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Tabletop Wizards of the Coast / 19XX Only I, a 14 year old boy from New Jersey, have what it takes to put up a review for the ORIGINAL RPG…
Dungeons and Dragons …the mystical game of 20 sided dice and lots of food. Now, unlike other games, this game is by far, the MOST customizable game.
Ever.
You see, Dungeons & Dragons (or, “D&D,” as us of the nerd clan call it) is played in REAL LIFE. No controllers, no 3-D graphics (unless you count that one hot girls boobs), and no music. The game is written up by the Dungeon Master (or, “DM,” in nerdese), and played out by the people, normally 4-6. Characters are usually one of the pre-made races (Humans, Dwarfs, Elves, Gnomes, Half-elves, Half-orcs, and Halflings). However, sometimes the DM will allow the players to create characters using monster classes (Orcs, Harpies, Variations of Elves, Mind Flayers (pshht. I wish), Minotaurs, and even Archons (they god damn rock).)
Character creation is VERY important to how the game will fall together. Your character could be, say, a lawful good Trumpet Archon, who worships Heironeus. That means your background story would reflect around a good path, helping the police, saving kittens, and killing dragons to save hot bar wenches. Now, a fellow player could be a chaotic evil Half-orc Barbarian who worships Gruumish, the one eyed chief god of the Orcs. This means his/her background would revolve around a path of killing random things because it looked at him wrong. Now, the DM has to think of a way of why these two TOTTALLY opposite characters would EVER work together. Maybe they were framed and thrown into prison, and they have to work together to break out. Maybe he could slap everyone in the face and say “Everyone is chaotic or lawful neutral.” The possibilities are endless.
And, when I say endless, I do mean endless. The classes, races…NOTHING, is limited to the books. They are merely guides to what CAN happen. If you would visit the IHTG forums, there was a conversation where FreeOhio thought up a class called “Lady of the Night,” which is good for girls who would like to play whores. My brother made up a class for his character called “Knight of Bahamut,” which was basically an advanced dragoon-type class.
But, that’s enough with character creation and stuff. Now, let’s move into…STORY CREATION. For new and upcoming DMs, don’t start off lame like “You are all standing in a dungeon. What do you do?” That SUCKS, and it’s been done to death. Start out with a background of the realm, world, place…something other then taking 4 random people and shoving them in a dungeon. What MAY be best is to choose one of the player’s characters, and revolve the story around them. If the other players don’t like it, you can laugh at them. Because you are god, and they are not.
Example: In the first game I played, the main character was an archer who lived at a monastery. When it was attacked by a Githzerai squad, he escaped into the nearby forest, where he met an Elven girl, who he teamed up with, should more Githzerai attack. When they got into town, the went looking for a mercenary, and found a tall, sexy, strong Half-orc named Violen, who could take down the mightiest of foes! (Seriously. I took down this really high leveled wizard with one swing.).
Finally…we’ll cover the battle system, where the 20 sided dice REALLY come in…the BATTLES. The way battles work is actually pretty simple. Characters first roll a 20 sided dice (or, “d20,” as us of the nerd clan call it) to choose their order. Whoever rolls the highest goes first. Now, let’s say I go first. I roll my d20, and I get an 18. I add all the modifiers of my strength, and any modifiers of the weapon to that number, to see if I break the enemies Armor Class (or, “AC,” as us of the nerd clan call it). If I don’t, I don’t do any damage, and my turn is skipped. If I do, I check my weapons damage. Sometimes it’ll be a d6, a d10, or even a d12. Whatever you roll with THAT, you add your strength, and any modifiers, and you do that much damage.
Of course, it works a bit different with magic, but I’ve never played a wizard. Te one time I did I got killed by a Minotaur…and then when I made my new character, I had to drink Minotaur piss. It made me stronger, but…EWWW!!!
But…yes. I’d say you should always play with friends, since sometimes random people will be assholes. It’s also fun to talk to them the next day about things talked about in the game…
That night:
The DM: The mighty dragon, from it’s perch atop the cathedral, swoops down an-
The next day:
Me: Hey, girl!
Yeah…tons of laughs when you play with friends. Trust me. D&D is NOT a total nerd game. The people I play with, if you ever saw them, you would NOT see D&D players. Even if you keep it a secret, play D&D. It’s fuuun. Just like pot knitting sweaters.
What liked: Everything is customizable…and I do mean EVERYTHING. It’s lots of fun when you play with friends, too
What disliked: I hate making characters. It takes forever.
What to expect: Lots of fun if played correctly. Possible chance of getting hit in the head with a d20.
What not to expect: That hot girl taking off her shirt. Tim's heart is in pieces.
What's so different from this and other games of it's genre: Umm…let’s see…wait…wait…it’s played on a TABLE!
Ratings on:
Control – (7): I get a bit confused on what I can and can’t do sometimes…the controls can get really confusing…
Graphics – (10): That girl is hot.
Sound – (4): Well, there was that one time Jay put on his cell phone, played the Mario Bros. theme, and a small Italian man jumped out of the bushes and punched his character in the crotch. That was pretty cool.
Style – (10): This game is more customizable then Fable…but, I suppose that isn’t really saying much…
Difficulty – (N/A): Depends on what rules you’re using, starting levels, enemies, assitude of your DM…to many factors to even get an average.
1st Hour: Ok, I think I’ve got my character set…
3rd Hour: WHAT?! I didn’t move the d20! It rolled like that! I crit. on that bugbear and I HAVE WITNESSES!
5th Hour: …A Pimp Hat of +4 Charisma. Brother (the current DM), you are sly.
10th Hour: I just knocked the living hell outta that wizard. Go me.
1st Week: …that is BULLS**T. I crit., and my check was a 20, with my uber axe, and I only did 3 damage?!
#1 reason why I hate this game: That one time that we were in that castle of the Mind Flayers, and we couldn’t figure out how to open the door, and the room was flooding, so we all died. And the game was over. That part really sucked.
by Tim, the great level 24 Half-orc Barbarian who can kill a wizard with one swing of his mighty axe.
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