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04-24-02 > Wednesday > What the fuck is that
Bulletin
This past weekend I watched the movie ‘Mulholland Drive’ by David Lynch. I have attempted to watch his movies in the past and it always seems to be a fruitless effort. I think I know what he tries to do when he does a movie; it’s just that I never seem to get what he’s doing. In fact I usually shout ‘What the fuck?’ at the TV when one of his movies is over. Maybe this makes me plebian or stupid, but oh fucking well. I am sick of hearing good things about this guy and his fucked up movies. If you buy into his shit then you are either truly in one backwards ass place mentally or a complete fucking poser, either way fuck off and die. If you have never seen a David Lynch movie, then congrats you haven’t wasted your money on anything near as time consumingly horrible as I have. The comic is what I would imagine David Lynch would make if he had a webcomic. It has a message and it is even more clear and concise than any of that bastards work. In fact let’s make this a contest; if you are the first person to figure out the meaning of this comic I will buy you one copy of any David Lynch DVD or VHS that you want. That’s right this is no joke. Just e-mail me with your explanation of what is happening in this comic and you could win, as easy as pie. This contest will be over 4 weeks from today (midnight that Wednesday being the deadline), so you have a little time. The winner will be announced as soon as there is one, at which time the contest will be over. If there is no winner, then I will post the meaning of the comic here. All guesses must be e-mailed to me, there is no limit on amount of guesses, the winner will be notified before it is posted on the site, the state of Indiana must die see contest rules not provided, kill kill kill the white man, money is your god, and last but not least… void where prohibited..
There has been a changeThe contest will no longer end 4 weeks from now. Due to impatience, all entries must be submitted by this Thursday (May 2), midnight. If there is no winner, then I will post the correct analysis of the comic on Friday. That is all.
There was no winner
The Lynchian Analysis
This comic says the American music business is fucking the American public out of its happiness and it will continue until we are all dead. The panel by panel is as follows. The first panel is a guitar, to symbolize the music business. The base is in the vague shape of the continental United States, so that you will know I am referring to the American music business. The stem (yes, I know that’s the wrong term) of the guitar and the end are colored to look like a penis. This lets you know that the American music business is fucking something. The second panel is a hamburger to symbolize the American public. The hamburger is very plain looking to give the impression that it is bland. There are no condiments or extras on the burger so that it looks like it could be anyone’s burger. This quite basically means to encompass everyone (except of course those bastard vegetarians) into the group that is being fucked by the American music business. Moving on to the third panel, this is a flower. The type is unimportant. This flower symbolizes our happiness as Americans. The color green is exactly the same shade as the body of the guitar to continue the theme of every American. The blossom of the flower and the bend in the stem are crooked and bent to show that though we are all represented, we all are not the same. The ground is also the same color green to symbolize that this happiness is grown here and thus belongs with us. Finally the last panel tells us that in the end we will be dead. Not only will we be dead though, the American music business will gloat about fucking us. This is shown in the letters that are placed on our Tombstone that read Y.B.F., they stand for You’ve Been Fucked. The images inside of each frame get smaller as they go, to symbolize this is a future that we are all being sucked into, much like the swirl of water in a toilet. One note about this whole thing: I didn’t use the word American to be some kind of a patriot or non-patriot; I just don’t know what the music business is like in other countries.
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