|
Katamari Damacy Namco 2003 – Playstation 2
Why, endorsement by the friendly people over at Penny Arcade and VGcats…and various other COOL webcomics. Not like Zorro and Ester, no way. [Hawke: "Zorro and Ester has a Katamari comic coming, it would be here now, except for this thing called leukemia. Give me time. Woo. Tangent."] So my brother goes out to buy this game since what he had read about it sounded good. When it was opened and played, it was discovered to be worth WAY much more than $20. That’s all we paid. Well, he actually gave up the money...but I’m the one who played it. Here’s the basic premise of the game. You’re a 5cm tall thingy…and you roll this ball thing around the world. And it picks stuff up. Cool, no? It gets better. The more stuff you pick up, the bigger your ball gets. Eventually, you will be able to run over people, houses, sailboats, rainbows, and at the very end, countries. I picked up half the world. And Canada. I made sure to pick up that place first, so it would be stocked under the US. Then I laughed about it. I guess I should tell some of the story, since “rolling a ball around and picking up stuff” really isn’t much of a story. You are the teeny tiny Prince of the Universe. You’re probably only 5cm tall because your parents smoked a lot of pot (shown by the intro scene on the world full of horny pandas and mushroom castles). Your dad, the King of the Universe (and he has a GIGANTIC CROTCH. I would assume he could destroy small villages with said crotch.), got drunk one night and destroyed all the cool stuff in the sky, like stars and the moon. So he forces you to roll stuff up on earth to make stars, constellations, and the moon eventually. What liked: How messed up this game was. What disliked: Time limits, which are cured when you unlock the three “eternal” stages (free play) What to expect: Horny pandas, floating pot leafs (this game is rated “E” by the way.), huge crotches, and mushroom castles. That’s just the intro. What not to expect: Sensibility? I guess? What's so different from this and other games of it's genre: I have no god damn clue what genre this is, so I will deem it “Roll around and collect stuff to make your ball bigger” or “RACSTMYBB” Rating on: Controls – 7: The ONLY buttons you use are R1 and L1, and the analog sticks. Both sticks in one direction make your ball move forwards…which can be uncomfortable at times. Turning is also annoying when you have to turn on a dime. Graphics – 6: Everything is blocky. It’s supposed to look like this, however, to make it more Japanese. Or something. It’s just supposed to be REALLY Japanese. And it’s not like it’s a PSX blocky. It’s a sophisticated blocky. Sound – 10: THIS is a shining point in the game. The game has a very original soundtrack with very good artists. “Lonely Rolling Star” is one of my favorites in the game, along with the intro theme, which also appears in the full version on “Make the Moon” Style – 10: I’m really sick of quoting my Fable review. Therefore, I shall state that “This game has so much style; it could easily top Michael Jackson back when he was cool.” Difficulty – 9: It gets really annoying sometimes trying to make your ball 1m when all you can find are thumbtacks and other equally tiny things. The time limits can also be constricting. 1st hour: Woah. Stars AND Constellations? Cooltastic. 3rd hour: 300m?! Do they realize how impossible that is?! 25 min. later: Well...considering that there was so much stuff to collect, I got up to 600m! 1 month after I had beaten the game: Hmm…maybe I can get a better score on make the moon... 25 min. later: I have just become 800m. There is nothing that I cannot run over. I have picked up Thunder Gods, Rainbows, Tornados, Glaciers, and there are angels hovering around my gigantic ball. Wootshaka. 1 day later: Holy CRAP! Free play!? #1 reason why I hate this game: CURSE YOU TIME LIMITS! YOU RESTRICT ME FROM UNLOCKING THE FULL POTENTIONAL OF MY BALLS!!! By Tim, who has the lamest name here. :’( |
