Our Crazy Lives

This page started November 2000

Jessica, I thought it would be neat to start a kind of interactive page between the two of us where we can keep each other up to date on things that are going on in our lives since the two of us seem to be traveling so much lately. Also, I don't know, it's almost easier this way then to keep up with emails and stuff like that, You know how sometimes when we're in hotels and there's no AIMs or anything and it's a pain in the ass to go to our mailboxes? Well I thought that we can just come here when we want to talk about something, and just write to each other and still have a way to look back over things that have happened in the past. ~Julie

Julie, I like this idea. It is easier to refresh the page then to constantly having to access the AOL website to check email. How is Florida right now?~Jessica

Hot, how is NYC?

Well it's not raining like it normally seems to do when I'm here but I'd still like to be home. I can't wait to get back to Florida. Hey, are you going to make it to the the party tommorrow night right? Jessica

Yeah, I'm taking the first plane out so I should be in New York by 11 hopefully~Julie

Good. I hate going to these things alone. I know I know it's not like I don't know anyone, but still, it's nice to have someone to walk in with~Jessica

Well, to be honest, I wasn't sure I really wanted to come. But then I decided, I haven't really traveled alot since we moved from California to FL, and this will probably most likely be my last trip for awhile, with Christmas and stuff coming up, so I decided what the hell, I'll go~Julie

Why didn't you want to come? It's going to be a lot of fun, there are going to be so many people we haven't seen in for so long there ~Jessica

You know why I didn't want to come

Because of him?

Because of her

I thought we settled this one already.

It's far from settled. I don't want to see him with anyone else, even with someone who is just a friend right now

But I thought you two were on good terms

We are. He's a good guy. I just hate the on again off again game playing we do, it's frusterating ~Julie

And it hurts, yeah I know what you mean

Okay, well if I'm going to make it on the plane in the morning

Okay girl, see ya! ~Jessica

Julie, well, you made it through the party, and you made it back home, and you're still in one piece, how are you doing?~Jessica

I'm glad to be home. It's sad that we're roommates Jes and we have to keep each other up to date over the computer. We need to clear our schedules so we can both hang out together

Deal, how about Friday?

Sounds good to me.

By the way, how'd your date go last night, slut? ~Julie

Great! He's such a sweetie, he treats me so good and he's so funny. But it wasn't a date remember? we are just friends.~Jessica

Yeah, okay. and you forgot to add sexy to list of good qualities there ~Julie

Sexy, better?

Much better haha. You know you two are more then just friends

No seriously. He just got out of that relationship and he wants to take things slow. So I'm letting him.~Jessica

Haha I bet you are letting him

Shut up you sick bitch, just because you're letting someone or anyone do anything, doesn't mean I am, hahaha ~Jessica

Haha, anyway, what are you doing for Christmas? ~Julie

Probably going to visit my Dad in California, what are you going to do?~Jessica

He's a cutie. Well now that I'm back in FL, I'm not going anywhere. My dad wants me to spend the holidays with him and Autumn and Cherry, and since I was just at my mom's, I think I might. You're welcome to join us

Well, I haven't seen my dad in awhile, the last time I was in Cali was when? And then we only stayed a day. I want to go visit him ~Jessica

Oh, and by the way, my dad is a cutie?

Yep

Nasty

lol

Merry Christmas Jessica! It's been forever since we've wrote here. How is California? ~Julie

Merry Christmas Julie! I know it's like we have this big gap into between all the last events and current events in our lives. Maybe we should try to go back and fill in? California is great. I'm ready to come home ~Jessica

I can't remember yesterday, not to mention weeks ago

Me either. Too much work also

Welcome home Jes

Thanks

2001

Happy New Years Julie !

Happy New Years Jessica

Another gap in our lives. Last night is an even bigger gap. I had a hangover until late this afternoon

I know and you snored. I hate New Years Parties~Julie

Why because I snore?

No, it's kind of sad, the end of one year, the beginning of another. Time goes too fast

Yeah but think of all the exciting things we get to do this year.

I know I'm ready to have some fun! ~Julie

I guess there's no point in writing since we've been together so much but I thought I'd write something just to update our page alittle bit. I can't believe this year has gone by so fast already, it's already February, and I forgot to wish you a happy Birthday back in January~Jessica

That's okay, we did enough birthday celebrating in January that I don't care about celebrating anymore birthdays. Except yours. It was nice to have a nice peaceful birthday, you are so lucky

Well dinner with a few friends was all I really wanted

That's all I really wanted too, no one every listens to me though~Julie

So are you excited to be back in IL? Jessica

Yes and no. I feel bad when I come through IL and don't stop in to see my mom but I don't know if I can handle weeks with her. I'm glad your here too. I can't wait to leave though lol ~Julie

Well, today is the 15, just think, in two weeks we'll be back in California, then we get to go to Vegas! I'm ready to do some gambling~Jessica

You're just excited that you turned 21 and now you can gamble legally lol ~Julie

Well it sucked that last time we went to Vegas all I got to do was watch

So now that we are in CA are you going to stop in and see your dad? ~Julie

Yes

Yay!

I know I know. He's sexy you tell me all the time. And I know I know, he looks like he's 30. Maybe you should tell that to him, maybe he'll give me some money to go gambling on ~Jessica

You're dad gives you money no matter what, you spoiled brat, but if you want, I'll tell him he's sexy

I'm not spoiled. Okay so I am. Hey, and it's better that he gives the money to me then all those money hungry sluts he has hanging all over him. Don't tell him he's sexy, he already has a big ego

Lol

I can't believe I lost 75 dollars last night. Where were you last night anyway? LAst time I saw you you were headed towards the bar ~Jessica

I gambled for awhile, then I went to the bar and ran into Johnny

Aww, I getcha. He was at the bar?

At the bar, coming from the bar whatever. Anyway we had a few and talked for awhile

Just talked?

Just talked, okay and flirted. I'm not crushing on him like I used to

Yeah we both know who you really want

Shut up

Of course you could have him anytime, you two flirt enough

We are just friends. On the other hand, I've been hearing alot about some guy that you claim is just your friend. Friends with BENEFITS, huh? ~Julie

Damn straight. And there's nothing wrong with it either, if he's not serious and I'm not serious we might as well have some fun~Jessica

I agree, there's nothing wrong with it. ~Julie

No matter what part of the world I'm in or where in the states I am, FL is definately home for me. I'm glad to be back. I think the only place at this point in my life I'd trade FL for permanately is Australia, it's so pretty there ~Julie

I agree, it is good to be home.

Are you going to both concerts or just the one in Tampa?

Well it's not like I haven't seen them a million times, and Orlando is almost an hour away, probably more with all that traffic, so probably just the one in Tampa~Julie

Come to Orlando Jules, you'll be missed

By who?

You're drinking partner? And I can name a few other people who'd be missing you, including me, so come, it'll be fun. we can hit some clubs after

You know what my favorite parts of concerts is sometimes?
~Julie
What?

Sitting way out in the crowd in a section that no-one else even wants to sit in and just enjoying the concert. Think about it, You're not in great seats so no one is going to ask you to move, but you can talk as loud as you want, sing along to the music, scream, act goofy, whatever, and no one bothers you. You don't constantly have to be shifting around to see, or moving so someone can get through, or stuff, you can just enjoy~Julie

That's true. I never really thought about it like that, my favorite part has always been watching the sweaty bodies dance on the stage but what you say is true too lol~Jessica

I'm glad I have you to discuss this silly stuff with Jes

Aww, getting mushy on me are you? But seriously, I'm glad I have you to discuss this stuff with too. where were you last night? Did you go drinking? I think I was in bed early~Jessica

In bed alone??? LOL. I didn't really drink much last night, wasn't in the mood ~Julie

To drink or listen to certain annoying people who know how to ruin a good time? And yes, alone. Unfortunately ~Jessica

Sorry to hear that. And I wasn't in the mood to drink really, or to listen to annoying bitches ~Julie

LOL I don't blame you

****
Sorry the stars are for for page break effect. when we haven't written in awhile, I get confused as to where the new stuff starts, and being almost a month has gone by, that stuff is old news. Hey are their any birthdays coming up? I feel like cake ~Jessica

LOL. Why don't you just go buy a cake? ~Julie

Not the same thing.

Noah's birthday is June 21st, if you want to fly all the way back to FL to celebrate it with him I don't think he'll mind much ~Julie

I'm missing FL actually. There's too much drama going on around here. That's scary, too much drama for me? ~Jessica

That is scary! Haha. I'm thinking of taking up that guy John and Jay know on his offer to come to California and work as the assistant in his studio~ Julie

I thought that wasn't until later this year? You're going to leave FL? what the hell did I move here for? I thought all this talk about being an assistant was just talk, you're serious about it? ~Jessica

Calm down. If I did take it, it wouldn't be until later this year, probably September or later at earliest. And I'm not moving from FL. I love our place to much. No, what I'd probably do is move back in with Whitney, the girl I ended up subrenting too, and just staying for a few months, decide if it's what I really want. It's just that you know how much I love film, I've even taken classes, and I feel like if the opportunity presents itself I should take it you know, work on a movie set, assist the directors and stuff, I don't want to pass it up and close doors ~Julie

I know and I don't blame you. As long as you don't make it a permanate move. I don't want you leaving me in FL after I went all the trouble of moving here lol ~Jessica

You're so silly. I wouldn't do that to you, unless it was to move into your dads mansion. That's the only way I'd freakin give up our place in FL lol

Haha

Doing anything special for the fourth?~Julie

Going to a party probably, you ? ~Jessica

Yeah I might hit a party, or Bar, or maybe just sit around watching drunk neighbors light themselves on fire ~Julie

Haha like Chris did last year?

