Mermaid’s Lure

Igor had always wanted to have sex with a mermaid. His friends thought him weird for that.

“A mermaid?” Stefan asked. Igor nodded.

“Yeah,” he said. “What? Why are you looking at me like I’m weird?” Stefan shook his head. Igor frowned. His friend threw up his hands.

“Hey, I didn’t say anything.”

Igor snorted. “You didn’t have to.”

“What?” Stefan asked. His friend frowned and shook his head. Stefan and Nikkita could laugh at him all they wanted. Igor still had his little dream. He was going to have sex with a mermaid one way or another.

Well, he was about to get his wish.

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It was a Friday night. Igor had just gotten off of work. He didn’t feel like going home tonight. The man was looking for a little excitement. The bars and the clubs weren’t doing it for him. No, he needed something a little bit different. Igor shoved his hands into his pockets. He froze when his fingers brushed up against something made of paper.

“Hm? What’s this?” he asked. Curious, Igor pulled it out and had a look. The man made a face.

“The Splash Bar?” he asked. Igor turned it from side to side. The card was pink with light blue cursive. Blue glitter and drawings of shells surrounded the words. So fancy. He closed his eyes and took a sniff. No scent. Igor opened his eyes and took another look at the card.

“Where did you come from?” he asked. The man frowned as he thought. Where was this place again? It looked so tempting…

Thirty minutes later, Igor found the building in question. Igor tilted his head to the side. How could he have missed this? This giant pink building stood out like a sore thumb. Had it always been there? Igor and the boys would’ve remembered. Someone would’ve said something. There was a giant mermaid in the fluorescent lights flipped her tail up and down as she winked. He frowned at the pink glass staring back at him. What the hell is this? There was no way he was going to go in, right?

Igor pushed open the pink glass doors and went inside.

Did he time-travel back into the seventies? The man looked around. He couldn’t remember seeing so much good everywhere at once. (There was one party, but that was how many years ago?) Paintings of naked women covered the walls. So much silk covered said walls. Peacock feathers with jewels on them were on either side of a fireplace across the room. Igor was standing on a large silk Parisian rug.

“What is this place?” he asked.

“It can be whatever you want it to be?” a woman’s voice said. Igor turned his head. The speaker looked like she was in her forties. She had on a black silk blouse and a red skirt. She grinned at him.

“Good evening,” she said. Igor walked up to the ivory front desk with a curious look on his face.

“What do you mean it can be whatever I want it to be?” he asked. He got a better look at the wrinkles on her face.

“Exactly what I said,” she replied. “How can I service you tonight?” Igor took a moment to think about it.

“Can I have sex with a mermaid?” he asked. It just came out. Maybe he just wanted to see how she would respond.

“A mermaid, sir?” the woman behind the desk asked.

“Yes,” he said. Igor paused. “That beyond the pale?” The woman didn’t answer. Instead, she handed him a small stack of papers.

“Read through these and sign at the bottom,” she said. Igor blinked at her for a second.

“Oh… Oh, okay,” he said. The man looked at the paper and started reading. The woman behind the desk said nothing as she watched him.

Twenty minutes later, Igor signed the last paper and handed the stack back to her. The woman picked up a key from the rack and handed it to him.

“Room 29, last door to your left,” she said.

“Thank you,” Igor said. He took the key and walked down the hall.

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Igor found himself in a pool room. His jaw dropped when he saw how big the pool was. The crystal blue pool swirled at his feet. Igor started breathing heavily. The gears started turning in his head.

“Oh…” the man said to himself. He looked up when he heard the sound of giggling. His heart started pounding against his chest when he saw her.

Her pink was so long that it floated around her in the water. Her bright pink bikini top could barely contain her large breasts. Her shiny pink tail could be seen in the water. The mermaid smiled and winked at him. Igor ripped off all of his clothes and jumped into the water. He swam over to her as fast as he could.

“What do you want for tonight?” she asked. The man gently took her by the chin.

“Please take me to your pleasure kingdom by the sea,” he said. Igor could’ve sworn that he saw little pink flowers in her eyes. The mermaid girl looked at him, all sweet and innocent.

“Can you kiss me?” she asked. He leaned in and kissed her on the lips. She pushed her tongue into his mouth as she pulled him closer to him. The mermaid could feel how hard he was against her swimsuit tail.

“You’re a naughty boy, aren’t you?” she whispered. Igor whimpered at her lips. The mermaid giggled. She gave him a playful nip on the neck before looking him in the eye.

“Let me show you what I do to naughty boys in my pool!” she said. Igor smirked and chuckled.

“Yes, mistress! Please punish me! I’ve been a naughty boy. I’ve been a naughty boy!” he pleaded. His new lady friend giggled as she pulled off her top.

“Oh…” Igor said, unsure if he could hold back any longer. Once her tail was rolled up, she swam over and wrapped her legs around his waist. Igor could cross sex with a mermaid off his bucket list that night.