<Intro Voice>
Day off. No Thwacking planned.
Gone Fishing.
- Signed Intro Voice.
<End Intro Voice>
So here we have it, the brand spanking new Trout Cave, headquarters for The Mighty Trout and me. What do you think, Blackbird?
Well, as far as caves go, I, uh, well, I guess I'd have to say that this one sucks.
What?!
Grey, this has to be one of the worst caves I've ever seen. And yes I have seen caves before.
What's wrong with this one?
Well, first of all there's the name.
Trout Cave?
Yes, it gives the impression that there's some sort of fish related spawning going on here and that raises too many obscene questions. Actually, with you involved I should say that it raises too many more obscene questions.
Hey!
Secondly there's the fact that this isn't a real cave.
It's a hole in the ground, a cavern of rock inside the depths of the Earth, if that isn't a cave what is?
A real cave is manufactured by natural erosion of the planet's crust. You just dug this one.
So?
So it's a hole in the ground but it is in no way a cave.
Look, are you going to stand there and pick at this all day or are you going to help me move in? Besides, I would have thought you'd be happier. After all, I'm not sticking stuff in your closet anymore.
Grey, you dug this by going through the floor of my closet.
It's an improvement over using your closet though.
No it isn't! My room is one floor up. You dug into and through my kitchen!
Whose kitchen?
Okay, my parent's kitchen.
That's right, so it isn't really your kitchen.
Yeah, but -
But nothing. The fact that it isn't your kitchen instantly lessens the amount of indignation you are allowed to muster.
I'm pretty sure that isn't how it works.
Well not nearly sure enough. So where do you think I should put the desk?
How about right on top of your head?
What the -?
Bill Gates?!
That's right, Grey, I, Bill Gates! MultiTrillionaire technology genius, and your arch nemesis!
Actually, to be fair I think attractive single girls are Grey's arch nemesis.
Hey.
True, even I can get a date.
Hey!
Yeah, Grey can't even ask for the time of day.
Look, are you two just going to stand there all day making jokes at my expense?
Of course, this is great fun!
Yeah - No! For I have plans. I have grand plans to destroy you, Grey.
Me, why?
Because you hit me with a fish!
So? I mean that's hardly unique these days.
Maybe he hit other people with a fish, I don't care. The point is he hit me with a fish!
Look, this whole thing with The Mighty Trout isn't supposed to be this personal.
Yes it is.
I know that Grey, but I'm trying to talk him down here.
Why?
Because this is Bill Gates, the guy with enough money and resources at his command to make our lives miserable.
You know, I thought that you were just an innocent bystander until you started trying to defend Grey.
Son of a -
Look Gates, I had my reasons for Thwacking you, I have reasons for Thwacking everyone, why are you taking it so personally?
Because I'm rich, I'm powerful, I'm better than everyone and shouldn't just be Thwacked like a common George W. Bush or Justin Timberlake.
Doesn't the fact that you were Thwacked just like everyone else make that little illusion nothing but a lie?
Yes! Yes it does!
Oh, I think I get it now.
So do I. How is hurting me going to change things?
I'm not going to just hurt you, I'm going to humiliate you as much as you humiliated me!
This should be fun to watch.
Then I'm going to grind up you, your Trout -
Mighty Trout.
-And your little sidekick -
I knew I should have stayed in bed.
-Into little pieces and scatter them over the nearest sewage treatment plant!
That's it?
Grey, don't get me wrong, I think your strong sense of humour is one of your defining characteristics, but this is not the time to joke with the mad man.
I am not a mad man, I'm just someone dealing with his pain.
Oh, so sorry.
Don't worry, I'll make it up to me when I grind you up.
Awah, man.
Can we get to the point here?
Hey, I can gloat and taunt as much as I want, it's all a part of the vengeance process.
You're not doing a good job of it.
Listen here, this is my vengeance and I'll do it as I please.
You see this is why I Thwacked you. You're so incompetent that you can't even take revenge upon someone properly.
I can so!
No you can't this is taking far too long and aside from having to deal with your endless chattering there isn't anything happening to cause any of us terrible pain.
Great move Grey, give him ideas, that'll help.
Come on, it's Bill Gates, just how dangerous do you think he can be?
Just how dangerous do you think I can be? I'll show you how dangerous I can be! Why, by the time I'm done here I'll have a reputation for being rich, ruthless, powerful, wise, knowing, cunning and dangerous! I'll be so well known for the depth and imagination I show in executing revenge that there will finally be books written about me that people will find interesting! Why, once I've hung your tattered, still warm remains from the highest, er, well, uh, public hanging thingy everyone, the world over, far and wide will know that I, Bill Gates am fully capable of executing -
<THWACK>
Thank you! Though it did take you a while, didn't it?
I had to wait for my opening. And like I said, it's not like you really had anything to worry about, is it. I knew he would make a crucial error. This time it was a longwinded gloat.
Great.
Never let it be said that I'm not brilliant.
I'll never let it be said that you are brilliant.
Hey!
Look, what are we going to do with him now?
I don't know, leave him here I suppose.
So we're just going to leave him lying in the entrance of your new Trout Cave?
Actually we're going to leave him lying in the entrance of what might have been my new Trout Cave. I can't stay here, not if Bill Gates already knows where it is.
Why not?
A secret hideout that everyone can find is a bit pointless, you know.
Fine, fine. So what do we do now?
Fill it all in I suppose.
Wait, so first you smash a hole in my closet, my kitchen -
Ahem.
-My parents' kitchen, and out basement and now you're saying that it's all for nothing and you're going to fill it all back in again?
Pretty much.
Why do I even bother?
<Intro Voice>
Day off. No Thwacking planned.
Gone Fishing.
- Signed Intro Voice.
<End Intro Voice>
