Yanya Caballista: City Skater

PS2

Koei - 2001

Perhaps I am the worst person in all possibilities to review this game, due to the fact that I can not beat the second stage on it, but then again, I am the only person in the world who paid good money for a copy of the game, so perhaps I have a good reason to review it.

First, young peons, let us study the ideas behind the game. History lesson # 1. Sometimes, er, no make that MOST times, the ideas behind a game turn out to be much better than the real thing. For example, Valkyrie Profile. Innovative combat system, Norse Mythology, Megaman sidescrolling, how could it fail? Easily. Now then, back to the review.

In the case of Yanya, the ideas for the game were infinitely better than the finished product. Flashback to Y2K. Sega's Smilebit just released the first game with Cell-Shading. Jet Grind(Set) Radio. While not being as big a hit in the good ole USA due to it's extremely WACKED OUT qualities that Smilebit is known for, it still was enough of a hit to garnish the attention of a few companies, including Koei. Which leads us up to the president of Koei's office. There Mr. President, who's name I have not looked up, due to the fact that I personally don't care enough who's president to even spend the few minutes it would take to find out via the dandy internet, well he called his staff, showed them Jet Grind, and said, "ちょっと, このゲームを今作りなさい!" For those confused, he's Japanese. A helpful english translation follows for those linguistically impaired. In English, he pretty much said, "Hey, make this game NOW!" Now one of his staff said back, convieniently translated into English, "We can't. That would be blatantly copying a game, which is illegal." So the President responds back, also translated into english, "Ok then, make as close a game as possible to this Jet Grind Radio, but without breaking any copyright policies." "Ok." respond the staff. Now, in Japan, Ok is normally used term, which means just the same as in English, so don't be asking for a translation on that sentence fragment.

So the developers began er...well... developing the game. Some had some pretty creative ideas though. One thought, "Insead of rollerblades, let's make it skateboards!" (He thought this, and since thinking, we are going to assume, can happen in whatever language your brain thinks in, therefore would/could be the same for any and everyone, and so will be in English. Another developer thought that it would be better without graffiting stuff, since Graffiting is illegal in most public places. Instead, they voted on the idea of aliens landing and taking over the world, and the only way to stop them was to do tricks on a skateboard. Those quirky Japanese. What will they come up with next? Oh, yeah, Mr. Misquito. So they began designing the game. They came up with 6 levels, multiple difficulties, lot's of different types of training exercises, and a "Ramp" mode, whose goals are unexplainable. Then one crazy coot, whom I have named "Chris" came up with the idea to use the two analog sticks, held sideways, as a skateboard, and the two buttons underneath the analogs, R3 and L3, as the two buttons needed. So they fashioned this crazy fresh object, which looks like a mini skateboard with suction cups on the bottom, to connect over the two analog sticks, and make them "Move like a skateboard." While good in theory, it didn't work well. Or maybe it was the whole "unresponsive controls that take about 2 months to learn and still suck," problem that made the game play so poorly. Needless to say, something sucked with the game.

What liked: It was Jet Grind Radio for the PS2! Or so I stupidly thought. For someone who didn't have a dreamcast (at the time) this game was supposed to be heaven sent. It also features two player mode, which should be better than it is, like the whole game. Also, I tend to buy quirky games (ahem, Mr. Misquito) and with the mini-skateboard, this was about a quirky as they come. Did I mention the cell-shading? This was before EVERYTHING and their mother was cell-shaded, and still looked cool.

What disliked: The controls are the worst of any game ever made, period. I won't even begin to explain them, but I will say this. If you have never played a Tony Hawk game, which means I am talking to that one person in Ohio who thinks that extreme sports games are the devil, you may like this game. But as soon as you play Tony Hawk, and play this ever in the future, you will wish the controls were responsive so you could pull off an kickflip, which only works when the computer decides you should preform a kickflip. Heck, I couldn't even ollie sometimes, and that trick took no effort. Just push L3 in.

What to expect: The worst ripoff of a game ever, but with cool ideas. Cell-shaded teens on skateboards, defeating monsters by doing tricks for them!

What not to expect: Jet Grind Radio. 'Nuff Said.

What's so different from this and other games of it's genre:

Ratings on:

Control: 1 - Only due to the fact that, every now and then, you can do a trick. Then you celebrate. A lot.

Graphics: 8 - I might venture to say that the graphics are just as good as Jet Grind. Of course I haven't played either in quite a while. Still, this is good cell-shading.

Sound: 2 - No Jet Grind Soundtrack either. And here I was thinking they got Guitar Vader for the ripoff game as well. Sigh.

Style: 2 - Ripping off another game NEVER deserves style points. The two points are for using a skateboard to defeat aliens, and the idea that a mini-skateboard on your analog sticks could have been a good idea if done properly.

1st hour: 4 - Mama Mia! This game had better get good at some point.

5th hour: 6 - Still in training mode. Can't do tricks 'cause the computer is a *****.

1st week: 7 - Whoa, I just remembered that there was an actual game in here, besides training. Played the first level, and after 3 times, I could beat it. It's actually a lot easier than training.

5th week: 2 - Got to the second level. Tried it 57 times, and can't beat it. Man, I wish the controls would just do what I told them to.

#1 reason why I hate this game: I thought it was gonna be Jet Grind Radio for the PS2. Sob.

by Hawke