MegaMan X Review

Capcom - 1986?

What can I say about this game that hasn't already been said about every other game in the series? Actually, MMX may be the most original MM game since the original, although I'm pretty sure that says nothing at all. For those of you crazy Italians out there, hung up on Roman numerals, MMX is a whole different series from the original, and is in NO WAY the same as Megaman Ten. In Megaman X, Santa Cl…er…Doctor Light's newest creation has totally different powers from the original. For example, he can dash, whereas old MM can only slide. X can charge his blaster, whereas the original…oh wait…he could do that too, after #3. Okay, so the only big thing that really changed is that X can grab walls and jump up them. It comes in handy. Also, as far as dumb semantics go, instead of energy crystals, he has subtanks that you have to fill with energy before you use. In another revolutionary change, mavericks (those evil robots you fight at the end of levels) are animal robots, instead of being named ____ Man. Doctor Wily is out of the picture, although I seriously doubt MM ever killed him, since he's about as pacifist as a quaker on an acid trip during a Vietnam War protest.

What the Japanese call "Super Original Fantabulous innovations:"

A water level

An ice level

A fire level

A woodsy level

A wind-related weapon

A shield

Some sort of explosive weapon

A boomerang weapon

And let's not forget electricity

Now, if I was a masochist, I'd go list the extraordinary number of normal MM's that included those things before MMX was released, but I know MM2 had all but electricity, and MM1 had ice, fire, bomb, and electricity. Also, if memory serves, Cutman gave you a boomerang thing. For the record, these elements appear OVER and OVER in every MM and MMX game, from 1-9 in the original and 1-6 in the X series.

What I liked: It is a good game, albeit horribly unoriginal. It featured new themes, upgrades, and bad guys, included a new final boss. As far as side-scrolling action goes, Megaman is the alpha and omega, with the possible exception of Mario (though I argue that's a different type of game). There were a handful of interesting innovations…

The subtanks: use them as long as you want, provided you collect life for them

Heart tanks: increase life bar. Seems cool, but sucks like a vacuum cuz enemies can spit on you and kill you at the beginning of the game.

Animal theme: novelty item. If only there were a baby seal to club…

Wall jumps: simply the bomb, but it does make you feel like crap when you fall to your death.

Upgrades: finding dash, armor, buster, and helmet upgrades is cool. Get 'em first and mow through bosses, or wait and challenge yourself. Options are good.

One of the more fun elements of the game is probably charging special weapons. I never really used this feature (except for the shield) but after watching a friend blow through the game this way, I was swayed.

What I didn't like: In the words of David Spade…I like this better the first time I played it…when it was called Megaman 1 through 6. Bosses are pretty easy to waste. You can run thru levels without fighting much. The painful monotony of even remembering this game makes me cringe. I could probably handle this game in a solid 2 hours, which says something considering the sheer mass of ground you have to cover. Last boss is a major asspain, as usual. If you get the hadoken (hey, what else does Capcom have going for 'em?) then you can waste Sigma 1 and the Mutt in one hit each, then fight Big Nasty Wolf Sigma (Yes, that's his official name) with the subtanks and rolling shield. Not too hard then. If you like any MM game, you'll like this. I waiver between admiration and pure, unbridled hatred for the assholes that created this series. Read into that however you want.

Controls: wicked good, although dashing and shooting is tough (Y+A), so 9.

Graphics: solid for SNES, esp. for being fairly early on the system. Again, 9.

Sound: average I suppose. Good music, but same dumb attack noises, etc. 8.

Style: Were the eighties ever cool? On a scale of one to ten, this game gets a negative four. This game is about as original as O-Town.

1st hour: 7…Intro sucks, playing without enhancements isn't that great.

5th hour: 5…I develop a nervous tick if I play this long.

1st week: 8…you come to appreciate the game's strong points, but hate it if you know the MM games well enough. You know you beat it before, but you're doing it again for no apparent reason.

2nd week: 5…Uncontrollable resentment. Desire to sue Capcom for whatever two weeks of your life is worth

1st month: 7…you aren't playing again for a while. I think that merits a 7.

#1 reason to hate this game: you've played it in six different cartridges already, and yet you're going to do it again. Other than the New York Mets and the band Poison, does anyone really want it to be 1986 again? I didn't think so.

X and a "haduken," they didn't even try, and can we say "Boba Fett?"

by Evil X