<Intro Voice>
Once again Grey is on one of this little "missions".
Not that what he normally does isn't a mission, it's just that every now and again he gets a little too personally obsessed, like the hippies, now he's at it again.
I don't know why he does it, I think we should be thankful that he at least tries to stay focused though.
And now, in an elevator . . . Oh, it's an elevator in some sort of studio. I don't know which.
<End Intro Voice>
Lady, hold that elevator! I've got you now Lucas!
What? Who are you? You look like a hippie version that Grey freak.
I'm not a hippie! I am that Grey freak. I mean, oh, never mind. I'm Grey, I'm here to Thwack you again.
Why are you dressed up like that? It looks stupid.
I'm dressed like this because people thought that calling myself Grey and dressing all in grey looked stupid.
It never occurred to you to rename yourself so that then the clothes were just something you did rather than signify who you were.
Well, uh, er, I, uh, that is . . .
Heh, heh, heh.
Shut up!
What's wrong, couldn't come up with a decent name?
This from the man who thought "Attack of the Clones" sounded good.
Hey, don't you mock me, I'm the one mocking you.
Thanks for reminding me, a little too hard to tell otherwise.
Man, I knew I should have pushed the door close button sooner!
Yeah well this is a long ride that you're not going to enjoy.
What the Hell do you want anyway? There's no more Macarena of Evil.
Thanks to me?
No. James Cameron got pissed that Spielberg couldn't bring an army to the deal so he doesn't want to collaborate with him anymore.
And you?
Hey, I'm still good friends with Steve, that being said I think someone needs something a little better than a giant glowing finger to dominate the world.
<CLANK>
What was that?
I don't know, from the looks of things the elevator has just stopped.
Well that's damned convenient, now you've got me trapped.
Me?
Yeah, I was planning on keeping you busy until the next floor then run away.
That's a lame plan.
It worked well enough last time. You didn't catch me then until I thought I was well prepared.
Yeah, well this isn't my doing.
Oh it isn't? You're not here to hit me with that fish again?
Yes I am.
Why? Like I said there's no more Macarena of Evil.
I've just seen the DVDs of the original Star Wars Trilogy.
Nice to know you're at least a fan of my work.
Not anymore. You've screwed it all up. Again!
What do you mean?
You've added even more bits to the old trilogy. Most of it doesn't matter that much, but there are parts that literally made me scream out loud.
Like what?
Redubbing all of Boba Fett's lines using Temuera Morrison. Replacing the old Anakin Skywalker's ghost with that loser who played Anakin Skywalker in Episode II.
I'm just adding some continuity between the first trilogy and the second. It was badly needed.
Only because the new movies are inconsistent with the old ones!
So now what? You're going to Thwack me while stuck in an elevator with a pregnant woman? Brilliant plan.
This was not my plan!
So all your plans go smoothly?
Well, no. Actually this one time - That doesn't matter! I didn't make the elevator stop!
Hey Grey!
What the - ?
Who is that guy poking his head through ceiling panel?
Bruce Campbell? Is that you?
Yeah, Grey.
Why are you dressed like that?
I'm your sidekick now.
What?
You have sidekicks?
Yes, but he isn't one of them.
I am so.
Since when?
Since that time you Thwacked Simon Calwell and exploded.
What does that have anything to do with you being my sidekick? And stop dressing like that!
I'm dressing as I should for a sidekick. And if you'd remember you started yelling at Intro Voice, Blackbird and everyone you could find that you were sick of sidekicks determining who you Thwack, be it Simon Calwell, Death or Rob Zombie.
I don't get it.
I think I do. Look, I didn't mean it.
You said Rob Zombie counted, I was the one who sent you after Rob Zombie, so now I'm a sidekick.
Can't I just apologise or make a retraction?
Sure. Won't change me being your sidekick, though.
Stop calling yourself that!
It won't change the truth, Grey.
What are you doing up there anyway?
I'm your sidekick, I'm helping out.
How? Oh no, I think I know how.
Yep, I'm the one who stopped the elevator, thereby preventing George Lucas from doing that running thing which seems to be so effective against you.
Bruce, you've trapped me in an elevator with George Lucas and a pregnant woman, that trite, that is stereotypical, she's going to go into labour any moment now just because she's stuck in an elevator with two rather heavily opposed people!
"Two rather heavily opposed people"?
Well, we're hardly archnemisises.
I suppose that is true. And it shows that I'm safe for the moment.
How?
Well you're not going to do this here or now.
And why not?
In case you haven't noticed we're not alone.
I don't have any sorts of performance issues thank you.
You'd hit me with a fish in a cramped elevator with a pregnant woman present? Won't she be caught in the crossfire?
Unlike you I have no history of maiming innocent bystanders. I'm talented enough to make this happen without any fallout, even in these tight conditions.
You're serious?
This has to be done. Maybe now you'll stop messing around with those movies before you do something really stupid, like breeding the jerk playing Anakin Skywalker with Natalie Portman and casting their son and daughter as Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa.
Hey, now there's an idea!
WHAT?!
I wonder how badly those two need the money.
GURK!!
I'd only have to wait about nineteen years and they'd be ready and finally Luke Skywalker would have the right family resemblance.
<THWACK>
That took long enough.
Shut up, Bruce, I'm not in the mood for this. Now get this elevator moving.
Sorry. I -
Explain later before this woman -
My water just broke.
Oh no.
Uh, I'll be leaving now.
Bruce! Bruce Campbell you get this elevator moving!
AAWWWAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!
Uh, sorry about this, but I've got to go somewhere else now.
YOU ARE NOT LEAVING ME TO GIVE BIRTH WITHOUT ASSISTANCE, TRAPPED IN AN ELEVATOR WITH AN UNCONCIOUS GEORGE LUCAS!
But, uh, it's not really my fault.
THAT WAS YOUR SIDEKICK!
Not really, you see -
YOU ARE GOING TO HELP ME!
Okay.
Can you get the elevator moving?
No.
Have you ever delivered a baby before?
Yes. Uh, human, animal or both?
Human!
Oh yes.
How many?
Including this one?
Yes!
Five. Assisted. Including this one that'll be two without assistance.
Great.
<Intro Voice>
And so Grey helps - YYYEEEAAARRGGHHH!!
Oh man! I think I have a new respect for women.
Well, uh, oh dear. I think we'll leave it there.
Uh, Grey seems to be rather in control of it, uh, no need for us to hang around.
<End Intro Voice>
