<Intro Voice>
In a continuing effort to put himself into an early grave Grey is pushing himself to his, uh limits.
The term he wants me to use is "heroic limits", however there doesn't seem to be much heroic in this sort of action. It's more like a martyr complex. Grey's bordering on being the stupid this week if you ask me.
No one ever does though.
And now, somewhere in Florida . . .
<End Intro Voice>
You're not up to this, you need rest!
Sod rest. I've got thwackings to take care of.
You're got yourself to take care of.
There are bigger, more important things to take care of.
At Disney?
A hive of villainy.
Since when are you after villainy?
And stupidity, we can't forget the stupidity.
Like what?
Hang on. You there, Toady!
I have a name and I thank you to use it.
I won't. I'm here for you and your master.
What ever for?
That's what I'd like to know.
Disney. One of the most evil organisations in the world. Responsible for the horror known as Elton John's continuing career. Turning the tale of Moses into a musical. Generating insipid, movie of the week type crud like "Ice Princess" or whatever it was. And I'm pretty sure it's these fools who are behind Sesame Street's recent decision to have the Cookie Monster sing "Cookies are a Sometimes Food"! He's the Cookie Monster! He eats Cookies!
Calm down, you're going to burst something.
I'm fine.
No you're not, you're sweating like mad.
Never mind that now. You lot are responsible for it all, aren't you? Come on, admit it!
We do have some influence with Sesame Street. Not that it matters, our own innate movie and program generation units are much more efficient.
People like you make me sick!
You're making yourself sick.
I'll rest once I've taken these fools down. Look at what they're doing in the name of making money. Entertainment isn't a real factor any more, it's just an egotistical delusion.
I hardly see what business it is of yours.
It's stupid. You're not giving people enough credit. In fact what you're doing is dumbing things down, making it easier for people to not think!
That's more insidious than stupid.
But it helps cause stupidity. That's why we're here. We're going after the source.
Well thanks for warning me about this one in advance.
Do what you like to me, it won't change anything.
I know that. I'm here for the one who is truly responsible for this set of circumstances.
He wouldn't waste his time dealing with the likes of you.
Oh yes he will, I'm directly threatening him simply by being here. No one is supposed to know about the secret Florida base, everyone's supposed to just assume that there's nothing but an amusement park here.
Okay you can shut up now.
Come on, bring out the one responsible, the one who's truly behind this. No more lackeys!
Very well. Lord Mickey, grace us with your presence.
Lord Mickey?
Yes, Lord Mickey Mouse. What did you expect?
Lord?
He's one of the Ancient Dark Powers of the Universe, what other title would he use?
But Lord?
Blackbird, get over it, just accept that we're dealing with a being of immense power, the kind who used to use people as hopscotch tokens when playing games with Cthulhu.
What? That can't be right!
Oh but it is. Cthulhu and me go way back.
That voice does not sound like the voice of a dark lord!
Awah shucks. It takes a little practice but I found that having minions cowering and foundations cracking every time I spoke sort of made them run into things, slowing down the whole process and caused a lot of building related expenses. Now what can I do for you fellas?
If the Great and Powerful Lord Mickey Mouse, Scourge of Worlds, the Eternal Consuming Flame, Sire of Barney doesn't know who I am, what I do or why I'm here then we really need to take away one of those proud titles.
Gee now, I may know your every waking fear and desire, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy a nice confrontational conversation now and again.
Mickey Mouse is evil?
Not evil exactly. More like an elemental force of nature that does not heed to human ethics or desires.
Mickey Mouse is stupid. You know what kind of trash you're sending out?
Well now, what you call trash might be considered a form of enlightenment to others.
Since when does Mickey Mouse use terms like enlightenment?
Stop thinking of him as a cute cartoon character. Start thinking of him as big-eared menace.
He's Mickey Mouse!
He's evil!
I'm going to win!
The Hell you are!
I've got a surprise for you!
Bruce Campbell?
Blackbird? Grey? What are you guys doing here? Did Disney offer to put you in films as well?
What the Hell is he doing here, Mickey?
He's here because you have a weakness.
I thought I was here to act.
Bruce, you're being used. I'm pretty sure Mickey is up to no good.
Thank you for finally coming around to my side.
<THWACK>
That's the underling out of the way, now it's just you and me, Mickey.
Oh? And what about your two friends?
One sidekick, who's going to be getting out of the way very soon.
Like Hell. You're in no shape to do this on your own.
Shut up, I am so. And that guy over there is nothing to me!
Now, now, I know the truth, he's your sidekick.
Not anymore, Mouse!
That hurts. I know we didn't part on the best of terms but I've always had an eye out for you Grey. I honestly never meant to chase Kirsten Dunst away. But let's face it, who would have known that a girl liked you? Uh, let me rephrase that . . .
Don't bother.
I've always been on your side, Grey.
Oh yeah? If that's true then why are you at the side of Lord Mickey Mouse, Demon Scourge of Florida, the bigheaded bastard who tried to sell Idaho to Germans!
That was never proven. Besides, that was 1998.
Wait, I'm joining forces with someone Grey wants to Thwack? No wonder he's still angry with me.
It's still about the Kirsten Dunst thing! This is just another betrayal!
I didn't know Mickey Mouse was evil! Who could know?
That's what I'm trying to say.
How can he not? He's changed his appearance almost as many times as Michael Jackson!
You do remember how that last encounter went, don't you?
Out of the way, both of you, your ignorance in these matters is hampering me. Lord Mickey Mouse, you're an idiot. You treat people like idiots and you're not going to get away with it any more!
<BRZAK>
Owchie.
<THUD>
Grey!
What are you going to do with him?
I'm going to teach this poor, poor man the way of things.
Let him go!
Do you want to come with me?
What?
Bruce, no!
I still have some movies you can star in.
But, I, uh, Grey, what about Grey?
These movies involve Elvis.
Uh, I, uh, I'll go with you.
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
<Intro Voice>
And so Mickey Mouse runs off into the sunset, lugging Grey like a sack of potatoes, sure to - Hey! Wait a minute, he's making off with our main character!
Can he do that? What's left? The Mighty Trout and Blackbird?
Uh, is anyone looking to hire someone who can do introductory vocals? I think I might be available for auditions.
<End Intro Voice>
