Confessions in a Graveyard

By Jinx

Daniel sat at the table, nose firmly placed in the book that he had been reading for the past few hours. He wanted to get this book finished before the briefing tomorrow so he could tell Hammond what he thought the symbols on P5W-835 might mean. They looked vaguely familiar to him when the MALP’s first transmissions came through late last night, and he was sure he would figure it out if he poured over the several texts that lay before him on the table.

As Daniel turned the page, he barely acknowledged the feeling of someone behind him coming closer. Just as Daniel was automatically reaching out for his cup of coffee, a hand gently landed on his shoulder, startling him and causing him to spill the liquid. An elbow automatically sought out its target and a small ‘oof’ was heard in the quiet room.

“Damn it, Jack. I need to finish reading this before tomorrow. Take a cold shower or something,” he stated irritably, not in the mood for a horny colonel right now. He didn’t even look up from his book, but continued reading while absently flicking his other hand out to his side in a vain attempt to dry the coffee that had spilled over his fingers.

He quickly wiped his hand on his pants and reached out for his drink again, never once removing his eyes from the page.

He was completely unaware when the door to his apartment softly clicked shut.

*****

The room was almost dark when Daniel finally closed his last book. Sighing, he sat back and furrowed his eyebrows, frowning when he realized how dark it had become in the dining room. It was only… he checked his watch… five in the afternoon, but already it was getting dark. Ah, the joys of a Colorado autumn.

He blinked his tired eyes and brought one hand up to rub the sore orbs behind his glasses. God, he had been reading for almost eight hours straight. But he really did want to finish the books before tomorrow’s briefing.

Craning his neck left then right to get the kinks out, he slowly looked around for Jack.

“Jack?”

There was no answer.

The apartment was completely dark, not a light on anywhere. The television wasn’t even on.

That was strange. Daniel remembered Jack being there earlier in the day, but he was obviously not there now. He gave a brief thought on where Jack might have disappeared to when Daniel’s bladder made a sudden announcement that it was very, very full. With nothing but a pot of coffee all afternoon, Daniel was ready to explode.

Jumping up from the chair, he took off for the bathroom at a full run. His sigh of relief was heard echoing down the hallway. If anyone else had been in the apartment they might have chuckled at Daniel’s pleasure in peeing, but as it was, the only person that would have been present left hours ago.

Several long minutes later, Daniel came out of the bathroom with a deflated bladder and a dark frown. While relieving himself, he had started to wonder what had happened to Jack. He knew that Jack was there earlier. Hell, they had woken up together, though they barely had a few hours sleep: Daniel didn’t come to bed until very late (or early in the morning depending on who you talked to). He then got up very early to continue his research. He wanted to get done as early as possible today so that he and Jack could spend an actual evening together. Instead, Jack was MIA and Daniel had no clue where he could have gone… or why, for that matter.

Going over to the phone, he dialed Jack’s home. He listened with growing apprehension as the tone repeated itself over and over before the answering machine picked up.

Sighing, Daniel waited for the ‘beep’. “Hey, Jack! It’s me. Where are you? Where’d you take off to? Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving? Oh hell, I’ll try you on your cell. If you get this message in the meantime, call me.”

Punching the ‘flash’ button on the handle, Daniel dialed Jack’s cell phone, only to be greeted with Jack’s voice mail. He left the same message on the cell before trying the base. When he was informed that Colonel O’Neill hadn’t been to the base all day, Daniel began to worry. Well, that wasn’t quite right. He had already started worrying after not getting Jack at home. He was just reaching ‘panic’ when he couldn’t find Jack at the base. In a last ditch effort, Daniel left a message on Jack’s pager.

Exhausting all his options, Daniel put the phone back on the base and sat down heavily on his couch. His mind was whirling. Where did Jack go? More importantly, why? Or at the very least, why leave without telling him where he was going?

Daniel rubbed his hand over his face in a familiar Jack-gesture and sighed. Where could Jack be? The million dollar question of the day. Deciding that sitting on his couch and contemplating Jack’s whereabouts was going to get him nowhere, Daniel got up and grabbed his keys from the small table by the door. Grabbing a jacket from the closet, he locked his door and headed for the elevator in search for his wayward lover.

*****

An hour later, Daniel sat in his car outside Jack’s house, hands gripping the steering wheel as though he were wringing a certain colonel’s neck. He had checked Jack’s house several time as well as all the other places Jack might have gone to no avail.

What the fuck was going on? One minute Jack was at Daniel’s place and the next he was gone without a word. Daniel’s eyes squinted in anger and his frown deepened, bringing his brows together. Just as quickly as the anger appeared, it vanished as his brain provided him with what was most likely the answer. He remembered shooing Jack away early in the afternoon when it was clear that Jack was going to try to distract him.

He rolled his eyes. That couldn’t be it, surely. All he did was ask Jack to leave him alone for the afternoon. He should have known that Daniel couldn’t concentrate with Jack pestering him. He had to finish his research for god’s sake. He didn’t have time to mess around with Jack, even if he had wanted to.

No, Jack wouldn’t have taken off just because of that. Would he?

Sighing again, Daniel lay his head down on the steering wheel and closed his eyes. Now he was feeling guilty. Could something as simple as that push Jack away? Well, the only way to know that would be to find Jack and he was definitely not going to find Jack by sitting in his car outside of his lover’s house.

A few minutes passed and suddenly Daniel jerked his head up. No. Jack wouldn’t have gone there, would he? But now that the idea popped into his head, it wouldn’t go away. He knew that when Jack was really upset, he would go out to the cemetery and visit Charlie’s grave. He didn’t think Jack knew that he knew, but… it was worth a shot.

Deciding to make one last attempt at finding his wayward lover, Daniel started the car and pointed his car in the direction of the cemetery.

*****

As he slowly rounded the tight corner, the lights from his car lit up a large dark green truck. Jack’s large dark green truck. Several feet away from the pavement of the road sat a figure on the ground in front of a headstone. Daniel closed his eyes in relief. Thankful that he had finally found Jack, Daniel parked his car next to Jack’s. Now that he was here, however, he didn’t know what to do. He was extremely concerned that Jack had just upped and left this afternoon. And what made it worse was that he had no idea why. Jack never said a word when he left. Plus the fact that Jack was here in the first place could only mean that something major was wrong.

Sliding the keys out of the ignition, Daniel got out and shoved the keys into his pants pocket, moving towards the still figure on the ground.

Jack didn’t look up as Daniel approached which worried Daniel. It was obvious that the other man was upset. There was no other reason for Jack to be here unless he was hurting. And when Daniel got a few feet from Jack, he could see that Jack was sitting on his jacket, a half bottle of some kind of liquid between his legs. Alcohol most likely, Daniel thought briefly.

Daniel crouched down in front of his lover and sat on his knees. “Hey,” he whispered softly, reaching out a hand and placing it on Jack’s knee.

