Halo 2

Xbox

Microsoft/Bungie -2004

OMG HALO2 IS TEH BSET SHIT EVA R U GET 2 US 2 WEPONS AND SHOT ALEENS WITH GUNS AND THER ONLINE PLAY WITH XBOX LIV AND I WAKE UP AT 2 AM TO GO TO STROE AND BUY FOR HALO2 MIDNITE MADNESS BECUZ HALO2 IS THE BEST THING SINCE PIE I LUFF PIE ITS SO GREAT BECUZ HALO WAS GOOS AND I LOV IT SO MUCH ITS GREAT I WANT TO MAK BABYS WITH GAME LOLOLO I LUFF HALO2!!!!

…is what any faithful Halo lover would say about this game. True, the game is fun, you can hold two weapons, which is cool, and there is online play.

That’s pretty much all the game has running for it. I mean, yeah, I got the cool collectors edition box…but I think the normal box is actually better. It’s just a silver box with a picture of Master Chief on the back. It does come with some kinda promo DVD, but I didn’t care enough to watch it.

Online play is cool for a while. I did have an entertaining discussion with some guy about Spider-Man…and then it got boring. We sang the Spider-Man song together while blasting each other to bits with out Rocket Launchers in Zanzibar...but that’s a story for another day…

The cut scenes, while amazingly made, annoy me. It takes a few seconds for the game to load. So it’s black, then it begins to map itself, then it finishes loading, while the voices are going on. What’s especially annoying about this is that I feel graphics are only important during cut scenes, and when you don’t get to see them because it takes 8 seconds to load…you catch my drift, yes?

Maybe I’m just coolness prone, but this game really doesn’t seem like “Game of the Year” material. Yeah, it’s an excellent multiplayer game, especially for parties…but I just can’t dig it, ya?

What liked: Online Play, Plasma Swords, Rocket Launchers, Holding two weapons, Vehicles.

What disliked: A lot of stuff. A bit too much to list here.

What to expect: Halo with some cool new stuff. And that it takes place on Earth.

What not to expect: Game of the year

What’s so different from this and other games of it's genre: Maybe the fact that it’s just a tad overhyped.

Controls - 9: I get confused with the buttons sometimes, and accidentally jump and chuck a plasma grenade where I should have switched out my Rocket Launcher and blown the shit out of my opponent.

Graphics - 10: Awesome in cut scenes (if they ever load, that is), and fine during gameplay. However, as I think I’ve stated before, graphics don’t put a hook in me…

Sound - 7: I figured a 7 was fitting. I don’t really like the rock songs that they put into this game. I preferred the first games music, which was a bit softer and seemed to serve the purpose better. Sound Effects, however, go excellent.

Style - 6: HOLY CRAP! A GAME THAT DOESN’T GET A 10 IN STYLE FROM ME!!! But really. This game seems to be a rehash of Halo with some new features. Not to say that the new features don’t give it some points here.

Difficulty - 8: The game itself isn’t very hard at all. It’s when you play online with 11 year olds who do nothing but play the game which makes them uber, and then you have to live with the fact that you beaten by an 11 year old, and then you begin to dedicate yourself to Halo to beat an 11 year old…and people laugh at you for working so hard to beat an 11 year old in a video game…

...what was I saying?

1st minute: OMGHALO2YEYEYEYEYE!!!1111ONESHIFTRANDMSPEECH!!!11

1 hour later: Umm…Online now please?

2nd day: OMGHALO2ONELINEIGETPLYZONLYNELOLOLOMGYZE!!11111

5th day: Umm…something else?

2nd week: Didn’t even make it this far. I still play from time to time…

#1 reason why I hate this game: Overhyped. Just like how Hawke felt about Fable.

On a final note, I dare any of you Halo Fanboys to flame me for downplaying Halo 2. Come on. Do it. I freaking triple dog dare you.

By Tim, who will eventually have to get a new e-mail address because of all the Halo Fanboys about to e-mail him…or not.