Aww be nice, Chris is sweet, besides, he lit me on fire, remember? ~Julie

Yeah I remember the jumping jack thing, I'm talking about later, when he dropped his ciggarette ~Jessica

Oh well that wasn't a firework, it doesn't count

If you ask him, I'm sure he'd tell you it burnt just the same

Haha

This Sucks

I know. I feel really depressed

Me too.~Jessica

I keep thinking about everything and I wonder if I could of done something. I mean I know I'm not that special, but I don't know, I feel bad, like I know I didn't cause it, and I couldn't of prevented it, but I wish I could help somehow. I thought about it sometimes, that something was different, but I never gave it much thought. Does that sound horrible? ~Julie

I think everyone feels that way. We all love him and want to help, but it's no ones fault.

I still feel bad

Me too. Very bad. Bad for everyone. It's hard on everyone. ~Jessica

Have you talked to anyone?

Yeah last night. I hate seeing other people hurting

Me too. Brave faces and Broken Hearts, that's what I call it ~Julie

I hate being shut out. I know I'm not being shut out really, but I don't know what else to call it. I know he gets upset and it's hard for him to talk about, but I worry about him. I want to help~Jessica

Just be there for him. He's just worried that's all. It's hard. I think he's scared to show how much he cares sometimes. Guys seem to have trouble with that, a pride thing or something. But the important thing is that you're there for him ~Julie

Thanks. He knows I'm there for him, doesn't he? You talk to him, what does he say?

He knows. I think he just needs to deal with it on his own too. It was an eye opener to him, and he's worried. And pissed. And frusterated. It's understandable. I don't think he means to come off cold ~Julie

I know. I worry is all. About everything

You're talking to the number one worrier here. And I'm telling you it will all turn out okay

Thanks Jules

You're welcome

Jessica, the other day I ran into that guy Ryan we met a few months back, and we went out for a few drinks,and ended up running into Nick's friend Brandon, you know that one guy? And a couple other people. So there's about seven of us, just sitting there, having a good time and enjoying ourselves, and out of the blue, this girl comes up, and I don't know what it is about me that says "mess with me out of everyone here", but anyway, that's what she decided to do because out of the blue she comes up and starts yelling things incoherantly at me and tries to take my drink. Okay first of all, I was drinking pepsi, but second of all, it doesn't matter what I'm drinking, you don't just come up and snatch my drink out of my hand, so I'm trying to stand up to match height with this girl and Ryan is trying to get me to sit back down, well this girl won't shut up, then she just spits, but she missed me so theres this big gob of spit on the table and I'm like clean that up and she's like lick it up and walks away. I wanted to go after her and beat the crap out of her or something but they wouldn't let me, we ended up leaving, but talk about a crazy chick, geez ~Julie

She sounds crazy. Did you ever figure out what her problem was?

No, I couldn't even half understand what she was saying, she was so drunk. That's why I wasn't allowed to go confront her, but I was so mad. ~Julie

I would be too. Well remember when we were at that resturant a few weeks ago and those two girls were giving us dirty looks and we couldn't figure out what the hell their problem was and then one of them flicked us off when we were leaving? I finally figured out where I knew them from ~Jessica

Where?

They were hanging out in the hallway at both the Tampa concert and Orlando Concert remember?

Oh yeah I do remember haha!

Yeah so that explains the dirty looks

Haha that's funny ~Julie

It's ridicilous.

It is. That's why I could never be famous. You never have any privacy

I know and someone is always hating someone

Yeah or someone is always jealous about something

Yeah. I like just being me, free to be who I want to be, go where I want to go, do what I want to do, trust people without wondering about their motives. Well I wonder about motives anyway ~Julie

Thanks, even mine?

You know what I mean. I have a hard time trusting, can you imagine if I was famous? I'd be a freakin basketcase~Julie

You mean bigger then what you already are? LOL ~Jessica

Haha sadly yes

That's okay I'd probably be the same way ~Jessica

And that's why you're my best friend lol

LOL. of course, you have to have talent to be famous ~Jessica

Could of fooled me these days. Haha. Damn it though, that cuts me out, cause I can't sing or act~Julie

Don't feel bad, I can't either. But hey you can play a guitar guitar pretty well

I guess I actually did learn something with those private lessons lol ~Julie

Yeah we both know what you learned haha

I wouldn't be talking Drummer girl

Maybe we should start a band. We already got half of it lol ~Jessica

No thanks lol ~Julie

So I know why I decided not to go to MO, why didn't you go? ~Jessica

Besides the obvious? I guess because I'll be going to IL in September anyway, no since in making so many trips~Julie

Makes since

Guess who you just missed online? I'm going to rub it in because when you get online to read this I want you to suffer lol (just kidding) ~Julie

Just kidding about him being on or making me suffer? I'm suffering over here so it must be about the other. What did he say? ~Jessica

Hi, and that he's sitting in his hotel room bored, and someone pranked call his phone twice today, so he blamed us lol ~ Julie

LOL. Geez you do it to him once, and you're guilty everytime ~Jessica

Just once? yeah okay lol

one time, ten times, same thing, lol!Jessica

You're so silly!

I know it!

September 11, 2001~This day will never be forgotten~

You can say that again

This day will never be forgotten

Okay. Truthfully, it won't. I feel so bad for everyone. Especially those who don't know~Julie

Me too. It's sad, I can't handle watching families cry anymore

I'm just glad in a selfish way that everyone I know is okay, is that bad? ~Julie

No girl I think the whole world feels that way~Jesssica

Let's talk about something less depressing

good idea

Are you still going to California for that assistant thingy? ~Jessica

Yeah but I'm just going to stay during the week and come back on the weekends I think. I hate being alone

Isn't that a whole lot of hassle, considering security and all that ? ~Jessica

Truthfully, this isn't even what I want now. It is, but it isn't. I just decided I don't even know what I want. I'm going to stick with it for awhile, because Jay and John helped me get it. But if that big ugly woman gives me attitude one more time or sticks me in a different job again I'm walking out ~Julie

LOL if you hate it that much just come home. I don't think Jay and John are going to be that mad

They wouldn't be. but don't tempt me, I'm trying to work on my temper alittle, so that I don't go off and walk out on a job when people piss me off ~Julie

Yeah that'll last. No offense but I don't give you until the end of the year, and that's being generous ~Jessica

Offense taken, thanks alot!

You know I mean it in the kindest way lol

yeah I know slut

I just went shopping for my halloween costume. I never really liked Halloween until these last few years, I guess hanging around you will do that to a person haha~Jessica

Halloween is my favorite time of the year but I never know what I want to be. I was thinking the gypsy, with that cute belly shirt and stuff, and the see-thru material, but it might be cold outside and this is an outdoor party right?

So what, you can always go inside, that would be cute.

Okay, what about you?

I got one of those sexy little devil costumes, you know, red with the red pointed tail and the cute little horns and I got my little pitchfork where I can poke the guys in the butt~Jessica

Haha you looked so cute tonight. Can't say you were much of a scary devil though~Julie

Thanks. except that someone grabbed my tail and pulled too hard and ripped it so now that costume is ruined. I liked your costume too, so did guys.~Jessica

Scott's costume was so funny!

What about Alex's? HA HA HA

Hey are you going to Brandon's party? Nick said to come but I don't know I don't know him that well, I'll go if you go~Julie

Well I don't have anything this Saturday, okay I'll go if you go~Jessica

That party was pretty fun, there was a lot of cute guys there wasn't there? ~Julie

Yeah I thought you and that Jake guy were going to get it on right there in the living room~Jessica

I don't even know him that well, he is cute, but I never date younger guys usually, at least not that much younger~Julie

Oh yeah, you're like what, a year older? Wasn't it you that always says age is nothing but a number? ~Jessica

I know we haven't written on this page in forever, but I just wanted to wish it a happy birthday, it's ONE YEAR OLD TODAY! ~Jessica

Happy 1st Birthday page! LOL ~Julie

Merry Christmas Julie!

Merry Christmas Jessica!

Oh, P.S. ~ I was going to add this awhile back, but I thought I'd rub it in at the end of the year since I told you your job wouldn't last until the end of the year, and I was right, it didn't lol ~Jessica

Ha ha very funny. well at least I quit instead of getting fired!

I never got fired

Haha

So what are we doing for New Years? Are we having the party here? We haven't had one here in a long time~Jessica

I don't care we can have one here

Good cause I already told people we were

What people?

Everyone. Anyone

Happy 2002!

Okay, Jessica, I didn't even know who half the people were at that party last night. It was fun, but the house is still trashed, and I'm tired of cleaning up~Julie

I don't know who they all were either, I just told friends that they could bring friends, and I guess they told friends who told friends. At least people brought beer so we didn't have to do any beer runs, does that make up for the mess?~Jessica

No, it was just more beer to clean up

Quit you're bitching, you had fun

I did. So did you, it looked like. You getting friendly with Brandon are you?~Julie

Well he's always around, I might as well get to know him haha~Jessica

I hear you're getting closer with JJ, is this true?
~Jessica

I don't know, he's younger then me but he is hot. And he's a good kisser. ~Julie

Oh so I guess I don't have to ask if what Cherry said was true. ~Jessica

What did she say?

She saw you two kissing, but you just said he was a good kisser so I guess that's not gossip anymore.

Hey what are we doing for your birthday? ~Jessica

Nothing. I just want to maybe have a nice peaceful night, go to a movie or something.~ Julie

How did you like your surprise party? ~Jessica

Well, it wasn't exactly what I was expecting. But I had fun

Yeah with Jake, I saw you over there talking to him

I was talking to everyone.