Jack looked up and Daniel sucked in a shaky breath. Jack’s eyes were bloodshot and full of unshed tears. He had never, in all the time they had been together, ever seen Jack like this.

He watched as Jack frowned, looking almost as though he didn’t know who Daniel was. Finally, Jack’s eyes cleared a bit and he gave Daniel a lop-sided, drunken smile.

“Hey, yourself.”

“Whatcha doing here?” Daniel asked, voice still very quiet. It was like talking to a spooked horse. He was afraid if he spoke too loud, Jack would bolt; or worse, clam up and not talk. But Daniel needed Jack to talk, needed to figure out what was going on.

Jack’s eyebrows came together and he pursed his lips in thought. After a few minutes, he pointed to the headstone with the hand that held the bottle of booze and said, “It’s where Charlie is.”

After a second, Jack looked up at Daniel and asked, “Whaya doin’ here?”

Daniel smiled softly. “It’s where you are.”

The relief at finding Jack culminated and he reached up to stroke Jack’s cheek. However, his hand stopped in mid-air and his smile faded as he watched Jack’s face contort from the drunken smile to a sadness he’d never seen before. He wanted to reach out and hold him, kiss him, take whatever pain Jack was feeling away, but Jack broke eye contact and looked down into his lap, severing the small link between the two men.

Daniel saw a shudder run through Jack’s body and realized that Jack must have been here a long time. And without his jacket on, he was probably very cold even through his thick denim jeans, so Daniel took off his coat and leaned over, placing it over Jack’s shoulders.

Jack shrugged the garment off.

“Jack,” Daniel chided softly. “It’s cold out here. Don’t want you to get sick, huh?”

“Too late,” Jack replied as Daniel tried to put the jacket back on the other man. Jack merely shrugged it off again. Sighing, Daniel removed the jacket from behind Jack and put it on the ground in front of the other man, sitting down. From the looks of things, they were going to be here a while.

After settling in, Daniel crossed his legs lotus style and folded his hands in his lap. “What does that mean?” he wondered out loud at Jack’s comment.

Jack merely pointed to the left of his chest, around where his heart is and said, “Here.”

Daniel swallowed hard. This was so much worse than he could ever have imagined, but he still didn’t know what was wrong, let alone what to do. Carefully, like speaking to a child, Daniel reached out and covered Jack’s hand over his heart and asked, “You feel sick here?”

Jack’s shaky head looked down at the hand covering his own and jerkily ripped his hand out from under Daniel’s. “Don’t. Please.”

Slowly retracting his hand from Jack’s chest and putting it back in his lap, Daniel cocked his head to the side and asked, “Jack. What’s wrong? What are you doing here?”

Silence hung heavy in the darkening cemetery. Finally, after several long minutes, Jack took a swig from the bottle he was holding tightly. “Needed tuh talk. Charlie always lissens when I need tuh talk.”

Though the words seemed innocent enough, being spoken from a drunken man, the meaning was not lost on Daniel, and he flushed with guilt. Whether or not Jack meant them in the context in which Daniel heard them was another thing, but it was too late: the words were said. It was obvious that whatever was upsetting Jack had to do with Daniel and a small pain began a slow burn in the pit of his stomach.

Swallowing hard and trying desperately to find the words, Daniel asked, “What did you need to talk about?”

One shoulder raised in a shrug. Jack took another drink and settled the bottle between his legs. “Juss a kiss,” Jack finally said.

Daniel, who had been playing with a piece of grass between his legs looked back up at Jack, confusion marring his features. “Kiss? What was just a kiss, Jack?”

“’S afternoon,” Jack replied. He looked up at Daniel and blinked slowly, the affects of the alcohol slowing him down and slurring his speech a bit.

“This afternoon?” Daniel was thoroughly confused now. Nothing happened this afternoon. Other than him trying to finish a book, everything was very quiet. Then he remembered. Jack had come to him and he had pushed him away thinking that Jack was just trying to distract him.

Ah, shit. Well, he’d fucked up royally.

“Right, here,” Jack continued not realizing that Daniel had been lost in thought for a few seconds. He was pointing to the corner of his eye. At least he was trying to point to the corner of his eye. With the bottle firmly gripped in his fist, the first jab almost landed in his eye. The second was a bit closer, but still off mark. Deciding the third time was close enough, Jack went on, “I wanned tuh kiss you right here, where your eye gets all crinkly when you’re thinking too much. You get so cute when you do that.” He dropped his hand and took another long drink before dropping the bottle between his legs again.

His other hand came up and started to rub at the spot on his chest where Daniel pushed him away. “But you didn’t wann me. Shoved me ‘way. So I left. Needed tuh… to think. T-talk to Charlie.”

Not realizing tears had gathered in his eyes until he shifted them away from Jack, Daniel sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He didn’t realize Jack would be so hurt by what he had said. However, when he thought about it again, if Jack merely wanted to kiss Daniel and Daniel shoved him away with instructions to take a cold shower… Daniel would probably have felt hurt, too. He had effectively turned a sweet gesture of a kiss on the cheek to ‘you’re-horny -- quit-thinking-about-sex -- go-away’. Talk about making someone feel cheap.

Daniel closed his eyes, not wanting to see the pain on Jack’s face. However, when he opened them again and looked at Jack, there was not only the look of hurt feelings, but resigned sadness that seemed to envelope Jack’s very being.

Daniel sighed. He didn’t think that Jack would react like this. Hell, he didn’t think that he did anything at the time. But that was the problem… he didn’t think. He did that a lot… not thinking. At least not about things that mattered, like other peoples feelings.

He snorted lightly to himself. What he needed was a stiff drink. He looked over at Jack. He had the right idea.

Daniel leaned forward and gently put his fingers around the neck of the bottle just under Jack’s hand.

Jack was not relinquishing his grip and was determined to keep the bottle, perhaps afraid that Daniel would dump it?

Daniel let go and leaned back. “Can I have some?”

Jack looked up at Daniel and frowned. “’S mine.”

Daniel couldn’t hold back a small smile. Jack sounded so much like a little kid defending his property. He always thought Jack was cute when he acted like a child. The smile disappeared almost as quickly as it came, however, when Daniel remembered that Jack was also hurt and in pain.

And it was his fault.

“I know,” Daniel answered softly. “But will you share? Please?”

Jack regarded Daniel for a moment before hesitantly lifting the bottle, offering his drink to the younger man.

Daniel took it, his hand brushing Jack’s as he wrapped his fingers around the bottle’s neck. After taking a drink, his eyes widened and he breathed out a long, harsh breath. What the hell was this stuff? He looked down at the label: Jameson’s Irish Whiskey. Daniel blinked a few times and shrugged. Pretty good for whiskey he decided before taking another drink and passing the bottle back to Jack.

