Madden 2004

X-Box

EA Sports - 2003 "It's in the game"

Madden 2004 is EA Sports most current edition of the Madden Games. But I dont understand why they continue to call it Madden (insert nest year here). Cause Madden really doesn't have anything to do with the game, except he constantly talks throughout the game and it's really annoying. In fact when I play Madden has nothing to do with my game cause I turn down the sound down all the way so I can't hear his annoying voice. In fact when I describe Madden to my friends who dont know who he is, I tell them he's the old fart on Monday Night Football who has diarhea os the mouth.

Anyways, there's this thing called the Madden Curse, where since the year 2000, instead of putting a generic image of a football player or a pictuer of Madden's fat self on it, they actually started putting real football players on the cover. Three years ago, Eddis George was the first coverboy of the Madden series. Coming off a spectacular Super Bowl Run, Eddie George was destined for great things, until they asked him to be on the cover of Madden 2001. Hampered by a wicked, bone dissolving hit from the murdering line backer Ray Lewis, George was held to 3 yards per carry and 939 yards on the year. This was his worst professional year EEEEEVVVVVEEEERRRR!

Damn! Madden 2002, EA Sports contracted Dante Culpepper to be the coverboy for... BLAH BLAH BLAH! WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT? Everyone knows of the Madden curse. Whoever graces the cover of a Madden game will have an awful year. This year it was Michael Vick. End of story. This reviewer is sooo crap! Hi, Hawke here, taking over for the WORST REVIEW EVER! Ok, Madden 04. What do you need to know? First, buy it on PS2, it has network capabilities that the XBox version doesn't have. Second, play it. Everyone and their mother's bastard stepchild loves this game. A lot. I personally don't, but that is apparently because I "hate good games" or some crap like that. But apparently everyone else in the entire known universe plays this game. In fact, at my workplace (that would be GAMESTOP), we stayed open 2 hours later than normal and I grilled hotdogs the day Madden 04 came out. 50 big black surly guys who played football in highschool came and bought it, and almost revolted when the game didn't come in on time. Yeah. So, moral of the story, if you can't trust big surly black guys, who can you trust? So, back to Dan.

Ding-a-Long!

What liked: Winning the Uber-Bowl with the Cleveland Browns. Yes...miracles do happen.

What disliked: Ball Swat Drill. Whoever thought of this game should be taken out back and fucked over like he stole something in Saudi Arabia.

What to expect: Lots of large black men hitting each other

What not to expect: Good White players

What's so different from this and other games of it's genre: The fuck-ass commentary

Ratings on:

Control: 3.1

Graphics: 4.1

Sound: 5.9

Style: 2.6 (btw the ratings equal pie. Yes, who's a dork?!)

1st hour: Wow! You can play as NFL EUROPEAN TEAMS!!!

5th hour: WOW! You can get cheerleader cards!

1st week: WTF?! I hate the Ball Swat Drill.

5th week: FuthaMucking Roommates keep playing it all the Fugging time! Why can't I just watch "I Love the 80's Strikes Back"

#1 reason why I hate this game: John Futha Mucking Madden

by Hawke and Dan