My Morbid Poetry

You'll notice in alot of my poems I talk about someone that wasn't there because in that point in my life I didn't have anyone I truly cared about. So the mentioning of this imaginary person has always been somewhat strange to me. I always write my poems in a strange type of trance so words just kind of come out you know? Anywho, back to the poems...

Dying
Soaked in blood
Just stupid
So much that it spreads
The beauty has drained
The soul has burned
Along with the skin
Something is hard to find
Entertain me while you squirm
While your dying beneath my hands
While your eyes roll into your skull
But know...
I love you
I just hate who I am
KT

Warning
I warn you
I have issues
I warn you
I don't like you
I'll warn you only once
I hate you
Now I have the resources
All I can do is count and plot
Count the hours
And plot your death
I warn you
You should leave now
Don't scream sso loud
I warned you
KT

Now once again I'm mentioning imaginary people but I think there is a seperate person for each emotion I express. One is of love and joy in seeing, a kind of comfort in seeing them if you will. A temporary release from my torture. And the other, I just hate, the only person whom I've ever hated more than that is myself so it's just very strange to me. You know the more I delve into my mind as an outside source the more interesting I seem to find my delusions...

Demons and alcohol
Demons and alcohol
Fill my dreams
Guns and drugs
Live in my eternal screams
Demons and alcohol
Killing me
Things as such
Killing everything
Eroding the surface of life
Filling all with eternal strife
Demons and alcohol
Changing into sweet nightmares
Murdering all your cares
Demons and alcohol
All to live for
Demons and alcohol
Causing bloody scars
KT

Worries
Don't worry
We're all dying here
Crawling and screaming in agony
Don't worry
We're all crying here
Biting and scratching in rage
Don't worry
we'll soon be gone
From torture and life
Don't worry
Soon we will die
Soon it will be alright
KT

I wrote this one for Lex, Worries, when he thought his girlfriend was going to break up with him, she did too. He was all suicidal at the time and I don't really think I helped him to much so...eh. Well, now I'm one of his muses, so whatever. He wrote a poem with a gopher in it because of me! I miss Amber...

Life's remnants
Life's remnants
Sitting in decay
Treasures from a past day
Traces of those we loved
Peices of those we despised
Signs of the past
Always remembered
Fresh kills
Those will be honored
Forever
KT

Montage
I will not say
I do not know
I do not like my name
I hate what I have
I hate what I don't
No where to go
Nothing to see
No one to speak to
Except for me
Lies and deciet
Mockery and tricks
All eat away at my decency
Society is rotten
Just like me
KT

Unknown
My role in life is best unknow
The people in it eat away at their own souls
They spread lies
They spread disease
They spread the parasites
All onto me
They like sorrow
And cry when you die
They like anger
And kill when you lie
Their part is best unknown
Like all the other defenseless souls
KT

Lies
A lone crimson tear
Stream down my face
A hopeless world of lies
For when will I escape?
The world will never die
The wonder in your eyes
Makes me grow to despise
Everything about you
Including all the hopeless lies
KT

Life
The thread of life fall apart
As I watch through a glassy gaze
It all seems to be a hopeless spiral
Tumbling into a pit of cold distant daze
Life I mean
The hopeless quest
It's like a decieving, theiving guest
For when will I escape?
It seems all to be to fake
KT

Anger
Anger eats away
Twitching all the way
Never to be left alone
Always to be shown
People accusing me
Always annoying me
Not quite sure when I lost my sanity
I just know why
KT

This
The cold and bitter words that come out of my mouth
Surprise even me
This is not who I am
Who is this?
Some cruel swine perhaps?
This person is not me
This person laughs at pain
KT

Devils
Devils
Swirling
Screaming
Round my head
Telling me to die
Telling me to lie
Telling me to cry
Crying tears of crimson red
That drip onto the floor
That cause the screaming dead
Demons and devils in my head
Swirling around the grateful dead
KT

Kid
If that kid was yours
What would you do?
Would you stop them from crying?
Would you stop them from dying?
If that kid was yours
What would you do?
Stop them from screaming?
Stop them from dreaming?
That kid is me
She lives in my world
That kid is screaming in my head
That kid is dying in my heart
KT

Agony
I spend my life in agony
Living without a hope
All the time I try but I just can't cope
People seem as others whom I've know for so long
But those people have nothing in common for those I've know for way, way to long
Sometimes I wonder
Are these people even here?
The one's who are real
Are the ones who do not care
Though I hate to say
Those are the ones whom I fear
KT

Feelings framing me
Take me away
I can't stand it anymore
My heart has been mutilated
Just like my arms
The scars are so bright
I think I have lost the fight
I no longer wish to die
But I don't know why I try
Death is inevitable
It will be here some day
To look me in the face
A way to get rid of this hate
So just take me away
Away from this place
This place that I hate
So just take me away
I know I don't belong
So just take me away
But not for too long
KT

The life that god forbid
A life of hate
A life of pain
A life filled with drugs and screams
This life is not meant to be
Yet so many share this life with me
A life without fun or freedom
A life damned by god
A life chosen by many
Forbidden by all
This life was never meant to be
Come share this life with me
This life was never meant to be
This life condemned by god
KT

Hate
I hate you
I want to hurt you and maim you
I want to beat you until you can no longer breath
You lie and cheat
You fuck with me
I want to kill you
People tell me I have to love you
But that is not true
After what you've done
I am the only one who knows the real you
You hate that
Don't you?
KT

Questions
I wonder if any one can hear me?
As I sit here and scream to myself
As I lie to myself
And cry to myself
I wonder
Can any one see me?
As I sit here and beg for help
As I reach to you
Reach out my hand for empathy
I wonder can any one feel me?
As I look upon you with cold but pleading eyes
And I wonder
Does any one care?
That I die when I'm alone
And cry in the dark
And wish I would die
Does any one care?
Does any one know?
Does any one think it's alright?
KT

Yeah, this one is sad and its after I met amber so I felt like putting it on this page.

