<Intro Voice>
And now, somewhere on Naboo . . .
<End Intro Voice>
All right, I'm here for just one person. That over paid, over stuffed, under talented, overestimated, moron known as Jar Jar Binks. Which one of you is it?
Hesa not mesa.
You're attempting to suggest that you're not Jar Jar Binks?
Yesa, I mean nosa, I mean, Isa no Jar Jar.
You're not Jar Jar?
Nosa.
Despite being the only Gungan here.
Thatsa correct.
Despite being the only half live action half computer animated being here.
Uh, yesa.
Despite being the only intelligent, no, scratch that, the only upright and talking, sort of, being here other than myself.
Uh, wasa you sayins?
You're Jar Jar Binks, admit it and get it over with.
Isa tells you, Isa no Jar Jar.
Uh huh. Right.
Say, waysa yous wanna see dis Jar Jar anyway?
I'm Grey, this is The Mighty Trout. I hit stupid people with The Mighty Trout.
So, whysa you wanna see Jar Jar den?
Because he's stupid, and like I said, I hit stupid people with The Mighty Trout.
An yousa wants Jar Jar because . . .
He's stupid.
Nos I's not!
Okay, that just proves it right there.
Huh?
I come right out and tell you my intentions to hit you with The -
Nots me, Jar Jar.
Hit you with The Mighty Trout and you still try to make me think that you're not Jar Jar even though you're the only one here other than me, you look exactly like Jar Jar, you're wearing a personalized name tag courtesy of Lucasarts and that you stand there and dumbly tell me that you're Jar Jar and still not expect me to pick up on it even though you're the one with that damn awful, horrible, stupid, moronic, make the Telly Tubbies look intellectual voice!
Huh?
You're Jar Jar and I know it!
Proves it.
I just did.
Whens?
That's it! All right you tongue-tied, over cuted, movie series ruining bastard! I'm here for you and it's time to collect!
Mesa?
Stop talking like that!
Likea wasa? Mesa only talkings likea mesa supposeda.
Shut up!
But Isa-
You've had it, you can't possibly prove that you're not Jar Jar Binks now. You've been talking so badly for so long and so unstoppable that you can't possibly be anyone else!
Sos, I'm Jar Jar, whysa you wanna hurt me?
You're annoying! What part of that don't you get?
But Isa been in da movies. Isa popular.
You went from an annoying, unnecessary, major pain in the hindquarters, major player by virtue of being highly unnecessary comic relief in the first film to highly annoying, completely moronic side-character who happens to screw up everything!
Yousa not gonna do nussin tos mesa. Ima famousa.
Infamous, more like.
Whatsa difference?
If you were famous people might not actually like what I'm about to do to you. As it is this might just increase my popularity.
But Isa most beloved character in all of de Star Wars movies.
You're the most annoying character. You're a feeble attempt to out cutify the Ewoks and they were annoying enough. At least when they beat up on the storm troopers it was fun to watch the first time. And they didn't look like they were trying out for "War On Terrorism Candid Camera"!
Uh, wasa you trying to say.
That I've had enough.
<THWACK>
AAARRRRGGGHH! My arm!
Oooh, my head, what happened?
I don't know, I think I've sprained my arm or something.
How?
I hit you with The Mighty Trout. Then something sort of twanged in my arm.
That's got to be painful. Do anything particularly strenuous with that arm?
Nothing too out of the ordinary. Although a few weeks ago I had to do this to Arnold Schwarzeneggar and I wound up tearing his arm of and hitting him with it. It was heavier than The Mighty Trout so I think that might have done it. Hey, what happened to your voice?
What about my voice?
You sound normal. I mean, you sound like a normal person who can talk and all that normally.
Hey, you're right. Oh no! Without my speech impediment I've lost my hook into the next Star Wars movie!
Ha!
This isn't funny.
No it isn't you're still conscious.
So what are you going to do about it?
Backhand with the left!
<KCAWHT>
Will you stop that, it really hurts!
You're still not out?
No I'm not. Wait, I've also lost half my face, you've knocked my face back in, loosened up my speech impediment and destroyed my chances of being in the next Star Wars movie!
Yes!
Of course, now there's nothing to stop me being in that next Brittany Spears movie.
What?
And then I can do that duet with Celine Dion.
No!
This is great!
No it isn't.
Yes it is, it's always been my dream to be the cute one in a boy band. Now thanks to you I'm no longer limited to playing alien roles and little kids shows.
But I thought you were partly computer generated, mostly in the head.
Yeah, they had to downsize my mouth, expand my ears and lessen the squint in my eyes. Other than that it's all me. Except the feet of course, those were rubber or something.
AAAAAUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!
Hey, thanks for this, without you I wouldn't be able to get a role with anyone other than George Lucas. Wow, I just thought, what if he offers me the role of Anakin in the next movie for this.
Oh my God what have I done? What have I done?!
<Intro Voice>
And so Grey falls to the ground, Mighty Trout at his side, and so is one rather limp looking arm, while Jar Jar Binks wanders off into the sunset, sure to encounter a movie career previously impossible.
To Be Continued . . .
What?
I don't care, I'm saying to be continued because there's no way in Hell Grey's going to leave it at this. I mean that's Jar Jar Binks! There's no way I'm going to let him have the singing career I deserve.
No I don't care if this was only supposed to be a one shot episode, it's not over yet. We've - er, Grey's got to stop Jar Jar Binks before he gets started!
<End Intro Voice>
