<Intro Voice>
When last we left our feeble excuses for intrepid heroes Grey had been stolen by Mickey Mouse, Bruce Campbell was working for Mickey Mouse, Blackbird was standing around with his mouth opening and closing, doing a fairly good impression of The Mighty Trout minus the ability to do anything worthwhile and The Mighty Trout was patiently waiting for someone competent.
Doomed. That's all I can say, doomed.
And now, bickering in Florida . . .
<End Intro Voice>
This is all your fault!
Me, what did I have to do with anything? And why are you following me like this?
Because it's your fault!
Look, we all know what Grey is like, pushy, bossy, stubborn. He chose to face off against Mickey Mouse. The results would not have changed if I hadn't been there.
Mickey Mouse hired you to specifically act against Grey!
I didn't! Besides, I thought that I was being hired to act in a movie.
Why?
Because I - Hey! I'm an actor, remember?
You didn't know Mickey Mouse was a force of elemental evil?
Did you?
Well, uh, no, uh, but that's not the point! I was there for Grey and his wellbeing, you've sabotaged that by letting him get kidnapped by Mickey Mouse.
You don't think Grey can't get out of this on his own?
He's been driving himself too hard lately, pushing himself beyond his natural endurance. He was in no shape to take on Mickey Mouse, and that's without knowing his full powers.
Which Grey did.
Stupid fool. I've been telling him to slow down. Still, there was a chance that if you weren't there to distract him we could have at least gotten away.
That's crazy talk. I've been doing some research on Mickey, he could have followed Grey anywhere. Not that Grey roams much these days.
Like I said, tired, exhausted. Wait, how do you know that Grey's been limiting his travels?
I've been keeping tabs on him. Following him every now and then.
You keep up with Grey? How? I've been trying to do the same thing and it's murdering me on the airfares.
It's simple if you know how.
<Intro Voice>
Meanwhile, in a secret lair not at all located in Florida . . .
<End Intro Voice>
Hello? Anyone out there? I remember being snatched away by Mickey Mouse, so I understand why I'm chained upside down to a wall. However the dark is a little confusing.
The dark is supposed to drive you crazy, especially after a week of it!
Then I guess I'm just made of sterner stuff than the last guy you had hanging in here. Who was it anyway?
Sylvester Stallone.
Yeah, definitely sterner stuff. So why am I here, Mouse?
Why, I'm going to give you the honour of becoming one of my first Special Friends for this Millennium!
I really don't like the sound of that.
I'm going to make you one of the core Mouseketeers for the Twenty First Century!
That's worse than what I thought! You'll never get away with it!
Sure I will. And when I'm done you'll be ever so happy! Not at all like you are now.
I think being hung upside down against a damp wall has a lot to do with my present mood.
You would have been naked, but as soon as I removed that mask I saw why you keep yourself shrouded.
Thanks. I guess that means I'm not exactly appropriate material for your little project, after all, aren't the majority of Mouseketeers bright, shiny, pretty people?
Yep. However extensive surgery mixed with the Dark Arts can solve almost anything. Look at Justin Timberlake, he started out like this.
That is not in the least bit encouraging.
So did Britany Spears.
That's it, I want out, I want out!
Foolish mortal, you're not going anywhere.
<Intro Voice>
What, are you going to reveal the secret location of Mickey Mouse's dark lair? I didn't think so.
And now, back with those who would be our heroes . . .
<End Intro Voice>
Wait, that can't possibly work for Grey. It's not logistically possible while carrying The Mighty Trout!
Grey uses something different.
Hang on, we're forgetting something.
Uh, Grey, maybe?
That's right, Grey. And it's all your fault!
Not this again.
This still. I'm very angry with you for betraying Grey.
I did not betray Grey.
Were you or were you not in league with Mickey Mouse?
No.
You were being employed by him?
Well, yes. That's hardly here or there, though. I've been working hard to help where I can!
Yeah, great one, now Grey's been captured by Lord Mickey Mouse, poker buddy of Cthulhu!
<Intro Voice>
Back at that dark lair place again . . .
<End Intro Voice>
You really think your friends will help you?
That's one friend and Bruce Campbell.
Remember, I'm Mickey Mouse, I know your thoughts.
Well I have full trust and confidence in them.
Uh-uh-uh.
Okay, I have confidence in them.
Nope.
I have some trust in them.
Not quite.
I believe in them.
No.
I believe in Blackbird.
That's a half-truth.
I believe they'll do something.
Still almost lying.
Okay, okay, okay. By now, at best, they're sitting around, eating ice cream, swapping notes on how much they've had to put up with me.
<Intro Voice>
Like I'm going to pass up a chance to check this out!
<End Intro Voice>
I like this ice cream place because their cookies and cream always has the right sized chunks of cookie.
So this is the secret to keeping Grey happy.
Ice cream nuts. Doesn't matter if we're in Iceland, he wants ice cream. At least he's not picky. Eveready to try something new.
Even then, you try and suggest something new and he clamps down like mad, assured that his is The Only Way.
Tell me about it. The more I think of it the more I'm sure that this is all his fault, not yours.
Like I keep saying, I didn't know. If I had known that Mickey only really wanted me to further his ambitions against Grey I would have said no. That simple. No one believes me, of course.
Of course not, who listens to a sidekick, let alone an ex-sidekick.
I don't consider myself ex-anything, I've been doing my part where I can.
I've noticed. Not sure that Grey does. He never appreciates anyone.
Leave it, it's probably a good idea if he doesn't know. He still seems to be pretty annoyed at me.
Well there's not much we can do about that. Wait a minute, why are we sitting here eating ice cream when we should be out saving Grey!
It's ice cream.
Oh yeah. Well then we'll just have to get to rescuing Grey later.
<Intro Voice>
And so Grey is screwed, well and truly screwed, doomed to become a minion of Lord Mickey Mouse, consumer of dreams, defiler of youth and a whole bunch of other things I'm not going into as Blackbird and Bruce Campbell sit in the sun eating ice cream.
Have I mentioned that my work rates are very, very reasonable?
<End Intro Voice>
