<Intro Voice>
When last we left Grey and Blackbird they were on their way into the secret United States bunker where Jar Jar Binks was being hidden to Thwack him once and for all.
About time, really.
No, I mean it, this has gone on for far too long if you ask me.
It is so true. I can tell you where it went wrong too.
"Do I like my job"? What's that supposed to mean?
<End Intro Voice>
I can't believe that the United States Government has been keeping Jar Jar Binks as a weapon of mass destruction.
Believe it.
How could anyone be this stupid?
Well, you can put it down to the increased paranoia after 9/11, maybe the questionable methods of big government. It could be George Lucas milking Star Wars for every piece of profit he can. Then again it could just be Jar Jar whoring himself out to the highest bidder.
Then everything he said about that music career, the acting, the duets and boy bands was all just a diversion?
No, I can do all those and still be paid by the US taxpayer.
YOU INHUMAN MONSTER.
Well duh, I'm a Gungan. Not human. Or weren't the ears and eyes enough of a hint?
You know what I mean!
Calm down Blackbird.
Calm down? Why?
Because if you don't that funny vein in you head will burst.
Hey!
Yeah, hey. I'm the only one who can who can mock my sidekick.
Yeah. Wait, hey!
Yeah, hey. You can't tell me who I can and can't mock!
He's my sidekick, so yes I can.
No you can't.
Why does anyone have to mock me?
It's not like it can be avoided.
Don't worry, though, I'll make sure that you're not mocked by anyone but me!
Oh great.
Fine, if I can't mock him I'll mock you!
What!
That sort of makes sense. No, wait, the longer this drags on the longer we delay Jar Jar Binks' just deserts!
Then get to it!
No, wait-!
<thWARnnnk>
What the hell was that?
What do you mean? I just Thwacked him!
That wasn't a proper Thwacking, that was terrible.
Well excuse me. It's not like you gave me a lot of training on the matter. There was no
"Here, Blackbird, my most trusted ally and sidekick, I need you to wield The Mighty Trout for I can trust no other."
I sound nothing like that!
Ooooooooh, my head.
You sound everything like that. Did I hear
"This is how to use the Mighty Trout"?
Noooo. Did I hear
"Here, Blackbird, greatest friend, finest ally, the only one I can trust to do the job I completely screwed up by letting Jar Jar Binks escape to infest the world. I'll give you a hand by teaching you how to properly handle The Mighty Trout"?
Not at all. What did I get? I got
"Blackbird, I've messed up and you're going to help me now because I'm completely incompetent."
I said nothing of the sort!
You should have.
That's it, I'm going to get you two as soon as I've figured out what's happened to my nose.
Your nose, don't you mean your entire face?
Yikes, that is not a good look.
What, what's happened to my face?!
You're back to looking like Jar Jar Binks!!
What?! Oh no! How could you do this to me? There goes my acting career, but I still have a music career.
Looking like that?
My voice is fine.
Yeah, but the modern music business is based upon looks, not musical skill or talent.
Damn you both!
Great one, Blackbird.
Hey, at least I just undid your screw up, so that mean's I've done better than you could.
You still don't do it right.
I'll tear you apart for this!
How, you're a Gungan.
I've had a manicure.
Uh oh.
Get him again! And do it right this time!
Do it right this time, he says.
Yeah, aim a little higher, swing from the shoulders, keep your feet apart and don't make that face.
What face?
I think he means this sort of face.
Urgh!
<THwwiimmMMPP>
That was supposed to be better?
Give me a break.
Yousa still nots stops mesa! Hey, wasa happens?
Oh no. You've given Jar Jar his voice back.
Or taken it away. Let's face it, we either have him singing or we have him sounding like Pee Wee Herman overdosed on Ritalin. There are not positives here - Ack!
Mesa throttle the lifes outta yousa!
Urk!
Hey!
Gurg!
Stop that!
Blurgle!
Now!
Snerk!
Ha! Yousa useless! Yousa no stoppa mesa! Noonebodys stopsa mesa!
I have to do everything around here. Blackbird, throw me The Mighty Trout!
<thud>
Still can't get it right.
Gak! Urk! Snerk!
Sure, sure, fine, fine. Time to do this the right way. Jar Jar Binks!
Whatsa - Oh. Yousa should still besa restin dat arm.
Rest nothing. Jar Jar, most annoying movie character since, Toto, . . .
Uh, mesa be goods.
. . . Nearly boy band member, . . .
Ha! Isa gots da lightsabre. Georgie Lucas says Isa be needen dis, and hesa right!
<CRUNK&t
Ooooh, stupid, cheap ass Lucas!
. . . Weilder of an inferior weapon, . . .
Lookeyday! Mesa put yousa friend down!
. . . Weapon of mass destruction, . . .
Hey, wesa alls dos things for moneys.
. . . Time for you to get yours.
Uh oh.
<THWACK>
Now that is how it's supposed to be done.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just see if I ever do anything for you again.
<Intro Voice>
And so Grey and Blackbird march off into the sunset - Yes, I know they're in a bunker, don't ask me how they do it, I just call them as I see them - Mighty Trout finally in the right hands, Jar Jar Binks finally reduced to a drooling heap that doesn't attempt to speak, sure to encounter stupidity again!
<End Intro Voice>