“Jack,” Daniel began, clearing his throat of the strong booze. “Jack, I am so sorry for this afternoon. I just wanted to get all that reading done early so we could have the rest of the evening together. I didn’t mean to…what?” In the middle of Daniel’s speech, Jack started shaking his head.

“No.”

“Huh?” Daniel didn’t understand why Jack was denying Daniel’s words.

“No. It wasn’t just today. It’s all the time,” Jack stated glumly. However, his mood changed in an instant and he continued in a lighter tone, “But that’s okay Charlie helped me figure it out.” Jack looked up at Daniel and smiled. It didn’t reach his eyes, but Daniel didn’t know if that was from the alcohol or something else.

“Jack,” Daniel started, leaning forward and putting a hand on Jack’s knee. “I don’t understand. What’s ‘all the time’? What has Charlie helped you figure out?”

Jack looked at Daniel and Daniel caught his breath. Love was clearly written all over Jack’s face. Clearer than he had ever seen in all the time they had been together. It wasn’t as if Jack never showed him he loved him. Hell, Jack told him all the time and showed him every time they touched. But this… this love… it was almost overwhelming. And underlying the love was pain. Pain and hurt that Daniel was sure he had only seen on Jack’s face once. It was back on Abydos on their first mission when Daniel had confronted Jack about the real reason for the mission. Jack had said that ‘no one should outlive their own child’. It was then that he first became aware that Jack had a lot of hidden pain; and the death of his child was only one of many.

But this time, the pain in Jack’s face was because of him. He had put that look there.

“Jack. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s going on.” Daniel’s voice shook as he spoke, but continued. “I love you, but you’re scaring me, here. I…Jack?” He stopped in mid-sentence at the look on Jack’s face.

Jack’s eyes had widened and his mouth dropped open. The tears that had glittered in his eyes since Daniel first found him spilled over. It was just one tear from his left eye, but it was enough.

“Jack? What’s wrong? Jack, please, talk to me.” Daniel’s voice quavered and he quickly got to his knees and crawled over to Jack, placing a hand on Jack’s leg. “Please, Jack, you’re scaring me.”

“You can’t mean that,” Jack whispered, eyes still wide with shock and disbelief.

“What?” Daniel shook his head and frowned. “I don’t love you? Of course I do. Why would you think otherwise?”

“I’ve never heard you… I mean, you’ve never…” He clamped his mouth shut and continued to look at Daniel like he was some alien life form just sprung to life in front of him.

Daniel opened his mouth to say something when Jack stood up pacing, taking the bottle with him. He started talking again, almost to himself, waving the bottle around as he spoke. “No, this isn’t right. This makes everything harder. You can’t…” He stopped in front of Charlie’s headstone. “He never said… Not once. Well, not after that first time. I can’t. I…” He cocked his head like he was listening to someone. Suddenly his shoulders sagged and he bowed his head.

Jack’s mannerisms were scaring Daniel and he stood and stepped up to Jack tentatively placing a hand on Jack’s shoulder. Jack turned around so fast that Daniel dropped his hand, and he watched as Jack took several steps backward until he was standing on his jacket.

Slowly, like walking to a frightened animal, Daniel took a small step toward Jack and another and another until the two men were little more than a foot apart. “Jack, please, tell me what’s going on. What’s harder? I don’t understand Jack and you’re scaring me here. What’s not right?”

“I…” Jack began. His eyes were wide and tear-filled. He slumped down on his jacket, bowing his head. “I just can’t compete with…” he waved his free hand in the air.

“With what, Jack?” Daniel asked softly as he knelt down beside his distraught lover, placing a hand on Jack’s thigh, rubbing lightly.

Jack looked up at Daniel through his tear-spiked lashes. “I’m not an artifact, Danny. I can’t compete with all your other stuff.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I practically have to make an appointment to be with you when you’re with your rocks and things.”

The light was slowly beginning to dawn for Daniel, but he needed to be sure. “Jack, I…”

“No!” Jack shouted, holding up an unsteady hand. “All I wanted,” he continued so softly that Daniel had to lean forward to hear him. “All I wanted was to kiss you right here.” Jack lightly pressed a finger to the corner of Daniel’s eye. The touch was so soft that Daniel was moved by its gentleness. “That was all. Nothing more.” Jack’s chocolate brown eyes shown brightly in the impending moonlight as they filled with tears again.

The two men gazed at each other, eyes locked. They were so close, Daniel could have closed the distance and kissed Jack. He wanted to. Wanted to soothe the pain away, but he was afraid that Jack would push him away. Push him away like he pushed Jack away this afternoon.

Daniel turned his eyes away first and bowed his head, leaning back from Jack, sitting on his heels. He was unable to continue looking in his lover’s sad eyes. Guilt was tearing away at him for causing Jack this much heartache. He finally knew what he did this afternoon was not just the cause of what was happening now but the catalyst of all the times in the past that he had pushed Jack away. It just never occurred to him that Jack would take his rejection this hard. But Daniel knew, if the roles had been reversed, he would be feeling the same way.

Thinking back, he had felt small rejections here and there when Jack was overly busy with military meetings and trainings and paperwork. But it was all part and parcel of their jobs: something that came with being affiliated with the SGC. However, Jack made it a point to know when to say when. It was very rare that he would work overtime unless it was imperative, and it was only during those times that General Hammond would make his 2IC stay late. Daniel, on the other hand, didn’t know when to stop. It was always, ‘just one more hour, Jack’ or ‘I have to get this translation done for SG-5, Jack’. Even when Jack reminded him that he wasn’t the only archaeologist in the SGC, Daniel still felt like he needed to do the majority of the work.

Daniel looked up as he heard Jack sigh. There was so much sadness in that sigh that Daniel wanted to kick himself for letting the moment slip away.

“I just can’t do this anymore, Danny.”

The quiet words slammed into Daniel and his eyes widened in shock. What was Jack saying? They were over? No. He wouldn’t allow that. He had to think of something quick. There was no way Daniel was going to let Jack go. Not without a fight!

“Yes, you can,” Daniel announced vehemently. “We can. I screwed up, Jack. I won’t let it happen again. I’m so sorry.”

Jack merely shook his head. “No, Danny, it doesn’t work that way.”

Daniel frowned. The slurred speech of a drunken man was suddenly replaced by the words of a rational man. Well, as rational as Jack could be with 2/3 of a bottle of whiskey inside of him.

Jack continued. “You have no control over it. You are who you are and I love you just the way you are. You can’t say it won’t happen again because we both know that it will.”

“Jack…”

“No, Daniel. You are an archaeologist. A linguist. A scholar. It’s who and what you are. I could no more make you change who you are than I can change who I am… military.”

“Jack, please. I don’t understand. Who’s saying anything about changing who we are? I don’t want you to change. Jack. Please. I will do anything. I… I can’t lose you! Damn it, Jack. Tell me what I have to do!” Tear welled up in Daniel’s eyes—tears of frustration and overwhelming fear.

