A funny website for those who are stranded here.<br>
<br>
And you thought sarcasm was the lowest form of wit.<br>
<br>
A SITE FOR THE SURFERS WHO HAVE A WIERD STUPID SENSE OF HUMOUR...<bR>
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<br>
ppl can u SIGN my GUESTBOOK plz - SkIdMaRk.
<br>
<font face="Comic Sans Ms" size=3 
color=black>All NEW pictures..<br>
All <font face="Comic Sans Ms" size=3 
color=black>NEW jokes..<br>
All <font face="Comic Sans Ms" size=3 
color=black>NEW wierd storys...<br>
ScRoLL DoWn AnD Av A LoOk!<br>
<br>
<br>
<p align=left>
<br><br><img src="badpotato.jpg">
<font face="Comic Sans Ms" size=3 
color=black>LaSt UpDaTeD - 23/03/04
<br>
<br>
<br>
<form name="scriptform"><input name="scriptinput" size=70 style="border-width:1px solid black;font:Arial"> <input type="button" value="Random" onClick="randomdisplay()"></form>

<script> 

quotes = new Array();
quotes[0]="Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.";
quotes[1]="Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?"
quotes[2]="Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
quotes[3]="I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!"
quotes[4]="We are born naked, wet and hungry.  Then things get worse."
quotes[5]="Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand."
quotes[6]="Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!" 
quotes[7]="Did anyone see my lost carrier?"
quotes[8]="Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."
quotes[9]="I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!"
quotes[10]="He who laughs last thinks slowest!"
quotes[11]="Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."
quotes[12]="Save the whales, collect the whole set"
quotes[13]="A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries."
quotes[14]="Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."
quotes[15]="There's too much blood in my caffeine system."
quotes[16]="Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity."
quotes[17]="Hard work has a future payoff.  Laziness pays off now."
quotes[18]="Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies."
quotes[19]="I wont rise to the occaasion, but I'll slide over to it."
quotes[20]="Ever notice how fast Windows runs?  Neither did I."
quotes[21]="Double your drive space - delete Windows!"
quotes[22]="What is a free gift ? Aren't all gifts free?"
quotes[23]="If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic."
quotes[24]="Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
quotes[25]="Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy."
quotes[26]="Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."
quotes[27]="Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector."
quotes[28]="I used to have a handle on life, then it broke."
quotes[29]="Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive."
quotes[30]="I don't suffer from insanity.  I enjoy every minute of it."
quotes[31]="A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."
quotes[32]="Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot."
quotes[33]="The gene pool could use a little chlorine."
quotes[34]="When there's a will, I want to be in it."
quotes[35]="Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check?"
quotes[36]="Few women admit their age.  Few men act theirs."
quotes[37]="I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar."
quotes[38]="We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?"
quotes[39]="All generalizations are false, including this one."
quotes[40]="Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
quotes[41]="C program run.  C program crash.  C programmer quit."
quotes[42]="Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy."
quotes[43]="640K ought to be enough for anybody. - Bill Gates 81"
quotes[44]="90% of all statistics are made up"
quotes[45]="A man needs a good memory after he has lied."
quotes[46]="A little work, a little sleep, a little love and it is all over."
quotes[47]="A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience."
quotes[48]="Apple copyright 6024 b.c., Adam & Eve"
quotes[49]="Apple Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton."
quotes[50]="Bad knee, gotta run - Pat Buchanan to his draft board"
quotes[51]="Beam me aboard, Scotty..... Sure. Will a 2x10 do?"
quotes[52]="Beulah, peel me a grape."
quotes[53]="Bother, said Pooh as the brakes went out!"
quotes[54]="Build a watch in 179 easy steps - by C. Forsberg."
quotes[55]="C++ should have been called B"
quotes[56]="COINCIDENCE happens."
quotes[57]="Calvin, we will not have an anatomically correct snowman!"
quotes[58]="Careful.  We don't want to learn from this. -- Calvin"
quotes[59]="Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery."

function randomdisplay(){
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document.scriptform.scriptinput.value=randomquote
}

