ryan.
“Um…” His voice lowered to the
point that he saw Ryan out of the corner of his eye lean forward to hear him
better. “Um, she knows.”
Seth
ventured a look up at Ryan.
“Really.” Statement, not question.
Seth
nodded his head and looked back down.
“When?”
“Since
the day after you told me you knew about the notebook.” Seth looked up tentatively.
Ryan
arched an eyebrow, but his face softened… much to Seth’s surprise. “How’d she take it?”
Seth
blinked at him. “She, um, apparently she
already knew. Said she figured it out
when I left for
Ryan
smiled ruefully. “Smart
girl.”
“Yeah. Are you mad?”
“Why
would I be mad?” Ryan questioned. “She
figured it out herself, right?”
“Ye—ah.”
“Right?”
Ryan repeated, uncertain.
Seth’s
head jerked up and he looked at Ryan in the eyes. “I didn’t tell her, Ryan, I swear! She figured it out by herself. I promise!”
Ryan
reached out to Seth, despite anyone looking, and patted his arm. “It’s okay.
I believe you.”
Seth
relaxed, relieved that Ryan wasn’t going to kick his ass.
They were
silent for a moment before Seth ventured, “So,” Seth’s voice cracked. He cleared his throat and tried again. “So, sailing huh?”
Seth
smirked as he watched Ryan blush. “It
was the only thing I could think of.”
Seth
lowered his voice and leaned forward.
“It’s not that bad of an idea.
Alone. In the middle of the
ocean. Could be fun.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s a
date.”
“Date? Like a Date date? Like a real live date and stuff?”
“Is that
okay?”
“Is it
o…? Yeah, it’s okay. It’s more than okay. It’s, like, totally okay. It’s beyond okay. It’s so okay, it’s…”
“Okay.” Ryan pulled his hand back from Seth’s arm.
“Yeah,”
Seth breathed, sitting back in his chair.
“Okay.”
* * * * *
Saturday
morning, Seth was up at the crack of dawn, preparing for The Date. He wanted to take Ryan out on the
catamaran. And if they were going to
spend most of the day out at sea, they needed snacks. Specifically lunch. Well, lunch and snacks.
He was
trying to make this as normal as possible; just two best friends hanging out on
a boat. Guys did that in
Okay, so
there were a few changes he wanted, but if truth be told, he wasn’t in a hurry
for those changes to happen. He was just
as eager as Ryan was to take things slow.
He was in
the middle of making sandwiches when
“Good
morning, son. You’re up early.”
Seth
smiled at his father. “Yep.”
“Any
reason?”
“Yep.”
“Well?”
Seth
grinned as he put the finishing touches on his third sandwich. “Ryan wants to learn how to sail.”
“Yep.”
“Wow. He might turn into a Newpsie yet.”
Seth
scowled at his dad. “God, I hope not.”
Just
then, Ryan came into the kitchen and made a bee-line for the coffee.
“So,
Ryan. Seth tells me you’re gonna learn
to sail today.”
Ryan almost
dropped his coffee cup. As it was, there
was a loud clatter before Ryan saved the mug from dying a death on the kitchen
floor. He whipped his head around to
stare at Seth, noticing for the first time that there were several sandwiches,
bags of chips, and a cooler scattered around the kitchen.
“Um,
yeah, I guess.” Ryan took a long gulp.
Seth gave
Ryan a dirty look. “Don’t sound so
thrilled there, buddy. Might I remind
you that this was your idea?”
“Don’t
remind me.”
Seth
looked up at his father at the compliment.
“Thanks, Dad.” He pointed to
Ryan. “See?”
“What’s
all this?” Ryan asked sitting down at the end of the counter, reaching out to
snag a piece of cheese.
“That is
my cue to leave. Have fun, boys,”
“Thanks,
Dad,” Seth replied.
Ryan
raised his cup at
Turning
to Ryan, Seth smiled. “This is our
lunch. Can’t have a date,” he whispered the last word,
“without a meal.”
Ryan
grinned into his cup as he took a sip.
“Are we still going sailing?”
“Yep.”
“You know
I just made that up so we didn’t have to hang out with anyone else this
weekend.”
“I
know. And it was a perfect idea.” Seth leaned forward conspiratorially. “You and me.
All alone. On the open
water. All alone. No one else around. And did I mention all alone?”
Ryan
smirked. “You may have said that once or
twice.”
Seth
straightened up and became serious. “I
know you meant what you said about taking this slow and I totally agree with
you. I just…” He colored slightly,
putting the last sandwich into a baggie.
“I just want this to be perfect, you know?”
Ryan
reached out a hand and put the sandwich that Seth was trying to strangle down
on the counter. Grabbing the fidgeting
fingers, Ryan squeezed lightly. “Don’t
worry.”
