<Intro Voice>
Once more we watch Grey, under the watchful eye of Blackbird, march into the lands of the stupid . . .
Actually, are there any lands not totally populated with the stupid?
I mean, let's be honest here, Grey has literally been all over the world, there is no nation he will not go into.
There are plenty of homes, mostly those with some sort of mob connection, that Grey won't enter, however he isn't really stopped by national borders.
So what does this say about our world?
Anyway, now, somewhere in Seattle . . .
<End Intro Voice>
Excuse me, are you Courtney Love?
That's my line Blackbird, besides, who else could she be?
I'm just doing things the right way.
I don't need you to tell me how things are done. I'm better now.
Whaddayawant?
Yikes!
You're better, huh?
That was a natural reaction.
A natural overreaction, sure.
You take a look at her.
Fine I -Yikes.
Ha!
What are you two bozos going on about? What do you want? Forget that. Go the Hell away.
Can't. You're Courtney Love.
I ain't givin' you no autographs! I'm not feeling well this morning.
It's four in the afternoon.
Then I'm not feeling well this afternoon. You stupid son of a f-
Watch the language!
What?
I have sensitive ears.
Who the <BEEP> are you? And why the <BEEP> are you<BEEP> me around?
I may never recover from this episode.
You're Courtney Love, hack musician - no, make that hack musician wannabe, who does nothing but milk her dead husband's fame and talent to compensate for her own lack.
What? That's <BEEP> <BEEP>
What makes you say that?
It's the <BEEP> truth, that's what! I'm a talented rock star and actress all on my own merits! Kurt himself wanted to retire from Nirvana and join Hole before he passed away!
Only because he wanted to step down from a successful, popular band and join something that could probably only be described as a hobby gone wrong.
Hey, stop <BEEP> off my band, it's a great band with many hits behind it. Right <BEEP> timeless classics they are too.
Like what?
Well, uh, there's, uh, well, I guess, err . . .
Exactly.
There's our brilliant cover of "You Know You're Right".
You didn't cover that, you just held back on releasing it to milk more money out of the remainder of Nirvana and gather more attention for your own pathetic attempts at stardom.
My attempts at stardom are not pathetic! I was in a <BEEP> movie with Kevin Bacon!
Exactly.
I'm doing what makes me happy, what right do you have to stop me?
What's making you happy is making other people miserable. You're milking the memory of Kurt Cobain more thoroughly than Dave Grohl is.
Why don't you go bother him then?
Been there.
Thwacked that.
I have every right to look after my dead husband's interests, especially for the sake of my children.
If you weren't rich and famous your children would have been taken from you long ago.
Haven't they already been taken at some point?
Never you mind! I'm doing exactly as Kurt would want me to do!
Be an absolute bitch?
With Kurt Cobain who knows.
Kurt <BEEP> loved me!
That's probably true.
Sometimes there is no accounting for taste.
I loved my husband, and it has taken me a long <BEEP> time to move on.
Right.
Actually, you're kind of cute.
What?
So what are you really here for?
Hey Grey, look, a female thinks you're attractive.
That is not female.
But it's a good sign, it shows that girls can find you attractive!
No, that thing finds me attractive, not necessarily in a good way. For all I know she sees me as something to latch on to and drain life force from.
You make her sound like a succubus.
You also make it sound like I had <BEEP> something to do with my husband's <BEEP> death.
No, that would give you credit for greater intelligence than you've ever displayed, I'm quite sure you didn't kill Kurt Cobain. You're just not competent enough.
Thank you. Maybe you do like me.
And maybe I'd like to hack of certain vital elements of my anatomy with a rusty, blunt razor blade.
You're quite the sweet talker, aren't you?
Blackbird, help me, you're supposed to be here to keep me out of trouble.
I'm just here to stop you senselessly beating up on people, it looks like you might get a date out of this.
With that thing?
Come on she's not that - YEEEAARRGGHH!!
Oh now you see her true face.
Dear crap what was that?
I'm sorry did my make up slip for a moment?
Something like that, yeah.
More like that thing you hide your face behind slipped!
So, how about a date?
I thought you were a lesbian.
Sometimes. A girl can be anything she wants.
Can a dried up skank be something else somewhere far, far away?
Please?
I don't know what you're complaining about. I'm a good-looking girl, got my own band. I'm also rich and famous.
Only by dint of who you married. And to be honest I don't feel like going out with Anna Nichol Smith either.
If it makes you feel any better, Grey, Courtney here is probably less scary than Anna.
That's not better!
What's wrong? I'm Courtney Love, the world's most <BEEP> beloved and respected <BEEP> widow.
Since when?
Since always. Who else is there?
Holy crap I think she's right!
No way.
Come here and give me a kiss
Who's idea was it to do this?
I don't know, it wasn't me!
Do you still have that chainsaw from last week?
She's not a zombie, Grey!
You're sure?
Zombies are rotting, shambling corpses with a fixation on brains!
You're right, she couldn't possibly have anything to do with brains of any sort.
What? What's so wrong about me?
Like I said, you're a selfish, egotistical skank who's only notoriety is her talented and dead husband.
I am not. So how would you like to be in a music video? I'm pretty sure I could organise you being in one, we're about due to get that popular again.
Well, you can't say your social life is completely dead. Maybe undead . . .
I wish I had the chainsaw.
<THWACK>
<Intro Voice>
And so Grey flees off into the sunset at an incredible pace, Mighty Trout held high and Blackbird struggling to keep up.
Who knows where in the world Grey will turn up next.
Come to think of it who know's where in the world Bruce Campbell will turn up next, we had a mention of zombies and no Bruce. Strange.
<End Intro Voice>
