I consider myself a strong ally of the bisexual (or some prefer queer) community. I was not always a supporter of bisexual rights. I thought they were indecisive people. Fence-sitters. Greedy and promiscuous.

It was acceptable for a bisexual man to be with a man and a bisexual woman to be with a woman, but I would bristle at the thought of a bisexual man being with a woman and vice versa. I could tolerate bisexuality as long as they could pass as gay. They could be like that as long as they didn’t talk about it or shove it in my face. At that time I was not comfortable with ambiguity. Now I understand that sexuality and gender is fluid. I couldn’t comprehend that until I was actually living it.

My perspective changed after I realized I was transgender. I now understand what it is like to be pushed and pulled to choose one or the other, and to be rejected by everyone who should get it. I know what it is like to have other people try to define me like I once tried to define them.

My dislike for bisexuality stemmed from a whole system of privileges that I was denied. I resented the benefits of being in a female-male relationship. Bisexuals could take advantage of heterosexual privilege since they could be perceived as being straight. It was a privilege that I, a dyke, would never have.

Oh, how a little bit of hormones can change everything. Now, I too experience heterosexual privilege. I am often perceived as a straight man, even though I do not identify or try to pass as a man. I sometimes wonder if gay men and lesbians feel that same way about me as I did about bisexuals.

Maybe I was uncomfortable with bisexuality because I was occasionally attracted to men, even though I identified as a lesbian. Some men still are very attractive to me. Am I bisexual? I don't really understand how the term would apply to me. Am I a lesbian because I have a female body and my girlfriend has a female body? Am I in a heterosexual relationship because I look like a man? To make it even more confusing, do I find certain men attractive because I want to be with them or look like them?

I think the bisexual/queer and transgender communities could be very strong allies. Transgender individuals and bisexuals fight similar myths and misunderstandings. Some people think bisexuals are confused, that they have not have figured out if they are gay or straight (because there is really no such thing as bisexuality). This is parallel to how some people think male to female transsexuals (MTFs) are actually gay men and female to male transsexuals (FTMs) are just lesbians. Bisexual and trans people also face the unique problem of being rejected by both the straight and gay/lesbian communities.

Both of our communities are separate from the larger gay and lesbian community. Our issues are rarely included in mainstream gay rights, yet we are still clumped under the LGBT umbrella. The bi and trans communities are a politically correct add-on to give the illusion that the LGBT community is united. In reality, the LGBT community subjugates its own members, through transphobia and biphobia, in much the same way as the LGBT community as a whole is subjugated through homophobia and heterosexism.

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