“You don’t have to do anything, Danny. I just… I can’t do this anymore.”

“Jack, please. I love you.”

Jack thrust out a hand. “S-s-stop,” Jack stuttered. “Stop saying that.”

“Why?” Daniel asked brows furrowed. “That’s the second time tonight you…” realization finally dawned. “Jesus, Jack. You actually think…Don’t you know?” Daniel stared at Jack and understood for the first time what his silence had cost them.

Daniel had always been cautious with using any kind of words of affection; especially to those he loved the most. After his parents died, he had always been afraid to tell anyone close to him that he loved them for fear that they would leave him like his parents did. Not getting close to anyone was a way of protecting himself. And he thought he was emotionally safe until he had met Jack. He even stayed behind on Abydos hoping to forget the man who managed to burrow his way into Daniel’s heart. But that didn’t help. Even though he was with Sha’re, that didn’t stop him from thinking about Jack. Constantly.

Then a few years later, Jack returned to bring Daniel home. And a year and a half later, Jack told him that he loved Daniel. And the rest was history.

Until tonight.

From the looks of things, keeping his mouth shut was going to make their relationship history if he didn’t do something about it soon. His silence, his poor attempt to protect his heart from admitting to love that normally and inevitably would lead to disappointment and pain had, in effect, told Jack that Daniel didn’t love him.

Jack couldn’t have been further from the truth.

Now to convince him of that.

Daniel knelt up and crawled over to Jack, kneeling on the other man’s jacket, knees against his thigh. He reached out to take Jack’s hand, but Jack refused to let go of his bottle. So, Daniel wrapped his fingers around Jack’s, bringing his other hand up and resting it on Jack’s leg, stroking softly.

“Jack. I. Love. You. I know I don’t say it as often as I should.” At Jack’s incredulous look, Daniel amended, “Okay, I don’t say it at all, and I’m sorry. I have no excuse and I hurt you. I’m so sorry. Please, please,” Daniel leaned forward, taking his hand off Jack’s bottle-hand and reached up to cup Jack’s face: his thumb gently tracing Jack’s upper cheek. “Please don’t do this. I love you so much.”

Jack sat slacked-jaw and wide-eyed on the ground; hand gripping the whiskey bottle with so much force, Daniel thought it might shatter in his hands.

“You can’t mean that,” Jack’s soft voice whispered in the darkness.

“Ya wanna bet?” Daniel leaned forward and gently brushed his lips across Jack’s.

Jack jerked his head back. He didn’t get very far as Daniel had moved his hand from Jack’s cheek to the back of his head. “Don’t. Please,” he breathed.

“Jack, I mean it.”

Jack pushed backwards and stumbled into a standing position. He backed up several paces and looked down at Daniel. “Daniel…”

Daniel slowly stood up and advanced on Jack, nearly tripping on Jack’s coat. His foot stepped on something hard and he looked down thinking it was Jack’s whiskey bottle. His eyes widened when he saw the .45 that had been under Jack’s jacket.

Head snapping up, Daniel glared at Jack for an instant before bending over and picking up the gun. The love and concern that had consumed Daniel a moment ago was instantly replaced by a blinding insane fury.

Daniel’s mouth went dry and he clinched his empty fist over and over not sure if the anger he felt was at himself or Jack. His entire body was shaking with suppressed rage when he said, “What the fuck is this, Jack?!”

Jack took another step backwards, fear radiating from the drunk man.

“What the hell were you planning on doing with this, Jack? Hmm?!” Jack just looked at him. “Answer me, damn it!”

Jack flinched at the vehement anger in Daniel’s voice. “I wasn’t…”

“Then what the hell is it doing here? Here, while you’re fucking stupid-drunk?!” Daniel had advance on Jack and the two men ended up standing toe to toe. Jack, however, was looking down at the gun in Daniel’s hand while Daniel was glaring at the top of Jack’s head.

Before Jack could blink, Daniel had the clip out of the base of the handle and the bullet cocked out of the chamber. Both clip and bullet were shoved in his front pocket and the gun was shoved in the waist at his back. Then before he would allow Jack to register what he’d done, Daniel had grabbed Jack by his upper arms and shook him… hard.

“You stupid asshole! What the fuck is going on in that head of yours?!” He continued to shake the older man: his anger not only at what could have happened if he hadn’t found Jack in time but specifically at himself. “You son of a bitch! Do you honestly think that would have solved anything?!”

“It wouldn’t hurt anymore,” Jack whispered so softly it was barely a breath. But it was enough to stop Daniel from shaking the hell out of Jack.

Anger instantly drained from Daniel’s body and he stood motionless, staring at Jack, his hands still clasping Jack’s biceps in a crushing grip. “It would hurt me,” Daniel replied just as soft. And before Jack could say a word, he continued. “Remember how you felt after Charlie…?” Jack nodded his head. “That would be me, if you…”

One tear from Daniel’s right eye fell and coursed down the valley by his nose and spread out over the top of his lip. “That would be me, you stupid fuck.” The tear on his lips spraying out as he quietly repeated his previous words. He gave Jack one more shake before bowing his head, butting the top of his head against Jack’s chest; fingers still clutching Jack’s arms in a bruising grip.

Movement from Jack caused Daniel to look up and he watched as Jack slowly took one small step forward towards Daniel, bringing the two men into a full body contact before laying his head on the other man’s shoulder. “’M sorry,” Jack croaked, swallowing. He leaned hard on Daniel and the younger man wrapped his arms around Jack tightly. Not only to hold Jack up, but himself as well. He began stroking one hand over Jack’s broad back while the other cradled Jack’s head against his shoulder.

“Jesus, Jack,” Daniel whispered almost to himself, squeezing Jack closer to himself. “How could you think…?” He stopped in mid-sentence trying to find the words. He shook his head. “Never mind, I know. I was an asshole. God! I can’t believe how I nearly destroyed you…us. Who’s the stupid fuck in this relationship, huh?” Daniel continued to caress Jack’s back, the fingers of the other hand began to thread through the short grey hair.

“You?” A very soft voice answered in the vicinity of Daniel’s left shoulder.

“Yeah,” Daniel answered solemnly. “Hey! Wait a minute!” Daniel leaned back when what Jack had said finally registered. When he saw the sloppy, drunken, red-eyed, wet-faced half smile, Daniel decided he had never seen Jack look crappier, but yet so fucking beautiful.

Not able to resist, Daniel pulled Jack’s head back to him and hugged the grey head to him, nuzzling the side of Jack’s face.

“Jerk,” Daniel muttered affectionately, tightening his hold on his drunken lover. Jack merely nodded his head.