That's true. I remember seeing you talking to D too, did he get you a nice BIG birthday present? I'm sure he did, hahaha ~Jessica

We are just friends now, remember?
Yeah, me and Nick too. Nothing wrong with friends exchanging birthday presents though, is there? That's the BENEFIT of it all. Hahahaha ~Jessica

You're so retarded

It's true though

Yeah it's true. Haha

Hey Jessica, I had that dream the other night that someone was trying to kill me, I know, you're probably saying, Julie, you always dream someone is trying to kill you, but this one I've had before, you know, the one where I'm at my mom's and some guy comes through the sliding glass door and shoots me and I can feel it? Why are all my dreams violent? ~Julie

Well you know how you say that you're dreams are very realistic, that you can feel and taste and smell in your dreams? If I were you, I'd be using that to my advantage. I'd never want to wake up if you know what I mean. Hahaha ~Jessica

Oh girl I have those kinds of dreams too

Haha.

Hey Julie, you know what I just thought of? New Years Eve when you were drunk and you tripped and slammed your head into the glass kitchen table, and made our snacks go flying everywhere? ~Jessica

Remember the time you were trying to act cool with the mace and you accidently sprayed yourself with it? ~Julie

You did that too, what are you talking about? ~Jessica
I heard you saw D the other night, how did that go? ~Jessica

He still looks freakin good damn haha. It was nice, we hung out, caught up on some old times, it was good to see him ~Julie

No juicy details?

No, you know how I feel about him, but he's got his life and I got mine. It's better this way. Sometimes I wonder if that's true, but I can't do much to change it right? He seems happy and so I'm happy for him~Julie

I think he still cares about you. I know he does. I wish things could be different, don't you? ~Jessica

Don't even go there. all of us, you too, have new lives. If we dwell too much on the past and get caught up in the what if's of it all, we're just going to end up feeling sad ~ Julie

Thank you Dr. Julie

Don't get bitchy with me

Remember the time we were at that carnival and a bird pooped on your head and it ran down your shirt and into your shoe? And we all laughed and you had to go buy a new shirt and wash your hair off in that dirty public bathroom sink? ~Julie

Remember that time we were flirting with those two cute guys at that club and it turned out we were at a gay bar and didn't know it? ~Jessica

Remember all the times we've prank called Nick?

Yeah, and remember the time we pranked called him on his cell phone and we were having a good ol' time and we turned around and he was standing in the door way looking at us like you dumb asses, I'm standing right here listening to you, so we hang up the phone and tried to pretend it wasn't us. ~Jessica


Remember that time when we were on the plane and you went to the bathroom and didn't come back for like and hour and finally one of us went to check on you and you were stuck in there because the door was messed up? ~Julie

Yeah thank God for D, the rest of you didn't bother to check on me. ~Jessica

Well how did I know? You two were eating all those spicy foods I thought maybe you had the runs or something, I didn't want to embarrass you~Julie

Remember the time you got drunk and passed out in the bathroom and everyone was afraid to use the bathroom because they were afraid you'd jump up and puke on them? ~Jessica

So I heard you gave Jake quite the birthday present~Jessica

yeah he was wanting that cd for a long time so I gave it to him ahha ~Julie

Yeah, that's not all you gave him. hahaha

We haven't done that yet.

Like you said, yet. haha

So what's going on with you and Brandon. Everyone knows you two have something going on, you might as well make it offical~Julie

Are you implying that I've cheated on my boyfriend with Brandon? ~Jessica

That's the gossip that's been going around yep

Hey Jessica, I forgot to tell you, guess who I saw and talked to the other day? ~Julie

Who?

Oh gee, I wonder. Whose the one person you demand I tell you about the minute I see?

Aww, he's such a cutie. Is he still in town?

Back and forth he said, he said he's got a million things going on right now, someone always demanding something be done and not much free time, but he said to tell you hi and that we should all get together and catch up sometime soon. I think he's in town now but I'm not for sure. ~Julie

Well when you talk to him tonight, or whenever, since you talk to him a lot more then I get too, tell him I said hi and to call me sometime~Jessica

Speaking of that, I just remembered the time there was seven of us in that van going on that road trip and we all stopped at a gas station to go to the bathroom and get soda's and snacks and stuff and left without you and got like a mile down the road before we realized you weren't with us? HAHAHAHAHAHA~Julie
I'll never forgive you for that. There were creepy people there and my cell phone was in the van, thanks a lot.~Jessica

Boo-hooo

Okay, I hear you're pregnant is that true? ~Jessica

Well let's see, you were with me when I got the news so what do you think? ~Julie

I know I just wanted to write it. Hahaha

You're a dork.

And so are you!

Hey Julie. Here's a memory for you. Remember the time you and Jake went to go get pizza and beer and you were gone for three hours and when you came back you had no pizza and no beer?~Jessica

And remember not too long after that you turned up pregnant? Hahaha ~Jessica

Haha, you think you are so funny

I am

br> Congratulations Julie! Twins? Not only did you get knocked up, you got knocked up with Twins. Whose the daddy? Or is this one of those cases where each twin is by a different guy? If that's the case, I'm suprised you aren't having 20 babies. Haha. I really am happy for you. ~Jessica

Well at least I'm getting some.~Julie

well we both know the babies aren't going to be named after Jake, since he doesn't want a Jake the third in the family, so if they are boys, any name ideas?

If I have girls, I like the Hope and Gracie, but Jake is determined they are going to be boys. We've been throwing around Dylan and Damien, what do you think? Of course it's still early, the names will probably change before it's over with.~Julie

Those are cute names, you can name the girl Jessica, because we both know what a wonderful name that is.

Oh geez.


Remember that time we were in Vegas and that weird nasty ugly guy came up and was like in a retarded voice was like "you take my picture...". Well I had a dream that we were in Vegas and he walks up to us with his camera and he has a really long nose and he starts waving his camera, "you take my picture." so we take off running and trying to hide but he keeps finding us saying, "you take my picture" and waving his camera~Jessica

Eww, you take my picture! That guy was scary

I know, and I dreamt about him!

I had a dream a couple weeks ago that I guess I witnessed some crime and reported it, so I had to go to the witnes protection program, and they told me I could only pack one bag, and I couldn't take any pictures with me, so I went into this dingy basement, and I packed a paper grocery sack to take with me and I was clutching it in my arms and crying to everyone that I was never going to see them again, and they would just say all calm, you'll be okay. and go about their business like they didn't even care ~Julie

I had a dream that I woke up and no one was around, so I go to the grocery store, and I find out that no one is around, but then I run into some guy who has three women with him, and we decide to go drive around, and we get in his shitty brown busted up car, and we drive around and I say, why are we driving around in this, when we can drive that, and i point to a nice red car, so we hotwire it and take off, then all of a sudden we end up in a field where we crash into a tree, and then some guy with a scary mask, it looks like Freddy Krueger and he starts chasing me and the other four people disappear, but there were like a million Freddies, and then down the street was my grandmas house, so I run in and I'm like grandma! Grandma! and I open the door and it's a grocery store, and these two big black bodyguards grab me and tie me to a chair, and the whole time this is going on grandma is just sweeping the floor, and then the guy with the scary mask comes through the door to get me and I'm yelling grandma, help me! and she just keeps sweeping, she doesn't even look up. Then he grabs me and I wake up, I was so scared ~Jessica

You need to quit watching Freddy

You're the one who always tricks me and sticks it in telling me it's some other movie. I hate Freddy

Hey this is the first party we've really had since you've been pregnant. I guess I'll have to do the drinking for us both this fourth of July ~Jessica

Not that you don't drink enough for five people at every party we have~Julie

Is your babies daddy going to be at the party?

I don't know he might have to work, what about Brandon?

Not really work, more like play. He's going with Nick for awhile I think, and also to take care of a few things he said. ~Jessica

********

Hey Julie, want to go out tonight? Give me a call on my cell phone if you want, I'll be over at Daves, just give me a call on the cell, I have Brandon's truck and I need to take it back to his house so call me when you read this so you can follow me there and bring me back home. Why is your cell phone off anyway? And check your messages, what do you have freakin 50?~Jessica

Okay I'll call you, I'm going to hop in the shower first so if you read this before I call you come on home, We'll take it back to his house later, I want to catch that act at Tabu and if we take his truck home first we'll be really late, traffic is going to be bad anyway, and besides I want to take the mustang so I can cruise in it before I get too big to fit in it haha~Julie

Julie, I know who keyed Brandon's truck and when I catch the bitch I'm going to beat her ass, I'm telling you it was her. She's always starting shit. Brandon's going to flip~Jessica

She only keyed it because she thought the truck was yours, she's so freakin stupid. Brandon won't even have to know if you just hurry up and fix it before he gets back~Julie

I know I'm going to take it in tomorrow, I already talked to a man about it. But it's not my fault that it got scratched~Jessica

I know she's a jealous bitch. I can't believe she's still bitter about N. It isn't your fault he wasn't interested

N? Is that new shorthand?

Too lazy to write the name out lol

Haha. Well at least it's getting taken care of. Brandon doesn't need to know about it

I won't say a word ~Julie

How'd it turn out? Did Brandon notice anything?

No, I thought he was going to cause he looked at it and he's like damn it's clean, and I was like, I washed for you and he's like thanks haha ~Jessica

Haha

What's up with you and JJ?

We're just friends basically. Everytime we try to be more then friends we fight

Not everytime, you are pregnant after all haha

Oh geez lol

So he's okay with just being friends?

Kind of hard to have a decent romance when he's gone all the time

I can relate. What about Ryan?

Ryan is a friend, that's it

You sure are spending a lot of time with a friend

He's a nice guy, and fun to be around

I'm just giving you a hard time. Ryan is nice, and cute

Besides, I doubt he would ever feel that way about me. I am pregnant after all

so?

