Kasumi wandered into the Tendo Dojo and was greeted by a strange sight: Ranma, Ryoga, Ukyo, Mousse, Akane and Nabiki were sitting in a circle on the floor, and nobody was trying to kill anybody else. Perturbed by the lack of violence, she set out to discover the source of the disturbance.
"Hello. If I may ask, what are you doing?"
It was Ranma who answered.
"Oh, hi Kasumi. We got tired of training, so we decided to play Truth or Dare for a while."
Tired of training? Kasumi figured she should keep an eye on this. It also presented her with a certain opportunity...
"Hey, is--"
"May I play as well, if wouldn't be too much trouble? And lunch will be ready in twenty minutes."
"Sure," said Nabiki, a familiar predatory grin on her face. "Sit right down."
Akane noticed her sister's expression and wondered how Nabiki would make money off of this. Blackmail, she figured.
Ryoga and Ukyo moved aside to let the eldest Tendo daughter sit. She did so, with an elegance and grace seldom seen outside of Buckingham Palace, then spoke, voicing the one question that was on all their minds.
"Who will go first?"
The squabble that erupted quickly died down to a staring contest between Ranma and Mousse. Mousse stared at Ranma. Ranma stared at Mousse. And gave up as he realized the futility of it; he couldn't tell whether Mousse was blinking or not behind the Amazing-One-Way-Mirror Glasses.
Ryoga smirked. Ukyo glared at him, and the smirk quickly migrated to her face.
"Well, Mousse," said Ukyo, still smug, "looks like you're first. Let's get started."
Mousse glanced around the circle and thought. And then his gaze rested on Kasumi. His mouth twisted into a Wicked Grin, and had he had his glasses off, the others would have seen his eyes widen ever so slightly.
Of course, had his glasses been off, he would have been leering at the punching bag. Or a ray of sunshine. Or maybe he would have been leering at Kasumi anyways. We'll never know.
"Kasumi, Truth or Dare?"
"Truth, please."
Mousse's grin widened, and anyone with the observation power of a clam would have been able to comprehend his sick scheme in its hentairity. Since this was Nerima, only Nabiki caught it.
"What do you do to make it more pleasurable for yourself when you masturbate?"
Ranma and Akane were on their feet in an instant, Akane whipping out her Ultimate-Level Mallet and advancing on the offensive Chinese boy, while Ranma likewise edged closer, describing in great detail exactly how much he liked the taste of Peking Duck.
Ukyo and Ryoga just sat, stunned. Mousse had just broken the 2nd Unspoken Law of Nerima: No one attacked Kasumi. Ever. To even suggest that Kasumi might be something less than a household angel was taboo.
Mousse, seeming to realize only now the hell he had brought upon himself, reached into his sleeve, desperately fumbling for the Secret Ancient Chinese Warp Stone he kept on a chain. He let out a soft whimper as he realized he had put the Secret Ancient Chinese Soap Stone, On A Rope, there instead.
Nabiki smirked a little more and looked expectantly at her elder sister, the taste of victory in her mouth so very sweet.
"To become aware of my own sensuality, I first become fully aware of my own tactile sense."
Akane, mallet poised for the kill, shot her gaze towards Kasumi, eyes wide. Ukyo arched her eyebrows. Ranma spun in mid-leap and ended up on the floor in his former spot. Mousse uncurled from the protective ball he had made of himself.
Ryoga was unresponsive. He was still in shock from Mousse's mentioning of the "M" word.
"What?" asked Ranma, taken aback.
"In dim light, I close my eyes and remove my clothes."
A rather large thump broke the silence that followed: Ryoga, having come back to himself just in time to hear her statement, had had a massive nosebleed and passed out.
Kasumi looked around, selected her victim (Ukyo), and opened her mouth to--
"Um, wait, Kasumi," interrupted Ranma.
She turned her gaze to him, a question in her eyes.
"This is a--a special kind of Truth or Dare. Um... the first person asked, keeps on getting asked. Yeah. Right, guys?"
The (conscious) others looked at him for a second, then something seemed to click and they all began nodding their heads at once. Nabiki only smirked.