The two men stood together a few feet from Charlie’s grave in the cold and dark of the evening, one holding the other before a shudder rippled through Jack. A moment later another tremor and another until Jack’s frame vibrated almost constantly, something that Daniel hadn’t really noticed with all the emotions running between them.

Moving back just enough to look at Jack, Daniel slid his hands from Jack’s back to his arms again, briskly rubbing up and down Jack’s biceps. “God, Jack. How long have you been out here?”

Jack shrugged and swayed with the movements of Daniel’s hands. “Dunno. An hour or so after I left your apartment.”

“What?! God, Jack, you’re gonna get pneumonia and then what am I supposed to tell Hammond, hmm?” Bending over to retrieve Jack’s coat, Daniel threaded Jack’s arms through the jacket and buttoned the front. He stepped back to grab his own coat and threw it over Jack’s shoulders. Now that the adrenaline had dissipated, Daniel was finally noticing just how cold it was out here. And Jack had been here since this afternoon? Jesus! If Jack didn’t get sick it would be a miracle!

Daniel stepped over to Jack to guide him to his car. The emotions of a few moments ago were quickly replaced with the need to get Jack warm. They definitely had a lot to talk about. But first, he needed to get Jack home, or at least to a warmer climate. His car would do for the moment.

“Come on, Jack. Let’s go home. ‘Kay?” He ducked his head to make eye contact with Jack. “Okay?”

Jack nodded and started to follow Daniel away before he stopped abruptly and turned around to look at Charlie’s headstone. The two men stood quietly for a few moments before Jack bent over and picked up his bottle. “Thank you,” he whispered before turning around and letting Daniel lead him to the car.

The second Daniel had Jack strapped into his car he turned his heater on full blast, aiming all the vents toward the other man.

The drive to Jack’s house was spent in quiet contemplation for Daniel. He thought at one moment that Jack might have drifted to sleep, but looking over at his quiet lover just as another car passed showed Jack’s eyes open: his head was leaning up against the window and he was gazing out into the passing darkness.

A half an hour later, Daniel pulled up into Jack’s driveway and turned off the ignition. Getting out, he moved around to the other side of the car. Jack was still sitting with his head against the window, staring outside and not moving. Carefully, Daniel opened Jack’s door, reaching out a hand to brace Jack’s shoulder, making sure Jack didn’t fall out. As the door opened completely, Jack shifted his weight from the door to Daniel, leaning against the other man.

Daniel sighed and briefly closed his eyes at the trust Jack was showing him. Even after all the shit Jack had gone through that day, trusting Daniel was second nature and Daniel swore up and down and sideways right then and there that he would never betray that trust again. He’d quit the Stargate Program before he fucked up like he did this afternoon.

Squatting on the balls of his feet, Daniel got Jack’s seatbelt unbuckled and turned Jack around so his legs were now hanging outside the car. “We’re here, Jack,” Daniel said softly, caressing Jack’s cheek as he spoke.

“Tired,” Jack answered, leaning forward to rest his forehead on Daniel’s shoulder.

Daniel slid his hand around Jack’s skull, gently threading his fingers through Jack’s hair. “I know. Come inside. Let’s get you to bed.”

“’Kay,” Jack replied but didn’t move.

Daniel smiled fondly before gripping Jack around the arms. A small flinch from the other man did not go un-noticed and Daniel relaxed his hold and moved his hands to under Jack’s armpits, guiding the other man into a standing position. Jack was most likely bruised from Daniel’s earlier shaking, and another spark of guilt coursed through the younger man. He reluctantly pushed it away. He needed to deal with one thing at a time and getting Jack into the house was most important right now. He would wallow in self-disgust later.

“Ready?”

Jack nodded but still leaned heavily on Daniel as the younger man slammed the car door with his hip and steered them both toward the front door.

Getting Jack up the stairs was yet another hurdle to conquer, but Daniel did it with a minimum of fuss. He quickly stripped Jack of his clothing and bundled him under the covers.

Sitting on the side of the bed after tucking Jack in, Daniel sighed and just watched his lover breathe. The other man had curled himself on his side and lay curled around Daniel, one hand wrapping itself around Daniel’s thigh. Jack snuggled his head against Daniel’s leg and quickly fell into an alcohol induced sleep.

Daniel rested a hand on Jack’s head and slowly began running his fingers through Jack’s hair soothingly, thoughts of what could have happened darting through his mind.

He shifted on the bed and a weight at his back reminded him of the gun. He quickly yanked it out from his waist and shoved it in the top drawer of the nightstand. The bullets in his pockets stayed where they were. He didn’t think Jack would do anything now, but… better to be safe.

After he settled back, he looked down at Jack and he thought for the first time what Jack was like when they first met. When he first returned from Abydos, he had nowhere to go. Jack brought him home with him, where he stayed for several weeks before finding his apartment.

It was during his stay that Jack had told him what he was doing the day the Air Force came to his house to re-instate him. Just the idea of Jack sitting on his son’s bed contemplating suicide told Daniel the fragile state of Jack’s mind; not only on that first mission, but in general. And yet, his impatience got the best of him this afternoon and was the finally contributing factor that spiraled Jack into another emotional spin, throwing his lover into a state he hadn’t been in since Charlie had died.

He knew what Jack was capable of. He just never thought he would ever see it. He knew the older man had come close on several occasions. Between the Ree’tou-made boy, Charlie, and all the other children SG-1 had encountered on their missions, Daniel could see the pain in Jack’s eyes every single time: memories of Charlie and Jack’s feelings of failure just barely under the surface whenever a child crossed their path.

But apparently those emotions where also closely guarded on the surface when it came to Daniel. Daniel’s lack of communication, like saying a simple ‘I love you’, nearly cost Daniel his best friend; not just emotionally, but physically as well. He could not imagine what it would feel like to know that you were the cause, whether inadvertent or not, for some ones death. Or rather more importantly… for a loved ones death.

Okay, sure there was his parents death. But even he knew that he was just a child and there was nothing he could have done about that. Besides, that was an accident. If Jack had… god, thinking about it was just too much. But if Jack had decided to… and had succeeded, what would that have done to Daniel? While it was true that at the time he didn’t know what had caused Jack to take off in the first place, he would have figured it out eventually and what would he have done then? Knowing that a few simple words could have prevented a death?! It would have killed him. Just as knowing that a simple locked drawer could have prevented a child from playing with a gun and killing himself. Only in this case, Daniel had prevented the deed from happening, and he planned on changing things with this newfound knowledge.

First and foremost, he was going to tell Jack he loved him. A lot. All the time. He was going to say it so damned much at Jack was gonna get sick of hearing it. Though, if truth be told… Jack said it to Daniel a lot and he never got sick of hearing it. But it was time that Daniel reciprocated.

Things needed to change… with the both of them. While Daniel needed to start telling Jack he loved him, Jack was going to have to have to start talking to Daniel.

