<Intro Voice>
T'was about a few days before Christmas, and all through the world
Many creatures were stirring, and many of them dumb . . .
What the -?
This doesn't make sense!
Okay, it makes sense, but it sounds wrong.
Yes I know it fits our mandate, but it doesn't rhyme!
You cannot attempt to rip of "The Night Before Christmas" without at least making a moderate attempt at rhyme.
No, one rhyme, "Trout" and "flout", however witty and original, does not count.
Now, somewhere within several hundred kilometres of the North Pole . . .
<End Intro Voice>
You there!
Who, me?
Yeah you.
What do you want?
A chunk of your oily hide!
What? Hey!
<THUMP>
Hey, get off me!
<WHACK>
Ow, stop that!
<CRACK>
What are you doing?
<CRUNK>
<SMACK>
<THUD>
<CRUNCH>
Stop! STOP! What are you doing?
I would have thought that was obvious!
<BANG>
<BAM>
<WHOCK>
STOP! Why are you hitting me?!
I'm not hitting you, I'm beating the life out of you, you Grinch Bastard!
Grinch what? What's that about a Grinch?
Don't try and play dumb with me!
I'm not playing dumb, I'm Jim Carey!
Same difference!
<ZWOT>
<CLUNK>
<POW>
Grey, what are you doing?!
Why do people keep asking me that? Is it not at all obvious what I'm doing?
It looks like you're beating up Jim Carey.
Close, but not quiet there, Blackbird.
What are you doing then?
I'm doing the Christmas thing.
Maybe I'm not up on Christmas tradition, but I'm pretty sure that enacting grievous bodily harm upon an actor is hardly the Yuletide thing to do.
I have to beat the Grinch senseless.
Why?
Because if I don't he'll try to ruin Christmas. We've gotten luck so far, but sooner or later he'll succeed, and then Christmas is done for!
That makes sense, sort of. But why beat him with your bare hands and booted feet? The Mighty Trout is your signature weapon.
After what happened last time The Mighty Trout had to take a week or so off. I mean come on, having Michael Jackson's face is a fairly traumatic event. And besides, this is the Grinch, the enemy of all that is Christmas. Just Thwacking him and leaving him to get up again just seems wrong.
But Grey, this isn't the Grinch.
What do you mean this isn't the Grinch? Who else could it be?
It's Jim Carey.
Jim Carey?
Yes.
But what about the green face?
That was when he was acting in "The Mask".
Ah hah! No! I know that was a movie staring Jim Carey, but how do you explain all the green fur?
Grey, that was another movie.
So?
Jim Carey's played the Grinch in the movies, he's not doing that at the moment.
So?
So where is all of the green fur now?
Oh. How do we know this isn't just some cheap disguise and that underneath all this pale, pasty stuff is his real green skin and fur?
He's an actor Grey that was make up, this is his real face.
How can you be sure?
Well, uh, I just can.
So in order to prove me right and you wrong all we have to do is tear off this pathetic mask and -
No, Grey, wait!
<SSKKKKKEEERRRRREEEEEEKKKKKKTTTT>
WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Uh oh.
Eweh.
AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!
You know Grey, this sort of thing is becoming a bad habit with you.
Hey, I didn't know that Jim Carey's face was actually Jim Carey's face, okay.
Sure Grey.
And how was I supposed to know that Michael Jackson's face was as permanent as . . . well . . . Michael Jackson's face?
Ah huh.
AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!
Look, will you just shut up already? What have you got to be screaming about anyway? Oh yeah, that's right. Uh, hey, look, I know that this doesn't exactly make up for tearing your face off, but I can offer to give you back not just your own face, but Michael Jackson's face as a spare.
WWAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!
Yeah, I suppose that isn't much of a deal really. Not even Michael Jackson want's Michael Jackson's face.
So now what?
AAARRRRRRHHHHHHH!!!
I suggest we resolve this in the best of Grey and The Mighty Trout traditions.
And that is?
Run away!
<Intro Voice>
And so Grey runs off like a thief in the night, with Blackbird in close pursuit, waving the - Hey! That's Jim Carey's face! He's still got Jim Carey's face! That is wrong, that is just so wrong!
No, this is it, this can't be good. Awah man, I can't go on.
No, I've had enough of this, I don't want anything more to do with this episode.
If anyone wants me I'll be washing my mind out with ammonia.
<End Intro Voice>