So I doubt he's interested is all. I can't be thinking about romance right now anyway

You're pregnant, not, I don't know, I can't think of a good word, broken? going into a convent? you can still think about romance~Jessica

I don't want to think about this right now

You never want to think about anything when it's complicated

That's right haha

We haven't written in awhile have we? What the hell have we been doing with outselves??~Julie

Well, I've been spending a lot of time with Brandon,and you've been knocked up haha. Makes it hard to write. ~Jessica

That was actually funny lol~Julie

See, I'm telling you, and now you're an eye witness, everytime we're out, people pick me to mess with. Or maybe it's just when I'm out with Ryan. That boy is going to think I'm always starting fights~Julie

You didn't start the fight. Those bitches did

I thought you were going to beat the shit out of that Kelly bitch when she said that to me lol ~Julie

Well Brandon had me by the shirt. He never lets me fight. I'm still going to beat up that bitch that scratched the truck too by the way when I find her. On the other hand, you throwing your drink in Kelly's face was pretty damn funny. She was just like UGH! haha. I wish I had a camera, any other time I have one except this time ~Jessica

Well I'm sorry don't come over to my table when I'm out with friends and pretend to be nice and then make rude ass comments. Maybe I can't fist fight but I can still play dirty. If she wants to make smart ass comments about me being pregnant, I can make plenty of comments about her freakin ugly ass face and screwed up nose job she got, she looks like Michael Jacksons twin sister. Freakin ho~Julie

Well I was watching the other girl waiting for her to try to stick her nose into it, by the way, she needed a nose job. Brandon would of had my shirt but I wouldn't of been in it I would of been on her haha. I can't believe they asked us to leave those bitches should of had to leave ~Jessica

Well, I threw the drink

I wish I would of thrown a punch, damn if I'm going to get kicked out I want to get kicked out for a good reason. I'm still going to beat those bitches asses, I got alot of asses to beat ~Jessica

lol.

So Ryan is definately going to get to come to his own birthday party this year isn't he? ~Jessica

Yes, I talked to him and he has a few days off work. I know we've had parties in between July and October, why the hell haven't we written about them? ~Julie

Because, you're pregnant, and I, I'm just lazy ~Jessica

Well that's true. haha.

Shut up

Ryan is so lucky that his birthday is so close to Halloween. I wish mine was. I love Halloween ~Julie

You're costume is so funny. Where the hell did you find a materinty wedding dress anyway on such short notice? ~Jessica

At that discount store downtown, you know the one with the blue chairs out in front of it? The lady thought I was really getting married, cause I said yeah I'm a going to be a knocked up bride, and she's like, well I gave you a discount to congratulate you, and I took it hell, I didn't want to spend a lot on that dress. I don't even think it was maternity, I think it was just for a really big bride, not to be mean ~Julie

Hahahaha

So what's up with you and Ryan anyway?~Jessica

I don't know. I like him. And I know he likes me. But it's complicated.

But you and Jake aren't together, what's complicated about it? ~Jessica

Jake and I decided that it was better we raised the babies as friends, we fight to much to have a romantic relationship, but I don't know that things are exactly over between us ~ Julie

I understand that. But it seems like you and Ryan are close. Any thoughts on a more romantic relationship with him?~Jessica

I can't expect him to take on the responsiblities I have. And being so far along in my pregnancy, do I really want to start another romance? Mostly I don't want to hurt him, and frankly, I'm tired of being hurt.~Julie

Yeah, I understand. But I don't think he'd hurt you~Jessica

Okay, then I think I would hurt him. First of all, his family HATES me. Then my life is so screwed up right now. Jake and I are just friends, I know, but he's a big part of my life, and there's so much drama going on, I don't want Ryan to have to go through that. But I don't want him to think I don't care about him~Juie

I don't know what to tell you, except maybe you should talk to Ryan about all this

Can we just Not talk about this right now? It stresses me out~Julie

Sure

We haven't written on this page in so long. I guess with you being about six months pregant we don't have to write much about it since this is all we seem to talk about these days. Just thought I'd update our page alittle ~Jessica

So what should I do about Jake? ~ Julie

Well what do you want to do? Jake and you aren't actually dating so you don't owe it to him~Jessica

Well, I know It would make things easier on Jake if I moved to California, since he works out of there and it would be easier for him to have contact with the twins if we were in at least the same state, but I really like it here in FL. And I don't know, am I selfish to say that I feel like if I move to California I'm giving up my whole life here just for him? My family is here, you're here. I don't know if I want to leave all that behind. I know I wouldn't be alone in Cali, I know plenty of people but I don't know, I can't explain how I feel~Julie

Well, I can see where Jake is coming from. His boss is in Cali and he's always working in Cali, so when he has a few days off it would be easier for him if he could just drive across town to see his kids then fly all the way to FL to see them, and if you were in CA, he could participate more in your pregnancy. But I can see where you are coming from too. I'm not sure I would want to move if I were you either. Like you said, you have family here, and me of course haha. But I don't know, maybe you should just meet him halfway, like we talked about earlier. Go visit him for awhile, maybe you'll end up liking it there~Jessica

But see that's another problem. There is no way Jake and I can live together for a long period of time, we always find something to argue about, and I don't want to spend the next couple months living in a hotel room in Cali.~Julie

I don't know what the solution is either~

Merry Christmas Julie!

Merry Christmas Jessica! Lol

I think you should take my dad up on his offer~Jessica

I don't know, you're dad seems really sweet, but I barely know him. Well, except that he is studly

Shut up!

Sorry

Okay, I know you don't know him that well. But Jules, if you stay in his place you can still be close to Jake, and you won't be alone in California. And better yet, you won't have to stay at a hotel, since you say you can't live with Jake. And besides, my dad's place is a freakin mansion. You'll have a practically a whole damn wing to yourself.~Jessica

I feel like I would be bothering him. I doubt he would want me staying there, especially after the babies are born. Which won't be very long, according to the doctors, they expect me to go in the next month

Which is why you need to get to Cali now, before you pop

I hate that expression

Sorry it's from hanging around Brandon too long. But Seriously Julie, One thing about my dad, is that he doesn't offer to do anything if he doesn't seriously want to do it. And besides, he's always gone off in court or something, he's hardly ever home anyway

Well after talking to him tonight I think I will take him up on his offer. He really is a sweet guy~Julie
Happy 2003!
Julie, it's been while since you've been gone to California, and even though we talk on the phone, I thought it would be nice to update our page. I can't believe that you are eight months pregnant now. I bet you look so different then when I saw you at Christmas. Don't worry I'll give your clothes back once you get back to your old size, in the meantime, no use letting them go to waste. How is living with Christian? I know I know, I can hear you now, "you're dad is so hot" okay lets not start that. Talk to you soon ~Jessica

You're dad is hot. You know, the man is 40 but he looks like he's about 29, especially with his shirt off, damn what a body. It doesn't help that I have raging hormones right now and I'm living with a stud. Haha. He is so great for letting me stay here until after the twins are born. I can't wait to see you again, you're coming soon, right?~Julie

Yes, I'll be there in a couple weeks, to help you with the babies and also to help Ava finish planning for her wedding. I am so happy her for and Jay, it seems like yesterday they were meeting and already they are getting married.

Julie, just a quick congratulations on the babies. (Side note, they were born 1/11/03), not that we'll forget that haha. Anyways, by the time you read this, I will already be in Cali, but you don't know that yet, it's a surprise. ~Jessica

Welcome to the world: Dylan Andrew and Damien David

Hey, since you had the babies early, you won't be pregnant in Jay and Ava's wedding

Thank God

You looked beautiful pregnant

But now I have over a month or so to get back to my regular size!~Julie

Dylan and Damien are so adorable

Aren't they though? Best thing I ever did was have those two. I can't believe how much I love them. People talk about the love but now I know what they mean

I'm so jealous lol ~Jessica

Go have a baby with Brandon

Don't even mention babies to him, he will totally freak lol

Hey, guess what? Dylan and Damien are One month old today! ~Julie

are we going to go through this every month? ~Jessica

probably

haha, just checking

I'm so excited about Ava's party tonight. It will be fun just us girls~Jessica

Yes! And this is the first party I've really been to since the babies were born! I'm ready damn it~Julie

Yay! and you can drink haha!

But you know what is more exciting then that?

*SIGH* that you can fit into your old clothes again, I know I know~Jessica

Haha

>br> Two more days before Ava's wedding! I really hope you found some shoes that were comfortable this time, or else I'm going to have to listen to you B*tching for hours upon end. I can't wait till the wedding, I'm going to look so beautful in my bridesmaid gown! Haha, I'm so funny. Can you imagine what we're going to be like on our wedding days if we are this excited and giddy now? ~Julie

I will look much prettier in my dress! Haha. I did find some comfortable shoes, but the ass-nine clerk somehow got them mixed up so when I got home I had red shoes. RED! What the hell was I going to do with red shoes? So I had to turn around and go all the way back to the freakin store to exchange them. I would of took you with me but I didn't for two reasons, One I didn't want to listen to you bitch about how I always wait until the last minute to do things like this, and two, I didn't know where, or who, the hell you ran off with. Oh, and don't mention marriage around Brandon, he'll think I'm picking out dresses and start freaking out. I do love the way I look in my dress though, if I can say so again. Now if only Ava would quit thinking about herself long enough to do my hair for me. I have to look good for her wedding.
Haha! ~Jessica

Did you change the color of this page? Oh well. I will just have to change it back. Oh, and I think that I will be the one looking better in the bridesmaids gown. ~Julie

Yeah right haha

Shut up

It's hard to believe that all that planning for the wedding is over, the wedding went so fast. I am so jealous that Jay and Ava are married dang it, I want to go on a honeymoon. If this doesn't make much since it's because I'm overly tired, I haven't slept the last few nights, by the way, where did you disapear to last night? You left the reception by midnight, I know, because I looked for you at 12:02 and 12:15 and 12:17 and no I'm not exaggerating, you can ask Brandon you were no where to be find. So WHERE were you? Or do I want to know? ~Jessica

Oh geez. I was tired, so I went back home.

