All About Men...
This page is dedicated to men... Whether you hate them or love them, none of us can seriously live without them unless of course your into other chics but hey thats cool too... Men they all have their issues and they will never understand us, but Girls if you want your shit done right don't be afraid--Stand up to you man and tell them!!! No man has the right to walk all over a woman as precious as you!!!!!
Here are some sure fire ways to really piss your man off...They all deserve it, sometimes...
Tell him his brother is a better lay.
Tell him his sister is better in bed than his brother is.
Create an email account in his best friends name. Email him suggestive letter and sign them, Love, (use his best friends name here).
Subscribe to Woman's World, Cosmo and Redbook. Make the subscription in his name.
Give him all kinds of fabulous promises about the best blow job he's ever had. Just before you start, say "DAMNIT! I just chipped a tooth. Oh well it won't matter."
Tell him you've invited some friends over to play strip poker. Then say that his fishing, poker, drinking buddies should be there any minute.
Tell him you always wanted to be a man and you finally have enough money saved up to get the operation. Triple points awarded if you say this in front of his parents.
Tie him to the bed. Paint his toenails bright Red.
Tie him to the bed. Put on your sexiest lingerie. Do a striptease for him. then have a long, heart to heart talk with him.
Buy 1 ticket to his favorite, sold-out sporting event. Say "It was the last one, but to prevent any hard feelings, I'll just tear it up so we don't have to decide who goes." Burn the ticket.
Out of the blue, look him straight in the eye and say "It doesn't matter." Then ignore him for 30 minutes.
Tell him your pregnant and you *think* he's the father.
While he's sleeping, Super Glue his dick to his leg. Say "I was worried it might fall off and you'd lose it."
Write a letter to another guy during sex!!!
Rules Men Should Know...
- Don't lie to us, we always find out.
- We don't enjoy talking dirty as much as you enjoy listening.
- Don't say you understand when you don't.
- Girls are petty, get over it.
- You don't have PMS, don't act like you know what its like.
- Saying something sweet might get you off the hook: doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.
- If you talk about having a big dick, we know you don't.
- Size does matter.
- We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big; we like it when you are Mr. Big.
- It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.
- If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.
- We are self-consious by nature, we can't help it.
- We are Drama Queens.
- Don't ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it.
- Hugs and Kisses must be given at all times.
- We don't shave our legs everyday, get over it.
- Shave--no matter how cool you think it looks, we hate it.
- Don't compare our breasts with Pamela Anderson, hers were fake.
- We will always think we are fat so humor us and tell us we aren't
- Most importantly--we are always right--so don't forget it.