Leave
I don't want you to see me crying
And I don't want you to see me slowly dieing
And I don't want you to see me choking to death
On the cruel hard ties you've stuck me with
I don't want you to see me crashing down
And I don't want you to see me in the tears in
Which I drown
And I don't want you to talk to me
Or look at me
Or laugh at me
As you bring me swirling down
Don't tell me not to frown
As you make each breath harder to take
Don't tell me what I do and do not fake
As you make each step harder to plod
Don't tell me to make myself into a fraud
I'm not happy
And I won't fake it
I'm fed up
And I won't take it
KT

Soothing
You always seem so sad
Facing so many demons
Yet I can never help you
Or sooth you while your screaming
Your face is always racked with pain
Lying deep within
Yet I cannot get rid of the pain that's deep within
You tell me that your happy
But I must always doubt
How can you be happy, when your feelings are adrought?
God I want to help you
Can't you see?
But I can't help you
When you keep things locked away from me
KT

Untitled
Kill me now
Leave me to die
For I have hurt one so kind
Throw me down
Throw me out
Step on me
And kick me around
Slap me here
And punch me there
For I did not deserve one so fair
My life is in shambles
My heart a wreck
My soul is in an uncleanable mess
So just kill me now
Leave me out
For I have hurt you
And left you down and out
KT
Hey, Melli just gave me these, I thought I lost them! YAY!

My Angel
Where's my angel?
Where'd you go?
Come back
I won't make you feel low
I'll be kind
And you'll stay
You might hurt
Feel the decay
The constant abuse
It might drive you down
But don't worry
Don't wear a frown
Come back my angel
Come back
My angel
Why are you so timid?
So afraid?
I haven't hurt you that bad have I?
I'm not that crude
Not that rude
Evil, me?
Why you little bitch!
Come here
I only want to play
So what
It's just a hospital visit
I promise I won't do it again
Why are they taking you away?
I only wanted to play
I haven't been that bad have I?
I love you
What, I lie?
KT

Death
Death is life, life death
They say it will never change
But who are they to say such things?
To me death is joy, life hate
No way to escape, no screams, no laughter, no tears
To some it's their fears
To some their life, body, and soul
They who are like us have no hopes, fears
And are not whole
They live for death, drugs
They hang with the worst thugs
How will they know when it is no longer a show
Their hearts pumping with crystal meth
You know they live for death
KT

Yesterday
Yesterday is just a dream I don't remember
It might as well be heroin flowing through my veins
I have to kill the pain
They keep poking, proding, never respecting
They obviously must be king and queen
He must be their knight always in a fight
What am I? A servant? Insult bag?
You stupid fags
You think you rule
But you will die
I will live up to my name
You will lose you're fame
I will sleep well at night knowing I have corrected the biggest wrong
You
KT

Why
Why do you wish to hurt me, make me cry
You make me want to die
These horrible nightmares of you will soon cease
Along with me
I must be the flaw
Couldn't be you
Your perfect
Not an imperfection in you
Your mouth not even able to utter the word
So it must be you
Never you
Always me
KT

Friends
Friends are a blessing, the only gift from above
Friends are the sweetest type of a love
Cause your friends are ruthless
They would even kill
So cunning, and careless
They'll never harm you, you say
But when friends turn backstab
What are you then?
Nothing, trash, vermin
When your friends let you down, don't worry, don't frown
Slit your wrists, it'll be OK
They'll regret when you decay
KT

Torture
It's my battered soul that tortures me
That drives me to insanity
It's the look of pain in your eyes
While staring into lifeless skies
It's the weed that is my life trying dying under pitch black light
It's all these things that torture me
That drives me to insanity
KT

Forgotten
Why am I forgotten?
Why am I alone?
I should have let my true form shown
Instead I used a worthless clone
Is this why I have no friends, no family, no life?
Is this why I trife?
KT

We
Some say there will be showers of blessing
Some say there will be a new king
All their hopes, dreams, fears, rolled into one
And we wreck them just for fun
Some call us servants of satan
Some say outcasts
But we will last
We will prevail
They will die for they are frail
And all their frivolous beliefs would fall
KT

Insanity
Everybody went away
Do I go do I stay?
I stay and I wait
I watch, stare at the gate
No one comes and I cry
I feel the pain and I lie
Tomorrow will be OK
Until then I stay, cry, and wait
No one will come, I will be alone
So I wait, by the phone
No one calls
No one comes, no one calls
And I fall
KT

Life
The threads of life fall apart
As I watch through a glassy gaze
It seems all to be a hopeless spiral tumbling into a pit of cold distant daze
Life I mean, the hopeless quest
It's like a decieving theiving guest
How can I escape?
It seems all to be to fake
KT

Process
You were so trusting
They were so cunning
You so depthless
They were lifeless
You were preoccupied
They were outraged
Now you lie
You lie and die
Staring at your blood
It seems to be a flood
Distressed, you sniff and cry
It doesn't hurt, you lie
They see through as if you were clear
They know everything, even what you fear
You they say are nothing; they curse, spit, kick, punch, and run
You know why you'll die
You just wonder why
KT