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Shaq Fu Electronic Arts and Delphine Software - ??? Right. First I should probably explain how I ever got this game, much less played it. So I bought a Genesis from a friend a while ago, and went to Gamestop, saw the game in the shelf of games for sale for 1.49, and decided that for that price, it would be worth playing a really crappy game. It wasn't. But I did enjoy the fact that it is probably one of the crappiest games ever. I enjoyed that so much, or maybe it was the fact I was high on acid at the time, that I started writing a FAQ for Shaq. Yes I know that rhymes. That is what I thought was funny at the time. Luckly I recovered from my tripping, and have never finished my Shaq-FAQ. But for youse guys, I will give the basic premise of the game, since it is D-U-M dumb enough to be considered funny by some. If story mode is selected, the game begins with a really dumb and annoying story sequence, which follows. Shaq is walking around narrating his adventure: "It's downtown Tokyo and I'm checkin' out the local sights on the day of my all star charity game when... ...I stumbled upon a small Kung Fu dojo with an old man inside... 'Greetings big warrior. You are the one from the stars, I presume? I thought I'd never live to see the day!' 'I'm an all star if that's what you mean? We have a game tonight... would you like to come? Its goining to be quite a battle even though it is for charity.' 'Oh no, young warrior, I'm too old to be fighting. But I wish you well... You must hurry now if you are to save the little boy, Nezu That is, if your really are the magic one?' 'I'm not sure what you mean? I'm just sightseeing before my game. What are you talking about?' 'No time to explain! Go through this portal -find Nezu- and save him before it's too late!'" Yeah. Hope you caught that. SHAQ, playing a beast of a game FOR CHARITY runs into an OLD MAN who sends him off to ANOTHER WORLD to SAVE A KID. Which he promptly does after fighting random, stereotypical people. And yes, we never find out why he is fighting these people. We do know though that Shaq has to defeat the kid he is trying to save, since he is being mind controlled. more of the insanely stupid story to follow...
Up north-west is theYasko Mines, don't miss it, cause I did at first. Next to it is the Lost Jungle. To the right is the store you came from, apparently it exists in both Shaq's and the other world. Next to it is the North Gate, which I don't recommend going to yet, cause the old man you fight is rather tough. Below that is The Wasteland, then west the Vagabond Temple. All the way south is the Gargoyles' Peak. In the next area there is a forest where you fight the cat-girl, a laboratory where you fight the robot guy, and South Gate where you fight the kid you are trying to save. I don't yet know what is beyond there because I can't beat that crappy kid.
What liked: It wasn't Valkyrie Profile. What disliked: It wasn't good. What to expect: Shaq making a complete fool of himself against the most blatant stereotypical characters ever. Period. What not to expect: Any sort of gameplay, strategy, or fun. What different from any other game: Most games have some sort of gameplay, and fun. It doesn't.
Control - 2 A 2 for sometimes you can pull off the move you wanted to. Graphics - 1 Wait, where is Shaq? He's about 3 pixils tall, and there is so much extra unused space around. Why couldn't he be bigger? Sound - 0 I don't know for I wasn't stupid enough to leave the sound on ever. Style - 1 Shaq in a videogame? In a fighting game? What the hey? For sheer dumbness I will give it a 1.
1st hour - 4 Still laughing about the basic plot of the game. 5th hour - 0 Gave up on it 3.9 hours ago. 1st week - 0 In the closet with the Sega CD. 2nd week - 0 Moved out of the closet to make room for Michael Jackson's Moonwalker. Now in the dumpster outside. 1st month - 0 Found by a hobo in the dumpster, sold to the local Gamestop, and bought by yours truly.
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