Daniel smiled to himself and shook his head. Getting Jack to talk about his feelings…? Fighting an entire fleet of Goa’uld would be easier. It would be tough for both of them. But Daniel knew they would work it out.

They were worth it.

Feeling his eyes start to droop from the emotional intensity of the day, Daniel carefully extricated Jack’s hand from his thigh and moved off the bed. Daniel stood by the bed and watched as Jack frowned in his sleep, his hand searching for Daniel’s leg.

He stood mesmerized, watching Jack grope the bed for his missing mate. While he was pleased that Jack was missing his presence, it wasn’t until Jack moaned and flipped over on his back, frown deepening that Daniel rousted himself and quickly undressed. He needed to be with Jack, near Jack: if not only for his lover who was becoming increasingly restless with the loss of his presence, but for himself as well.

Flicking off the light and shucking off his clothes in the fastest possible time, Daniel practically flew to the other side of the bed and crawled in, planting himself firmly against Jack’s side. The immediate contact with Jack instantly quieted the other man and Jack turned back on his side allowing Daniel to spoon up against the older man’s back. Daniel felt Jack sigh with contentment and lean back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around Jack, pulling him closer and sighed in satisfaction himself when he felt one of Jack’s hands grip his arm.

Daniel rested his cheek against Jack’s head and closed his eyes.

Yeah, they were definitely worth it.

******

Morning came quickly and Daniel peeled his eyes open, glancing around the brightly lit bedroom. He stretched his body and yawned widely, hands searching out for his lover.

His arms landed on cold, empty sheets.

Turning his head quickly at where Jack should be, Daniel suddenly remembered yesterday and jumped out of bed.

“Jack?!” Panic gripped him and Daniel rushed out of the room and almost smacked into Jack, who was coming out of the bathroom, toothbrush still inserted in his mouth.

“Huh?” The other man managed, white foam circling his lips.

Daniel stopped and sighed heavily. Seeing Jack alive and whole filled him with so much relief, he couldn’t stop himself and Daniel grabbed Jack around the waist, squeezing tight.

“Love you,” he murmured into Jack’s neck.

He felt Jack tense before quickly relaxing. He looked up just in time to feel Jack wind an arm around Daniel’s waist.

Daniel smiled and was rewarded with a small smile from Jack: a rather foamy, lopsided smile complete with toothbrush sticking out from his lips. Daniel decided he had never seen Jack look so endearing.

And it didn’t help that along with the white ring around Jack’s mouth Jack was wearing his favorite hockey jersey and boxer shorts. And to top it all off, his hair was sticking up at all angles.

It was definitely giving Daniel major feelings of possessiveness.

Taking the bull by the horns, as it were, Daniel felt the need to voice his love to Jack again: this time, however, looking Jack straight in the eye so there could be no question. “I love you, Jack.”

Jack quickly broke eye contact and he looked down at the floor. He fumbled for the toothbrush still in his mouth and scrubbed at his teeth a few times before Daniel gently hooked a finger under Jack’s chin and raised his face. “I love you, Jack,” Daniel reiterated. “Get used to this… I’m going to be saying it a lot from now on. I’ve got a lot of time to make up for.”

Taking the brush out of his mouth, Jack adverted his eyes from Daniel’s and murmured, “Okay.”

Cupping Jack’s face between his hands, Daniel forced Jack to look at him. He waited as Jack’s eyes shifted everywhere, finally landing on Daniel’s face, then up to his eyes. “I mean it, Jack. A lot. All the time. Forever,” he whispered before brushing his lips against Jack’s.

Both men pulled away quickly. They had forgotten about the toothpaste. Daniel licked his lips and tasted the mint as Jack made a face and wrinkled his nose. “Gross,” Jack commented.

Daniel grinned. “Gross? Jack, we’ve swap worse body fluids than this. What’s so gross about toothpaste?”

Jack’s grimace took over his face, but he remained silent, merely shaking his head in mock-disgust. He turned to go back into the bathroom only to have Daniel attach himself against Jack’s back, wrapping his arms around Jack’s waist.

Jack stopped momentarily, tension holding his body taut. He turned his head around and looked at Daniel… hard.

“What?” Daniel asked, chin propped on Jack’s shoulder.

Jack shrugged. “Uh, this…” he started hesitantly, waving the toothbrush in the air.

“Get used to it, Jack,” Daniel stated emphatically.

“Really?” Jack asked kind of shyly.

That took Daniel aback for a moment. Was he so parsimonious with his affections that Jack had a hard time believing that Daniel was serious about showing his lover that he loved him? He closed his eyes for a moment, fully realizing for the first time the depth of his past actions. Jack was actually having a hard time believing that Daniel was willing to change. What does that say about me? Daniel thought.

He opened his eyes and cocked his head to the side, resting his cheek on Jack’s shoulder to see Jack better. “Yes, really,” he said. “Got a problem with that?”

“Um, no. Not really.”

Daniel frowned. Taking a step back, he turned Jack around so they were face to face. “Not really?”

Jack shrugged.

Daniel gently took a hold of Jack’s upper arms. It was a slight brush of skin on skin, but it was enough to cause Jack to flinch. The look of pain that crossed Jack’s face was like hot coals to the younger man and Daniel snatched his hands back, stepping away from the other man: a look of self-recrimination crossing his face.

Mentally shaking himself, Daniel moved forward again and raised the sleeves of Jack’s jersey. Bruises in the exact shape of Daniel’s fingers were wrapped around Jack’s biceps; reds and dark purples decorated the skin.

“Jesus, Jack. I did that?” Daniel asked in disbelief. He was stunned that he could inflict that much damage on his lover.

Jack looked down at his arms and then up to Daniel. Shrugging, he answered, “I deserved it.”

Anger stormed Daniel’s blue eyes and he glared at Jack. “Like hell you did! I can’t believe I did this! I hurt you, Jack.” When Jack didn’t reply, Daniel’s anger eased as fast as it appeared. “In more ways than one, huh?”

Jack shrugged again but remained silent.

Gently cupping Jack’s face again, Daniel thumbed the other man’s cheeks. “Never again, Jack. I promise.”

Jack tried to pull away, not wanting to hear the lie. “Don’t.”

But Daniel wouldn’t let him turn away. “What?” Daniel asked softly.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

Grasping Jack’s face slightly tighter, but not hard enough to hurt, Daniel pierced the other man with his eyes. “This I’ll keep, Jack. Trust me,” Daniel pleaded with his eyes, head nodding slightly. “Please.”

Jack swallowed. “Okay.”

Daniel brought Jack’s head down to kiss the other man’s forehead. “Thank you,” he whispered against the warm skin.

Frowning, Daniel pulled back and looked at Jack.

“What?” Jack asked after being scrutinized for several seconds.

“You’re sick,” Daniel replied. He moved one hand up to feel Jack’s forehead.

“I’m fine.”