Sure you were tired

I was, but Christian was up working on some case so I sat and talked to him for awhile before I went to bed~Julie

Yeah, the babies were at Jakes moms, I was staying at Brandon's, and you expect me to believe that all you and my dad did was talk?

Thought you didn't want to hear about it?
I don't

Why is there something to hear about?

LoL no. Although I do have to say one thing. If I didn't know better, I'd guess him to be in his late twenties, especially with that body~Julie

My dad isn't even old

Hell no he isn't. I didn't mean it like that. He just looks late twenties instead of 40

And he acts it too. and he's always telling me to grow up! ~Jessica

Haha

We haven't written in a long time, what new has been going on? ~Julie

I hear that you and my dad kissed, is that true?~Jessica

Christian and I are just friends. But would it bother you that much? We're both single, and he's a stud.~Julie

No it wouldn't bother me, I just wanted to know. Is it going to go anywhere?

I don't know how I feel around him. I mean sometimes I really like the man and other times he drives me crazy

Sounds like him haha

It's just one minute I think we are really close, and the next minute he's pushing me away, it's like you can almost see the walls going up~Julie

Well, I think it's just a defense thing. My dad has always been like that. I know my mom died when I was just a baby but I don't think he's had a serious relationship since then. We both know he has relationships, he's a bigger slut then you or me haha. But he doesn't let people get close, never has. I think that he knows that if he gets involved with you, it will be something serious, and that scares him ~Jessica

Whatever

I see how happy he is around you. I'm serious. I know my dad better then anyone

Well I like him too. But I'm not even going to try.

Why?

Everytime I get in a relationship it gets screwed up. (D, Jake, Ryan). I'd rather be friends then nothing~Julie

First of all, we could spend months talking about D, and still not have that one covered. And you're relationship with Jake isn't screwed up, you two seem better friends now then you ever did. And you and Ryan are still friends

I don't want to talk about this

You never do

Then leave it alone

Fiiine.

I had a dream the other night. I dreamt that Mark Wahlberg came over and played basketball with Brandon and Brandon beat him, and Mark Wahlberg got mad and kissed me and Brandon punched him, and started screaming at me to leave his house, and I was like, this is my house, you leave, then Christian came out and said no Brandon lives here now, you leave, and he waved his hand at me to go, and it had a potholder on it, so I grabbed the potholder, and he didn't have a hand, and he was going give me my hand back and I turned and ran with it then I woke up~Jessica

You have some weird twisted dreams

Look whose talking

I had a dream that I was pregnant again, but I didn't know who the dad was, and all these guys were lined up to be tested to see if they were the dad, and there was our nasty neighbor from down the street, and he tested positive, and I was screaming he's not the dad! He's not the dad! and he stuck his tongue out and was like rolling it across his teeth at me, I was crying so hard I woke myself up~Julie

Well any dream about our neighbor would be a nightmare~Jessica

I don't know why that guy is in my dreams. Remember the time I told you I dreamt that I was kissing him and I liked it and he was pushing me away telling me to stay away from him and I was begging him to kiss me? I feel sick just thinking about it ~Julie

You know you really want him

Oh yes I can't deny my attraction for him anymore

I knew it you slut

Shut up skank

Julie and Phil sitting in a tree...

IJ said shut up geeez

Phil, Phil, Phil

Freddy, Freddy, Freddy. One Two Freddy's coming for you

Okay truce.

Hey, Dylan and Damien are 4 months old today! ~Julie

I'm surprised you didn't go back up and fit that in for every month~Jessica

Too much work lol

you're crazy

I know

Guess who I saw the other day? Ryan. Oooh Julie he was looking good. You know how his hair was brown and blond? Now it's just all blond. And he was looking tan too. I'd do him, if I wasn't so in love with Brandon~Jessica

I would of done him too if I wouldn't of been pregnant at the time haha. ~Julie

Well, you're not pregnant now

I know, haha

haha

well now that you're moving in with Brandon, I'm going ot have to keep you up to date on things that are going on around here. I'll start with this morning. Christian was looking so good today. He came downstairs with out a shirt on and he had just got out of the shower or something cause his hair was wet and his skin was a muscular and shiney and he just looked good damn~Julie

Shut up you sick ass bitch, I told you, as long as I don't have to hear about it. Nasty Ho ~Jessica

How do you like your new place?~Julie

I like it alot, but I'm kind of lonely with Brandon leaving. Most likely I'll be in and out of the mansion while he's gone so you two better not be doing anything gross~Jessica

Why didn't you just stay in FL with Brandon and Jake?
Because, like you said, Cali is home now. And where was I going to stay? with your parents and Cherry? It was uncomfortable listening to them argue~Jessica

I know. Cherry wants to come visit me when school is out, I might let her for awhile, just so they can give each other a break~Julie

That will be nice, It'll be neat to have Cherry around~Jessica

I'm so happy about Ava and Jay, I can't believe they are going to have a baby!~Jessica

I know, my babies will have a friend lol! ~Julie
Jes, I'm sorry about what happened with Brandon, are you okay girl? You seem really sad and withdrawn, I'm here if you need me~Julie

He just makes me so mad. It's a good thing he's still in FL right now because if he was here, I'd probably say things that I didn't really mean. How can you love someone so much and hate them at the same time?~Jessica

Very easily. That's my life story as you know~Julie

I just thought he loved me. We just moved in together damn it, how can he just cheat on me? He says he was drunk, and maybe he was. But it's no excuse for what he did~Jessica

He does love you Jes. Seriously, I'm not justifying his actions at all, but I know he's sorry. He just got around all those guys in FL and started listening to them tell him he was whipped. and he is haha. No seriously, this is the first real relationship Brandon has been in. If you didn't love each other, you wouldn't of stayed in it for so long. Guys are stupid~Julie

So guys are stupid justifies what he did?

I never said that. I just meant that, I don't know, I'm the last person to be giving love advice these days

Let's not talk about it anymore. I just want to forget about Brandon for now. I'm moving all my stuff back to the mansion, and maybe someday we will forgive each other, but for now I don't even want to think about it~Jessica

Okay. Too much thinking just causes problems anyway

Speaking of problems, how are things going with you? It seemed like you and Christian were getting closer, then all of a sudden, he's dating that woman again. I hate that woman anyway, she just uses him for his money I know it. ~Jessica

Christian is a grown man, he can do what he wants, we were never offically dating anyway

could of fooled me. You two have been inseperable these last few months and now he's with her, what's up with that?

He's your dad, you tell me

He's scared, I'm telling you. He's scared of getting close. He can keep that woman at arms length, and she won't care. No woman has ever cared that much. Until you. It scares him. I don't think he knows how to act~Jessica

I'd like to think I was that important

Maybe it's because Jake is back in town now. Everytime Jake is in town he seems to push you away

He pushed me away before Jake came back in town. And besides, Jake's in town for mother's day, what am I suposed to say? Stay away? ~Julie

I think Jake is in town for more then mothers day

What do you mean?

Nothing.


Well are you going to tell me this news you've been talking about all night?~Jessica

Jake asked me to marry him last night~Julie but you knew about the proposal before I did, ddin't you ~Julie

Yes, but I'm still excited for you. Are you going to say yes or no?

I don't know

what's not to know?

You know what's not to know

I thought you were going to forget about that?

It's kind of hard considering. You aren't much help either ~Julie

well you asked me what I thought.

I didn't think you'd be so honest

What does Christian say about all this anyway?

He told me I should do it. That Jake is the father of my babies and that he loves me, and that he can give me a good life, with out all the baggage blah blah

So he pushed you away again. ~Jessica

Basically. And started dating other women again.

My dad is such an idiot

I told Jake yes, by the way.

Congratulations Julie. Let me know when you start making wedding plans. Have you and Jake set a wedding date yet? ~Jessica

Thanks bitch, Jake is such a cutie isn't he? No date yet, no idea what I want for my wedding. ~Julie

November 8th? Damn you two aren't wasting any time are you? Then again you did have the babies first so you do tend to do things ass backwards don't you? Hahahaha! ~Jessica

Well sometimes being a slut pays off, unlike you, who has never got a proposal, hahaha. Ok, let's be nice. I have only five months to pull this wedding together. what do you think of a live band? I am really interested in this. ~Julie

That was just wrong. You can just forget about me being in your wedding. By the way, I am in your wedding right? Besides, you know what I'm really thinking right now, and you don't want to get into that discussion again with me do you? I didn't think so. A live band sounds cool, We're in Los Angeles, there's got to be some good ones around here somewhere. Talk to Nick, or someone that hangs around Jay's, they'll know I'm sure.~Jessica

No, I don't want to get into that discussion again

Haha, that's what I thought. Don't test me bitch, I got a big mouth remember?

Yeah I've heard from about every man you've gone out with, slut. ~Julie

Yeah and the only man who hasn't said that about you is the one you really want to do! Anyway, I thought this was suposed to be nice. How are the wedding plans coming? ~Jessica

Well you and Ava are bridesmaids, that's for sure. And I'm pretty sure Jamie is going to be a bridesmaid also, but I'm still not sure how big I want the wedding, I know Cherry will want to be in there too. ~Julie

We'll talk about this later, I'm coming to pick you up to look at dresses so be ready bitch. ~Jessica

Oh, Julie, guess who I heard was in town? Okay, I didn't hear, I ran into him. And he asked about you. And he looked good too. I told him to call you and I gave him your new cell number. So when that phone rings, haha. ~Jessica

He called already. We're suposed to meet up a club tonight, maybe hang out. It will be good to see him again, I've missed him~Julie

How did it go?

