12-05-01(Blue Christmas)
I thought it appropriate to do this page in blue, since I will be having a blue Christmas this year. I have also done my Christmas tree in all blue this year. I debated on whether to have one or not, but I remembered how Mom LOVED her Christmas tree and really couldn't understand the couple of years I didn't have one up. I guess everyone handles these things differently, but it seemed to me that if I didn't put a tree up this year, it would be disrespectful to her. Since it won't be a typical Christmas, I opted to put nothing that wasn't blue on the tree. Somehow, it has turned out to be the prettiest Christmas tree I have ever had. At least I think so. This will definately be a "Hard Candy Christmas" for my entire family. We all loved Mom very much, and she really WAS always Christmas to us. Every year at Christmas time, she became as excited as any child. Only it wasn't for herself. It was about getting to buy gifts and give them to all those she loved so dearly. I think Christmas shopping was her favorite thing in the world; besides going to church at Greenbranch. Mom loved her church. Yes, she is pretty much all I speak of lately. That is because she is always on my mind. I thank God for giving me such a wonderful Mom for 40 years, but am having a hard time understanding how He can give us such a perfect love, and suddenly snatch it away. As a mother, I know that there is no other such unconditional love. A mother's love is strong when you are weak or strong; right or wrong. Death is the only way we can lose the love of a good mother. And when we've lose that, we have lost a lot.
I guess I'd best get ready for bed. It is 1AM and I have to work tommorrow. Although I don't have to be there until 1PM, I have to get up and do laundry in the morning. I hope to be back soon, as writing here does help me when time permits it. Y'all take care.
Chris
12-12-01
My husband is on his way back from WV tonight. He had to go up and take care of some business. I know it's not right, but I can't help but be a little jealous. I had to stay here and work. I RARELY get two days off in a row. He gets to see BOTH his parents while he is there. He has also went to see about my Dad. Of course I love his parents and am glad we still have them. I just wish I still had both of mine, too. I also sometimes wish I had a job that didn't demand me to be on call 7 days a week. But...I did when I worked at Carquest. I had every weekend off and was miserable. I hated it there. I like where I work now. I just wish it had an organized work schedule instead of not knowing which days you will be off from week to week. Makes it hard to plan anything. I never realized what a creature of habit I am until recently. I LIKE order. It didn't used to mean that much to me, but the older I get the more it matters. Guess I'd best get off here. Gotta be back at work at noon tommorrow and have lots to do between now and then.
12-13-01
Can't be here long, as it is late. I don't know what is going on with me right now, but I feel STRANGE! I am surely not my lovable self. Maybe a wild hair. Been stressed for quite some time, but I suddenly have a "don't give a crap" attitude. Now THIS could be dangerous, as I do believe I was once like this before - before I got saved. Can't sweat it right now, because I can't even sweat the big stuff right now. Oh, well. Look out! Seems the angel is sprouting some horns. I guess sometimes it's mandatory - or sometimes it's just survival. A woman can only handle so much. Perhaps I'll explain myself later.
12-23-01
Well, this time last year, I was down with pneumonia. This year, I'm healthy, but down. It is 1:45AM, I still haven't finished my Christmas shopping, and today will be my last day off work before Christmas. Yes, I should be sleeping. I HATE to shop on Sundays, but Monday is Christmas Eve and I'll be working until 6:30. I volunteered to work as needed through the holidays, so that those with little ones could be at home as they should. Last year, I told my boss that I would be spending Christmas in WV with my Mom while I still could, but would be more flexable in years to come. Of course, I didn't get to be there last year because I was too sick. This year, she is spending Christmas in heaven. Feels like I am spending it in hell....for a lot of reasons. I DID put up the tree and am going through the motions this year as a tribute to my Mom, but I told my husband that he will finally get HIS kind of Christmas next year; none at all. Unfortunately, he doesn't know much about the joy of giving. There are many things he is missing out on, by choice. As for me, I am tired of the hassle each year. Too tired to fight it anymore; too tired of DEMANDING joy. So, there will be no Christmas here next year, and it won't surprize me if I am somewhere else by that time. There have been too many broken promises; too many shattered dreams.
12-27-01
My son lost his job of seven years yesterday due to a straw boss who hired in about a year ago. I told him that I was glad to see him gat away from there. He is 25 and started working there when he was only 17. It's a local tire sales and garage. Working in the automotive industry in this town as long as I have, I knew it was a dishonest garage, but didn't DREAM that he would actually STAY there! But I should have known he would try to, as he has never liked much change. It's one of the garages you always hear of cheating people. With all the contacts I have, he could go to work at one of several places, but he has his heart set on working for their competitor who is opening a shop across the street. Do you wonder where he inherited that spiteful trait? I don't blaim him. I felt bad for not sending customers to where he worked, but he understood. I felt bad for not warning people NOT to go there, too. Now, I can honestly tell them to stay away from there. Many people in this town have learned that the hard way. Sometimes I wonder why I moved him down here. There are NO employee rights in the south. And the "labor board", as we learned from my husband losing his job for an on the job injury, is taking tax dollars to tell employees that they simply must abide by whatever employers say. But as I told my son's former "straw boss" yesterday, hell hath no fury like a mother. My son had had no discaplinary documentations, and the only conflict was that he didn't go in to work Christmas Eve, after letting them know two weeks ahead that he wouldn't be there. Then, his boss had the nerve to tell me he had "let him go" when he ordered a part from me yesterday. That was not his place, so it made me furious! SOOO...I kind of blew my top and told him "GREAT! I've been trying for years to get him to leave that band of thieves. You did him a huge favor", along with a few other things I won't print. My headstrong blood sure pumps through that young man's veins. Now I hope he goes to work for a LEGITIMATE company, like I did after leaving Advance. I'm sure he will. Maybe he won't have to fight for honesty, like he has been. He has been unhappy there for awhile. He stepped on his straw boss's toes a couple weeks ago, when he insisted on telling the customer he only balanced 2 of his tires, as the boss tried to get him to lie, so he could charge for four. WOW! I'm glad he is finally out of ther, no matter how illegal and immoral it happened. But I really DO hate the way things are done down here. I'm glad I work for a nation wide company vs. local.
Yep! I sure have MANY things on my mind. Those who know me personally, the dragon has reared it's head again, too. SEEYA!
01-01-02
Happy New Year to all. I watched the ball drop in time square on TV tonight. Then I breathed a sigh of relief that tragedy didn't strike in that huge crowd. It was a concern on my mind after 9-11-01. Thank God my concern was unfounded. I hope everyone reading this has a wonderful year in 2002. We have all had a rough 2001. If it is God's will, better days will come now. I think our remembering that He is ultimately in charge can help that happen.