“Bullshit!” Daniel answered. “Go finish brushing your teeth, but then you’re going back to bed.”

“Daniel, we have to go in today.”

Daniel was already pushing Jack towards the bathroom. “I’ll call Hammond and tell him your sick.”

“Daniel,” Jack began, stopping just under the doorframe.

Suddenly, Daniel lost his patience. “Damn it, Jack. Take a fucking day off for once in your life! You’re sick! I doubt the SGC will shut down if you don’t make it in for one measly day!”

Seeing the shock on Jack’s face caused Daniel’s mouth to snap shut. “Sounds like you should take you own advise,” Jack said with resignation. He turned around and went into the bathroom.

Daniel closed his eyes and sighed. While what Jack said had hurt, it was what was at the root of their problem. That you should, Jackson, he snapped at himself.

Groaning, he closed his eyes before continuing. “Shit, Jack. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I…”

The adrenaline from last night was still obviously pumping furiously through Daniel’s veins.

Jack stopped with his back towards Daniel and sighed. He finished brushing his teeth and turned back, stepping up to Daniel. Raising a hand to cup Daniel’s cheek, Jack said, “It’s okay. I understand. But I still can’t stay home today. We’ve got that briefing and then…”

An idea suddenly formed in Daniel’s mind.

“And then I’ll tell Hammond you’re sick and he’ll send you to the infirmary and then Janet will send you home.” Daniel was quite pleased with himself and he grinned at Jack.

Jack squinted and glared at Daniel, but there was little anger in his look. “You wouldn’t.”

Daniel arched a brow. “No?”

Jack sighed and his shoulders slumped against the wooden frame. “Little bastard,” he muttered as he returned to the sink.

Daniel smiled and stood in the doorway, watching Jack finish his absolutions before turning towards the stairway.

Coffee, coffee… need coffee now, Daniel’s mind chanted as he went downstairs.

******

Daniel was true to his word and was scowled upon by his lover as they sat in the briefing room; Daniel telling Hammond that Jack was not feeling well.

Apparently however, Daniel needn’t have said anything because Hammond had taken one look at his 2IC and ordered him to the infirmary.

Daniel forced his mind on the general’s questions, trying to remember all that he had read the day before. However, thoughts and memories of yesterday evening impended on his ability to report effectively and Hammond had to prompt him several times throughout the meeting.

After several questions from both the general and Carter, the mission to P5W-835 was approved as soon as Colonel O’Neill was feeling better. In the meantime, SG-1 was on stand-down pending Doctor Fraiser’s report.

The report was quick in coming. SG-1 was barely out of the room when Janet entered with her report: Colonel O’Neill would be out of commission for a minimum of three days. His lungs had a small amount of fluid and he was to be pumped full of antibiotics and rest at home.

The last was heard with a sigh of relief from Daniel. He was not happy to hear that his lover was ill. However, the fact that he was not sick enough to stay in the infirmary for the three days was exactly what Daniel wanted to hear.

Practically running to his office, Daniel gathered up enough work to make it look like he would be keeping busy for the next three days and headed to Jack’s office. The work was just a front, however. He had other plans for the next three days. Plans that definitely did not include work whatsoever.

Jack was not in his office when Daniel got there, so he called the infirmary from Jack’s office to see if his lover was still there. He was. So Daniel gathered up his books and papers and headed out the door.

******

When Daniel arrived, Jack was lying on the bed eyes closed. Daniel quietly moved towards Jack and was startled when Jack popped his eyes open. Once Jack realized who was standing so close to him, he narrowed his lids and glared at the younger man.

“What?” Daniel asked alarmed. He didn’t understand why Jack was staring at him so angrily.

“Fraiser gave me a shot, Daniel.” When Daniel didn’t reply, Jack elaborated. “In my ass!”

Daniel pressed his lips together and bit the inside of his cheek in an attempt to keep the smile from his face. Jack didn’t like shots in the best of times. And he really hated shots in his butt.

Trying very hard not to laugh, Daniel said, “But you’re sick, Jack.”

“Not in my ass!” Jack replied slowly sitting up, keeping his weight off his left hip. “Why can’t she give me a shot in the arm like normal doctors.”

Daniel leaned forward and whispered in Jack’s ear. “Maybe it’s an excuse to see…” Daniel leered in the direction of Jack’s part of the anatomy in question, raising his eyebrows up and down. “Maybe she likes what she sees.”

Jack’s head jerked back and he glared at Daniel. Daniel was grinning like an idiot and he gave up trying to hold back his laughter. It felt good to laugh even just this little bit. He always like Jack like this: his inner child shining through like a beacon on a dark night.

“Bastard,” Jack stated.

“I know I do,” Daniel added waggling his eyebrows again.

Just then, Fraiser entered the room. “Ready to go, Colonel?”

“More than life itself, doc,” Jack answered, jumping off the bed.

Janet smiled. “Then get out. I don’t want to see you back here for three days.” She turned to Daniel. “Could you stay for a second?”

Daniel turned to Jack. “I’ll meet you at the car.”

Jack shrugged. “Okay.”

Once Jack had left, Janet turned to Daniel, her face serious and laced with quite a bit of anger.

“What’s up?”

“You mind telling me how the Colonel got those bruises on his arms?” The accusation hung in the air.

Daniel looked down at the books in his hands before looking up at the doctor. His face set, he stonily replied. “Yes. I do mind.”

Fraiser’s brows arched towards her hairline. She quickly narrowed her eyes. But before she could reply, Daniel continued, voice much more soft than before. “Janet, please. Jack and I are just going through some stuff right now. It was an accident.”

Janet was not placated. “The damage is quite extensive for ‘an accident’, Daniel.”

Daniel sighed and bit the inside of his lip from anger this time, not from mirth. “Janet, look…if I were to tell you what happened, you would not only be reporting me, but Jack as well. You want to do that?!”

Her eyes widened momentarily. “Did he hurt you?”

“NO!” Daniel practically yelled. Looking around the room to see if anyone else was present, Daniel turned back to Janet and lowered his voice. “No, Janet nothing like that, I swear. It’s just…” He looked at her defiantly, shaking his head. “I’m not going to get into this with you, Janet. I’m sorry. It’s none of your business.”

Narrowing her eyes, Dr. Fraiser replied, “Like hell it isn’t, Daniel.”

Silence fell between them for a few moments. Finally Daniel said, “I’m not going to let you hurt him, Janet.”

Fraiser snorted lightly. “Looks like you did that already.”

Not backing down whatsoever, Daniel towered over her and answered. “Yes, I did. And it won’t happen again.”

She regarded Daniel for a second. “See that you don’t. If I find anything like this again…” she left the threat hanging.

“You won’t,” Daniel promised.

She stared at Daniel for a moment longer, trying to judge his sincerity. “Fine,” she decided. Turning, she gathered a few pill bottles and handed them to the young man. “Make sure he takes these. Every single one,” she announced. “Understand?”