Wonderful! Speaking of wonderful, I think it's so wondeful that you and Brandon have been working things out~Julie

Me too. I really do love him. It will take some time but I'm more miserable without him so I'm willing to forgive and work things out~Jessica

that's wonderful

When are you picking up Cherry at the airport tomorrow? Do you want me to go with you? ~Jessica

I have to get her around six, you can come if you want to

I'll go, you know how the guys feel about us going to LAX alone.~Jessica

So how does Cherry like California? ~Jessica

She takes pictures of everything! Was I like that when I first came to California?

I don't know, I didn't know you that well when you first came to California. When I first went to FL I was like that ~Jessica

I'm sure I was like that too. What are we talking about? Neither of us can go anywhere without our camera's now lol ~Julie

I know haha

You ever think about what things would be like if we had never met? I was thinking about that the other day, what life would of been like these last few years if we wouldn't of been friends? ~Julie

It'd be a lot different that's for sure. I can't imagine you not being there for all the crazy things that have happened over the years. But if you think about it, I think that eventually we would of had to meet. I mean I know we basically met through Nick, but not really. I mean, you knew him first, but I still met him myself, at the little shop I worked at when I thought I actually wanted to work instead of living off my dad (can you believe I was ever that stupid, who wants to work? lol, just kidding) No but seriously, then by chance we met at that party because you knew Nick, and I kind of knew Nick, so I guess what I'm saying is that if we hadn't of become friends when we had, we would of eventually, hanging out in the same crowds and stuff, I'm just glad it happened when it did ~Jessica

Aww, me too. You're so sweet lol. So in a way, we can credit Nick for the two of us being friends, in a twisted sort of sense. ~Julie

Do we really have to give him that much credit?? Naw I'm kidding, I love the big goofball ~Jessica

Me too. I agree though, the way we act, we'd had to of met up sometime. Jake told me the other day he never met two people that were so close to each other but so completely different then each other. I was like, um, Jake, what about us? ~Julie

You and Jake are complete opposites, but then I think you two are too much alike sometimes, and that's why you have problems ~Jessica

Whose playing doctor shrink now?

How does it feel?

Annoying quit

Haha. When Cherry spent the night Thursday, she was rolling around on Brandon's side of the bed, smelling his pillows and stuff, that girl is so crazy lol~Jessica

I still don't see why she didn't wait until Monday, when he left so the pillows actually smelled like him

Well, most likely she probably will, but I don't think that Brandon is leaving on Monday, When I talked to him tonight and he said he and Jake were coming in for the weekend he sounded like only Jake was leaving on Monday. Besides, I don't mind Cherry staying over, I promised her she could stay one night while Brandon was home~Jessica

I'm sure Brandon will love that

He loves having her around, makes him feel studly that she thinks he's hot.

Cherry thinks every man is hot. I'm scared at the thought of her turning 18 in a year, can you imagine what she'll be like then? (just kidding lol)

Don't burst his bubble Julie lol

Haha.

And besides, when she stays here it gives you and Christian some alone time.

Jes, I'm getting married to Jake. He's coming in town Tomorrow, I need to be focused on him. Christian and I have two seperate lives

Except that the two of you do EVERYTHING together. Everytime I turn around you two are going out, or your out with the twins, or your hanging out, or your hanging in, or your eating out, or you're eating in, or your...you get the picture ~Jessica

We're out, I get it

Julie, if you are in love with him why don't you just tell him?

I love Jake

I know you do. There is no doubt in my mind that you love Jake very much.~Jessica

I do. But why am I sensing a "but"?~Julie

There's different kinds of love Jules, and you know it. You love Jake, and you always will, he's the father of your babies, he takes care of you, he makes you happy. Yes, you love him~Jessica

BUT?

I'm just going to say it. I don't think that you are IN Love with Jake. I think you are with Jake because you feel safe with him. Like I said, he's a nice guy, he treats you great, and he's the father of the twins. But, I guess I'm just concerned for you. Julie when you were with D, you could tell you were in love with him, and it didn't work out, I know that. And I'm not trying to make comparisons with the past, it's the past after all. All I'm saying, is that I don't see that with you and Jake. The "lightening romance" that you had with D. I see comfortableness with Jake, and I don't know, maybe I'm not really going anywhere with this. You're probably going to be mad when you read this. I'm sorry~Jessica

I'm not mad. but I'm not happy. I'm confused. Jessica, "Lightening Romances" aren't all they are cracked up to be. Yes, being with D was great. When I was with him, there was never a dull moment, but I also think that's what made it not last. There was always something coming between us, you know because you went through the same thing. So I don't have that "school girl crush" feeling when I'm with Jake, so what. That's a dangerous feeling anyway. One of the things I LOVE about Jake, I don't have to guess with him, you know. I know he loves me, and I don't have to question that. Yes I hate the fact that he's gone 3 weeks out of every month, and that I barely get to see him, and I hate fighting with him, but I also feel very comfortable with him. I know that things will be okay once I'm married to him~Julie

So you're just going to push aside the other feelings you have?

About what?

You know who I'm talking about

Sometimes you just have to push aside feelings. You have to be realistic. I think that we should quit writing about this now

Oh, okay. Hey, while we're at it, maybe we should just erase this whole damn page, will that help you to erase the feelings you have also? ~Jessica

Maybe. Maybe we should erase this page anyway. Nothing on it is that important anymore. Look at the stuff we've talked about, it's stupid. It's time to talk about something new in our lives. Start a new page~Julie

No, we are not erasing this page. It's the place we've come to talk about things going on in our lives for over two years, some of them have been good, some bad. But we have to deal with them. And erasing this page isn't going to make them go away anymore then it's going to make your feelings you are having now go away~Jessica

Fine. Then can we just not talk about my feelings right now? Jake and Brandon are coming in town. I just want to enjoy the weekend without thinking too much ~Julie

Okay, but we'll talk about this later?

I guess

Since you haven't written this, I will. Dylan and Damien are five months old today! (June 11, 2003)

Okay, week gone by without talking lady, what in the world is going on with you and Jake? I'm your best friend, then I hear about things from Brandon. He said that you and Jake aren't getting Married, what the hell? ~Jessica

I'm sorry, it's just that everything is happening so fast. i told you that I wanted to talk to Jake and tell him that I wanted to postpone the wedding, remember? ~Julie

and what, he got mad and canceled it?

No. I talked to Jake, and I was like, Jake, I love you, but I just think that things seem to be moving really fast between us lately. I mean we went from just being friends to engaged within a few days, we didn't even have a transition period there, were we decided that we wanted to start dating again. I mean I know that we've been together off and on for over a year, and knew each other before that, but it's not the same as being together together you know And I know that this was partly my fault because I told him yes, I wanted to marry him, and I do love him, but I just needed some more time. So Jake took that really well, he said he knows that he just sprang this whole proposal thing on me, and it was a suprise, and a wedding in November is rushing things, and that I could have as much time as I needed, when I was ready to get married, we'd get married. ~Julie

So then the wedding isn't off?

There's more. That all happened last Saturday, when they came in town. Well, then Wednesday and Thursday, Jake and I spent a lot of time together, but we just seemed to agrue about everything. Not even argue, just snap at each other, but not in a cute way. I thought that postponing the wedding would take some of the pressure off of us, you know? Because this last half a year or more whatever, since we've only been just friends, we've got along so well, we hardly ever faught, so I thought, you know maybe the pressure of a wedding was getting to us, but postponing it didn't help either. I hate fighting with him so much but it's like we can't help it. Well, then Thursday we dropped the twins off at his moms to do a few things, and we got into ANOTHER little fight, and I just said without thinking, this is why I don't want to get married. And everything got so quite in the truck it was scary. And he pulled over and looked at me and he's like, you don't want to marry me? And I was just like Jake, it's not that I don't want to marry you, I just don't want to do this all the time. I want to be happy, and I want us to have a decent relationship, when we're together all we do is fight, I don't know why but we do. And getting married isn't going to solve this problem. We have such a good relationship now, just being friends. We share kids together, and we love each other. Maybe we're just supposed to have that kind of relationship and not a romantic one. Blah blah you know. He was pissed of course, and hurt. But we talked for a good hour just sitting there in his truck, I cried, he hit the steering wheel a couple times, but in the end, after confessing alot of unspoken doubts to each other that we've BOTH had since we got engaged, I thought that we had worked things out, he was agreeing with me all the way that we should call the wedding off and just remain friends, I know he was hurting, I was too, but It seemed like we both agreed that not getting married was the right decision.~Julie

So then what's with the bitterness now?~Jessica

Someone told Jake that last week they saw me and the twins out and was going to come over and say hi to the new happy family but it turned out to be Some other guy (Christian) out with me. So now Jake has decided that he wants split custody of Dylan And Damien. I am so upset. I told Jake that I would NEVER and have Never keep his kids from him, and he knows that, he told me so, but he wants to make it "offical"~Julie

That's stupid. It sounds like he's just being an asshole now. What kind of friend would say something like to Jake anyway? ~Jessica

I don't know. You know his dumb friends. You know how guys fill each others heads with stupid shit. Even if I did eventually get involved with another man, I would never deny Jake the right to see his kids.

And he won't let you two just work out some kind of private agreement between the two of you?

No, he's listening to his friends to much now

Guys are so stupid, why do they listen to all the stupid stuff their friends say? When are they going to learn that their friends just are miserable and want them to be too~Jessica

Yeah that'll happen, lol

Well I'm here for you, you know that

Thanks

You want to get together tonight? Cherry is staying at Nady's house down the street again, and Jake has the twins this weekend since it's fathers day. See? Right there proves I let him take them when he wants. Forget that, I don't want to think about it until Monday Julie

Sure we can do something, didn't Cherry stay at Nady's last night? ~Jessica

Well, yes and no. you know how she and Nady came down and watched Jason movies with me and you and Ava until the guys came home?

