|
Gauntlet NES Atari - 1985 Remember that time we went to that dungeon? We were gonna find some treasure or something. You got all dressed up in your tights and I wore an old bathrobe. We were Schizofrenic back then. Oh man! rembmer that FROG? That shot TESTICLES AT US?!!!* haha. Good times. Gauntlet is a dungeon infested action game with fantastical leanings. You play as either a mage, an archer, a valkyrie or a warrior. You are thrust into dungeon after dungeon, each more difficult than the last for the sake of treasure, food, and a goooood look at the valkyrie’s gazungas. Each different class has different strengths and weaknesses: the archer is fast, the warrior hits hard, the mage has good magic (he uses the “kill everything” button well) and the valkyrie is good all around. And I mean ALL around! . . . hehe . . . Up to 2 can play at this game. Seeing as it’s from 1985, Gauntlet is anything but complicated. Kill. Treasure. Food. Kill. They do change up the enemies a bit as you progress, the dungeons look a little different, but it’s a lot of shooting and a little bit of treasure. To deal with the repetitiveness, Atari added a very special feature to make the game more challenging – your hit points are constantly draining. Maybe you’re actually a zombie adventurer resurrected to find treasure and food for a little man who lives in your finger, but most likely you’ve been, uh, poisend and have to . . . oh I don’t know. What liked: Great action game for the NES. It’s very simple, but challenging enough to keep the game engaging for a long time. What disliked: The fact remains that the stuff they throw at you can’t be changed a whole lot. An NES game from 1985 can only pull so many things out of its butt before God smites it. What to expect: An old fashioned shooting game that will keep you entertained between crushing employment rejections. What not to expect: A story. It’s yer basic, “look, a dungeon! How ‘bout some LOOTIN’!” game. What's so different from this and other games of it's genre: How time eats your life away and different character choices. Ratings on: Control: 6 (Works pretty well, but I had some issues with rapid fire.) Graphics: 4 (Not bad, considering the time. Not impressive at all, though.) Sound: 8 (I love that opening theme so much! We’re getting married in May. Gauntlet’s theme will be a spring bride.) Style: 7 (Points off for a mage, a warrior etc. in a dungeon, but the look and feel of the game are pretty original.) Difficulty: 8 (The damn life meter running out really makes you do stupid things.) 1st hour: (Play begins.)”Gauntlet.” 2nd hour: (Cool stuff about game discovered.)”Gauntlet!” 1st week: (Many deaths later.)” . . . gauntlet.” 2nd week: (Many Many Deaths later.)”GAUNTLET!!!” 5th year: (cartridge discovered wedged in the back of a 5th grade art project.)”Gauntlet?!” 5th year, 1st hour: (Annoying parts of game remembered.)”GAUNTLET!!!!!!” #1 reason why I hate this game: Sometimes in life, you pick up the reflector shot. Other times in life, you miss what you were aiming at, then you have to wait about 5 minutes before your arrow dissapears to fire another one. Other times in life, you get crabs. Isn’t that right, Jewish Turtle riding a Mechanical Bull? Jewish Turtle riding a Mechanical Bull: Hoo-ha!
by
Freeohio, the OTHER other white meat.
|