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</script>
</p>
<br>
<br>
<center><img src="meunionjack2.jpg"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()"><br>
<br>
<br>
<p align=left><font face="Comic Sans Ms" size=3 
color=blue>WALK OF SHAME
<br>
Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk-up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist.
<br>
<br>
<font face="arial" size=2 
color=black><img src="info1.jpg"> want to know any information on smellystuff then e-mail me at smellystuff_2004@hotmail.com, or if you have any comments or queries then sign the guestbook or e-mail me.
<br>
<br>
Want the password for the member area? E-mail me.
<br>
<br><img src="jamie.jpg"><br>
 - <A HREF="webmaster.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()">WHO IS ME?</a><br> 
My biography i fink, just general info bout me.
<br>
<br><img src="jamie.jpg"><br>
 - <A HREF="ramblings.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()">My pointless thoughts on life</a><br> 
Some thoughts on life, on love, on drugs, on.......
<br>
<br>
<br>
*WHEN YOU CLICK ON A PAGE IT SHOULD APPEAR IN THE BOX BELOW (SCROLL DOWN AND YOU SHOULD FIND THE MAIN BOX)*
<br>
<br>
</LEFT><CENTER><img src="toiletroll.gif" border=0 align=middle vspace=0 hspace=0 height="10" width="760" ALT="Toiletroll2"><bR></CENTER><LEFT><bR>
<br>
<br>
<p align="center"><font face="Verdana, Arial, Geneva, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="1"><a href="mailto:jamiefartpants@hotmail.com">E-Mail</a></font><a href="mailto:jamiefartpants@hotmail.com">&nbsp;</a><a href="mailto:jamiefartpants@hotmail.com"><img border="0" src="toilet.gif" align="middle" alt="e-mail" width="50" height="72">
 <font face="Verdana, Arial, Geneva, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="1"></font></a></p>
<table width="100%" height="26" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" border="0">
<br>
<br><img src="smallurinal.gif"><br>
 - <A HREF="memberentry.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()">MEMBER AREA (password protected)</a><img src="5star.gif"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()"><br> 
just a few pages that are only featured in the member area, e-mail me for password. Jamiefartpants@hotmail.com
<br>
<br>
<br>
<a href=http://b4.boards2go.com/boards/board.cgi?&user=smellystuff>
SmElLyStUfF's MESSAGE BOARD!</a><br>
Post a message or chat bout sumfin
<br>
<br>
<br><img src="smallurinal.gif"><br>
 - <A HREF="funnypictures.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">FUNNY PICTURES</a><img src="updated.bmp"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()"><br> 
Funny and some crap pictures.
<br> 
<br>
<br><img src="smallurinal.gif"><br>
 - <A HREF="cartoondrug.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="">Top 10 cartoon chracters most likely to use drugs</a><br>
funny!! 
<br>
<br>
<br><img src="smallurinal.gif"><br>
 - <A HREF="victoriasecret.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">10 things not to say in victorias secret</a><br>
Win a pointless award for your Slightly deranged website
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br><img src="smallurinal.gif"><br>
 - <A HREF="antimanutd.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">ANTI-MAN UTD PAGE</a><br>
<br>
<br>
<font face="Comic sans Ms" size=3 
color=red>When you click on a link (ie.Man utd jokes) it should show up in the little box below<br>
<br>
<br>
<font face="arial" size=2 
color=black><br><font face="FONT" size=3 
color=><img src="smallurinal.gif"><br>
 - <A HREF="pilot.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">bad pilot</a><br>10 signs you have a bad pilot
<br>
<br>
<br><img src="smallurinal.gif"><br>
 - <A HREF="nerd.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">You know you're a NERD if...</a><br>
<br>
<br>
<br><img src="smallurinal.gif"><br>
 - <A HREF="Murphyslaw.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">Murphys Law</a><br>
<br>
<br> 
<img src="smallurinal.gif"><br>
 - <A HREF="catdomination.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">16 Signs your cat is plotting world domination</a><br>Signs your cat is plotting world domination<br>
<br>
<br><img src="smallurinal.gif"><br>- <A HREF="breastfeed.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">Top 10 signs your son is too old to breast feed</a><br>
<br>
<br>There are some links at the bottom of the page which you should visit or check out the favourite links page.
<br>
<br>
Do you like my website? if so tell me i need to kno what to change to make it more entertaining for u
<br>
<br>
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<table border="1" bordercolor="blue" width="20%" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" align="left" valign="top"><tr><td align="center" bgcolor="orange"><font face="Tahoma" size="0" color="black"><B>ThE FuN BeGiNs.....</b></tr></td>
<tr><td><font size="0">
 - <a href="aza.html" target="> <span style=background:YELLOW>
HOME</span></a><br>
 - <a href="pictures.html" target="main">SmellyStuff Pictures</a><br>
<br>
 - <A HREF="Button game U MUST TRY THIS!.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main"> <span style=background:yellow>
Button game U MUST TRY THIS</span></a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="faves.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">Favourite Links</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="poems.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">Fart And Poo Poems</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="jokes.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">Jokes</a><br>
<br> 
- <a href="cartoondrug.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">Top 10 cartoon characters most likely to use drugs</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="fartercharter.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main"> <span style=background:YELLOW>
The FARTER chart</span></a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="funnytoons.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">Real Funny Toons</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="turds.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">try reading these it hurts your eyes! NOW</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="poolikeaman.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">Poo Like A Man</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="contact.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">Contact Me</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="insults.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">Guide To Insults</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="restroom.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">Stuff To Do In A Rest Room</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="bitsofacatsdiary.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">Bits out of a cats diary</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="redridinghood.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">The POLITICALLY-CORRECT little red riding hood</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="whyaskwhy.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">WHY ASK WHY?
</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="mymothertaughtme.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">my mother taught me...</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="jokeofthemonth.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">joke of the month</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="whatguysreallymean.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">What us guys really mean</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="condoms.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">what one would you choose</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="comics.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">comics</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="myawards.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">SMELLYSTUFFS AWARDS!</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="fredbasset.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">the loveable fred basset COOL
</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="stupid.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">creative ways to say someone is stupid
</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="doctor.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">things you never want to hear your doctor say
</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="productwarnings.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">stupid product warnings (all these are true)
</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="adogcalledsex.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">A dog called sex
</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="aparentsprayer.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">A parents prayer
</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href=".html" target="class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()"main">how to identify if your cow has mad cow disease (WICKED)
</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="10thingsforapee.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">10 places to use when you cannot find a restroom
</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="PsychiatricHotline.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">Psychiatric Hotline
</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="virus.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">virus
</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="stress.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">ways to stay stressed
</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="fire.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">10 ways to set yourself on fire (for the depressed)
<br>
 - <a href="toilet.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">10 exscuses for missing the toilet
</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="stupidif.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main"> <span style=background:yellow>
You might be stupid if...</span>
</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="traffic.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">a bunch of stuff to do in a traffic jam
</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="wedding.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">19 ways to be offensive at a wedding
</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="dirtygolf.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target="main">Things that sound dirty in golf but aren't
</a><br>
<br>
 - <a href="pickuplines.html"class="shakeimage" onMouseover="init(this);rattleimage()" onMouseout="stoprattle(this);top.focus()" onClick="top.focus()" target=">10 creative pickuplines
</a><br>
<br>
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funny things to do anywhere
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music
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