Grand Theft Auto 3

PS2

Rockstar Games - 2001

What can I say about Grand Theft Auto 3? It is my illicit lover, my extramarital affair. It finds the deep-rooted, long-suppressed human instinct for base, carnal mayhem and drags the great, swollen mass of it all into the glorious light of public exposure. Put simply, it lets you shoot innocent bystanders in the head with a zoom-lens sniper rifle while riding at 80+ mph on the hood of an imitation Dodge Viper. 'Nuff said.

What ? are you still here? Did you not understand? Guns? Cars? Hookers? Drugs? Gangs? Blood? Sex? Violence? Hello? Hel-looo?

Ok, fine if you're not already running out the door to buy this game, I guess I'll have to break it down for you one more time.

What liked: In a word? EVERYTHING. GTA3 does the impossible, combining absolutely engrossing, totally dynamic gameplay with a plot so irresistibly cool it flows through countless hours like the best action movie you've ever imagined. Each new car is your favorite toy, every new gun a life experience. The cast of characters spans the entire spectrum of society's sleazy underbelly, and professional dubbing by honest-to-goodness Hollywood film actors breathes life into each scene, giving the whole experience a staggering aura of reality. Think that's amazing? Try this: you get radio stations - nine of 'em - each with a different theme, from classical, to oldies, to rap, to talk (seriously), and each containing several hours of non-looped programming, including superb original music, D.J. commentary, and even commercials!

This game sets a new standard for go-anywhere, do-anything freedom. If you can dream it, you can do it. Slaughtering innocents, causing traffic accidents just to hear the other drivers scream things that explain the game's "M" rating, setting up roadblocks/getaway vehicles/traps before you actually begin a mission - it's all good. Want to broaden your selection of wheels? No problem. Just kill enough cops and you can jack police black-and-whites, SWAT vans, unmarked Fibbie rides, even military personnel carriers and - you guessed it - tanks. Can't find a cop, you say? Just cause enough carnage, and they?ll find you. They'll even bring friends, to help you break in your arsenal of handy-dandy shotguns, bazookas, flamethrowers, and sundry other "personal defense appliances." And if you're short of ammo, with John Law breathing down your neck, a quick hit of lab-quality amphetamines will turn your twin fists into weapons of mass destruction, while slowing the pace of life around you to a feeble crawl.

What disliked: Um-weren't you listening? NOTHING. That's the opposite of EVERYTHING, which is what I said I liked about this game. Try to keep up, people.

What to expect: Murder, mayhem, misconduct, maleficence, massive explosions. Remember, this game was rated "M," after all. Also, throw in some lascivious, lewd, licentious behavior to spice things up. Oh, and don't forget to garnish with a sprig of naughty language.

What not to expect: Kid gloves. To say Rockstar pulled no punches on this game would be an understatement. Every deplorable act you can conceive is included and exceeded somewhere in the course of your trek through life on the wild side, and without any side-orders of subtlety, taste, or tact to sully your wicked palate.

How different from other games: It's got driving, but it's not a racing game. It's got guns, but it's not a shoot-'em-up. It's got plot, but it's not an rpg. It's got lots of cinema, but it's not Metal Gear Solid 2.

Ratings:

Control: 8 - takes some practice, just due to the sheer number and variety of functions, but, thanks to good key assignments, quickly becomes second nature

Graphics: 7 - definitely utilizes the power of PS2, but not Dead or Alive 2 quality for non-CG visuals (NOTE: This is not a negative; the graphics are more than enough to make the game thoroughly realistic and believable).

Sound: 10 - Did you read the part about the radio stations, for crying out loud?!

Style: 7 - great cinematography; every cut scene reminds you of Woo, or Tarantino, and each of the three islands has its own, unique set of cars, buildings, and even color schemes designed to set a certain mood

1st Hour: 10 - exactly the game you meant to buy

5th Hour: 10 - actually, a little better than the game you meant to buy

1st Week: 10 - you've called everyone you know, just to show them this game, which you're sure is going to be yanked off the shelves and banned for being too freakin' cool

2nd Week: 10 - you still catch yourself saying "Now I KNOW they aren?t allowed to do that, right?"

1st Month: 10 - you realize the thrill never diminishes, because you just keep getting more secrets, a.k.a. more weapons, more cars, more ways to reach Nirvana (read: ANARCHY), plus you've got access to a whole world of people to outrun, out-gun, and use however you see fit

#1 reason why I hate this game: I will never, ever, get to do any of this stuff in real life... * sniffle *

Reviewed by: Ari