Yeah
Well after you and Brandon and Jay and Ava left, me and Christian and Jarrod were sitting in the front room and all of sudden here comes Cherry and Nady, banging on the door and screaming. Nady's parents had apparently gone out, and those two had freaked the crap out of themselves, insisting that they saw someone outside. We told them if there was actually someone outside, it was probably that group of teenagers down the street that saw two girls home alone and wanted to have some fun. But anyway, they ended up staying here and hung out downstairs in the game room all night. So tonight they are going to stay at Nady's again

They are so silly. I'm glad Cherry found someone else to hang out with also while she's here

Me too. She's sweet, and she's 17, Cherry's age, so they have more in common. I'm sure she gets bored hanging around us all day

I'm offended!

Haha.

Okay then, I'll see you later tonight~Jessica

Jules, tell me about the custody agreement, what did the lawyer say? Are you going to court? ~Jes

Part of me would just like to just to show him. But really we both want to stay out of the courts if it's possible. Here's how things stand basically
I have custody of the twins the majority of the time, when Jake has his week off work every month then he gets them. But we put in some stipulations. Such as Jake can't decide at the last minute that he isn't going to come home and just not show up, if it's his week to have the twins he needs to be there, unless an emergency comes up, in which he gives 24 hours notice, or if a work related situation comes up, he needs to give me 48 hours. I didn't want Jake to just be able to waltz in and out of the twins lives whenver it was convientant for him. That and it's hard you know, to live my own life if I have to plan it around Jake, I don't want to make plans for them to go and then he calls two hours before he's supposed to get them and says I can't get them or something, or I don't want him to show up with no notice at all and just want to take them. Granted I will probably let him have the twins as often as he likes, when he's off longer and in special situations, things like that. I already said I wasn't going to be one of those people who keep their kids from their father, but if Jake wants this to be a formal thing, then I went ahead and added things I would like to the agreement also, mainly changes of schedule ahead of time and stuff like that~julie

That makes since. You two seem to be getting along alittle better

Well we always get along better when we're not together, and he's leaving, so of course we're getting along. I love him but It's better this way

I agree. Have you given any more thought to the FL thing? ~Jessica

Yes I have actually. I mean, Jake is going to be gone, so I don't have to worry about him, and my dad and Autumn would love to see the twins ~Julie

And Christian is leaving for the week on business so it's not like he's going to be around either ~Jessica

very funny

I was just pointing out the convience of it all. I really want to go to FL this weekend. ~Jessica

I guess it is for a good cause. And it would make me feel like a hypocrite for not going considering ~Julie

And we already paid, so it's kind of pointless not to go. And I'm looking forward to the after party

Oh yes we can't forget that can we? LOL

I'll make some reservations

I will. Last time you screwed us up

LOL. What about Cherry?

She doesn't want to go back to FL, and it's not like she's a kid, so she should be fine here, she's going to stay with Nadia and Nady's staying there so she'll be fine

I agree

Hey Jules, I was going to write to you on our page, and I decided, you know what? Instead of trying to sum up everything we've talked about into one big paragraph, I'm going to post the chat we just had, so in a few months when everything works out, I can make you go back here and show you how rediculous you sounded in your own words! So here it is~Jessica

The Chat:

Jessica, This weekend was so much fun, especially Friday, but you know what? I'm ready to go home~Julie

I know what you mean, even though it was good to see everyone again down here I'm ready to go too~Jessica

Well the first thing I do when I get back to California is go apartment hunting. ~Julie

What??? This is the first I've heard about this, why? I thought you liked living with Christian

Just hear me out on this. I only moved in there because I needed somewhere to stay for awhile, and my stay has ended up being six months already, give or take. And now you moved out again, and now that I am not going to get married to Jake, I think me and the twins need to get out on our own. Christian has been so sweet, I'm sure he doesn't want me and the twins there when he's trying to entertain ladies. ~Julie

He said you can stay as long as you like. You know he doesn't care

Okay then maybe I care~Julie

Care to explain this one or are you going to make me walk all the way down the hall to your hotel room?~Jessica

I had kind of a revelation while I was here

A revelation about what?

Friday night, there I was sitting there in the club, having a good time, really glad to see people, you know what I mean about that so I'm saving space here lol, and all of a sudden it hit me, this isn't where I want to be right now. I mean, I was glad I was there, I had alot of fun, but it's like, I don't know I can't describe the feeling. You know how I am, usually at something like this, my mind is on this only, you know, nothing else as important. It was the weirdest feeling, mixing it up with all kinds of people and reliving the past alittle and I didn't even want to really, all I seemed to be able to think about was going home to California to see Christian. I know you don't like to hear me talk about this, but I need to. I honestly never thought I'd feel this way again, actually, I feel alittle more intense then I did before. Does that make since? ~Julie

Love sucks doesn't it? I never thought I'd feel that way about anyone else then I met Brandon,and one day we were out to dinner and he was telling me some funny joke and it just hit me, damn I really love this guy. That's why even after everything that happened between us, I still wanted things to work out. I miss him so much when I'm not with him, I coudln't imagine not being with him. So back to you, sorry to change the subject. I don't mind you talking about it, I told you that before. It really doesn't bother me~Jessica

Well now you understand why I need to move out?

If it makes you feel better, he feels the same way about you ~Jessica

How do you know?

Gee let's see-duh lol. He's my dad, and he's one my best friends too, we talk about this stuff~Jessica

You guys talk about me?

The man is crazy about you, even if he has a funny way of showing it~Jessica

Then why everytime we get close he pushes me away?

Because he thought you belonged with Jake, since he is the father of your babies, he thought that Jake and you should try to make it work, and he knew that if he wanted to distance himself from you he had to be mean and push you away. But unfortunately, since things didn't work out with Jake, he's probably going to take even longer to make a move, unless you do it, because he's going to think you need time to heal from your relationship with Jake ~Julie

You two actually talk about all this?

In crazy little round about ways yes lol

But Jake and I are fine. I mean, emotionally, post romantically I mean. I mean, Jake and I are both smart enough and strong enough to admitt that we weren't in love with each other, and that getting married would just be a stupid mistake. We're not even bitter about breaking up. Truthfully, we're both relieved. Yeah he'll always be in my heart, just like D, but neither of them are in my heart that way anymore, you know, the way someone is in your heart where you're looking back wishing on them. ~Julie

You two just need to talk to each other. Both you and Christian are the most stubborn people I met. You're crazy about him, and he's crazy about you, and Dylan and Damien. Why don't you two quit playing mind games and just go for it? ~Jessica

It's scary that's why. I know that if Christian and I do get together, it's not going to be just some simple little romance. If I get involved with Christian, I don't ever want to be uninvolved with Christian, My heart hurts whenever he pushes me away when I get close now, I couldn't imagine what it would be like if we were together and he pushed me away. I don't think it's a chance I'm willing to take ~Julie

Listen to you. Both of you make me so damn mad. Julie, you were the one who pushed me into a romance with Brandon when he kept asking me out. Remember he was a totally man whore and I kept telling you I didn't want to get involved with him because I was afraid he'd hurt me, but you said, if you never take the chance you'll never know. And I did. And it's wonderful. If you never take the chance, you'll never know. Just talk to him~Jessica

We'll see how things go when we get back to California~Julie

A year from now we'll still be having this conversation~Jessica

Shut up lol. Well tell me about Brandon, what did he say where you talked to him? What are you two going to do for your anniversary? ~Julie

Well he gets off Fourth of July weekend, and he's off for a few days after that, so I thought we'd do the usual for the fourth that we do every year, plus I can't wait to see the twins face's when they see fireworks, then he told me he wants to take me somewhere special, but he won't tell me where. I'm so excited<~Jessica

Well don't expect too much of a reaction out of the twins, they will only be six months old, although I have to brag that my babies are incredibly smart for their age aren't they? Haha ~Julie

Yes they are!

Sorry, so where is Brandon taking you? ~Julie

I just told you it's a surprise

I bet I know

Where? Why did he say something to you about it?

He didn't say anything definate, and even if he did, I wouldn't tell you. No, he just asked me a question about it is all, and if it's where you go, trust me, you'll like it~Julie

Brat. Tell me

Brat? No haha~Julie

Hey Jessica, that was a good idea, posting that, that way you can go back and see how silly you sounded too, we should do that more often. I notice that you conviently cut off some of the statements you made in that chat~Julie

My post my editing haha~Jessica

Wait until the next chat then haha

The next chat:

Hey Julie

Hi Jes

So what happened after you and Christian left the bar last night? Are you okay? ~Jessica

Are you okay ?~Julie

Yeah I'm okay now, thanks for last night, sticking up for me I mean. I don't know why I let that woman get me so upset ~Julie

She was a bitch, don't pay any attention to her. You're welcome, I know you would of stood up for me too~Jessica

I am so mad at myself for letting her get to me like that

I understand, it's hard when people say stuff

It's just she hit a nerve you know, all those insecurities I was already feeling, she just brought them out all over again you know?~Julie

What did Christian say? I wanted to come after you but Jarrod wouldn't let me, he said you two needed to talk on your own and when I tried calling you later I got your voice mail~ Jessica

He was pissed off at first that I would believe anything she said to me. He said he thought he made it pretty clear the other night when he asked me not move out how he felt about me~Julie

I never even got to hear that whole story either, back up and start there ~Jessica

Can I nutshell it?

