Win, Lose, or DRAW!

NES

Hi-tech expressions - ?

Do you remember that cheesy 80’s gameshow- Win, Lose, or DRAW? Well, now you can have every single bit of the fun that you got from watching a bunch of homo erectus leap about and demonstrate their “drawing” skill, only without the FCC regulations! (it’s a . . . penis!! A cock! No, it’s the herpes virus! Garr!)

So basically, the game is the gameshow. End of story, or near enough. You can either have the computer draw or attempt to sketch with the control pad which is both painful and irritating (It ALMOST drove me to homework. Shudder . . . ). You type the answer out on a little onscreen keyboard and try to outscore the other team. It comes with a few different difficulty settings, but that’s basically it.

Interestingly, Win, Lose or DRAW is almost a soley two player game. While this may seem strange, I think, in the long run, it was a good idea. Whatever AI the programmers could cook up for this two bit hack attempt to make you cough up some dough would either incinerate your team without thought or posses an intelligence slightly inferior to that of a potato chip. You do have the option to play a one team game, but win, lose or DRAW masturbating is about as fun as it sounds.

There is one thing about Win, Lose or DRAW that is truly strange. When you guess a drawing correctly the people on your team stand up and cheer for you. I played a round, and as it progressed, these are the words of encouragement that my teammates gave: “COOL!” “SUPER!” “GREAT!” “HAIRY!” What the hell is up with that? Hairy? Is that good thing? I guess so, otherwise they wouldn’t be shouting it after “SUPER” and “GREAT.” My only guess is that the programmers that were working with it knew what a sub-par game it was and decided to have your team shout out “HAIRY!” at random times as a joke/form of passive/aggressive revenge. Go fig’.

What liked:when your teammates jump and yell “HAIRY!” at your every victory, your heart swells with joy.

What disliked:It’s a pale imitation of a trite 80’s game show. And it really pisses me off when my teammates say “NEAT!”

What to expect:Low-Fat Win, Lose or Draw.

Ratings on:

Control: 5 (it works. You do not type “bonk” when you mean “bunk.”)

Graphics: 2(Everythings very basic, minimalistic and stereotypical)

Sound: 3 (I can’t decide whether to start a hoe-down or just quit)

Style: 1 (There’s almost no originality at all. It’s the tofu of games)

1st hour: 3 (Hey! Win, Lose or DRAW! I hated that game show.)

2nd hour: 1 (I’m only playing this because I haven’t finished the review. That and I’m not finished Win, Lose, or DRAW masturbating. Mmmmmmmm.)

#1 reason why I hate this game: “it’s a sea! Ocean! Beach! Island! No?! what the . . . WATER?! BLABLABLBLABLBA!!!”

by Freeohio