<Intro Voice>
Are we safe?
You know very well what I mean, have we outrun the Great Purple Beast?
Barney! That's who!
You're sure?
Okay, fine. I still say it's all because we went in through Australia, that place just isn't healthy for us.
Well, we're having a few hiccups at the moment owing to last week's fiasco, folks. Not to worry, we're on a regularly scheduled Trouting run this week, somewhere in California . . .
<End Intro Voice>
Backstreet Boys, come out, come out wherever you are . . .
You called us?
Wait, someone wants us?
Is he cute?
Is he important?
Does he want to do a duet?
A duet?!
Traitor!
Hey, I don't know about you guys, but I want a career and if it means ditching you guys I'm all for it.
And I thought Lance trying to get himself in orbit was bad enough.
Yeah, now the knives are showing.
Shut up, Lance, we still don't trust you.
Uh, excuse me.
Yeah, you're not going into orbit without the rest of us!
I second that.
See, even the new comer, the cute, talented, going to make us all stars like never before new comer, agrees.
Actually, I just like the idea of one or more of you leaving the planet and not coming back.
As long as I'm famous I don't care.
Bastard!
Backstabber.
Okay, guys, will you shut up?
Yeah, let him talk. Then we get rich.
Richer, you moron.
Richer isn't a word!
Look will you five stop you bickering?!
Okay, okay, we're sorry, but as you can see we really need you here.
You don't really know why I'm here and what I'm doing, do you?
I assume you're a producer of some kind, probably a record producer.
He might be a movie producer, one who's seen my videos and liked them.
I don't think you playing a "more modern and self assertive Lady MacBeth" is going to get anyone's attention.
Why not? She used to be such a doormat before I got to the role.
SHUT UP!
Okay, fine.
Yeah, say you're piece, we aren't the sort of people who -
Look, you're the Backstreet Boys, I know that and I know that your popularity is waning due to the latest Boy Band Clones getting more attention.
Yeah, why is that?
I don't see why, we're the most talented.
And we've been around longer.
Shhhh, don't say that, everyone will start thinking we're old.
Man, what does it take for you to shut up?
Okay, okay, we're sorry, don't go away!
I'm not leaving I have a job to do.
Oh good.
What is that job?
And how big are our roles?
Remember, we each get our own Winnebago as dressing trailers.
And one personal assistant for each time of day.
Right. Good news, I'm here to see all of you at once.
Yippee!
Well, there goes my solo career for the moment.
Bad news is I'm not here to boost your careers.
I knew it, these four hacks are being cut!
Hey!
That isn't fair!
Wait, who's the hack?
Hang on, hang on, let me finish. I'm not here to boost your careers, I'm here for payback.
Payback?
Is that like a comeback?
Your first song was "Backstreet's Back" how can you possibly have a comeback with a song like that as your first release?
"Backstreet's Back The Remix"?
Yeah, vamp it up for modern times!
It was released six years ago. How can you vamp it up?
Shhhhh, people will know how old we are if you don't shut up.
Look, I'm Grey, this is The Mighty Trout. I am not here for the benefit of your careers I am here because my research shows that you are the boy band that started this latest splurge of boy bands presently plaguing the world.
So what's wrong with that?
He's angry because they took our place while we were still good.
No I'm not! You started this! You were the first boy band of modern times, leading to others that, when combined with the Poptart phenomenon lead to the Popstar related televisions shows were idiots off the street were put on stage, made noise and were given music contracts based upon how good they looked like some sick, twisted, planet torturing beauty contest!
He looks upset.
You think it's us?
So how does any of this make us more famous than we already are?
None of it does!
Then why are you here?
Yeah, if you're not going to help leave.
I'm here for vengeance. You are the root cause of the Boy Bands, you are the original, for that you must pay!
Oh. That sounds bad.
It is bad. For you.
Sure we can't convince you otherwise?
No, I'm here to take out the source. Though it probably won't stop the other boy bands from spreading it may at least slow things down a lot.
You can't do that.
We don't deserve this.
I can do this and you do deserve this. Now, you have a choice, either line up and make this easy, or try to run and make this fun.
No, we believe there is a third choice. A choice wherein you make this fun for us.
Uh, you do know it's really creepy when all five of you start talking as one.
We know. You don't know the half of it.
Okay, it's really creepy when all five of you talk as one and move as one.
We are one.
Oh. That explains nothing.
You cannot stop us this easily. We will stop you.
Uh huh. Right.
For we are not the first. We are not the source. We are something you should fear. We are your destruction.
Yeah, sure, whatever. Come here and say that.
We are your end. We are all that you fear.
You've got that right. Just another step closer if you don't mine.
We are your nemesis. We are your-
<THWACK>
<THWACK>
<THWACK>
<THWACK>
<THWACK>
I love it when the line up for me.
<Intro Voice>
And so Grey leaves the combined Backstreet Boys, not bothering to find out how or why they were talking as one, which you know is going to come back and haunt us all one day.
That and other misgivings aside, Grey marches off into the sunset, swinging The Mighty Trout high, sure to encounter stupidity again!
<Intro Voice>
