Mischief Makers

Nintendo 64

Treasure / Enix – A Long Time Ago

Wow. Wooow. I haven’t played this game in AGES, but searching through the giant collection of Video Games in my house, I came across this game. My brother got it for his birthday, way back when Enix and Square were separate companies, Nintendo still owned Rare, and dinosaurs roamed the Earth.

So, this game is a 2D sidescrollers about an android named Marina, who, to this day I think is as great as Mega Man (original). And Marina had only one game. Bravo. But yeah, it’s about this android girl who can…

PICK UP STUFF AND SHAKE IT (and throw it too)!!!

I know, I was practically jizzing my pants when I figured this out. But wait, there’s more! As an android, you have to have a creator. Unless you're God. Because God is cool like that. But God isn’t an android. So you have a creator, and his name is Dr. Theo, and he keeps getting kidnapped. So you, with your awesome shaking powers, must go through multiple stages and bosses to finally retrieve the good ol’ doctor. Who you end up hitting because he’s a perv.

Doesn't take it off. Not even once. So of course, if you haven’t gotten it yet, this game is like anime/comedy themed. I mean, android is a hint, but “touchy-touchy” old men doctors? You know that you can feel the anime. There’s even anthromorphs…the BEASTECTORS!!! The three main bosses, Lunar (wolf), Tarus (sasquatch), and Merco (pimp) all have regular forms, where they attack you, then they have final forms, where they somehow get gigantic transforming things. Lunar has the Cerberus Alpha, Tarus has the Sasquatch Beta, and Merco has the Pimp…erm, Phoenix Gamma.

I can taste Transformer-like juices. Oh, oh! But wait! The final boss brings all the three together, and they merge their robots to form BEASTECTOR!!! Which TOTTALLY does not look like Optimus Prime.

What Liked: The whole anime/comedy theme, It’s a sidescroller, and that there was so much Transformer-esque stuff.

What Disliked: No arm cannon. Merco’s cheesy pick-up lines. The fact that you had to collect Yellow Gems to watch the ending.

What To Expect: Craziness on a level that matches most animes.

What Not To Expect: Arm cannons. Waah.

What's So Different From This And Other Games Of It's Genre: You shake and throw stuff. And, you can somehow manage to pick up a giant robot 827373643 times your size.

Ratings On:

Control – N/A: Since I’m right now using a USB GamePro Controller to play the *coughromcough*, I really can’t give it a real score, since it may be more comfortable with an N64 controller

Graphics – 8: For it’s time, the graphics were great. Everything was 3D graphics, on a 2D plane. Like most games should.

Sound – 6: Tasty. The “techno” style sometimes annoyed me, but I liked it for the most part.

Style – 9: How many other games do you see android girls running around planets fighting of Beast Machines to save a crazy old coot? I dunno. You tell me.

1st Hour – Pssht. This game is easy. I had trouble with then when I was young?

5th Hour – I hate Tarus

5th day – (I’ve beaten it)

1st week – (I said I’ve beaten it)

#1 Thing I Hate About This Game: Marina never got nekkid and danced for me. Tim sad.

by Tim