<Intro Voice>
Well where are we?
Again Grey and Blackbird failed completely utterly and miserably to find and Thwack into finality Jar Jar Binks.
They find stupid people easily enough, find them by the bushel. But no Jar Jar Binks.
Why? I don't know. What I do know is that if this goes on much longer Grey's had it. I for one would beat the tar out of him for letting it go on this long.
Oh, and now, back in America . . .
<End Intro Voice>
I told you so.
Shut up.
We're back here again.
Shut up.
Just like I said we would.
Shut up.
Because there aren't a lot of other places he could be.
Shut up.
Especially if he wants that music career.
Shut up.
I mean, from here he can just join one of those "Who wants to be a popstar/complete and utter loser on television" shows and that's it, goodbye to everything.
Shut up.
Not until you admit that I was right and that round trip to France was just a waste of time so you wouldn't have to deal with the fact that Melissa Joan Hart rejected you.
I admit . . .
Yes?
. . . Nothing.
I hate you.
I don't see you leaving anytime soon.
That's because I don't think you'll get Jar Jar without me. Wait! Isn't that him?! You! Stop!
Me?
Yeah, you! Grey, isn't this Jar Jar Binks?
No.
How can you be sure?
Look, Blackbird, I know. This is Donald Rumsfeld. He's a pretty close match for Jar Jar Binks, but not 100 percent.
What are you two talking about?
Just a minute. Uh, Donald Rumsfeld?
Yes. Why?
See.
That doesn't prove anything.
If it were Jar Jar Binks there'd be this five minute long bit where he acts all cute and stupid and says yes, then no, then he doesn't know. This is just Donald Rumsfeld.
Uh, I don't like being referred to as "just" anything.
Yeah, well, it's not like it's your choice.
Well how the hell are we supposed to find Jar Jar Binks anyway?
Donald Rumsfield, have you seen Jar Jar Binks lately?
Oh, brilliant.
Do you have any better ideas?
Yes.
What?
I don't know.
The why'd you say yes for?
I did.
So what's the point?
What's the point of what?
Didn't you say that you had a better idea?
No.
I did.
Then what is it?
I don't have a better idea.
Then who did?
I did.
Donald Rumsfeld?
Yes.
Hang on, what have you been saying, from the beginning.
I have seen Jar Jar Binks lately.
And you said it was a stupid question.
Shut up.
Where and when did you see Jar Jar Binks?
In the secret underground bunker where we're developing our weapons of final solution for the War on Terror.
What?
There's a secret underground bunker and you've just told us.
Yes. Oh. Damn. Does this mean I don't get to be president?
I hope so.
Okay, fine, so the United States Government has Jar Jar Binks and is planning to use him as a weapon.
I'm beginning to miss the good old days when the Russians were always the bad guys. Nowadays everyone's a bad guy.
Never mind about that now we've got to stop Jar Jar Binks!
You'll never find out where he is.
Where's the entrance to the secret underground bunker, Donald Rumsfeld?
Oh good grief!
There behind me. It's the door marked "secret underground bunker entrance".
Don't say a word Grey.
I won't. I'll just stand here and look smug.
Jar Jar's on the third level down with menswear and eight volumes of Richard Nixon's enemies list.
Okay, we're of to thwack the Gungan. The moronic Gungan of Star Wars!
Wait! You can't do that!
Why not?
I'll get into trouble.
Well, what are you going to do to stop us?
I'll, uh, I'll use a combination of highly distracting and yet simplistic hand gestures!
Okay. You do see that it's not working at all?
Just you wait, it'll get to you soon.
Right. Come on Blackbird, let's go.
Wait, we're just going to leave Donald Rumsfeld here?
Do you think he deserves to be thwacked?
I don't.
\Your opinion doesn't count this time. See. We can't let this guy get away with nothing. Besides, he's been hiding Binks on us.
True. Fine. Donald Rumsfeld, guy whose helped cover up the location of Jar Jar Binks, you're getting just what you deserve.
Extra pudding?
Yeah, right. Pudding.
<THWUNK>
<Intro Voice>
And so Grey and Blackbird enter through the door, climb into the elevator and are on their way to take care of Jar Jar Binks once and for all!
And about time too. Let's just hope Blackbird's up to this. These half-assed thwackings are getting on my nerves.
<End Intro Voice>
