<Intro Voice>
It's a quiet time this week as Grey begins moving into a new headquarters with the help of his one and a half sidekicks.
Yes one and a half. Grey doesn't think Bruce Campbell's a sidekick now, but you've all seen him, he looks different and he's got a valid point. Grey pretty much called him a sidekick during a hissy fit, and now he's got to live with that.
Anyway, all three of them are trying to make the new cave liveable. Don't ask me why it's a cave, all I know is that the rent is reasonable and the views are pretty good.
And now, in an undisclosed location soon to be known as The Troutcave . . .
<End Intro Voice>
Bruce Campbell is not my sidekick!!
Give it up Grey.
No, he is not my sidekick.
Hey, I had better things to do today than help you move into this place, I'd like a little appreciation.
I'm sorry, Bruce. Thanks for helping me move in.
Thank you, Grey.
That doesn't mean you're a sidekick.
Will you stop going on about this? Come on Grey, think of all he's done for you?
Set me up to go after Rob Zombie for no real good reason, interrupted a handful of Thwackings in an attempt to become famous for being Thwacked and trapping me in an elevator with a pregnant woman with no sense of humour?
Yeah. Those.
Where should I put all this stuff anyway?
Just pile them up against the walls. There's nothing breakable in any of these boxes and it's going to take me a while to sort them all out.
So how long have you got this place for, anyway?
It's an open lease, there isn't much call for secret caves this small, and most people think a huge cavern is a good idea. Trying to go for impressive rather than functionality.
Fools, you'll show them all?
Pretty much.
In the meantime what are you going to do about furniture? I mean you're not going to leave this place like this, are you?
I don't need much, this isn't going to be a base of operations as much it is a storehouse for bits and pieces of info and a place to touch base every now and again. I'm too busy running around to need a place too much. Still, I'm going to want a few posters, maybe some curtains . . .
Well, you'll be touching this base for a long time once I'm through with you!
Bill Gates?
Oh no. How did you find this Troutcave?
Don't look at me, I didn't tell anyone anything.
Hey, I do look like the kind of guy who's going to admit that he's knows where a secret hideout is? I'm still keeping locations secret from when I was eight.
Never mind how I found out where this place was, the point is I'm here and I'm not alone this time.
Dat is right!
Oh hell, it's Arnold Schwartsennegger.
The Governator? What's he doing here?
I'm in league vit Gates to git you, Grey.
You Thwacked the Governator?
Yeah.
Why?
Why not?
Because he's doing a reasonably good job, that's why.
This was before he was elected. Besides, "The Governator"? I still think that's a bad idea waiting to explode on us.
Come on, it's not like he's been that bad.
He was at the time. Besides which he still hasn't given up on the big screen even though he's in office. It's not quite corrupt, but it is free publicity. I still say he deserved it, at the time if nothing else.
Okay, fine.
No! Nod fine!
That's right Grey, we're here for vengeance and nothing you or your sidekicks -
He's not a sidekick.
Do you have to bring that up with everyone?
You're not a sidekick. I don't care what's changed, I don't care what you do, you are not my sidekick.
Do you two want to be alone?
Don't you start that Gates!
Yah, ve haf a job to do.
That's right, time for your just desserts, Grey.
No, wait, I still don't get why Arnie's here. Gates I understand, he's always getting Thwacked for something, but the Governator? Doesn't he have better things to do? I mean even Donald Rumsfield hasn't turned up with a Special Forces Team over this. Grey's just not worth it.
Hey!
I'm here because dis tvirp has my arm!
No I don't.
You do so.
Correct me if I'm wrong but you seem to have both of your arms.
Dis is a replacement arm, I vant my original back.
His warrenty is void without it.
The Governator is a Terminator?
Turns out that way. Not easy to Thwack.
Impossible to Thvack, dat's vy you tore off my arm and hit me vit dat. And you didn't gif me my arm back when you ver vanished!
Prove it.
My arm's right dere behind you!
Where?
I think he means in your trophy case.
That? That's just Michael Jackson's face, it has very little in common with a Terminator arm.
Beside that.
Jim Carrey's face.
Stop vit der stalling!
Okay, so I have your arm. So what?
I vant id back.
And to do so you were willing to team up with Billy Gates. Nice one.
Actually, that's a good point. You're the Governor of California, surely you have the resources and contacts to team up with someone better?
Gates came do me vit der deal.
So you waited until Bill Gates came along and said that now was a good time to grab your arm back?
Yes.
I'm beginning to see why you Thwacked this guy.
Thanks ever so much for your approval. Okay, Gatesy, what's your scheme this time? Have the Governator - I'm not calling him that again if I can help it - pummel me while you stand around and gloat?
No, this is my scheme, I get the glory!
That sounds, . . . Not worrying, more, . . . disturbing?
Yeah, I'm beginning to wonder if Gates is really married. A lot of this could be solved if he dated more.
A bit like you, Grey?
Hey! Wait, no, that was a fair shot. Anyway, what's the plan, Gatesy?
My good friend, the Governor will pin you in place while I activate my latest invention!
That's it?
It lacks a little effort.
I doled him dat. Vould he lisden? Noooo, he jus wans me do pin you in place.
Don't you feel demeaned by this at all?
Yes, bud I vill ged my arm back.
Gates, where did you get the idea of teaming up with Arnold and activating a device from?
The Macarena of Evil.
What?
Well, you had a lot of trouble with them, right? Because they teamed up, right?
No, actually in the end the team thing was pretty self-sabotaging.
Oh. Well. Get him!
Yikes!
I god him!
Right, now Grey will receive the fate he richly deserves!
<CLICK>
What the - ?
Vad is dat?
I don't believe this.
I do. This is Bill Gates after all.
This isn't fair!
Come on, Gatesy, it's not like this hasn't happened to you before.
Ooooooh! The accursed Blue Screen of Death! As arch a nemesis as Grey!
And your hairstylist?
And my hairstylist!
I didn't sign up vor dis.
What did you expect? Bill Gates hasn't launched a successful scheme yet that someone else didn't think up, execute and manage.
Nexd dime I dink I'll jus send a stern letter.
No, wait, I can get this to work, I can get this to work!
Gatesy, you're a heartless businessman who masquerades as a computer nerd, you couldn't get a popcorn maker working.
That's right, Grey, taunt the guy with the brilliant device of Doom!
Uh, Gates, we're not seeing anything at the moment.
Oh yeah, what about now!
Ooooooohhhhh.
Wow.
Oh boy.
Vas dis pard of der scheme?
Uh, not really. I think I turned it into a web browser. Which is odd since it's not supposed to be hooked up to anything except this remote control.
If it helps I appreciate your efforts, Gates.
Dat's it, I'm leafing!
No, Arnie, wait! I need your help!
You need help, bud nod mine.
Who's then?
Professional.
He's right, professional thugs, that's the key to success! Just you wait, Grey, for I shall return and -
<THWACK>
So now what? We pack up and move all this stuff back into Blackbird's place because this location isn't as secret as it used to be?
Hell no! We're not moving this junk back into my home.
I agree with Blackbird, though for different reasons. The biggest being that I've already put down a deposit on this place. Come on, let's get back to unpacking.
<Intro Voice>
And so Grey, Blackbird and Bruce Campbell go back to unpacking boxes!
That's it.
What do you want? This is the new Troutcave, what more is there?
Gates is still unconscious in the corner. That's a matter for spring-cleaning though.
<End Intro Voice>
