Ninja Gaiden

NES

Tecmo - 1989

Ninja Gaiden – the classic first adventure of Ryu Hayabusa of DOA2 fame – is a really solid game. I’m not sure if it’s entirely original- the techniques and the gameplay are trite these days, but in 1989, it was really something else, so screw you.

So, basically, you’re a ninja who sets off to get revenge for the murder of his father, but gets pulled into something much bigger along the way . . . with lots of killing of everything. Especially carelessly placed lanterns. (P.S. – Ryu’s father is atually named Ken! Coincidence . . . of Doom!)

Ninja Gaiden’s got a lot of things that its contemporaries lacked. For one, it has incredibly solid control. All moves, with a few notable exceptions, work almost exactly as they are intended. Another is the plot – it exists! Providence! Unlike most early Nintendo games, you don’t need a working knowledge of the plot before you turn the game on. The game explains itself and, between levels, you even get (gasp) cut-scenes! The cut scenes manage to explain somewhat what you are doing and where you are, which makes the whole ninja-gaiden experience run just a bit more like buttah . . . BUTTAH. Another welcome feature is your ample life-bar. It allows you to take a decent amount of punishment and NOT DIE. It seems the good people at Tecmo have infinite patience for players kicking the bucket, so you get to start over as many times as you wish.

There are some things about the game that detract from the experience. One of the more obnoxious is the fact that if you kill an enemy, they can still be regenerated if you move their spawning point off screen, then on screen again. (so if you kill an enemy, take a few steps back, then return to your original position, the enemy re-appears. Imagine Pauly Shore appearing no matter how many times you stab him good. It’s that bad.) The jumping is also slightly annoying, but the most heinous of all the game features is the fact that if an enemy harms you, you are thrown backwards (brushback). This little device, more often than not it seems, kills you. Many are the times that I was thrown from a cliff by a simple henchperson who was merely waving his arms about. Not very ninja-ish – getting pushed off a cliff by Rocco the incompetent thug.

What liked: Ryu is the man! He bounces all over the place and kills everything! The plot is coherent! Fun! We are having fun!

What disliked: Magic regenerating thugs, some jumping features, Rocco the henchperson.

What to expect: An engaging, challenging, old-skool gaming experience

What not to expect: something you’ve never seen before.

Ratings on:

Control: 8 ( you can tell what you’re doing. Allows for quick movement and split-second decisions.)

Graphics: 5 (nothing special)

Sound: 6 ( I was listening to Dashboard Confessional. They get a six!)

Style: 8 (Besides being an especially well done side-scroller, it has incorporated plot and interesting items.)

Ratings on:

1st hour: 7 (Weeee! Kill kill kill!)

5th hour 8 (Truly a classic.)

1st week 7 (It’s really hard, but I keep coming back!)

2nd week 6 ( I give up. That ho can keep her stupid statue! Just one more try.)

#1 reason why I hate this game: Many a ninja there lies at the bottom of this cliff . . .

Freeohio Is missing and presumed vegetarian.