“But…”
“We’re
still us, Seth.”
“I know,
but…”
“Don’t
worry,” Ryan repeated.
“Okay.”
They
smiled at each other.
* * * * *
Ryan
They had
been out for a few hours before dropping the sails and just floating on the
water.
“This is
really nice,” he commented, watching Seth tie down the last rope.
“Are you
sure I can’t show you a few things? You
know dad will ask when we get home.”
“Maybe on
the way back,” he replied.
“Okay,”
Seth smiled. He leaned forward and
grabbed the cooler. “Hungry?”
“Not
right now.” Ryan stretched out on the
tiny catamaran, feet dangling over the back end and trailing in the water. He patted the space beside him and shifted
over a bit when he felt Seth settle in on his left.
They lay
side by side, staring at the cloudless sky, enjoying the silence of the ocean
and each other.
Feeling
daring, Ryan reached out his left hand and grasped the fingers of Seth’s
right. He felt Seth turn his head to
look at him, but he continued to stare at the sky.
“This is
nice,” he repeated, squeezing Seth’s fingers lightly.
“Yeah, it
is.”
They both
allowed the silence to lull them for almost a half an hour. When Ryan turned to Seth to say something, he
found his head still turned towards him, eyes closed, breath deep and even.
“Seth?”
Seth
didn’t move.
Ryan
rolled to his side, pulling his feet out of the water and continued to watch
Seth sleep.
He knew
from the first time they met that there was something different about
Seth. Here was someone who didn’t judge
him on who he was, where he was from or what had happened in his past. He had accepted him from day one and the
acceptance hadn’t changed one bit for the past year and a half. Seth was Seth and as far as he was concerned,
Ryan was Ryan. Plain and simple.
Not that
there was anything ‘plain’ or ‘simple’ about Seth. While he was not complicated in any way,
shape or form, he was also not ‘plain’ nor ‘simple’. He was Seth… with all the complexities that
came along with him.
The
problem with Seth, and not that this was a problem for Ryan, was that he was real and the shallow people of
Coming
from
But in the
midst of all this plastic, Ryan had been lucky enough to find the one real
person in all this fabrication: Seth.
Seth who
kept him sane.
Seth who
kept him real.
Seth who
kept him from becoming one of them. And
he knew that could have been a real possibility. While he would always be the boy from
He smiled
at the sleeping Seth.
Suddenly
he had an overwhelming need to touch Seth.
So, while keeping his left hand entwined with Seth’s right, he reached
out with his right and gently brushed his fingers down Seth’s sleeping cheek.
Seth
moaned slightly in his sleep, but did not wake.
Ryan then
leaned forward and gently grazed his lips over Seth’s, marveling over the
softness of Seth’s lips. When he pulled
back, brown eyes stared back at him, crinkling at the corners in a tender
smile.
“Hey,”
Seth murmured.
“Hey.”
“That
was...” Seth smiled.
“Yeah?”
Seth
merely nodded. He turned to his side so
they were facing each other. “Can we do
that again?”
“Yeah.”
Ryan
leaned forward and was met by Seth. Their
lips touched softly, broke apart and touched again. Ryan’s free hand slid up to cup Seth’s jaw,
fingers slowly sliding around to lace into dark curls. He felt Seth’s hand on his waist and groaned into
Seth’s mouth at the light contact.
The kiss
deepened slightly. Ryan opened his mouth
to suck on Seth’s upper lip while Seth instinctually opened his mouth and
playfully bit Ryan’s bottom lip. They
continued tasting and learning each other for several minutes until a horn
shocked them apart.
“Damn
it,” Seth cursed as he sat up and looked around. Seeing a yacht in the distance, he scrambled
up and over to hoist the sail.
“Just
when we were getting to the good part,” he leered at Ryan as the wind picked up
their sail and began to propel them through the water.
“That
wasn’t good?” Ryan asked mischievously.
“Oh, I
didn’t say that!” Seth wriggled his
eyebrows. “In fact, I’d say it was
better than good.”
“Yeah?”
“Oh,
yeah.”
“Good.”
“No. Better than good.”
Ryan
grinned and grabbed a soda from the cooler.
“Okay.”
* * * * *
True to
Seth’s word,
Thankfully
Seth had shown him the finer points of hoisting a sail and steering the
catamaran with the wind, but other than that, Ryan had no clue how to
sail. And in all honesty, he had no
desire to learn. Besides, why learn when
you’ve got a Seth? And he had his very
own Seth. So, really, who cares about
learning to sail?
They’d
gone out to the pool house after dinner to play a few games on the
PlayStation. Or so that’s what they had
told Sandy and Kirsten.
With the
curtains closed and the doors locked, they’d both stretched out on the bed
facing each other.
“So,”
Seth began. “Whaddya think of our first
date?”
