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Panic Restuarant NES Taito - 1992 Once a vibrantly short girl came to me and said “Hey! When you were a kid, did you ever play a nintendo game where you were a chef and some evil chef took over your restaurant and you used common cooking equipment like forks, skillets and plates to win it back in an epic battle between good and evil cheffery?” To which I replied “Back, demon spawn!” Then she got all offeneded. Some people. But then, a month or two ago, I came across something called “Panic Restaurant.” Which I thought sounded funny. Because that’s how I choose the games that I review. So, OhDove’s taken over your restaurant, EaTen. Sally forth and protect your good name from his deadly concoctions! Use whatever’s handy and your own cheffy wits to outcoin and out platform an army of ZOMBIE food!
It’s got a few things working against it, though. first off, there’s the sheer level of camp involved in making a platformer about good and evil chefs (whether or not that’s bad us up to you, though). Second, you have yet another re-invention of the platformer genre replete with items, bosses and powerups. Veterans beware. Then you have the stock level by level system (although it IS done well. Each level is named after a course: Appetizer, fish, meat, etc.) . . . yet somehow, it comes off as tottally unique, a-la Freakish Clown ga- er, Little Nemo: Dream Master. I guess when it comes right down to it, Nintendo just knows how to make the same game over and over again, but somehow convince you it’s a good enough idea to spend money on. And how! But seriously, if you’re looking for a fun example of old school nintendo platformery, look no further than “Panic Restaurant.” What liked: The whole game is like some sort of weird party where the host starts making puppets out of the food in an entertaining way. What disliked: Yet another NES platformer, nonetheless. What to expect: Platforming fun, food that plays with YOU. What's so different from other games of it's genre: a dash of imagination, a pinch of “What?!!” and a garnish of hokey chef jokes. Ratings on: Control: 8 (jumping’s a bit hard to manage) Graphics: 6 (unimpressive, but points for imagination.) Sound: 4 (as if megaman wasn’t enough the FIRST time around) Style: 9 (definitely the game’s strong point) Difficulty: 7 (reasonably challenging. Let me put it this way – you don’t have to cook in your own juices . . . ha! that was a . . .chef . . . . joke.) 1st second: 10 (Wait,I’m a CHEF?!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!) 1st half hour: 10 (hehehehe . . . oh . . . hehehehe.) 1st week: 10 (heh. heheh. whew. Oh yeah! the game.) 1st week, 1st hour: 8 (this game is awesome! I think I pulled something!) #1 reason why I hate this game: About the 20th time the evil kabobs catch you off guard. Cheeky kabobs. |