Nutshell it, but don't peanut shell it, I want some details ~Jessica

Haha, you are so funny

Haha now tell me

Okay, basically what happened was when we came back from FL I told Christian what I told you I was going to tell him, that now that Jake and I weren't getting married, I think that I should find a place of my own, because I can't expect to stay there forever, and I know that he would like to have his house back to normal. I mean I'm sure it put a damper in his lifestyle to have a woman and two little babies living with him when he's trying to entertain friends or women or whatever. Well you know he was like I told you before I don't mind you guys staying here it's not a problem, and so I was like it's a problem for me Christian and I think it's best if I move out, and I just kind of left it at that for the night. ~Julie

I know all of that, but you never told me exactly what it was he said to make you change your mind and stay. Now spill it ~Jessica

Oh geez, okay haha. Well the next day I went downstairs and Christian was up already, playing with the twins, he had already given them breakfast and changed them and stuff and I realized that I had slept in until 10:30, and I was like you should of woke me up I'm so sorry blah blah and I felt really bad and stuff because he was late to work and all that, and he said that he wasn't going into the office today, that he had some stuff he had to do and I was like I'm sorry or something again and he's like why do you keep aplogizing and I was like I don't know I don't know what else to say around you, and he's like why are you acting so weird and I'm like how am I acting weird and he's like, first you hit me with this bombshell about moving out, and now you act like your scared to be in the same room with me ~Julie

and ?

give me a minute my hand feels like it's going to fall off from typing so much.

Oh geez

Okay, so I was like, hanging my head and avoiding him and I was like I'm not scared to be in the same room with you, I just don't know what to say. (you know how when you really like someone you're all beating around the bush kinda and feeling shy? My heart felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest), and here Christian is thinking I'm pissed off at him or something, and he's like okay, what happened in FL? Because you were fine before you left for FL and you come back and you're barely talking to me and you're telling me you want to move out. Is it me? Are you having regrets that you broke it off with Jake, what? So finally I was like, it's you, and he got this look on his face this really cute sweet hurt look~Julie

awww

So I was like No Christian, it's not you in a bad way it's that I suddenly realized that I care alot more about you then I wanted to admitt and I think that if we distance ourselves from each other then we'll still be okay you know, we can still be friends and there won't be wierd feelings between us like there are now because you know I don't want you feeling sorry for me because I like have a crush on your or something and you think that's really cute it would be really weird. And he's grinning like a fool, and after he lets me go on for five minutes he just looks at me and he's like do you always have to over -analyze everything?~Julie

Haha I can see him, did he say it really calmly?

Yes

That's Christian geez lol. Okay, go on

So he takes my hand and sits me down on the couch with him and he's like, in case you haven't figured it out yet I'm pretty crazy about you too, and I was like you are? because it seems like everytime we get close you just push me away, and you always seem to have a new girl around so I thought you thought I was in the way or something, and he told me that it's always been easier for him to push people away then to admitt that he cares, and with the girls he dates now, he knows what they want, and he knows that it doesn't involve committment or a serious relationship, but that when it comes to me he doesn't know what I want, or if he could make me happy, and that he just thought that I'd be better off with someone like Jake.~Julie

But you didn't want to be with Jake, you wanted to be with him~Jessica

And that's what I told him. And he said, well, I want you to be with me too, I've wanted that for a long time now I just thought that you wanted someone better, and I was like now who is over-analyzing? ~Julie

And then you kissed!

And then we kissed lol. A lot ~Julie

That part I know plenty about I've witnessed it enough lately

Sorry

Don't apologize, I'm happy for you guys. I've never seen Christian so happy~Jessica

Well, he wasn't too happy last night after all that happened

He was probably more angry at me then you I haven't spoken to him today ~Jessica

Well, he was angry at me for believing the girl, he was angry at you for fighting with the girl ~Julie

Well I'm sorry, no one says rude things to my best friend ~Jessica

lol likewise. I just wish I would of stuck around long enough to see you punch the bitch ~Julie

Unfortunately, I got a blow or two in on Jarrod too, because he was trying to hold me back from her. I felt bad about that ~Jessica

I'm sure you made him feel better ~Julie

Well, I'm indebted to him for forever probably. It was alot easier to thank someone when I wasn't in a serious relationship ~Jessica

Haha you're so funny!

I can't help it I love Brandon ~Jessica

I know you do. And he loves you, so much it's sickening ~Julie

You have nothing to talk about. You and Christian are plenty serious yourselfs it sounds like. So what exactly happened last night after you two left~Jessica

He asked me why the hell I would even let her upset me. He said you know how she is, she would do anything to ruin a good relationship, she is a miserable person and she wants everyone else to be miserable too. He admitted though, that what she said was half true, but that isn't the person he is anymore. He said that he didn't even realize it himself until I told him that I was going to move away, and how sick the thought of losing me made him feel. When I leaned in to kiss him he mumbled that he wasn't supposed to be falling so hard for someone after only two dates, and so I just told him, buddy I fell for you a lot longer then two dates ago. And he did that grin again, the one I love so much you know? ~Julie

And then you kissed again!

Lol, yes, then we kissed again, a lot

I'm so happy for you two. Did you two, um, just kind of confirm that you're in love with each other?

Let's change the subject now ~Julie

Okay, tell me where Brandon is taking me this weekend ~Jessica

Trust me, you would be so pissed off at me If I did give in and tell you, you want this surprise ~Julie

Call me on the phone, My computer is moving slow

Okay

Jessica, so much has happened in such a short time, and niether of us has had time to write about it, so I am going to do a little summary/ commentary on everything that's been going on lately. First of let me tell you that I am so happy for you! I told you that you didn't want to know what the suprise was didn't I? Well, technically I couldn't of told you the whole surprise, I knew about the Hamptons part, I didn't know about the proposal part, but I think that's really awesome. You two are so made for each other, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a long engagement, it will give you two even more time to grow together-although I predict this wedding is going to happen sooner then later! I could go on forever about how happy I am for you but with this only supposed to be a quick summary of things I really need to move on, especially since I started this whole things assbackwards and commented on the most recent information first. I tend to do everything ass backwards don't I? Haha. I also have had a wondeful weekend. Jake took the twins Saturday morning and Cherry went away with J.W. and Nadia and her boyfriend for a few days so me and Christian have been able to have some real time together. I swear I fall for that man more and more every time we are together. He is so wonderful, I feel like our relationship has grown very serious very quickly, but in away, I kind of expected it too, for the last 5 months we had to fight the way we felt and now it's just great to be able to express it openly without the games. That's what I really like, no game playing, with Christian everything is so open and straight forward, I like not having to second guess everything. I was reading back over this whole page, and I swear some of the stuff we talked about that seemed so damn important back then just seems so trival now. You can really tell how much we've grown up just in the last year. And you know how before sometimes we looked back and had those "what if" conversations? I don't even want to think about "what ifs", and "if only's " anymore. I can actually say that I am truely happy, and after talking to you last night I know you totally agree with me on this in your own case. It took me a long time but now I can actually say that I can let the past go, and just cherish the friendships that have come from past relationships without regrets or hard feelings. I want people to feel as happy as I do right now. Whoa I'm getting deep here lol. Who did that sound like? Haha, anyway, I will talk to you later. And congratulations again, I am so happy for you! ~Julie

Hey Jules, sorry I took so long responding to everything you wrote, but things have been crazy haven't they?! With all the confusion, I noticed you didn't write that Damien and Dylan turned SIX MONTHS OLD on July 11, 2003. Anyway, I was going to respond to everything you wrote, but then you IM-ed me, so I decided, I'll just do our update in our chat format! Later, Jessica

Chat:

So how are things with you and Christian? ~Jessica

Wonderful, It's been a long time sense I've had these feelings, infact, I'm not really sure if I've ever had these feelings before ~Julie

Seriously? Even way back when?

Even way back when. Oh, I had feelings all right, but different, not as intense, I don't know how to even describe it ~Julie

You don't have too, I know how you feel.

I am so happy for you and Brandon. Any idea when the big day is yet?

We really don't want to get married right away. We both love each other like crazy, but aren't really ready. I know that sounds crazy considering we are engaged, but we want to grow together for awhile before we make it offical. Besides, I feel like it's offical already. We'll do it when we are ready, In the mean time, I just love being in love, and knowing someday I will be spending my life with him ~Jessica

I understand. And I see nothing wrong with your decision. I bet you're happy that he's off until August aren't you?

Yes! I love waking up every morning and having him right there!

Aww haha

Does Jake have the twins this weekend?

Until Sunday afternoon. Then I have them again. I feel so bad when they cry when he first takes them, but like I told him, Jake, they love you, but you have to understand that when you're gone for a month, even though they're glad to see you they still get alittle scared at the thought of going away for a few days. I know it hurts his feelings but there's not much I can do about it. ~Julie

That's true. Jake just has to understand that. It's his choice anyway to work out of town all the time

I don't even want to talk about Jake anymore right now, can we talk about something else?

Sure. How about you're stalker. Has anything else happened? ~Jessica

I don't have a stalker

Jules, you get annonymous flowers sent to you, candy, someone breaks into you're car and steals your personal stuff, (what the heck are they going to do with your chapstick anyway, scary thought), you get phone calls all hours of the night, no, you're right, you don't have a stalker ~Jessica

Okay, someone admires me

Alittle bit of extreme admiring isn't it?

You sound like Christian

Runs in the family. What does he say about all this?

That if it gets anymore extreme, meaning if anything else happens, I'm to report it to the police. Not much they can do if I don't even know whose doing it. Can't get a restraining order if I don't know who to restrain. Besides, it's not like it's physical threats

No but he's still violating you. Who wants to be scared to go outside or places alone?

I'm not.

Come on Julie. I know you. Did you tell Christian about the other night?

No, that was no big deal. Please don't tell, there's nothing to tell

Okay but I'm not promising. I guess being the daughter of a lawyer makes me take these things seriously too. ~Jessica

Can we not talk about this anymore either?

Okay. Hey do you want to do something tonight?

Like what?

I don't know, Brandon and They guys are going out so I'm bored

Me too. Christian and Jarrod were going to go to some get together tonight too, and cherry is staying at Nadia's

Well get off here and call me and we'll do something

Okay bye

bye girl

List of Hot Celebs

Email: JulieorJessica@usa.com