Daniel nodded his head. Before he left, he turned back. “Thanks.”

Janet was taken aback by Daniel’s gratuitous statement. At her curious stare, he added. “For caring.”

******

The drive down the mountain was blessedly uneventful. Jack initially started out asking about the briefing, but by the time they had reached Jack’s house, he was quietly snoring in the passenger seat; the shot Janet had given him knocking him out.

In a parody of the night before, Daniel got out and moved around to the other side of the car. Cautiously opening the door, Daniel reached a hand around and pushed on Jack’s shoulder, propping him up and making sure the other man didn’t fall out. The gentle pressure of Daniel’s hand didn’t have any effect on Jack and he continued sleeping, head lolling on the seat’s backrest.

Once the door was opened as wide as it could get, Daniel squatted on his haunches and gently brushed his fingers down Jack’s cheek. Even that simple touch did not stir the other man. Not really wanting to, Daniel gave Jack a slight nudge. “Jack?”

Jack’s head flopped down to his other side rather harshly, which was just enough movement to wake him up. “Huhngh?”

Daniel smiled. Jack looked like a debauched little five year old just waking up. He would have kissed Jack senseless if they weren’t sitting in the middle of Jack’s driveway. “We’re home,” Daniel announced quietly.

Jack blinked and looked around. “Yep,” he agreed before turning shiny brown eyes towards Daniel. “We are.”

The look in Jack’s eyes spoke more than just the words… Jack was telling Daniel that this was his home too. Daniel wanted to cry.

Breaking the seriousness that had enveloped them, Daniel moved back and stood up offering a hand to his lover. “Come on, Sleeping Beauty. Let’s go inside.”

Jack stuck his tongue out at Daniel at the nickname and slapped the younger man’s hand away. When he was standing to his full height, Jack, who was now in Daniel’s personal space grinned lecherously. “I’m ready, Prince Charming.” Jack then licked his lips sensuously, tongue slipping back into his mouth only to be trapped between his teeth, the tip just peeking out from between the moist lips.

Daniel took in a very shaky breath and closed his eyes, willing his libido to calm the fuck down. It didn’t work. When he opened his eyes, they were nearly black with lust: a small ring of blue outlining the dark pupils. His nostrils flared at the musk that floating in the air between them and his body began to tremble ever so slightly.

“Jesus, Jack,” Daniel whispered with unsuppressed need. “If we don’t get in the house right this second, I’m gonna embarrass us both in the middle of your driveway.”

“Our driveway,” Jack amended, grin widening at the look on Daniel’s face.

While the lust was still there, Daniel’s face glowed with renewed love for the man in front of him. “Love you, Jack.”

Jack’s own face softened and his lewd grin gentled to a tranquil, peaceful smile.

“Love you too, Danny.”

The much beloved nickname turned Daniel’s insides to slush and he melted against Jack suddenly not caring that they were in public in the middle of the driveway.

“What happened to ‘I’m gonna embarrass us both’?” Jack asked in amusement.

Daniel leaned back, though is groin was still pressed up against Jack’s. “I still might,” he answered huskily.

“Can’t have that,” Jack returned just as huskily.

They stood by the car, unmoving, reveling in each other’s touch and closeness. “Uh, Daniel…”

“Hmm?” Daniel said dreamily.

“Um, I can’t move unless you move.”

“’Kay.”

They stood for a moment longer.

Daniel didn’t move.

“Daniel!”

Daniel jerked back. “Okay. All right! Jeez!” Daniel snapped. He was not happy about being reminded that they needed to take this inside. Besides, he was quite content leaning against his Jack-shaped cushion.

Jack chuckled, pushing Daniel away with his hips. The hardness underneath was not lost on Daniel and his irritation was quickly replaced with renewed lust.

He started for the door. Half way there, he turned and saw that Jack was still by the car. “Well? Come on!”

He watched Jack roll his eyes before turning back to the house. Just as he opened the door, Jack had stepped up behind him and glued himself to Daniel’s back. The two men walked into the house together; Jack’s leg matched to Daniel’s from thigh to knee. Once the door was closed, however, Daniel detached the man from his back and whipped around, pinning the other man to the door.

“Now. Where were we?” He thrust his hips against Jack sighing in contentment at the hardness he felt there.

Jack stood pressed against the door; eyes dark with need and a small smile curving his lips. Daniel tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. While Jack’s eyes may have been hooded with lust, they were also half closed with sleep. The shot Janet gave him before they had left the mountain was making his eyes blink slowly, sleepily.

Daniel sighed.

As much as Daniel really wanted to make love to the other man, wanted to show in more than just words what Jack meant to him, there was no way in hell that he could, or would for that matter, right now. Because even though Jack seemed more than willing to participate, his lower body showing great interest in the proximity of Daniel, the rest of him was definitely not up for the challenge. Daniel was actually surprised that Jack’s lower half was as interested as it was! Between the antibiotics and the sickness that was running throughout his body, he knew Jack wouldn’t be able to find the energy to do anything more than kiss and do a little fondling. And even still, maybe not even that!

Daniel reached forward and gently pressed his lips against Jack’s. “You’re tired,” he stated.

Jack blinked up at him and gave him a rather lop-sided half-smile. “Sorry,” Jack murmured.

“Let’s get you up to bed.”

“Couch?”

“You want to sleep on the couch? It’s not that comfortable,” Daniel said as he began pulling Jack away from the door.

Jack thought for a moment. “Will you come to bed with me?”

Daniel smiled. “You want me to?”

Jack nodded his head and leaned forward to rest his forehead on Daniel’s shoulder. “Sorry,” he mumbled again.

Daniel slid a hand up and around to cradle Jack’s head, gently massaging Jack’s skull. He closed his eyes. His chest felt tight and a lump made its way to his throat. If he loved Jack any more… well, it just wasn’t possible. It seems that Jack was willing to trust himself to Daniel even after last night. “Okay, let’s get you to bed.”

Jack nuzzled the side of Daniel’s neck. “Mmm, sounds good to me!”

“To sleep, Jack,” Daniel admonished still caressing Jack’s hair.

“Spoil sport,” Jack mumbled against Daniel’s throat.

“Time for that later,” Daniel added, rubbing his cheek against the top of Jack’s head.

Jack blinked sleepy eyes at Daniel as he raised his head. “Promise?”

Daniel smiled softly at his lover. “Oh yeah,” he promised. “All the time in the world.”

Jack closed his eyes, face softening and a smile playing around the curve of his lips. “’Kay.”

The two men walked up the stairs together.

Yeah, there would be lots of time for that later. Daniel would make sure of that. He squeezed Jack tighter around the waist and pressed his lips against the side of Jack’s lips. “Love you,” he whispered.

“Love you, too,” came the sleepy reply.

Daniel smiled.

Finis