"So... who wants to go next?" continued Ranma.
Ukyo took a deep breath and blurted out her question.
"Does--Does Dr. Tofu know you do that? Doesn't it bother him?"
Kasumi gave a sweet little laugh before she answered.
"Do I lose his respect for being so wild? Hardly. He treats me like a rare and precious jewel, and he goes through the day proud of the fact that with me, he is the world's most imaginative lover."
Ukyo hit the ground in a state similar to Ryoga’s, unable to mentally place Kasumi in a sexual context.
Mousse, Akane and Ranma paid little attention to her distress, instead crowding closer to Kasumi, visions of hormones dancing through their heads. It was Ranma who spoke next.
"Um, what was the weirdest way you've ever had sex?"
Kasumi smiled in fond remembrance; Nabiki's smirk slipped somewhat.
"Men pick amazing places for sexual adventures. The wildest adventure proposed to me was in a bathtub we would fill with jello."
"And you said yes?" asked Mousse.
"All I could think was how many boxes it would take, what would be the most alluring color, the most delicious flavor? And how would that affect our oral explorations?"
Mousse's eyes widened, though no one could tell.
"If the jello got firm, would I bounce?"
Blood stained the white of Mousse's robes as he succumbed to an overflow of perverted thoughts.
"Me next!" said Akane, seemingly not noticing the growing pile of bodies behind her. "Um... Suppose I loved someone, was engaged to them, let's say," she flushed and glanced at Ranma, who had his full attention pasted on Kasumi. "When we start having sex--after we're married, of course, heh heh!--how do I keep him interested?"
Kasumi thought for a bit, then answered in a motherly tone, taking note of Nabiki's deepening frown.
"As you look around for what's new and different, remember these three important methods that should be learned to keep a man in love: imagination, sensitivity to his moods and desires, and the courage to experiment with new sexual techniques, enticing situations and places."
"Wow, Kasumi, like wh--"
"Shut up, idiot! I'm not done yet!"
"You had your turn, Akane! I wanna--"
"I said shut up!"
And, gently encouraged by the Ultimate Mallet, Ranma did.
"Um, Kasumi? What kind of words should I use to--to turn him on? I mean, how explicit can I get without it being rude?"
Nabiki scowled, sensing something disastrous was about to happen.
"Lovemaking is physical, and so is its language. Suck, cock, fuck, and prick--"
Ranma, unable to mentally place the aforementioned words into Kasumi's vocabulary, made a small noise ("urk") and collapsed to the side, bleeding on the floor.
"--are not bad words. Used in the bedroom by lovers--"
Akane's flush deepened from beet to maroon.
"--to describe parts of the body and physical activities--"
Though her youngest sister's eyes had glassed over by this point, Kasumi decided to finish the job properly.
"--they are very proper indeed, and they distinctly enhance sex."
A great gush of blood flew towards Kasumi from Akane's direction, knocking the youngest Tendo two or three feet backwards. Of course, Kasumi's Shield of Amiability caused the blood to miss her, spattering onto the wall of the dojo instead.
Nabiki began fishing in her pockets, while Kasumi eyed her expectantly. She smiled as she found 20,000 yen being pushed into her hand, and took a secret delight in Nabiki's wince as the money found its way into one of her apron pockets.
"Damn. I knew I shouldn't have given you such good odds. But who would've thought... How'd you do that anyways, Kasumi?"
Kasumi just smiled.
"Ah, well... Hey, as long as we're here, got any parting tips for me?"
Nabiki found herself pushed to the wall and held there by her surprisingly strong sister, who looked her in the eye.
"Overhaul a prudish attitude. Don't bristle and stick up your nose."
Kasumi leaned forward and whispered in Nabiki's ear, her voice husky and her breath hot and moist.
"At least, not up in the air."
Noting the trickle of blood coming from Nabiki's nose, Kasumi released her, letting her slump down to the floor. She smiled to herself and turned around, only to behold the scene of carnage the dojo had become. A little frown, the most negative expression she allowed herself (and then only in private) crossed her face briefly. Then she cheered up.
"Oh my. I had better go get some towels."
