I WANT MY GARGLE GLOOP!!! MEAT EWWW, MEAT EWWW!!!
WELCOME TO THE INTERNET HOME OF THE 2003 LITTLE RAWK, ARKANSAS GARGLE GLOOP FESTIVAL! THIS YEAR IS THE FIRST YEAR OF THE FESTIVAL AND WE THINK THAT IT'S GOING TO BE SOMETHING THAT EVERYONE WILL FORGET! PRETTY SOON, YOU'LL BE HEARING EVERYONE MUTTERING THE WORDS "I WANT MY GARGLE GLOOP!" - AND SOMEWHERE CLOSE BY, A RESOUNDING "MEAT EWWW, MEAT EWWW!" WILL RING THROUGH THE WORLD, ECHOING INTO THE HEARTS OF THE YOUNG AND DISTURBED! THE GARGLE GLOOP FESTIVAL IS ALL ABOUT THE CUTTING EDGE BANDS OF TODAY, AND THE ONES THAT HAVE LED THE WAY. SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING PORNOGRAPHIC, SOMETHING POO - WE'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE AT GARGLE GLOOP! SAY WITH US, "I WANT MY GARGLE GLOOP!" YEAH, WE KNEW YOU'D COME!
NOT ONLY WILL SOME OF THE HOTTEST BANDS GIGGING AROUND TODAY BE PLAYING GARGLE GLOOP, BUT WE'LL ALSO BE PROVIDING SOME AWESOME EXTRA TESTICULAR ACTIVITIES FOR YOU TO CHECK OUT WHILE YOUR LITTLE BRAINS ARE MELTING TO THE SOUNDS!
IN ADDITION TO THE BANDS, WE WILL BE HAVING A FEW ART EXHIBITS, INCLUDING THE CRACKED OUT TRUCKERS MESH HAT EXHIBIT, FEATURING THE STINKIEST, SMELLIEST MESH HATS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD, SENT IN BY THE NASTIEST, CRUDEST, RUDEST, RAUNCHIEST, MOST CRACKED OUT TRUCK DRIVERS IN AMERICA! ANOTHER STAPLE IN THIS YEAR'S FESTIVAL, THE RATE MY POO PEOPLE WILL BE IN TOWN SHOWING OFF THEIR COLLECTION OF FECAL PLATTERS, FIT FOR ANY KING OR QUEEN ON THE FECAL SCENE!
NOTE: WE WILL NOT BE PROVIDING PARKING SPACES FOR MONSTER TRUCKS, SO IF THIS HAS TO DO WITH YOU, PLEASE BE PREPAIRED TO FIND YOUR OWN PARKING SPACE! THANKS - MGMT
THERE ARE ALSO SEVERAL GAMES BEING PLANNED FOR THIS YEAR! THERE WILL BE CHESS AND CHECKER TOURNIMENTS BEING HELD IN THE LOBBY, AND A MOUSTACHE RIDING COMPETITION IN THE BASEMENT, COMPLETE WITH CELEBRITY JUDGES RANGING FROM MEMBERS OF THE LOCUST AND JENNA JAMESON TO THE SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM SNAPPING BITE OF THE MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE! "OOOOHHH YEAHHH"!
AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH TO MAKE YOUR BALLS RETRACT INTO YOUR STOMACH, THIS YEAR, WE WILL BE HAVING A SLEW OF SPECIAL GUEST SPEAKERS AND HOSTS INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE LIKES OF TAMMY FAYE BAKER, JIM J. BULLOCKAND BURT REYNOLDS (WHO WILL ALSO BE A CELEBRITY JUDGE IN THE MOUSTACHE RIDE CONTESTS!) - WHO EVER THOUGHT THAT LIFE COULD BE THIS SWEET?
AND OF COURSE, ON THE MAIN FLOOR, THERE WILL BE SOME OF THE STRANGEST AND MOST BRUTAL BANDS RIPPING OUT THE CRAZIEST TUNES YOU'RE EITHER JAMMING TO RIGHT NOW OR HAVE NEVER HEARD IN YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE AND YOU WILL CREAM YOURSELF WITH DELIGHT TO THEIR AUDIO SOUNDS!
CAMPING AREAS WILL BE PROVIDED FOR PEOPLE WHO PURCHSE TICKETS FOR BOTH NIGHTS, PLEASE PEOPLE, DO NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS CAMPING SITUATION BY STEALING ANYTHING FROM THE BANDS WHEN THEY'RE SLEEPING OR BY URINATING ON THE FLOORS WHEN NO ONE SEEMS TO BE LOOKING. RESTROOMS, AFTERALL, WILL BE PROVIDED TO THOSE OF YOU WITH PROOF OF ADMISSION. THANKS!
TICKETS GO ON SALE AT TICKET MASTER ON JULY 4TH. FOR MORE INFORMATION AND PRICES, CONTACT YOUR LOCAL TICKET MASTER. VENUE AND PRICES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE BASED ON LOCATION. STAY TUNED FOR MORE UPDATES FOR THE FIRST EVER GARGLE-GLOOP FESTIVAL!