“It was
nice,” Ryan answered, reaching out to grasp Seth’s hand. Holding hands was fast becoming one of Ryan’s
most favorite things to do with Seth.
He’d always enjoyed it in the past with Marissa and Lindsay and even
Theresa, but there was just something about holding Seth’s hand… he couldn’t
describe it.
“’Nice’,”
Seth repeated. “You’re starting to sound
like a parrot.”
Ryan
lifted an eyebrow. “Huh?”
“That’s
pretty much all you’ve said today, that ‘it was nice’.”
Ryan
smiled shyly. “Well, it is.”
“Yeah, I
guess it is.”
Ryan
leaned close, intimidatingly close,
nose-to-nose. “You guess?”
Seth
closed his eyes and pressed his lips to Ryan’s, causing Ryan to moan deep in
his throat. “It is way more than nice,”
Seth whispered against Ryan’s soft mouth, warm breath sliding over moist lips.
“Yeah,”
Ryan breathed.
It was as
if their kiss on the catamaran earlier that day had never ended. Ryan’s hand cupped Seth’s jaw, fingers
finding their way back into the curly depth while Seth’s free hand slid over
Ryan’s waist, pulling him closer.
Lips
parted and came together, parted and came together, slowly and softly over and
over. Tongues flicked out to taste
before retreating, teasing the other to follow.
After several minutes, Ryan reluctantly pulled back and gazed into the
contented face of his best friend.
Seth was
slow to open his eyes, but when he did, Ryan’s breath caught at the depth of
emotion he saw there.
Seth
grinned, eyes sparkling. “Okay, you
win. That was nice.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,”
he said a bit breathless.
They
stared at each other, caressing each other with their free hand – Ryan running
his hand through Seth’s hair over and over and Seth sliding his palm over and
around Ryan’s waist. Ryan watched as Seth
slid his hand up Ryan’s chest, black pupils overtaking dark brown irises. Both boys breath quickened until Seth leaned
forward and pushed his head against Ryan’s chest. He sighed deeply, then just as suddenly, Seth
rolled over on his back and groaned, closing his eyes.
Instantly
worried, Ryan asked, “What’s wrong?”
Seth twisted
his head to face Ryan. “I should go.”
Ryan
frowned. “Why?”
Seth
smiled and reached over to run a finger over Ryan’s bottom lip. “Cuz if I stay... that slow thing we talked
about? Not gonna happen.”
Ryan flicked
his eyes down to Seth’s groin and saw the swelling in his jeans. His eyes widened before returning Seth’s
grin. “Yeah, there is that.”
However,
Seth didn’t move. His eyes fixated on
Ryan’s bottom lip, which caused Ryan some swelling of his own.
“Seth?”
“Mmm?”
Ryan
leaned over and kissed Seth softly. “Are
you going?”
“Mmm-hmm.” Seth slipped his fingers into Ryan’s hair,
trying to bring him closer, lips nipping at the corner of Ryan’s mouth.
“Seth? Go?”
“Mmm.”
Ryan
unwillingly pushed gently against Seth’s chest, forcing them apart.
“Seth.”
Seth
closed his eyes and sighed heavily.
“Fine. Okay. Going.”
Ryan’s
lips curved up as he watched Seth not-move.
“Seth.”
Seth’s
eyes snapped open and he glared at Ryan.
“Okay! Okay! Okayokayokay!”
Ryan
laughed and sat up, dislodging their clasped fingers. “You’re the one who said he had to go.”
“You
didn’t have to agree with me,” Seth sulked.
“Jerk.”
Ryan
stood and moved around to the other side of the bed. “C’mon.”
He reached down and pulled Seth up, who purposefully staggered into
Ryan.
They
stood chest to chest, smirking at each other.
Seth leaned forward and was stopped by Ryan’s finger on his lips.
“Ryyyyannnnn,”
Seth whined.
“Se-eeeeeeth,”
Ryan mocked.
Seth
dropped his head to Ryan’s shoulder. “I
hate you.”
“I know,”
Ryan whispered in Seth’s ear. “I love
you, too.”
Bright
brown eyes snapped up and looked at Ryan.
“Yeah?”
Ryan
colored faintly pink. “Yeah.”
Seth
leaned forward and whispered in Ryan’s ear.
“I love you, too.” He then swiped
his tongue inside very quickly.
Ryan
shuddered. “You’re not going anywhere if
you keep doing that.”
Seth
grinned unrepentantly and quickly stepped back, moving towards the door. As he unlocked the door, he turned around. “Night.”
“Good night.”
And then
Seth was gone.
Ryan
walked over and peered out of from behind the curtain as Seth walked back to
the house. He waved when Seth turned
around before going inside.
Yeah,
today had been nice. Ryan smiled to
himself and got ready for bed.
Finis